Helen Bach @andshewasgone1 Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

5 months

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

12

668

3K

Last Seen Profiles

@PashteDinesh

@t_a_comeaux

@ArsenalHarmoni

@oroch_loop

@Georg1aGTerz1

@ferrari955

@gtryan

@Yiaatoo1

@AmisMaath

@ruting83306678

@Viru_karnawat

@steve_tadelis

@TutorialNJS

@brookecandy

@Muzi_moss

@ketlens_

@Amirrwilsonn

@naruti06

@AntPadOfficial

@mmd43416977

@empty_cloud7

@Ynw_loso

@Mayabagsby

@tadgriffin_

@Zaki_0800

@meeyamarie

@AmiraFigue48682

@asgardfi

@KldAms

@sahary_resort

@BTWsanctuary

@Ore_Yusuf

@CoachASmith3

@iquischnox

@ciaoregino

@2c0845G8YWq4v27

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

4 months

That awkward moment when you're not sure if you actually have free time or if you're just forgetting everything.

24

8K

48K

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

5 months

My death will probably be caused by being sarcastic at the wrong time.

13

789

4K

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

4 months

Some people should use a glue stick instead of Chapstick.

12

583

4K

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

5 years

Your beard is sexy and all but can you pay your bills?

211

750

2K

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

Fuck Netflix and chill. How about chicken wings and gin rummy?

99

1K

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

I'm old school. I'm motivated by a slap on my ass.

40

141

1K

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

5 years

I miss the days when cereal companies actually put prizes in the cereal boxes.

54

205

986

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

So I adopted a bunny today ❤ everyone meet Mr. Whiskers.

91

98

790

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Weird how the paranormal investigators always assume the ghosts speak English.

38

173

675

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

I'll take a case, please.

16

125

527

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

6 years

Might fuck around and fall into something complicated

24

104

443

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Ever wake up and you're already tired of the bullshit?

22

97

440

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Wanted: someone to slap my ass and tell me I'm doing a good job as I bake brownies.

34

67

389

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

Sex so good that he fucks every one of my personalities.

12

62

388

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

I do this cute thing where I keep my mouth shut about other people's business.

12

100

392

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Men with beards are very persuasive.

34

78

360

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Find you someone who gets this.

28

79

359

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

Maybe I shouldn't have gotten the supreme combo at Taco Bell.

34

62

350

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

5 months

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn't that dirty after all.

4

57

363

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Finally! 😈

9

77

332

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

If you date me, they become OUR Daddy issues.

19

77

309

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

It's not that I faked an orgasm. I simply re-enacted one that I had from the past.

17

67

300

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

At this point, I'm down for anything.

17

71

288

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Ima lose my shit if someone doesn't figure out a way to stop that first squirt of watery mustard.

66

52

282

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

5 years

Might fuck around and slowly decay inside.

13

77

253

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

*me as a stripper on stage Yes, I can break a dollar.

17

91

275

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

5 months

Sometimes it physically hurts me to hold in all these sarcastic comments.

19

109

267

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Did you ever wish they would just pop up in your dm to say hello?

43

46

235

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Mmmm....sounds delicious.

21

57

229

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

*sages the entire fucking world

4

102

208

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Never underestimate the power of an ass slap and a chin grab kiss.

5

66

202

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

Might fuck around and find that one special asshole who will treat me like shit.

20

41

200

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

I get it Wal-Mart yoga pants, I'm also cheap and see-through.

6

62

199

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

5 years

A curious heart always gets hurt.

4

82

198

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Whoa. Slow down anxiety. I'm gonna be up for hours. Let's spread this out all day so I don't enjoy a thing.

6

71

193

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

He puts the king in fucking

8

52

180

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

Him: I'm gonna break down your walls. Me: They're load bearing.

7

66

185

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Normalize having fat ass energy.

6

69

181

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

I would be competitive too but I'm lazy and don't give a fuck.

6

70

183

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

It's the little things that mean so much to an overthinker.

3

90

182

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

5 years

So you can make your ass clap. Big deal. My boobs can render you hopeless.

16

19

166

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Oh you wanna talk shit about Red Lobster not being fancy? I grew up with Wendy's having a sunroom in their dining room. Now that was fancy as fuck.

