Hare @arbolantidote Twitter profile

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@arbolantidote

2 months

A great realignment is happening

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Hare

@arbolantidote

2 months

Sam Hyde getting arrested by a female cop is just poetic. Free my man

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@arbolantidote

24 days

@bigmeedicine I’ve played poker long enough to realize there are hands you were never supposed to win (all of them). People have to let you. Either because they like you or they hate you. Someone has to fold. Someone has to chase their losses and feed the pot. The table decides the winner

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@arbolantidote

2 months

@LandsharkRides I do think its cute when thomas posts photos of his hotel rooms and is just mind blown by the accommodations

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@arbolantidote

26 days

Got a call from the dermatologist RESULTS ARE BENIGN NO SKIN CANCER

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@arbolantidote

3 months

@GodCloseMyEyes Anyone with a name from 200 hundred years ago is black

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@arbolantidote

2 months

My normies

garfieldbot

@robertlasagna1

2 months

we had a group of indian customers at work for a week and I have never seen my normies more racist

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@arbolantidote

1 month

Getting railroaded by HR because one of these chicks didn’t like your vibe

Cabana Boy 🌴

@Alkibiades_

1 month

Is this the longhouse?

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@arbolantidote

2 months

@fitnessfeelingz Catching an 8 hour flight out to Wisconsin to hit up the 35 year old gas station cashier and make her my wife so I can impress the washed up hipster

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@arbolantidote

2 months

lmao

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@arbolantidote

19 days

Carrying this around like I’m in fallout

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@arbolantidote

3 months

Pint of ice cream and a cigarette

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@arbolantidote

3 months

Just make the entire country a UNESCO site or wildlife preserve

𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚎𝚜

@718Tv

3 months

The Japanese will be an endangered species by the 2050s

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@arbolantidote

1 month

I remember when I was young I had dreams of getting into politics and changing the world for the better. That may not be a possibility anymore but I can still make life better for others by not being a dick to them.

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@arbolantidote

2 months

Got blocked by a twink on father’s day

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@arbolantidote

1 month

Dating app for losers called Fumble

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@arbolantidote

2 months

Kings

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@arbolantidote

3 months

@KThor21 Using bad words is what a child thinks a grown-up is supposed to do. All goes back to the stunted development of the redditor

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@arbolantidote

2 months

Going to 7-11

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@arbolantidote

2 months

@brainenergy4me That means you’re on the right track

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@arbolantidote

2 months

This made me break down in a diner fuck

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@arbolantidote

2 months

Everybody in Vegas got tinted windows but it’s got nothing to do with the heat

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@arbolantidote

21 days

I no longer have days off. Only hours. I love America. They sell caffeinated lemonade at the gas stations.

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@arbolantidote

13 days

@bigmeedicine

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@arbolantidote

10 days

BREAKING: X is planning to remove the ability to log in

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@arbolantidote

2 months

Jumpscare

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@arbolantidote

3 months

Weezer still holds up idc

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@arbolantidote

3 months

I just wanna be happy bro

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@arbolantidote

14 days

Somebody in 2007 is losing their mind over this

Horned Sphere

@Horned_Sphere

14 days

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17 days

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@arbolantidote

3 months

At what age do you start to chill out?

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@arbolantidote

3 months

This is what “biohacking” means btw

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@arbolantidote

27 days

@T3MaxxiAlt No you guys don’t understand. This heroine is for so I can reach HOMEOSTASIS

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@arbolantidote

1 month

Mexicans gotta be my favorite ethnicity hands down. Easy to get along with, good food and if things get hairy you can always trick them with a riddle.

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@arbolantidote

27 days

@lindynap That’s why you can lie about it on a resume

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@arbolantidote

2 months

They turned the old pizza hut from my hometown into a mexican restaurant

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@arbolantidote

25 days

People start treating you like an invalid after you turn 30 if you haven’t done anything or gotten married. Am I just supposed to play poker till I die? What are we doing here?

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@arbolantidote

2 months

There Will Be Blood is the American epic.

𝕸𝖆𝖈𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖔𝖘𝖍

@DonMacint0sh

2 months

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@arbolantidote

3 months

What was a good job for a neurotic gay guy in the 1950s?

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@arbolantidote

15 days

You guys wanna see a cloud?

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@arbolantidote

3 months

@CrownedCaribou He traveled all the way from Geidi Prime to serve you

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@arbolantidote

3 months

Trump needs to come out against this

Superb J-Cups 🔆

@DommeBillington

3 months

Three years difference God Christ lol

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@arbolantidote

2 months

@LandsharkRides I wish I could find brothers as simply as this, Mr Landshark but I am too retarded

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@arbolantidote

27 days

“Can you please turn off your bluetooth speaker?”

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@arbolantidote

2 months

This is where I tweet from

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@arbolantidote

2 months

Silly

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Hare

@arbolantidote

3 months

We used to build things in this country

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@arbolantidote

2 months

Imagine flying six hours to Nebraska to hit on some of the middest 35-year old women this country has ever produced just to impress a guy who said living in graveyards would solve the housing crisis.

𝙷𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚖𝚊𝚗

@shagbark_hick

2 months

Here's my advice to single American men who feel hopeless about ever finding a good woman to marry: Take a month or two between jobs and drive across the USA. Stop at every gas station and truck stop, and eat every meal at diners during non-rush hours. Avoid cities; stop

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@arbolantidote

16 days

This is what I look like when I’m happy

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@arbolantidote

1 month

Well now we know what they talked about

The Daily Beast

@thedailybeast

1 month

A House Democrat says a heavyweight group of “super friends” is being assembled to head to the White House and tell Biden it’s time to go.

