Brock Wilbur @brockwilbur Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@Nwike__

@strle

@Sanaclinee

@ehanniy

@aqueenofsorrows

@rawr_trade

@liweijianglw

@LameesGhamdi

@SumiSemok

@MeryLami41376

@stwmaniax

@Bleu314

@Cartolouco

@ISB_VE

@ANKOHA_GA_SUKI

@v_i_o_d

@Ladyratu423298

@02rr_rt

@bokeplokalmalam

@aichan366

@tatimse

@Twitamir80

@ClarkCoverage

@maduro_en

@yon444444444444

@ZinMinL75139692

@sboh3333

@soua0x0cos

@fleurpeaches

@BelajarBrondong

@Dhafer_hussani

@KEN_THE_334

@candlelightx2

@t_2310111

@sousou_106

@sabine_nylon

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

just wanna be clear: this is an actual shot from Mortal Engines of what remains from the culture of the united states

161

2K

15K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

Short Thread: staying with some friends and last night after everyone went to bed I could not figure out how to turn off the large ceiling light in their living room. There is a wall controller that seemed fairly straightforward.

260

5K

14K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

150

2K

14K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

Gotta say one of the bleakest parts of today was Sen. Duckworth, a disabled vet, saying say she was lucky to find a place to safely lockdown on account of a lack of wheelchair access. Normal country.

35

3K

11K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

Here is the thing about Nick Cordero's death that I hope becomes a talking point: There isn't a single one of us that's in better shape than an A-list Broadway musical actor. So if you think you're too young or healthy for this to get you, please get the fuck back inside.

25

2K

8K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

1 year

You play Justin Long’s PR team.

Pop Crave

@PopCrave

1 year

Horror film ‘Barbarian’ is being turned into a single-player video game, which will be created by Diversion3 Entertainment. 🔗:

131

626

12K

23

272

7K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

eat shit.

233

1K

6K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

the first true crime podcast was bob dylan's "the hurricane" which is 8:33 of explaining a crime, detailing a wrongful conviction, condemning the system, and still finding time for bitchin' fiddle riffs SEND TWEET

46

1K

6K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

10 months

In HOME ALONE, Kevin's mom says she'd sell her soul to the devil to get home and that's the exact moment John Candy appears. Did the Kenosha Kickers sign a deal in blood at the crossroads with Gus Polinski to find eternal stardom on the Midwest polka circuit? Perhaps!

45

426

6K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

Whomever at Four Seasons Landscaping who took the call about a press conference, having never once hosted a live event/press conference, and said "Sure we can make that happen!" is a goddamned American Hero and the pinnacle of opportunity capitalism.

39

572

5K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

From 12:30 to 1am last night, I was engaged in a proxy war with up to three other apartments, as they in turn, set my fan to high and my lights to the brightest setting, until everyone gave up.

14

168

4K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

This house is available for 350k in rural Missouri near a winery we enjoy. Have a look through the photos and wait for the moment where it turns a corner. Do not read the description first. I promise this is worth it.

290

846

4K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

My inclination is to go Full Lawful Good and turn off everyone’s lights tonight at 10pm to make sure we all get a good night of sleep and wake up rested and ready for a productive Saturday.

50

3K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

1 year

This is behind a paywall.

62

73

3K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

I am staying here again tonight. I look forward to wrestling control of the lights from what is essentially angry ghosts in my own personal AITA post.

8

52

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

@BWDR I have odd soft spot for Ocean's 12 where Julia Roberts plays a character that looks like Julia Roberts and impersonates Julia Roberts but then gets star-struck running into Bruce Willis.

17

176

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

The light is off. War is over.

42

32

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

There are almost 40 units within reach. Based on the binary code limitation there’s only 16 possible code options. So everyone in this building controls the main light and fan of at least one other person; maybe more.

18

127

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

.... i might make this my header image. it's three days old and I already need an oral history of this tweet.

27

229

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

@goldengateblond @SenMikeLee YOOOOOO MIKE! It's the second impeachment trial, dawg. He literally got a mulligan.

15

196

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 months

@wiIIiamcreamer This is such a specific flex I have no choice but to respect it

2

4

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

this is a game that just released for the switch

74

303

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

Matt Gaetz saying he isn't trafficking a child because his dad is wearing a wire to prevent deep-state crimes is on par with the day when Jacob Wohl called a press conference on his mom's porch to explain how Elizabeth Warren fucked a Marine to death. Classic Twitter Bits Day.

