smallest church @_smallestchurch Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

smallest church

5 months

i once again find myself feeling terrified to post because nobody asked for this, but here we are: Fast Car, a modern gentlebeard AU

21

247

Last Seen Profiles

@AI_girlfriend_

@KVoteStore

@I_S_R_G

@Creamy_fakefood

@hhootaibi

@asterism_books

@abude2025

@Gen_SSB

@LakishaJackson

@hbbg

@dontcallmyn4me

@mbougeard

@drazhaq

@OfficialNFLShop

@4242kumo

@k6rm6

@halfmoonpoem

@pomssum

@skatebirb

@yibitobaby

@jandakembangstw

@A_hidden_acc

@hersimmar

@riancibaru_real

@Re_srio

@danijarh

@Matias_misael

@_AngelWorld

@Gaziantepevli0

@sexyaceshao

@kumosuki_ch

@_Chloe_Long

@GhostEsports

@RuthAwad

@seiya_inoue4

@seadotexe

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

1 year

his job is Beach

4

401

2K

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

normal stuff why

cats being weird little guys 👅

@weirdlilguys

9 months

hey what’s your beautiful cat doing right now

1K

240

4K

8

102

2K

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

4 months

Stone Cold Jane Austen

@AbbyHiggs

4 months

Does bisexual means twice as sexual or once every other sexual

412

10K

85K

2

261

2K

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

10 months

ur in her dms, im appearing to her as a mermaid in a vision that heals her inner child and restores her will 2 live

6

242

1K

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

10 months

i’m going to throw up

42

7

890

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

8 months

every time i look at this i start laughing again this man is a cartoon character

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

8 months

accidentally perfect pause

4

0

163

2

42

782

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

11 months

sorry. sorry but the funniest joke in the whole show is playing the teaser on daytime cable news television

3

77

738

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

it’s been really nice to see coverage go from “womp flag cancelled” to “fans upset flag cancelled, alas” to “fans want you to sign this petition to save flag and i am a little scared of them”

16

157

728

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

10 months

#OFMD2Spoilers the other thing i can't stop thinking about is how natural and confident and perfect rubio's Zhang Yi Sao is, like she slots in so perfectly i kept forgetting she hasn't been here the whole time

8

39

602

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

2 years

it’s a slow day and ed’s head is in stede’s lap on deck ed: would you still love me if i was a worm stede: of course i would, darling ed: what about if we met when we were kids, then spent a few decades apart and found each other again. what then stede: easy. i’d love you again

6

69

585

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

1 year

can't believe you guys didn't notice

3

72

570

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

but if I'M gay twitter and YOU'RE gay twitter then who's driving the gilded age??

16

98

565

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

10 months

“what’s the worst thing yr favorite character has done” unlicensed midwifery, why

10

52

547

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

5 months

😒😒😒

Betty Botticelli

@Faungirl123

5 months

Romance is not dead, but I bet I can kill it.

18

89

349

1

131

509

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

s3 opening to rhythmic strained whiny grunts and a close up of ed's face in something like pain, stede's forehead at the nape of his neck, pan out to see ed trying to screw the short side to the ikea bed to the long side while stede is pushing it up against the wall

5

42

489

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

max opening my 349th email about how they ought to #SaveOFMD #RenewAsACrew

2

88

489

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

10 months

making a shirt that says IT'S NOT CRINGE IT'S CAMP

15

79

487

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

10 months

ok wow well thanks @david_jenkins__ for insisting i get my phone out for a photo you were right it was a good choice

36

17

480

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

ur in her dms i'm being lovingly poison-trained in her household we are not the same

1

102

439

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

and neither have we #saveOFMD #RenewAsACrew

1

131

427

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

7 months

i think the reason this is all so reminiscent of a breakup is because i'm scared i'll never get to feel this way again

29

45

415

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

10 months

listen i'm probably not gonna have time to write it but just picture ed looking stede straight in the eyes and flicking his little bell

13

19

410

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

just picturing them in A Meeting being like ready watch he's gonna post a selfie, you won't believe what happens when he posts a selfie, it's nuts, go ahead man, yeah, hit post, do it

7

62

390

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

7 months

writing an epistolary fic where stede's sending emails and letters to the support line to uncancel his favorite show and ed is the only rep to break from script and respond personally #saveofmd

31

37

386

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

i just hope david’s feeling all that love

8

13

378

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

here’s what i woke up thinking. the longer i sit with it the more i feel like this was a Nothing Is As It Seems season. the soup lady is a pirate and hornigold is here/alive and stede is a mermaid and the rabbit is a wolf and buttons is a bird and

