agnes @coolturtleneck Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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agnes

@coolturtleneck

5 years

Status update on the gay bar that Chasten Buttigieg cancelled an event at because he didn’t like that they had a stripper pole

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

Whole catholic family agrees that it would be pointless to baptize baby yoda. As an animal, he can’t go to heaven and his consciousness will be annihilated at death

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

i'm judith butler and welcome to jackass

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@coolturtleneck

10 months

George Santos was at the club in Provincetown last night and I’m not joking

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@coolturtleneck

6 years

My roommate: hey are you the one who ate my whole thing of chobani Me:

Alyssa Milano

@Alyssa_Milano

6 years

I’m trans. I’m a person of color. I’m an immigrant. I’m a lesbian. I’m a gay man. I’m the disabled. I’m everything. And so are you, Kirk. Don’t be afraid of what you don’t know or understand. No one wants to hurt you. We are all just looking for our happily ever after.

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

one thing is for sure: this world runs on emails. if you want to be somebody, you will need to get yourself an email account

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

@kallllisti It’s real!! We were collecting signatures for Bernie there tonight. The Dark Lady in Providence

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

@rosende_art @AlanaMassey Baby Yoda will not go to heaven

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

I would like to apologize to the Catholics I have upset. I will not apologize to the Protestants or the Star Wars people

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

I want to add that i am extremely charmed by everyone using my correct pronouns while getting really mad at me. U r heard

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

imagine having ur portrait painted then you find out this is the title. i hate painters

Ilya Repin

@artistilyarepin

4 years

A Peasant with an Evil Eye, 1877 #realism #ilyarepin

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@coolturtleneck

11 months

@meanunclejack @EnnuiSports What’s Glacier Cherry

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@coolturtleneck

8 years

My trump supporter uncle arrived today but luckily so did my @PWRBTTMBAND sweatshirt

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

just found out about these paintings by Giovanni Boldini from the late 1800s and they're so weird and good???

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@coolturtleneck

6 years

My old college improv group just found out that for the past 6 months, they’ve been improvising with a 25 year old man who does not go to the college, and I cannot stop laughing. He just auditioned and got in and he is a grown up man

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

Fellas is it gay to cite? You’re literally quoting another man’s thoughts in *your* dissertation

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

@MildredPierce_ It is! We had a signature collecting event for Bernie there tonight.

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

This is how u age when u make a deal with god and get him to swap ur places

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@coolturtleneck

10 months

@elimrogers A-House

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

Can we agree that if we see one of these in public we’re gonna do crime to it

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

@Hooraydiation Baby Yoda does not have a rational soul

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@coolturtleneck

7 years

Just got back from the gender summit. Cis ppl said trans ppl can get guaranteed safety in public spaces if we stop drawing animals wearing crop tops. We said no deal

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5 years

@annadrezen

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

@femceldreamgirl Nope the artists had no idea! CIA created shell foundations that bought the art and artificially inflated the paintings’ value. Jackson Pollock was a communist

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

@crapconsumer His consciousness will be annihilated at death and he will not arrive in heaven or hell

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

I like conceptual art as long as the concept is that ur good at painting

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@coolturtleneck

3 years

I feel deep in my soul that this is Colorado Springs

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

You should all already know this but it bears repeating: never let your trans friends go to the emergency room alone, it is your job to stick by their side and make sure that they get the care they deserve

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@coolturtleneck

7 years

This Trans Person's Selfies Before and After Transitioning Will Leave You Speechless...

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@coolturtleneck

1 year

Navigating the low viz haze and toxic smog is about being yourself and living out loud. This wildfire season, chosen family is everything— so crop that top and strut your stuff

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

I just got hired as an art professor mother fucker

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@coolturtleneck

6 years

Hi Cancelled, I’m Dad 😛☺️

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@coolturtleneck

3 years

This is the funniest painting I’ve ever seen

Nikolay B. Belsky

@artistbelsky

3 years

Mental Arithmetic. In the Public School of S.Rachinsky, 1895 #bogdanovbelsky #belsky

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@coolturtleneck

3 years

i found this on a hospital's website

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@coolturtleneck

3 years

hello new york writers i am doing a solo show of paintings in April and i'm looking for someone to write the gallery's interpretive text. paid. preferably someone versed in trans studies or also just gay and smart. would involve looking at my paintings with me some afternoon

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@coolturtleneck

3 years

in art school this looks like a whole class being completely silent in critique when a student is presenting work that the rest of the class is afraid of saying the wrong thing about. it's alienating to the artist and it makes it difficult to teach kids what interpretation is

P.E. Moskowitz

@_pem_pem

3 years

my college students are all terrified of saying the wrong thing and being cancelled. they hate liberals and liberal discourse. they feel like they are constantly policed, discourse-wise. and they're all communist-leaning, not conservatives. we have a real problem !!!!