33

266

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

The very first person I encountered outside of the house today, whom I do not know, told me unprompted that Jeffrey Epstein faked his own death. Folks, today is the day that the real world became Twitter, and this is the moment I spent ten years training for.

15

159

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

6 years

Trump misspelled McCarthyism as "McCathyism" and now I just imagine him running around the residence shouting "ack" and "chocolate" while carrying bags full of crimes.

66

251

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

Me, an archeologist uncovering the most important artifact of my entire lifetime: SMMMOOOOKIN!

24

236

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

Our hosts have been here for six months and have found a way to live with it by imagining who in their building they might be interacting with. This one guy who they think particularly might be an asshole and they have suspicions about when he’s running the show.

12

30

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

The "See you in Hell" is a *literal* chef's kiss.

Michael Tisserand

@m_tisserand

4 years

New Orleans Chef Jason Goodenough isn’t having it. The only thing I know for sure about this week is I’m getting food at his Carrollton Market.

146

3K

20K

7

305

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

In a horrific accident, the bikkies container was too full and broke when I was attempting to dispense bikkies. The Trash Boys have offered to help with clean-up efforts. Godspeed to our first responders.

20

350

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

oh shit subway is “push notification pissed”

37

116

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

Addams Family Values predicted Jordan Peterson.

7

180

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

Each time we thought everything was off, a few seconds later something else (or everything else) would turn back on. Minute twenty, I started laughing out of sheer frustration at what felt like a Myst puzzle. Couldn’t wake our friends cause they have a small kid.

12

33

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

So uh. I got something for the cats. And no, I do not have an answer to any of your questions.

45

257

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

We must get rid of schools to protect guns is a God Tier take. Yes, it will save us oodles of money when 3.5 million teachers are laid off. In order to protect guns we should definitely choose to add the population of Connecticut to our unemployment numbers. Did a gun write this?

35

387

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 months

@Accidental_PR amc employees: "you'd be surprised how often this happens"

12

5

2K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

3 years

Really love that there's a genre with 10+ films in it that's simply "Patrick Wilson Is Not Having A Great Time In This House" give me more please.

13

220

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

Our friends are in a newly built condo complex. The fan controls use a binary code to connect to the fans. Additionally the controls were only supposed to have a signal reach of 30 feet. They reach much, much further.

9

69

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

"Baby Yoda, a new Sofia Coppola film," has me really fucking excited and then it was all downhill from there.

VANITY FAIR

@VanityFair

4 years

Baby Yoda, a new Sofia Coppola film, and a West Wing special are all coming to streaming services next month.

13

26

233

12

150

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

6 years

best art at the guggenheim rn

Andrew Kimmel

@andrewkimmel

6 years

Protestors staged a die-in & dropped flyers @ the #Guggenheim tonight demanding that the museum remove the name of the Sackler family, owners of ⁦ @purduepharma ⁩ that produces OxyContin. The pill kills ~200 people every day #OpioidEpidemic . Read more:

71

754

2K

3

288

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

If cats can do it, there's no reason for you to fuck it up.

The Philippine Star

@PhilippineStar

4 years

These stray cats were spotted occupying the circle marks intended for the implementation of social distancing protocols in front of a store in Brgy. Holy Spirit, Quezon City on Sunday amid enhanced community quarantine.

636

25K

74K

10

372

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

Some Personal News: I have accepted an offer to become the new editor-in-chief of Kansas City's alt magazine The Pitch. The publication is celebrating its 40th anniversary of being a cultural cornerstone in the Midwest. I'm looking forward to making it weirder than ever before.

150

46

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

1 year

… PROBABLY!

9

226

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

I have two neighbors with opposite political opinions who are engaged in a forever war of crafting increasingly cartoonishly large yard signs for their candidates. Their neighbor across the street finally broke and weighed in.

21

160

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

Genuinely hilarious that the Twitter bot that reposted all of his tweets as press releases has now come full circle—where we would now need a bot that turns his press releases as fake tweets.

Aaron Rupar

@atrupar

4 years

Trump's tweets are somehow even more insane when they're released as White House statements. It's like we're living in a parody.

