my hot take is the late friends aren’t that bad once you realize they’re the late friends. i just tell them we’re hanging out 2 hours earlier than i want and then it works out perfectly
So like two years ago I decided to stop being the friend who was always early and become the friend who was always late and I’m sorry to report my life has improved tremendously. I’m so sorry
i’m sorry but being mad at “megan’s law” is like getting mad at someone mentioning the amber alert. like that’s just what it’s called. you’re being dramatic
sometimes i like a tweet and then remember that twitter puts the tweets you like on your followers’ timelines a lot and then i unlike it because it’s embarrassing
every single organ in my body including my skin: please drink some water eat some fruit we are dying at least just go to sleep
me, at midnight, on a wednesday, shoving more cheetos into my mouth while i drink another soda: shut the fuck up