bart @bart_smith Twitter profile

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bart

@bart_smith

5 years

You may think you don't need to watch this video of Mitt Romney getting a cake made out of twinkies, but otherwise how will you find out what completely bizarre way Mitt Romney blows out birthday candles

Mitt Romney

@MittRomney

5 years

My team surprised me with a cake made out of my favorite snack—twinkies! Looking forward to all this year has in store.

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2 months

I'm sincerely happy that shelley duvall got to spend her last birthday with somebody who cared so much for

Shelley Duvall Archive

@shelleyduvallxo

2 months

I celebrated in person with the birthday girl Shelley yesterday. She said it was a fantastic day because of all the goodies and cards I brought 👑✨🎂💐

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3 months

had to know where Hollywood’s Good Boy Jack Quaid stands on this

Entertainment Weekly

@EW

3 months

Dennis Quaid plans to vote for Donald Trump: 'People might call him an a--hole — but he's my a--hole.'

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6 months

the cameraman deserves the cinematography Oscar for that slow zoom out reveal

Ahmed/The Ears/IG: BigBizTheGod 🇸🇴

@big_business_

6 months

You’ll never guess who’s sitting at the table

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4 years

trying to wrap my head around the idea that dame helen mirren is a resident of nevada

NV Dems

@nvdems

4 years

🎉 First time voter alert! Join Actress and Nevada resident Helen Mirren in making your plan to vote early by visiting

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4 months

Do you know what you need to have said to get this group of people to be basically on the same side

Jane Coaston 🏔️

@janecoaston

5 months

@tomgara Do you know what you need to have said to get this group of people to be basically on the same side

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1 year

@BrandyLJensen the fact that this person’s name and face haven’t been plastered all over the internet is proof that everybody on that flight has to feel that same level of sympathy for them

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4 years

@karencheee I think the idiom about how people get more conservative as they get older was heavily dependent on people getting richer as they get older

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@bart_smith

5 years

Mitt Romney has been alive for 72 years and apparently has never seen a normal person blow out birthday candles

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2 years

@mikeryan you mean they didn’t go with this?

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7 years

It's astounding how anyone could be arguing with a nazi and lose the moral high ground

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8 years

Me, a month ago: Donald Glover is the perfect pick for Lando, I can't imagine any reason why I'd have a problem with that Me, now: Dammit

James Hibberd

@JamesHibberd

8 years

FX's ‘Atlanta' return pushed to 2018 due to Han Solo movie

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5 months

completely normal fan base

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4 years

@BrandyLJensen How come all these guys that are so obsessed with manliness always look like this?

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1 year

@parkerspolitics @BrandyLJensen I wasnt asking for an answer, Betty

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1 year

@Smutchings @iamharaldur @Delta I’m guessing the policy has nothing to do with data actually and is entirely about them trying to avoid getting publicly embarrassed

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7 months

@BrndnStrssng that just makes it funnier

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2 years

@alex_abads it’s simply too late in the calendar year to introduce something new into the discourse

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1 year

@bungarsargon just checked your twitter bio and it says here that you're the deputy opinion editor of a national magazine. so your whole job is based around people having opinions on things that may not affect them directly

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4 years

@chrissyteigen And why would John be on his period?

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1 year

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8 days

@human_clickbait @BrandyLJensen it’s not even the first show to do that storyline

Brian Grubb

@briancgrubb

7 years

Fox's new show 9-1-1 is: - mostly a straightforward network melodrama - a wild show that has decapitated a snake and launched a bouncy house into the sky Let's discuss.

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5 years

@meowshley @kenklippenstein Joker (2019)

Cohen is a ghost

@skullmandible

11 years

most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns

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2 years

the new york times told their columnists to write about something they got wrong. bret stephens had so much to choose from and this is what he turned in?

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1 year

@rachelmillman I'm sure submarine stepson would have found his stepdad if only given the opportunity

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8 months

@kelsaywhat I can at least respect it on some level, because this seems like the rare commercial from a celebrity who actually uses and truly endorses that product

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4 years

@chrissyteigen @JoeBiden it does feel a bit out of sync that he's the 46th president of the united states but he's following 45 people

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1 year

@alex_abads what kills me is that all of this is about him not having a post-credit scene in black adam, a movie which itself was not well received and underperformed at the box office, as if that alone would somehow have saved shazam 2

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2 years

do these people not understand that most people just want to be able to send and read tweets

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1 year

@MeganBitchell why is the cost to ship both Bob and David the same as the cost to ship just Lena Dunham

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22 days

@cwarzel I need to know why he went to the effort of drawing this sign and then not putting any text on it

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8 years

If there were really armed clowns wandering around rural parts of the Carolinas, somebody would have shot one by now

Natalie Allison

@natalie_allison

8 years

After multiple deputies went out to investigate, found out the supposed eyewitness was a 9y/o boy. Aren't convinced.

