chartreuse wahoo @chartreusewahoo Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@ShipsLucia

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@s__nb__18

@435_yo

@duty_video

@vaporiie

@Zippy_Natty

@meidussa

@makail_cotto

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@Vacuum_PH

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@bokeplokalmalam

@CherylM78408746

@Alice_0428

chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 months

THEY LAUGHED AT ME FOR BRINGING TUMS TO THE CLUB BUT GUESS WHAT NOW THEYRE ALL ASKING ME FOR FUCKING TUMS IN THE CLUB

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 months

These Joe’s really took like half my tums

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

4 years

@becwthabrownies I needed this validation that maybe I’m not a bad plant mom

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

So you’ve been admitted to law school and you’re DYING to get a head start over the summer preparing for it. You should really just enjoy yourself but if you can’t stand it and absolutely have to do something here’s what you should do: make a spreadsheet/word doc/whatever of

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 years

You guys I really fucking did it. Today I got sworn in. Monday I start my new job. After failing out of law school the first time. After Covid law school. After getting dumped right before my last semester. After failing the bar exam the first time.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

10 months

@AKBrews I wonder who will be lucky enough to get the single red pepper flake in their 10,000 calorie bowl of pasta?

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

7 months

TIL Louisiana notary commissions are good for life. Makes for a rather ominous notarization.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

No context bar prep

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

4 years

OMG THIS CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY AND IVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY @poorlycatdraw 😭😭😭😻😻😻

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

Does everyone have 1 friend that will text you 8 times in a row in rapid succession and then just never respond when you ask them a question?

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

every place you’ve ever lived and worked in the past 10 years. Rando restaurant you worked at is defunct now? Track down a manager or coworker who’s willing to verify that. I’m serious. The micromanaging nutjobs at the ENSEEBEEEE will ask for this heinous shit. That study abroad?

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

9 months

He is about to say the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard in your entire life

dave wagner

@Dbwagner104

9 months

this is a cat. glorious, yes? most people have never seen one. that's because no cat has ever been captured in a photo before today. a lot of folks think they know what cats look like, but actually they've only seen a mountain, or a book. common mistakes.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

1 year

My favorite thing about lawyers is that every single one of them thinks that law students need all of their advice.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

7 years

@Keelythomas_ @JelianMercado Yeah of repackaged used makeup

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 months

@propxganda This was post club back at home assessing how many they went through

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 months

@cat_i_e I can’t wait to see a screenshot of it on Instagram in 2 weeks

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 years

I passed the bar exam why am I not a bajillionaire yet?

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

You’ll need an address for that if it was longer than a month. “But I meant I wanted to start studying THE LAW!” Well when they’ll want all of this info from you will be in the middle of when you’re trying to study for a billion finals and finish a billion papers and projects.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 years

Twitter right now feels like when you’re at the bar at 2 am and they turn on the lights and tell everyone to finish their drinks and everyone just keeps hanging out but like a little more nervously, waiting for the angry bartender to come back and start forcing everyone out.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

The only other thing you should do is premeditate some healthy coping habits and set aside whatever finances you can to be able support them when the time comes.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

So you will be helping your future self out infinitesimally if you already have all of this info prepared and ready to just be re-entered. Especially if you’re like me and switching gears from one obscenely complicated project to another feels like some perverted torture.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

Love getting threatening emails from my prof during finals 🥰🥰🥰

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

7 years

@PandemoNiam_ @FBGHarry @moosefooot Well good thing no one asked you then

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

GO AWAY

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

9 months

Yeah boomers own them all and want to RENT them to you for $2,700 a month

Jerseygirl #FBR 🟧

@gggirl924

9 months

Kids today wonder how our parents were able to survive with one paycheck. This is exactly how it was done. See the size of this house. This was normal when I was growing up. No 5 bedroom homes with 5 baths. Living and buying within your means. Starter homes.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

6 months

I’m going to fall out of the boat tomorrow

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 years

And now we ball

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

7 years

@Keelythomas_ @JelianMercado

Los Angeles Times

@latimes

7 years

A lawsuit claims beauty retailer Ulta has a "widespread and surreptitious practice" of reselling used makeup as new to unsuspecting customers

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

@KinseyAndrew There’s a huge difference though between a person who asks questions because they are actually trying to understand something and a person who asks questions to hear themselves talk and kiss ass. Especially when it’s in class wasting everyone else’s time. Just go to office hours.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

ASKING ME HOW THE BAR EXAM WENT IS A VIOLATION OF MY HIPPA RIGHTS AND ALSO I WILL CRY

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

4 years

I’m about to be sooooo annoying this summer lmao

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 years

@weirdlilguys @flatbushcats My weird clingy girl ❤️

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

1 year

I graduated dead last in my class y’all ain’t want my advice

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

Where I’ll be at mentally for the next 4 months

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 years

After taking the bar exam again in the US Virgin Islands because I missed the registration deadline for my jurisdiction. After what felt like a 3 month obstacle course to get my score transferred. It’s all finally fucking happening.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

Sorry but I’m going to enjoy this since I’m here and I took the bar exam

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

LOOK AT HIS SPLOOT

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

Wooo the dress I ordered to finally do real grad pics in finally arrived

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

#SelfCareSunday

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

I’m really ready to not feel extreme guilt for every single thing I do that isn’t bar prep

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

9 months

Vince Young looking older than Matthew McConaughey

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

I always tell myself that when I get home I’m going to do xyz but every time I get home and just want to do zzz

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

4 years

If you’re going to make a piece of clothing fuzzy on the outside, it should also be fuzzy on the inside. That should be the law.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

5 months

Hehe Sophie is finally warming up to her new friend lol thank you for this adorable creation @poorlycatdraw

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

5 years

@MRSePETERS @mamasahotmess04 Then you don’t ever have to have one!!!! But leave everyone else out of it. I’m very passionate about how tacky your lipgloss looks but I would never oppose your right to wear it!