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@arbolantidote

28 days

Paying an immigrant to be depressed for me

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@arbolantidote

2 months

Plant Parenthood 🏳️‍🌈🥥🌴

@19eightytwomatt

2 months

DFW is by far the largest US metro area with virtually zero cultural relevance or attractiveness to tourists.

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@arbolantidote

2 months

Flying out to another city to have sex with someone who works at a gas station isn’t a new idea. Gay guys do it all the time. Why do you think Spirit Airlines is a thing?

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@arbolantidote

21 days

@churrascooooo Californication but lame

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@arbolantidote

2 months

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@arbolantidote

3 months

You can go to a diner anywhere in this country but only in Vegas are you allowed to smoke inside. Steak and eggs and a cigarette with coffee sounds like a gay tom waits song but this was totally normal 50 years ago.

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@arbolantidote

15 days

This world was built for me (dumb person)

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@arbolantidote

1 month

my favorite Bukowski poem.

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@arbolantidote

12 days

This exact guy shows up in every decade. Timeless physiognomy

Pop Base

@PopBase

12 days

Conan Gray looks handsome in newly shared photo.

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@arbolantidote

20 days

Costco is ghetto now

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@arbolantidote

19 days

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@arbolantidote

2 months

@thom_ivy_1 The ones on the right are just eastern european

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@arbolantidote

28 days

@Horned_Sphere DJ

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@arbolantidote

2 months

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@arbolantidote

2 months

In other news 😏

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@arbolantidote

2 months

@proudincel The cashiers number

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@arbolantidote

2 months

The cure to mental illness is having a job

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@arbolantidote

1 month

Double texting Triple texting I am losing my mind

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@arbolantidote

1 month

Gambling is a skill. The more time you put it into it the more likely you are to get a huge payout. I unironically believe this.

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@arbolantidote

1 month

@slumzog That is a dude

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@arbolantidote

2 months

You pay a spiritual price walking into dollar tree

Peaty Meals

@PeatyMeals

2 months

“Healthy food is so expensive” 👇 $1.25 at dollar tree

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@arbolantidote

3 months

“Say it.” “You run the show.”

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@arbolantidote

3 months

Martin Erlic

@SeloSlav

3 months

@henkboogaart014 Who's Calvin Harris?

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@arbolantidote

19 days

Lock in

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@arbolantidote

2 months

Tiny bottle of clover honey shaped like a bear that I carry with me everywhere

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@arbolantidote

2 months

Imagine eating frosted flakes in this

Archaeology & Art

@archaeologyart

2 months

Bowl: Crab. Date: 2nd–4th century. Geography: Peru. Culture: Nasca. Medium: Ceramic. Dimensions: H. 2 7/8 × W. 8 1/4 × D. 8 1/4 in. (7.3 × 21 × 21 cm)

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@arbolantidote

2 months

Doing a welfare check on John Waters be like

Horned Sphere

@Horned_Sphere

2 months

Met a 600 year old vampire in Baltimore

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@arbolantidote

2 months

@brainenergy4me @awnthego I got a whole trilogy under my belt

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@arbolantidote

21 days

Leaning in to my stupidity at work has benefited me exponentially. Nothing is expected of me. I just float.

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@arbolantidote

3 months

What did people do before antidepressants?

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@arbolantidote

2 months

“These eggs are so good. Did you fry these?” “We don’t fry them. We steam them in bags.” “Oh so there’s plastic in them.” (Laughs) “No. There’s no plastic in them.” Me:

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@arbolantidote

2 months

@raypeatfan Real

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@arbolantidote

1 month

One day I’ll quit this job and ride trains around the country and stay in motels and fall in love with gas station workers and eat at waffle house and sleep in cemeteries and it will be beautiful.

MythoAmerica 🌲

@MythoAmerica

1 month

goodnight ☾

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@arbolantidote

18 days

I had a hard enough time connecting with people before all this. The only thing that’s changed is now I know who John Maus is.

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@arbolantidote

3 months

Trump will be the last guy every single person on Earth will remember.

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@arbolantidote

3 months

Stone Age Herbalist

@Paracelsus1092

3 months

Post some pictures you think exemplify the 'Apollonian', even abstractly.

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@arbolantidote

1 month

Dexerto

@Dexerto

1 month

The new Bioshock game will be set in a 1960s Antarctic city called Borealis, according to an old job listing Another listing indicates the game will be open-world

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@arbolantidote

2 months

Pride may be ending but I’ll still post prime rib

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@arbolantidote

1 month

It wasn’t DNA running down his face…. It was USA

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@arbolantidote

27 days

Everything is so ugly. This is why men disappear after a certain age.

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@arbolantidote

18 days

Some people drink their problems away. Not me

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@arbolantidote

2 months

115°

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@arbolantidote

3 months

Not trying to be they/them historian but I’m pretty sure somebody got top from another dude on the mayflower

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@arbolantidote

1 month

The poor mans sauna

Lt Kijé

@gracklebirder1

1 month

Trying a new workout where I just sit in the car and sweat #5ML

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@arbolantidote

3 months

More American than Americans

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@arbolantidote

2 months

Saw the @wigger show in LA saturday. Felt like the last chopper out of Vietnam. Comedy is REAL again. Sam, Nick and Charles are at the top of their game and I hope they do more shows. Love you guys.