2

18

378

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

sorry--sorry, just popping back in and ... did a guy with no kids .... win a DILF-off?? i can't be reading this right

13

15

378

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

10 months

it is nuts to me how much show they cram into 30 minutes

12

13

373

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

not now honey the lube brand is watching my stories

1

57

372

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

if we get a season 3 can we not air it at 3am because i think it made us all a scoche stress-deranged

20

33

355

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

10 months

"YOU GOT ON A TRAIN TO COME SEE ME AND YOURE NOT EVEN GONNA TAKE A PHOTO" he shouted while taking three selfies with his phone. anyway he’s a gem

8

10

353

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

wow saw the cast posting about the billboard and simply burst into tears. excellent work kids

9

14

332

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

4 months

oh my god it’s here i am losing my shit

25

6

315

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

7 months

if you’re a lurker coming out of hiding let’s be friends please i have a cute cat and i know how to make dinner

35

12

306

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

1 month

if you are fat and even THINKING about covering up during this heat bomb or whatever let me be the first to say: fuck that, let them gouge out their eyes

20

59

302

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

#saveofmd #RenewAsACrew

bri love🇵🇸

@mclovenxoxo

6 months

she’s a 10 but she says “hell yeah brother” in a hulk hogan voice

742

8K

61K

5

67

295

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

7 months

DID I STEP AWAY FOR AN HOUR AND YALL RAISED 10K WTF

18

13

285

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

"billboards have been done before" you're right, that's why we should never do or try anything ever again, time to go stick my head in the toilet

10

32

274

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

2 years

ed: fine, what if i were, i dunno. a vampire. and you were a werewolf stede: edward ed: you’d make a cute werewolf. you have dog energy stede: but i like cats ed: i know. i have cat energy stede: what does that even mean, dearest ed: … meow

10

9

264

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

5 months

never forget that @StreamOnMax just drove a yacht full of money up to her fucken castle

Thomas Willett

@ThomasWillett9

5 months

JK Rowling could have used her platform to celebrate mothers and the incredible act of raising a child, but no, she decided to be hateful instead.

2K

748

9K

4

39

261

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

3 months

not pickles is one year old today, what a fun way to remember the og graphic had a typo. writing this genuinely changed my life, i’m so grateful you were all here with me for it.

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

1 year

in an effort to be better at Participating, I have written a neighbors AU for this prompt: not pickles Stede's kids are creepy and Louis has a puppet obsession and a fascination with Dickfuck (Ed's cat) and Ed's just trying to figure out What Makes Ed Happy. :)

6

53

34

15

257

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

4 months

since we're sharing, i got the telescope 🫡

21

4

243

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

i keep thinkin about ep 5, about "that wasn't a long story at all." i don't think it's because Stede didn't want to be annoying, I think it's because he spends every episode trying to have a real conversation with Ed, he's sick of them just telling stories. he wants to TALK

2

7

246

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

4 months

so you’re telling me Lucius WASN’T fantastic at breakups?????

5

20

245

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

he was a man who created nothing, learned nothing, loved nothing, contributed nothing to this world. may history forget him expeditiously. do me a solid and pour one out tonight. down your throat while you're celebrating. i love you 💛

42

0

236

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

haven't seen anyone say it and it's a tiny thing but whenever i see the afterglow robe in this specific color i think of ed underwater. on his way, but not there yet, ya know?

4

21

235

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

8 months

samba seems like such a cool and kind and sweet and generous guy, to the fans, to his colleagues, like, wow, if i had a hype man like that in my life i would be fucken invincible

1

12

223

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

10 months

i don't want to alarm you, but, guess what's finished 🥹🚫🥒😭

45

20

221

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

2 months

listen everything zaslav’s done has been bad but giving money to rowling at this moment in history is beyond unconscionable, a clear red line. #dontstreamonmax #firedavidzaslav #saveofmd

0

89

220

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

i can feel it coming in the ass tonight oh lord

11

25

212

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

(cw death) for the past two hours i have been sort of walking around and crying and talking to myself and hugging my cat because i periodically google to see if my stepfather is alive and today it turned out that he, in fact, IS NOT

21

1

213

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

today's my birthday and i wanted to post a story for you like last year but it didn't come together in time and i'm gonna go see a movie instead of fighting it. in the meantime, here's my face which is now 39 human years old. i hope you're all having the best day. 💛

79

0

204

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

2 months

look me in the eyes and tell me this devious lad wouldn't carry the most upsetting puppet you've ever seen

moosh 🧜🏼‍♂️ RCCC🌹

@ofmooshd

2 months

new alma and louis content in the year of our lord 2024??