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

This is literally Greg Abbott

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

11 months

Fuckin restaurant supply ass car

Miss Gender

@girldrawsghosts

11 months

just saw what the cybertruck looks like from behind and buddy I am both hootin and hollerin

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

9 months

I have seen the bass pro shop guys wiener way too many times today

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 years

Ok I need the true crime girlies to figure out what’s going on at the Dallas Zoo

William Joy

@WilliamJoy

2 years

BREAKING: The Dallas Zoo says 2 tamarin monkeys have been stolen after the enclosure was "compromised". This month at the zoo: - Endangered vulture died by an “unusual wound” - clouded leopard escaped after enclosure was cut - langur monkey enclosure found cut ( @wfaa )

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

10 months

We did it and I’m OBSESSED with the result! 😍😍😍

chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

10 months

Forcing my family to do this with me today 🥰

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

5 years

@JonesGfashaw @allthatmelanin And you got ratio’ed byyyyyyye

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

How am I supposed to not get shitfaced between day 1 and day 2???????

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

1 year

@AggieDavePodcst @CoachJayArnold Idk who you think “we” is but the replies are suggesting it’s mostly a you problem

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

I think imma just start registering for the February bar because lol @ this shit

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

5 months

@AKBrews A lot of fragile masculinity

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

1-800-FUCK-HIM

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

8 months

Maybe I’ll just make a heart-shaped cake every weekend

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

9 months

@dieworkwear Ok but this is OUTSTANDING work and has me howling everytime it comes up

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

5 years

@WinterForMT Sir if you don’t keep that dog... also he may have just been abandoned/dumped if he’s malnourished...

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

1 year

We had a new associate attorney start on Monday. Yesterday she wore a sundress and flip flops to the office. We’re pretty casual but not that casual lol I haven’t been here long but I’ve never seen anyone wear flip flops.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

10 months

Subpoenaed a dog.

Ryan McKeen

@ryanmckeen

10 months

What’s the most random thing you’ve done as a lawyer? I once did a prenup for a client at an airport baggage claim at midnight. Go.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

1 year

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

6 months

HOTTER 👏🏼AND 👏🏼MORE 👏🏼ANNOYING👏🏼

chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

9 months

In 2024 I aspire to get hotter and more annoying

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

8 months

I have decided to enter my finance bro era

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

6 months

Lululemon is fixing to sell me a mirror because holy ass Batman it do not look like that in the mirror we have at home

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

Part of me wants to get back on dating apps but part of me wants to yeet myself into the sun

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 years

I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶b̶u̶y̶ ̶m̶y̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ ̶f̶l̶o̶w̶e̶r̶s̶.̶ I can be flowers.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 years

@erikavonhelsing Ok but the Beatles are highly overrated

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

@JoannaMang @clhubes @amykaycannon It’s sounds like another fancy way to say they hate homeless people without saying it

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

Ok but if Texas is going to keep giving me bellbottom weather...

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 months

I’m having a terrible day and I need attention

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

I will simply skip any questions involving per stirpes because those aren’t real words

none gender

@leftfemme

3 years

what’s your most hated MBE subject and why is it property?

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

9 months

All I want for Christmas is for Tyreek Hill to stunt on these hoes

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 months

In case you need a flag to salute tonight

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

Fuck nature I am healing

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

My new job involves secured transactions so I should apologize in advance because I’m about to become 10x more annoying probably.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

10 months

Desperately trying to lick the batter out of the whisk like a dog with a peanut butter-filled kong toy. And don’t @ me about salmonella I have health insurance again and do not give a fuck.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 years

Cute guys in scrubs are risky. They could be like a nurse or a dr. Or they could be a fuckin chiropractor.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

1 year

Oh my god Zara really came through for the Barbie fit

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

I completed the bar exam

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

4 years

Ok...but...what if I just...like...went to the store...and just...bought a cake...for myself...

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

8 months

I finally got some good loafers. In 2-3 years I will be your stepdad.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

1 year

Last morning at sea 😢

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

10 months

Forcing my family to do this with me today 🥰

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

Rain noises once you’re already home for the evening>>>>>>

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

4 years

@jackgerardino @bessbell @staceyNYCDC @JessicaValenti @tressiemcphd No he was fully unemployed and still couldn’t parent his own child.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

11 months

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

@BuzzFeed @BadLegalTakes

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 years

Yesterday I had a biria grilled cheese and tomato soup for lunch and I haven’t stopped thinking about it

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 years

I really want a fat ass steak and some mashed potatoes that are at least 35% butter

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

9 months

I vote we just call it a week and try again next week

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

3 years

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

7 months

Put a new sweater with the green pants today and I really really like this fit. Yes, the sweater is brown, if you make a poop reference you’re getting blocked.

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

1 year

I swear there’s some muscle in those legs somewhere

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

1 year

Wow y’all liked the shit out of my dumb lawyer advice but not a single like on my ass snorkeling pic y’all priorities are hopeless

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 months

I just can’t believe that out of all the dumb tweets I’ve tweeted over a literal decade that that’s the one that did it

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

8 months

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

4 years

@miaqt1 @staceyNYCDC @tressiemcphd Oh he’d already quit his job before the virus broke out. He was just fully unemployed and still could not father his own child...

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 years

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chartreuse wahoo

@chartreusewahoo

2 years

Where are we going tonight

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