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1 year

@willystaley zoomers are missing out the quintessential young person experience of not closing your tab at the end of the night and having to go back to bar the next day to retrieve your credit card

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2 years

@MilesKlee That’s Speedee

Whatever Happened To McDonald's First Mascot, Speedee? - Mashed

To advertise their speed, however, McDonald's needed a mascot. So, they created Speedee, a chef with a hamburger-shaped head and an appropriately blunt name.

www.mashed.com

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6 years

I’m confused by the Television Academy’s new “ @meganamram rule”. Will the Kevin Spacey video be eligible for Outstanding Short Form Emmys or no?

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7 years

If you saw the Smashing Pumpkins reunion going any differently than this, then you don’t know the Smashing Pumpkins all that well

Smashing Pumpkins Issue Statement About D’arcy Wretzky’s Inclusion In Reunion

After years of speculation and rumors, the majority of the Smashing Pumpkins’ founding members are finally coming together for a reunion album produced by Rick Rubin, but original bassist D’arcy...

www.stereogum.com

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6 years

There's no more 2018 a story than a furry getting an internship at NASA and then immediately losing it after telling Homer Hickam to suck their dick and balls

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2 years

@jacksonhinklle sir, you are paying $8 a month for a subscription to nothing

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1 year

@fiImgal he’s also just abiding by one of the rules for the Airbnb Barbie Dreamhouse

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1 year

what’s the point in renting the barbie malibu dreamhouse if you can’t even go down the slide or rollerblade on the dance floor

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4 months

what a visual this is. something like this should put an end to his shot of being the permanent chancellor, but this is exactly what the people in charge want

The Daily Tar Heel

@dailytarheel

4 months

@l_rhodsie Interim Chancellor Lee Roberts is leading a team of law enforcment officers towards the flag pole.

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3 years

@Chinchillazllla this isn’t really a new type of guy. this is just a european

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1 year

@thomas_violence Not sure I understand this investment strategy where you buy something and then never sell it

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5 years

@1followernodad

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@bart_smith

5 years

My dad called me at 9:00 last night wanting me “to go on the internet and find out how he could get in touch with Steven Spielberg”

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1 year

@SamuelAAdams of course though, everybody doing the kicking is being far too pedantic and is aware that nobody literally means everybody or nobody when they use "everybody" or "nobody"

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4 years

@alex_abads finally a instance where somebody should have just posted a black square

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4 years

@MilesKlee restaurants have been reopened here for a couple of weeks now and really it’s just made me hesitant to even get takeout from them

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4 years

@PJVogt I'm going to start clapping at the end of a successful Zoom call like being on an airplane that has safely landed

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6 years

@CarmineSabia A whole lot of other people being wrong doesn’t make you right, Carmine

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6 years

@hels a lectern is the thing you stand at, a podium the thing you stand on

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1 year

@KrangTNelson @BobbyBigWheel this guy (pictured wearing scrubs and stethoscope) is very adamant about how he is not trying to deceive people into thinking he's a doctor

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1 year

@MarkHarrisNYC He talks about this in his netflix special … being mistaken as Jewish by everybody, not you specifically

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1 year

@jbouie as if most bud light consumers haven't at least once drank so much they didn't know which restroom to use

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11 months

@alex_abads too soon to say yet that they’re going to stop doing that

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4 years

@jm_boehle @midwestspitfire it seems to keep happening. chris pratt must just be really busy these days

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4 years

weird that they didn’t get rob lowe or chris pratt for this

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8 years

The difference between Chelsea's and Ivanka's introduction speeches is that Chelsea described a person who actually exists

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5 years

Disappointed that nobody's going to show up wearing, like, a tent or something

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1 year

@AGoldmund as somebody who grew up farm adjacent and as a kid watched the breech birth delivery of a calf, my guess is something like that

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10 months

@rachelmillman what’s the count on “it wouldn’t have gone down like that if I were there”

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4 years

@ChloeTeboe @newscentermaine I don’t feel good about this elderly woman having to take a job that might literally kill her

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1 year

@chrislhayes so much for unwavering

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3 years

this picture

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3 years

@minakimes

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2 years

@allisongeroi Though by Kessler's own reasoning, you shouldn't take that as truth without confirming the information with a second source

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6 years

@johncardillo @Ocasio2018 buddy, if you think the electoral college can prevent a completely unqualified and dangerous candidate from becoming president wait until you find out about the 2016 election

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5 months

@TheMonkeyJungle @notnotnuanced ran across this blue checkmark guy a while back who just completely missed that you’re supposed to set it up

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5 years

@AlannaBennett Like if Keanu Reeves were dating Kate Beckinsale, would nearly as many people be talking about it being an age appropriate relationship?