983

1K

10K

22

191

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

let the free market decide except for when it decides wrong

15

319

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

This morning we asked about what the deal was with the light. The answer has broken me.

1

38

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

1 year

ChatGPT pulling a final act of War of the Worlds where it seemed unstoppable but exposure to our diseases (being dumb as hell, hell yeah) is killing it slowly, painfully.

Tim Onion

@oneunderscore__

1 year

lol

274

3K

44K

14

295

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

There is a large main light, a smaller light on top that faces up, several levels of brightness, and a fan. Each time I tried to turn off the upward facing light, something else would turn on. After ten minutes, I woke up my wife to ask her to help. It only got worse.

3

24

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

My grandmother (89) has not left the house except for emergencies in the last 3 years. Kansas lifted restrictions and today she had a nurse take her to a hairdresser, IHOP and to walk around Hobby Lobby. All without masks. Guess what news network convinced her she had to do this.

32

140

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

Suddenly, we solved it. Everything went off and stayed off and after waiting a full minute we realized it was gonna stay that way. This is circa 1am. I finally went to sleep.

1

17

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

3 years

I cannot wait for the oral history of Facebook Crash Day as told by its employees anonymously, but the tantrum Mark is throwing in my imagination would be hard for reality to top.

6

277

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

3 years

One of the North Carolina fans is holding up a "Birds Aren't Real" sign against the Jayhawks and I must admit: the joke good. The joke good here.

16

109

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

The best part of the movie is when Kong says "Mothra" and Godzilla says "Why did you say that name?"

11

135

1K

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

when you put your corgi figurine on a corgi

15

150

993

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

My therapist ended our session today by telling me about a recent podcast she listened to that might help me out. I said “But doc, I produce that podcast.” And in that moment I became Podgliacci. Please subscribe. [This happened and I am sitting in parking lot gazing at nothing]

15

171

968

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

6 years

I regretfully inform you that my sons Andy and Ollie Pesto are back on their bullshit.

14

103

963

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

One of my best friends died of corona today. I want to make change happen and I don’t have liquid cash for charities. I have rare records. I’m putting one up each day for the entire month. Each will go up at noon, blind dm me an offer, at midnight I’ll pick a winner and mail out.

100

272

939

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

2 years

bumper stickers on this minivan making some statements

38

43

965

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

@travishelwig @ThomasJTobin1 Travis. C'mon man. If you give consent he won't be into it.

12

9

858

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

who called it "stonks" and not "hate-stage capitalism"?

4

127

913

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

There are several crimes here.

Best of Nextdoor 🏡

@bestofnextdoor

5 years

WHY HAS "SWEET CHILD O' MINE" BEEN BLARING ON REPEAT FOR THE LAST 3 DAYS???

119

571

3K

19

97

881

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

10 months

was there a reason we stopped talking about this after it left theaters? due for a rewatch i guess

121

23

905

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

The Mist accurately predicted anti-mask Karens in grocery stores.

9

124

862

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

6 years

The Kansas City Comic-Con is here this weekend. In the same venue, there is an Alpaca conference. So. There is some real Midwest-ass cross-overs happening. (credit @AdamCareyRed )

23

307

857

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

3 years

i, too, only watch the first half of each Black Mirror episode and think "that's probably a good idea!"

San Francisco Chronicle

@sfchronicle

3 years

Eight years after his fiancee died of a rare liver disease at 23, Joshua Borbeau, still grieving, began texting with an artificial intelligence simulation of her.

176

442

1K

3

79

857

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

this debate ended by asking every dem candidate who we would be surprised that they were friends with. elizabeth warren is going last and she didn't answer with "well, he's this marine...." She could've won the entire election in this moment.

7

60

847

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

6 years

Captain Marvel is a good movie. I have seen it, and many of you who will yell at me about this opinion, have not. To you I offer an alternative: take a nap. Naps are good. But not as good as The Last Jedi oh god why would I do this to myself

29

70

839

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

OVERHEARING A GUY (50s?) EXPLAINING TO ANOTHER GUY (50s?) THAT SMOOTH BY ROB THOMAS ACTUALLY FEATURES SANTANA AND THE OTHER GUY IS LIKE NO SMOOTH BY SANTANA FEATURES ROB THOMAS AND THEY BOTH HAVE PHONES BUT REFUSE TO CHECK BECAUSE THIS HAS BECOME A _DEBATE_ HELP ME

27

51

843

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

who called it mortal engines and not invoreious bastards

3

6

783

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

... tell my wife I love her very much SHE KNOWSSSS

7

153

818

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

14

54

776

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

Lol 0wned

31

37

753

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

Trump is yelling at a journalist while insisting that he brings people together. It's like seeing NextDoor as a person.

