I was playing college football 25 last night and I’m shocked how realistic it is. I was practicing trying to get more reps in so I can be a starter by my sophomore year and practice got cut short because some kid on campus started shooting up the campus with a Ar-15
If I was president, I would make the NFL start in the spring and keep college ball in the fall so we could have football to watch 24/7 365 and a 4th of July Super Bowl
My sophomore year I drank a whole bottle of Pink Whitney and an unknown number of claws, got kicked out of the party, walked 3 miles home in -10 degree windchill, made 2 boxes of Craft Mac and cheese, threw it all up and passed out in the bathroom until 5pm the next day.
I woke up this morning and the left told me:
I couldn’t go to my buddies lake house
I couldn’t eat a dog and a burg
I couldn’t drink 8 high noons
I can’t strike out w/ the chicks at the party
Needless to say we proved them all wrong.
Happy 4th everyone!
@flexupfirstyear
And then theirs one dude with no standards banging fat chicks like it’s his job inflating their ego which trickles up the chain. (Supply side pussinomics)
She’s kinda always serving Thanksgiving 2016 energy so her being vocal about supporting Trump is actually so on brand. Like tell me this isn’t giving girl who walked into the hometown bar saying she thinks trump is a smart business person who will help the economy
Hugh’s apartment toilet bowl is really small so every time I take a dump my tip rubs against the cold porcelain at the front of the bowl and sends a shiver down my spine
I wake up, I tweet, I go to work, I tweet, I shit, I tweet , I go home, I tweet, I jack off, I tweet, I go to bed and do it all again the next day.
I am Hugh “The Wrench” Janus MBA
@lancemcdonald84
Lance, Make sure to ask them how bad the hazing is and what there secret handshake is. Remember to mention that you started varsity football ur senior year! They are going to love you