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1 year

@kenklippenstein anonymity is especially important here because I wouldn’t want anybody to know that I worked on bill maher’s show

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4 years

Matt Schlapp giving Trump coronavirus would be the absolutely funniest end to the American era

Colby Itkowitz

@ColbyItkowitz

4 years

CPAC chairman Matt Schlapp tells me he interacted with attendee who has tested positive for coronavirus. While the timeline is unknown, Schlapp shook Trump's hand on stage the last day of the conference.

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2 years

@TwitterSupport it’s convenient that no one paying elon musk $11 a month could ever be “bad actors”

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1 year

@barry Ice-T as well

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1 year

oh no

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2 years

@alex_abads though it reminds me of one of the more chaotic things I’ve seen

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@bart_smith

6 years

A woman at this coffee shop just stopped working on her laptop, went out to her car, changed into a pair of sneakers, and then went for a run, leaving her laptop, wallet, notebooks, and bag just sitting all out on the table

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9 days

@flglmn one thing that surprised me after reading some more detail on the story is that the restaurant isn't even owned/operated by Disney, it's just some other restaurant that rents the space at the resort from Disney

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11 months

@notbigracks not sure that even counts as prediction when it was mentioned it the nytimes story about the acquisition

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1 year

@Eve6 global warming has to be enough of a problem that we desperately need to do something about it, but not too big of a problem that it can't be solved simply by buying cars

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5 years

@AlannaBennett How much of it is just that she has gray/white hair?

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4 months

@youwouldntpost how demoralizing it must be for cybertruck owners to watch their pretend truck be carried away by a real truck

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4 years

@themhartman in the land of the gay, the one-armed man is king . . . or something, I guess

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1 year

@KrangTNelson they’re catering to a very narrow demographic: people who still have a dvd player

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5 years

I don't have a soundcloud, but since everyone keeps tweeting at me to say this is a more sanitary way of blowing out candles, it doesn't really matter

Blowing Out Birthday Candles Increases Cake Bacteria by 1,400 Percent

But it’s okay, really!

www.theatlantic.com

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5 years

It’s only a matter of time before either Fast & Furious or Mission: Impossible heads to space and it’s just a question of who gets there first

Polygon

@Polygon

5 years

The writer of the Fast & Furious movies tells Polygon that going to space is ‘not out out of the question’:

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3 months

@Cam_Oflage bad news for that guy

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3 years

@alex_abads now I feel like there's probably a 25% chance she's in an upcoming episode of hawkeye

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4 years

@SenTedCruz If you think this is bad, wait until you find out about all the child beauty pageants that have been happening in Texas

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6 years

@rachelmillman I sat at an intersection for a good minute waiting for a stop SIGN to turn green

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7 years

@evepeyser

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8 months

@broderick @katienotopoulos I'd love to know if mr beast is paying for that ad or if twitter is doing it because elon wants to juice the numbers to show how effective advertising can be for influencers

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2 years

@NateSilver538 the replies to your original tweet is full of people taking that as proof the lab leak theory was correct and calling for journalists to be jailed, so you should be able to see why people might have been hesitant to report on the possibility of a lab leak without any evidence

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4 years

new salamander dropped

NC has a new species. Meet Carolina Sandhills salamander

At 63 different types of salamanders, North Carolina already has more than any other state in the U.S. However, just in time for the holiday season, the Sandhills region has added one more to the...

www.wral.com

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2 years

@SarahNEmerson can't believe that person went to 7 years of medical school to be called Mr Cheese and not Dr Cheese

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2 years

would love to have sat in on the meeting where they decided the wording of this tweet was the respectful way to handle this

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3 years

@darth Once you pointed out that error, they had no choice but to delete the tweet

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3 months

@TheTumboy @no_good_wyfe also, most of the people claiming to have watched the Challenger explosion live at school are lying

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9 months

and what kind of books are twitter users recommending

Lazar Radic

@laz_radic

9 months

The end of the world.

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3 months

@MNateShyamalan

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8 years

. @mike_pence

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9 months

@izziejree sydney sweeney and lori lightfoot are basically the same in that they’re both always dressed in ill-fitting clothes

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5 years

My dad called me at 9:00 last night wanting me “to go on the internet and find out how he could get in touch with Steven Spielberg”

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3 months

@rudetoonsart

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2 years

@BrandyLJensen and you gotta figure new orleans has more creepy attics than average american city

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2 years

@MilesKlee he’s going to try to turn off all the legacy verified blue checkmarks and it’s going to inadvertently delete all those accounts from twitter

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