5

93

748

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

3 years

So many people died this year that the In Memorium is giving less than a second to each person holy shit this is the bleakest thing I've ever seen.

13

59

733

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

All 17 stages of the hero's journey in one Nextdoor post.

Best of Nextdoor 🏡

@bestofnextdoor

5 years

"If anyone happens to see a common field mouse run by in a Hot pink sweater, please disregard."

31

334

2K

7

90

738

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

All it take to get YouTube to review a single toxic account is to be called out by a public figure with 100k followers and a campaign with 4k retweets on its initial tweet thread. Exactly how it was designed to function. Maybe don't give YouTube a cookie for their Pride video.

The Hill

@thehill

5 years

YouTube investigating conservative commentator Steven Crowder after accusations of homophobic, derogatory comments

20

10

54

11

219

712

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

I can see no Biblical standard for consistently increasing the height of a structure, constructed of man's hubris, ever going poorly in God's eyes.

AFP Photo

@AFPphoto

4 years

#Brazil - Brazil building new giant Christ statue, taller than Rio's. #AFP 📸 Silvio Avila

40

89

265

21

148

704

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

turkey came out weird

13

40

699

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

The reactions to this have either been "worst movie ever" or "now i NEED to see this; sold!" with nothing in between, which really sells me on the idea that Minions might be a religious belief.

6

19

687

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

If you hate Democrats, North Hollywood must be a tricky place to live.

Rex Chapman🏇🏼

@RexChapman

4 years

Opening day at Trader Joe’s in North Hollywood, Ca. Karen is mad she was mask shamed...

7K

22K

100K

47

54

663

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

3 years

The art The artist

15

88

684

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

For each fav you leave, I will pet Woodward on the belly, the ears, and the cheeks. If you do not have a cat to pet in front of you, please love vicariously through my furry journalism sons.

11

37

679

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

Not to start a fight over a choice made in December '06, but Michael absolutely does know how and would be proud of it. He had to teach himself by watching movies alone in his apartment, over the course of ten years, and he would brag about this because it makes him interesting.

Corey Ryan Forrester First of His Name

@CoreyRForrester

5 years

I normally refrain from nit picking works of fiction too heavily but there is no way Michael Scott would know how to use chopsticks

3

5

72

5

34

686

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

whoooo gives a shiiiiiiit

24

53

647

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

2 years

I’m late, but you were right. This is better.

59

2

664

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

i'm at the four seasons i'm at the landscape firm i'm at the combination four seasons and landscape firm

11

67

652

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

*the sound of SNL writers room scrapping absolutely every single skit for tomorrow and starting from scratch*

6

90

648

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

A company reached out to ask me if I needed a ghost writer to help me finish a project. I said I was a professional ghost writer. A new guy showed up to try to recruit me to work for them and said he is a Ghost Writer Hunter and oh fuck me I want that title on a business card.

14

28

638

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

had to screengrab just before i blocked him because holy shit what a take

119

36

627

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

4 years

Rewatch of THANK YOU FOR SMOKING has hit a speedbump right outta the gate.

27

52

626

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

6 years

@dyllyp dylan, my wife and i thank you for this gift

4

3

553

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

Cannot wait until next summer when every movie is a rom com about two people that fall in love during quarantine. “She was ready to leave him, but then the whole world changed. Now, he’s got two months to prove he can change... and... Lock It Down.”

19

49

610

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

3 years

tfw you have ascended from The Discourse

7

97

617

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

what band is this wrong answers only

2K

63

554

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

5 years

@BWDR It's a single degree away from being acceptable but Adam Sandler playing very obviously Adam Sandler and hating his life and career in Funny People is the GOAT.

5

22

583

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur

3 years

Eric Trump and Allen Weisselberg already testified in this case and invoked the Fifth Amendment 500+ times so uh.... "Nevertheless,"

71

184

554

Brock Wilbur

@brockwilbur