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@TheFakeAbeBeame

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974
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17,876
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Rap & Bullshit.

Flatbush
Joined March 2019
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
New Michael K. Williams mural in Fort Greene.
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I’ve made Turkey basically every way you can think of, and my hard earned piece of wisdom is you can get a Turkey from Popeyes for $50, throw it in the oven for a few hours and end up with a bird better than any you’ve ever had
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Hate to ruin anyone’s NYE with this, but I’m doing research for a piece and just found the absolute worst music review I’ve ever read in my life, so now you have to look at it (don’t mean to go at anyone’s neck, more shocked P*tchf*rj hasn’t taken it down).
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@TheFakeAbeBeame
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9 months
@jsmooth995 @sweatyhabibti I wrote about them Jay! ✊🇵🇸
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@Deen8 It’s the entire plot of Ultron
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An underrated thing about having kids is you can buy cool shit “for them”.
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@mkrwrt How is it so tight with zero swag
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Holy shit.
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@TheFakeAbeBeame
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3 months
Welp, no one is confusing that with AI.
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Saw a guy on Flatbush in a horrific mid aughts Jamal Crawford jersey with matching shorts and a Knicks snap back. As I was riding past him, we made eye contact, and without context I said, “Fuck yeah”. He responded, “Let’s fucking go.”
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Michael Porter Jr. has a new podcast called “Curious Mike”. What could possibly go wrong?
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11 months
Have a ton of respect for billy woods man. He was just rapping about the Rhodesian Bush War on an album of the year contender, and he writes his own PR emails. That’s hustle.
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For the young writers and editors on here, this is actually how (some) “credible” people used to think and talk about rap when we were coming up.
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7 months
We need an inverse for this guy, when someone you love and respect has an awful take.
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Folks, millions of Americans are saying these are the lowest vibrations they’ve ever seen. They’re practically underground! Undetectable! Vibrations have never been this low before, never will be again.
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@TheFakeAbeBeame
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9 months
Some days I genuinely believe the best restaurant in the city is De Bamboo Express in Flatbush, a flawless Sino-Trini takeout spot I’ve hit at least once a month for over a decade. This is a plate of jerk wings with a plate of jerk lamb *and* jerk pork lo mein.
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Notice how Kendrick Lamar is placed slightly on the left of the video (similar to where The Heart is located in the human body) and his constant bounce representing The Heart beat. ART.
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@brofromanother All work and no play makes Jack a yes I’ll get you a cup of Goldfish did mommy say you could have ipad time?
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In Baltimore. Can confirm @TrueLaurels never lies. Crab cake egg rolls 🔥
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2 months
The Rolling Stone piece is incredible journalism. Not just exhaustive, not just heartbreaking, but actually seeks to paint a portrait of a personality and diagnose a pathology, which it does convincingly. As great as a story that terrible can possibly be.
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This is great, but claims the film was never released. I’ve had a copy that appears to have been released by producer Quincy Jones III since it came out. Still a fantastic interview with the director of the best music doc I’ve ever seen.
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@ericskelton
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15 years ago, a filmmaker followed Lil Wayne around and made one of the best hip-hop docs ever Unfortunately, it was hit by lawsuits and never properly released, so it remains difficult to find I interviewed the director about how it all happened:
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Ok, one more: Make your cornbread and crawfish dressing the day before. Better on the reheat.
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Yankee stadium flop era. No chance that ball isn’t caught by an off duty fire fighter who brought a glove to the game at the old park. Bunch of Ossining tax attorneys and dentists in the front row.
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@willystaley Gonna zag here and say supporting spumoni over paulie gees is good, actually. Also makes sense coming from SI.
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@caseyjohnston Has anyone said Paul Dano yet? It’s Paul Dano.
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Truly, the face of Nets fandom. A guy who moved here from Boston that sucks.
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“Line cooks aren’t smart enough to work office jobs” is the single dumbest thing any politician has said since Yang’s “imagine raising kids in a two bedroom apartment during Covid” line. This city is a political asshole magnet.
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@AsteadWesley Had a friend in college who believed “Juicy” was a CIA plot to normalize white use of the n word and I’m still not sure he was wrong.
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9 months
What if this whole rollout has been an elaborate bit and when we throw on the new record tonight it’s Andre spitting coke rap over the grimiest Alchemist beats
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Several months ago, I sat down with the great @Dart_Adams to discuss the frustratingly incomplete, lazily reported, and misrepresented history of rap. This one is definitely for the nerds, but if you follow me, you probably are one. Tap in.
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In a stunning move, I turned a dumb/fun bar argument into a treatise on criticism, the politics of a 30 year old rap publication, and the 15 albums it helped immortalize.
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I don’t think many young people can appreciate how truly special, miraculous, and unprecedented this is. For all the bullshit, what a time.
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NYC’s indoor vax mandate goes into effect today. Tip well, be patient and considerate when you go out. It’s going to be an extremely annoying and shitty couple of weeks/months for the service industry depending on what neighborhood you’re in.
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Uncut Gems is a Passover movie.
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Between our younger rappers dying violently and tragically at exponentially higher rates, and our older rappers beginning to go for causes at least closer to natural (while still tragic), this really might’ve been the worst year in rap history.
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3 months
Two of my favorite writers both grappling with the essential tension of this entire situation: from a fan’s perspective, it’s dark, dispiriting, exhausting, AND for any fan of rap beef and competition, exhilarating and very fun! Neither is wrong or right. A real Rorschach test.
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I have several hot Bear takes coming but the one I can’t keep to myself anymore is this was the best episode of the season.
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@CoodyP Threw some lamb stock, dried shìtakes and onions in the bottom of the roasting pan this year, strained the drippings and worked it into a basic roux. Electric.