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3 years

My doctor brother could never make a critically sound painting but I could easily perform surgery

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@coolturtleneck

3 years

JUST GOT APPROVED TO TEACH THIS NEXT YEAR. IM GONNA THROW UP

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

very pleased to announce I'm back on my bullshit

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@coolturtleneck

3 years

biggest L of 2021 was the time a hookup paused and said “have you noticed you say ‘I’m having a blast’ during sex? It’s happened a few times”

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

looking at hildegard of bingen and can't stop thinking that mathematical perspective was the most boring and devastating development in the history of european painting, this is all so much cooler

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

@VicBergerIV publish the scripts ben

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

All credit due to the rigorous theology of @piagnone whose tweets prompted the discussion at our thanksgiving dinner

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

bless SOPHIE for making trans art that was opaque and impenetrable and beautiful, that nobody could demand access to without working to understand. bless all trans artists who refuse to cut and chew their audience’s food. She should have been with us for a very long time

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

Robin Williams would be so annoying with a front facing camera

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5 years

@jpbrammer Planet Earth

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@coolturtleneck

2 years

I will always get what I want. @metmuseum

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

I’m pretty much obsessed with saying kind stuff to my buddies

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

Every Trans Person Looks Good With A Mullet

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@coolturtleneck

3 years

my first solo exhibition in new york, Aurora consurgens, opens this saturday april 2nd 6-8pm at Launch F18 in Tribeca. The show is a selection of drawings and paintings from the last 3 years in my studio and I'm very proud of it. Consider urself invited ♥️

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@coolturtleneck

2 years

Bolted upright in the middle of the night having suddenly remembered Kate McKinnon’s 2017 vanity fair cover

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

@femceldreamgirl If anything it was a plot to revise and wash out any potentially political content in the work, which was pretty easy to do with abstract painting. Also making certain people really rich is an easy way to deradicalize a popular art movement.

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

Checking in on the vegan influencer from college who bought a plantation in Costa Rica. Once he sat next to me in the lunchroom and ate fifteen bananas in silence

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

A photo of you in January 2020 blissfully unaware

thomas autumnboy

@TommyDaTuba

4 years

a photo of you in january 2020 blissfully unaware

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

Accidentally dressed like somebody’s aunt in a Miyazaki movie

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

Scandalized as I put down @theorygurl ’s book and walk to the back of this coach bus to pee, only to find that someone pissed all over this bus bathroom because he refused to pee sitting down. I gasp and return to my studies

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

Hearing reports that Bernie looked Mayor Pete straight in the eyes and said “Sayonara, homo. Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.” Many are calling the comment unfair

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

Forgot Carrie Fisher has a small part in this movie! What a talent

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

Drinking windex is just drinking windex for people who drink windex

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@coolturtleneck

3 years

hot dog cart is the new ring light

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

day 30 something, neighbors politely asked me to play my soviet choral music at a more reasonable volume

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

Joni Mitchell is a legend for so many reasons but today I’m thinking about how she wrote a whole song about her friend getting too into astrology and becoming shitty to hang out with

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@coolturtleneck

2 years

@PlanetofFinks Ivan Albright’s Dorian Gray painting from the 1945 Albert Lewin film

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@coolturtleneck

2 years

U should go see my painting show

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

Woke up to find my landlord painting over my gorgeous red front door with a literal neutral, no temperature grey. A “color specialist” told them to do it. Landlords are fucking idiots

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

My mom gave me a sweater that she knit while she was pregnant with me and it’s a perfect fit

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

Tim burton claymation looking ass. Corpse bride lookin mother fucker

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4 years

My friend adopted a dog that has a history of abuse so she growls and barks at men and let me tell you there is nothing that humbles you like getting misgendered by a dog

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

I have muted this thread and instead of getting yelled at I am watching When Harry Met Sally

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

Thom Yorke texting me "I want a perfect body" at 4am

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@coolturtleneck

3 years

excited to launch my new gender neutral clothing line with The Artist’s Son Fred. It’s called HE/THEY/WE. I got a massive insurance payout after burning down a garment factory when the workers tried to unionize, so there are some big projects coming. Watch this space

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4 years

not to be a bitch but look at my new studio :)

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

Welcome to the birthday zone we miss the club

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

I hear lots of young people say that the gig economy is “uncool.” Well you might be surprised to find out that one of the coolest celebrities of all time was a freelancer. His name? Is Jesus Christ

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@coolturtleneck

3 years

happy Saturday to the wisteria in my backyard

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5 years

@femceldreamgirl I think Pollock’s paintings are really about obliterating hierarchies in the picture plane! People rly write whatever they want in the wall text

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@coolturtleneck

3 years

i want a DiscoComments bot but it's only comments like this from the Sufjan Stevens subreddit

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

I installed a hammock on the ceiling of my studio, it is about 10 ft from the ground and extremely precarious to climb into. And yet

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@coolturtleneck

2 years

Genuinely the best dating advice I can offer is to text ur crush pics of medieval polyhedra. Works every time

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

@Target Thats not very #YasssQueen of you :(

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@coolturtleneck

4 years

Hello twitter I finished grad school yesterday

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@coolturtleneck

2 years

I had my name picked out for years before I changed it publicly & then the same week I resolved to make the change but hadn’t told anyone yet, my roommate got a pet rat & named it Princess Agnes

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@coolturtleneck

3 years

This is a Twitter-exclusive soft launch of my new glasses

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@coolturtleneck

3 years

I just accidentally signed an email “Best?” and sent it

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@coolturtleneck

2 years

My friends picked up a big stick and I bet them I could jump over it

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

Massive shoutout to the lesbians rolling up to pride events in high school athletic sweats. Thank u for ur service

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@coolturtleneck

3 years

@Lubchansky Mattie we don’t know each other but I used to season & pack these exact curds and sell them at farmers markets!! I was the dairy circuit’s premier transgender cheesemonger lmk if you have any questions

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@coolturtleneck

2 years

Mama Cass & Julie Andrews

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@coolturtleneck

5 years

Horse divorce

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@coolturtleneck

6 years

I replied to the Instagram story of someone I barely know and wanna befriend but then I accidentally heart reacted my own reply like a fucking narc. Imagine seeing that in ur DMs. A psycho move

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@coolturtleneck

3 years

Accidentally took a really good pic at the optometrist