5

39

356

11

16

206

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

2 years

ed: ok what if we were beekeepers stede: oh! that sounds lovely! and we’d get to enjoy all that delicious honey ed: what if i was a writer. and you were one of my characters and i fell in love with you stede: easy, you could write me to love you. even tho i would anyway

2

5

199

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

5 months

i want to fight. like with my fists

9

23

195

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

just sitting here not working and thinking and i don't think it's an insignificant detail that as stede starts to lose the thread and go feral in his popularity, his crew start to leave him #ofmds2spoilers

4

5

194

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

4 months

it's always the best day when twitter rediscovers that conan obrien is one of the funniest motherfuckers to walk this miserable earth. i feel so lucky to have been shaped by the writings and ramblings of his brilliant and deranged mind

16

14

192

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

3 months

okay i have a question all my bookstore colleagues are doing. if you were jesus and people ate something for your body and drank something for your blood what would it be

121

7

189

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

8 months

hi from the world famous not pickles fire tower

15

2

186

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

27 days

completed a whole ass original novel and am pitching agents to sell it have i mentioned this i can't remember if i mentioned it anyway it's 100% because of this place

Adopt Our Crew | #AdoptOurCrew

@adoptourcrew

27 days

Leaving your family to become a pirate. Shaving your beard. Embracing your true self. Even positive changes can be scary - just ask our favorite pirates! How has #OurFlagMeansDeath inspired you to try something new or make a positive change in your life? #OurFlagMeansPride

1

7

61

10

2

183

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

imagine the bathtub crying scene but the whole time a cat is staring at them like this 🧿🧿 #PetsForPirates #SaveOFMD

8

20

179

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

5 months

they might be boyfriends but they're also not pickles. if you even care

12

4

179

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

2 years

ed: what if we were something super normal. professors, say stede: oh i think that sounds fun! listening to you get all passionate about your subject. plus we’d get to spend lots of time in libraries. plenty of potential there ed: stede! stede: i meant for reading!

1

2

178

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

2 months

hey 👋🏼

21

1

178

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

2 years

ed: what if we lived in new york city stede: well, i’d feel so lucky showing you off to all those people ed: we’d live in a tiny room, probably stede: we already live in a tiny room a laugh, a kiss

1

2

175

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

5 months

D ░ E ░ A ░ D ░ ░ D ░ O ░ V ░ E ░ ░ I ░ N ░ ░ B ░ A ░ G

1

58

174

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

26 days

in 2016 on election day i was in buenos aires and stayed up all fucking night in horror and the next day as i wandered around zombie-like each time someone realized i was american i got a gentle hug and a "oh sweetie it's your first dictator, don't worry it gets much worse"

12

7

176

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

11 months

gilbert

@memetazaa

11 months

born to say "yippiiiieeee" forced to say "that's awesome bro"

7

366

2K

0

24

175

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

fellas on saturday i am visiting a WOLF SANCTUARY i’m so excited

7

3

173

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

10 months

being afraid of bisexual people is so stupid, we're literally all depressed

6

20

170

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

2 years

ed: what if i was a chef stede: i already love your cooking ed: ok what if i was the rich one and you were my tailor stede: now you’re just listing jobs, darling. i’d love you no matter what job you had!

2

170

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

i wrote all the worst things he said to me on a piece of paper and burned it in the fireplace and now i am going to talk to some pasta about it. you’re all very kind to me and i’m grateful

2

0

171

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

2

8

170

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

2 years

ed: what if there was some bizarre ritual where there was only one woman left and she was choosing from a group of men to marry, what then stede: that sounds like an absurd psychological experiment but if you were one of the men, i’d find you. i’d love you

1

2

167

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

2 years

ed: what if we played professional baseball stede: i don’t know what that is, but i’m certain i’d find a way to love it ed: what if i was a glassblower stede: ooh, i like that one. i’d definitely still love you

1

167

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

I wish Choices weren’t made as much as anybody but i do think it’s absolutely a thing to have a long term relationship turn toxic and codependent and morph into one person parenting the other

9

1

167

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

2 months

here’s the thing, this isn’t marketing this is simply lying

Max PR

@MaxPR

2 months

Max is amplifying Pride Month with uplifting LGBTQ+ storytelling, dynamic partnerships, engaging content curation, and exciting events throughout the month of June: Initiatives include partnership with NewFest, in-app curation, special events, and more.