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@imjasondiamond Funny to imagine Corden settling into a corner banquette at Balthazar brunch and immediately turning into a Guy Ritchie bad guy named “Mingy” or “the Potzer” or something.
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Folks, today, it’s been 20 years since we got The Listening, so I spoke to ⁦ @RapperBigPooh ⁩ and ⁦ @phontigallo ⁩ about what was the hands down most obnoxious era in the 50 year history of rap discourse.
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I wrote about the surprise breakout star of dream hampton's new documentary: The Greatest Rapper Who Ever Lived.
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Can’t really explain Omar’s impact on the cultural landscape in the early 2000s. A once in a generation character we’d never seen before and haven’t seen since. Could’ve so easily gone left. No one else could’ve done him justice. R.I.P. to Michael K. Williams, a genius.
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Spike and Denzel took Knicks over Oscars.
@SportsCenter
SportsCenter
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The stars are out for Knicks-Lakers 🤩 📺 ESPN
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5 months
I find it genuinely fascinating that we’re constantly complaining about the slow death of this industry, our friends and colleagues do great work on a daily basis, it’s literally free to promote it, and so many of us rarely, if ever use our platforms to put anyone else on.
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5 months
I went to see Project Pat at a sold out show in Bushwick on the 27th anniversary of the day Biggie Smalls was murdered, and attempted to wrap my arms around *gestures wildly at everything and nothing* all of this, for @stereogum
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HH50 has been such a net good in the world. Artists getting gigs and profiles for the first time in decades, outlets that rarely cover rap reaching out for commissions, editors assigning legendary writers to write context heavy historical pieces we never see anymore.
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9 months
Folks, a few weeks ago I got dinner in K-Town with @VEEZE4Eva , the unlikely breakout rapper of 2023. We looked back on what's been a wild year, and tried to figure out how he got here, and where he's headed. A profile for @Complex .
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Also will acknowledge this is not my best carving work, but as always, an absolute masterpiece from Popeyes.
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Incredible. @tombreihan sums up the entirety of the discourse and nails the album in one day. Completely fair, nuanced take on the artist, actually listened to the same album I did. I’m shocked, but I shouldn’t be. Take notes🤌🤌🤌
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Really have to be a special type of moron to immediately make the news that an 18 year old suffered a heart attack about your stupid fucking conspiracy theory.
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Feel like shit so I ordered medicine.
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Some personal news: My basketball card collection officially begins and ends today because I copped the Ja Morant rookie with Dolph in the stands and I’m never buying another card. Never selling. Changed my death plan, being buried with it like a pharaoh. R.I.P. DOLPH.
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7 months
I wrote about the most moving night I’ve ever had in Newark, and a generational change in the way we think and speak about Palestine, for @vulture .
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7 months
@Ganger4eva @DetroitPistons New Veeze>Free Wings
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Had the opportunity to speak to Roc Marciano for a European streetwear brand that put out a lit mag which may never hit the internet. My favorite part was post Flipmode, pre Marcberg, Roc was signed to Carson Daley’s label, so I got him to speak on that (very positive) experience
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DJ Jazzy Jeff-gate is the best rap scandal we’ve had in a while.
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A sad day for New York City and Pizza.
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In a related story, a Nets fan in Dumbo was on line at a shitty deli, waiting to order a pastrami and Mayo on white bread, belatedly looked at his phone and said, “Oh, sick. The Nets won last night.”
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@BrandyLJensen Love the concept, A LOT of white women in the thread.
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@Deen8 Ultron disenfranchises every single American by closing the polls because it’s the only way to protect us from ourselves.
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Had access to an aux cord last night in mixed company. Wanted to have a Kendrick listening party. Got shouted down and had to switch up after a single song. Literally “scared the hoes”.
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@WaliGz No one said that. The Turkey was takeout.
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Carmy just opened his mouth, someone go hand him an Emmy right now
@FilmUpdates
Film Updates
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“Fishes” from ‘THE BEAR’ is one of the most Emmy-nominated TV episodes ever.
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@HaroldBingo “Worst thing” in this one is an absolute gauntlet
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Michael K. Williams was such a presence in Flatbush. Can’t tell you how many people over the last few weeks have told me these insane personal anecdotes about him being warm and generous in these little moments, touching their lives. He’s going to live here forever.
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I don’t often get too personal on here, but for the last ten years I’ve had this awful neighbor I can’t stand, so I wrote a Facebook Community style post complaining about it.
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@Pellz_ It is too late, but try it next year and just don’t say shit. She’ll never know.
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4 months
At long last, I spoke to David Krumholtz about his great, recently deceased Twitter account, The Charles Smith Game, the best performance in Oppenheimer, Jonathan Glazer’s Oscar speech, and three incredible decades in the industry, for @GQMagazine .
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Had a friend in town from Atlanta and a friend in town from Boston so I had to take them out for “Real Pizza”.
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10 months
So proud of the work I’ve done for OKP. Wasn’t just a gig, I loved the experience writing for that site. Being able to work with and for passionate, thoughtful writers and editors was a pleasure. Feel like I just got punched in the face. Can’t imagine how the actual staff feels.
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10 months
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@mkrwrt “You’re supposed to hit the fucking woah on the 7 Brooklyn how many times have we been over this?!”
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Pretty incredible that two guys from the Bronx making hyper specific, local reference based humor became the biggest act in national late night media over the last five years. Miraculous accomplishment. Onwards and upwards.
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You have to have an incredibly deep and rich institutional memory of aughts era rap cable programming to understand why this is the funniest thing that’s ever happened to me online.
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@SheaSerrano An all timer in the sub genre of very well made movies I never want to see again.
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8 months
@andrejgee Regal disdain
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With all due respect to ramen, pho, and matzo ball soup, it’s congee weather.
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