11

38

178

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

I miss feeling safe and easy going.

4

56

171

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Welcome to your forties, where your "fuck me pumps" are now your "fuck me orthotics".

8

49

172

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Stop putting sage into body wash. My vagina don't need to be smelling like a Thanksgiving turkey.

20

55

168

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Hop in loser. We're riding my emotional rollercoaster.

9

80

172

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Woke up at 6 am. Made coffee and plotted my revenge.

7

54

160

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

We all have that one friend who is morally corrupt but is the most fun to be around.

10

53

163

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

5 months

I'm sorry I had anxiety from having anxiety about my anxiety.

11

75

170

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

If you DON'T put your fries in the other side of your open Big Mac container then you're bad at sex.

15

41

157

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

I'm sincerely addicted to not giving a shit.

9

70

161

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Nothing judges you harder than a cat staring at you.

8

64

162

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

This mental breakdown really brings out my eyes.

2

76

161

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Me dealing with the world's bullshit today.

1

43

157

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

5 years

I don't want to upset you but fuck it, I'm already talking.

1

51

144

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

I hesitated merging into traffic so I live here now.

2

52

151

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

I hope the cold butter rips your bread slice.

16

67

151

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

Yes I have doubts. Like, I doubt I will ever get my shit together.

6

59

149

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

4

61

143

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Big shout out to the women who wear out the inner thighs of their jeans.

4

50

150

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

5 months

Who let the bag of idiots open?

13

37

147

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Guys who buy you salty chips, chocolate and tampons are hot as fuck.

11

33

143

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Me and the boyfriend enjoying our beautiful Saturday ❤

10

30

141

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Found Waldo's jealous, unpopular sister.

7

50

137

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

What are you waiting for? She's yours to take.

10

33

131

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Of course I'm sexy asf. I have Daddy AND Step Daddy issues.

3

33

137

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Are we still doing things for shits and giggles?

25

47

131

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

5 years

Facebook...where you brag about your wife. Twitter...where your wife brags about getting anal.

14

32

117

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Pro tip: it's quicker to fuck than it is to fight about not fucking

10

41

133

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Omg Omg omg!! Check this out!! *bends over in a sundress Riiiight???

11

44

131

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Off to make poor life decisions.

7

40

137

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

Additional parking in rear.

12

31

128

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

It's going to take an exorcism for me get out of these skinny jeans.

7

46

131

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

Bugs Bunny taught me about love, acceptance, gender equality, patience, art, classical music, empathy, forgiveness and compassion all in one episode.

5

46

128

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

Wait...so I'm up all night to get lucky and not because of my crippling anxiety?

3

47

128

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

I made a sundress from your red flags.

2

56

132

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Do me a favor....act surprised when I lose my shit.

1

64

127

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

5 months

Not to brag but I haven't had a mood swing in like 7 minutes.

5

56

131

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

6 years

This donut tastes like the right decision. And the 2nd one will taste even better. The third donut will taste a little sad, and the 4th one will taste like regret. The 5th one though, that'll taste like fuck it.

11

33

124

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Normalize side ass cheek like side boob.

4

42

118

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

I am, we bought our concert t-shirt at the actual concert and not at Kohl's, years old.

4

55

128

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Boss: Why are you late? Me: Sorry, I was in my driveway trying to find the right song so I could leave for work.

6

55

126

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

I'm frying bacon in a tank top if you're looking for someone who's brave.

13

31

116

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

I made peanut butter fudge brownies. Can I join your gang now? *me as a thug

13

47

126

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

I could make things happen from the couch! You don't know.

3

49

114

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Me and my pushup bra will be asserting our dominance today.

6

34

113

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

3 years

Not to brag but I'm a recipe for disaster.

1

59

118

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

I just drank a cup of freeze dried coffee and ate a stale donut like some 1950's detective.

8

45

116

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Everybody's showing pics of how they're drinking their coffee in front of beautiful sunrises, off their gorgeous decks and here I'm drinking my coffee in front of a sink full of last night dishes.

11

46

114

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1

2 years

Nothing and I mean nothing compares to that soft crackling sound you hear when you first drop the needle on a record.

11

51

115

Helen Bach

@andshewasgone1