291

10

54

2

27

168

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

7 months

i think, like. this show was such a surprise. the things that feel this Big are often a surprise. and so how do you imagine what the next thing will be? how do you imagine a surprise?

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

7 months

i think the reason this is all so reminiscent of a breakup is because i'm scared i'll never get to feel this way again

29

45

415

9

10

165

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

2 years

ed: would you still love me if i owned a bar stede: i’d be a regular! ed: what if … what if you were a priest and i was a sinner stede: well darling, you have heard what the say about loving the sinner. suppose i’d just have to love the sin, too

1

2

164

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

2 years

ed: what if i lived in someplace super cold. tiny cabin, snow everywhere stede: oh, i think i’d let you warm me up ed: what if you were just, like, a voice in my head stede: i’d have very little control over it, i suppose. but i think i’d still love you

1

164

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

8 months

accidentally perfect pause

4

0

163

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

i want to see the various knickknacks and doohickeys in their inn please and thanks @wbd #OurFlagMeansDeath #RenewAsACrew #saveOFMD

1

45

159

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

10 months

i keep thinking about "artsy outsider" and then thinking about calico jack in his illusions phase #ofmds2spoilers

2

30

160

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

5 months

the replies to this have me in shambles

Mark Arby

@markarby

5 months

Not sure how it happened but a bus crashed into a building near Tottenham Court Road Station. Police, Fire Brigade and ambulance in attendance.

2K

4K

35K

19

41

158

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

extremely tired of this shit month i’m having and it would really help me out if @StreamOnMax would #SaveOFMD and #RenewAsACrew just saying

4

19

157

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

this is oswald cobblepot, a four-year-old menace so-named because his litter was rescued from a storm drain (he was on the local news!). he yearns for the sewers, which i consider pirate-adjacent. #petsforpirates #adoptourcrew #saveofmd

14

11

158

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

my across the street neighbors have a little guy, maybe 3, and i caught them coming out of the grocery store today and the kid had a dozen roses CLUTCHED to his chest and his mom just shrugged and was like idk man he needed them for some reason. anyway, also pickles louis

2

0

159

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

the entire ofmd fandom rn

2

20

156

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

17 days

if you're thinking about buying kristian's book after the live, maybe consider a local independent bookstore--they preorder! they ship! or, failing that, bookshop dot org. okay i'm off the soapbox i love you no matter what 😘

3

38

158

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

7 months

partner plays dnd at a local game shop and they’re doing a lil party for all their various gamerfolk, figure i can get at least one person to ask about my shirt #saveofmd #RenewAsACrew

11

3

155

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

11 months

the only way today could be better is if studios payed their writers and actors fairly

1

41

156

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

1 month

u know who

rachelle toarmino

@rchlltrmn

1 month

“wow,” said the two-year-old neighbor boy petting one of our cats for the first time, “there are bones in here”

170

10K

195K

6

7

154

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

8 months

not pickles got a little update! a bonus chapter, a peek into how it's going, a long epilogue of sorts. if this is news to you, surprise! thanks to @ofmdficclub for the invite, thanks to everyone who hung out 💛

12

24

149

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

listen okay i’m just so happy for the swede and his jackiehammering #ofmds2spoilers

8

9

150

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

this story was complete before i was On Here and so i often get WAIT THAT WAS YOU?????? about this one, hi, yup, That Was Me, come hang with me on sunday at fic club and chat about it ✨💛🍸

Our Flag Means Death Fic Club #LongLiveOFMD

@ofmdficclub

9 months

It feels like yesterday that @_smallestchurch was blowing our collective minds with ‘turn on the light’. It is mind-meltingly good with lines that take our breath away. FC Discord is still screaming about this work 1 FULL YEAR after it’s finished 🩷

2

17

108

19

12

147

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

7 months

every time i see that "if we all list one thing we learned in therapy" post i wanna be like can i offer you the 84k word erotic fanfiction i wrote on this topic? there is a puppet,

5

9

148

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

6 months

glaad award and cancelled to save pennies i could fight GOD

1

17

147

smallest church

@_smallestchurch

9 months

hey man today it's been ten years since i've spoken to my mother and i'm real grateful you're all my moms now thanks ✨

19

0

149