@bigmeedicine
I’ve played poker long enough to realize there are hands you were never supposed to win (all of them). People have to let you. Either because they like you or they hate you. Someone has to fold.
Someone has to chase their losses and feed the pot. The table decides the winner
@fitnessfeelingz
Catching an 8 hour flight out to Wisconsin to hit up the 35 year old gas station cashier and make her my wife so I can impress the washed up hipster
I remember when I was young I had dreams of getting into politics and changing the world for the better. That may not be a possibility anymore but I can still make life better for others by not being a dick to them.
People start treating you like an invalid after you turn 30 if you haven’t done anything or gotten married. Am I just supposed to play poker till I die? What are we doing here?
Imagine flying six hours to Nebraska to hit on some of the middest 35-year old women this country has ever produced just to impress a guy who said living in graveyards would solve the housing crisis.
Here's my advice to single American men who feel hopeless about ever finding a good woman to marry:
Take a month or two between jobs and drive across the USA. Stop at every gas station and truck stop, and eat every meal at diners during non-rush hours. Avoid cities; stop
Flying out to another city to have sex with someone who works at a gas station isn’t a new idea. Gay guys do it all the time. Why do you think Spirit Airlines is a thing?
You can go to a diner anywhere in this country but only in Vegas are you allowed to smoke inside. Steak and eggs and a cigarette with coffee sounds like a gay tom waits song but this was totally normal 50 years ago.
“These eggs are so good. Did you fry these?”
“We don’t fry them. We steam them in bags.”
“Oh so there’s plastic in them.”
(Laughs) “No. There’s no plastic in them.”
Me:
One day I’ll quit this job and ride trains around the country and stay in motels and fall in love with gas station workers and eat at waffle house and sleep in cemeteries and it will be beautiful.
The new Bioshock game will be set in a 1960s Antarctic city called Borealis, according to an old job listing
Another listing indicates the game will be open-world
Saw the
@wigger
show in LA saturday. Felt like the last chopper out of Vietnam. Comedy is REAL again. Sam, Nick and Charles are at the top of their game and I hope they do more shows. Love you guys.