🧢 @TheFakeAbeBeame Twitter profile

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2 months

Last month I hung out for a day in the South Bronx, roasted two whole pigs, and found the meaning of life.

Pork, Love, and Money: Life According to La Piraña Lechonera

For 23 years, chef Angel Jimenez has drawn barbecue pork devotees to the South Bronx. This summer, the party is heating up again.

tastecooking.com

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Last Seen Profiles

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

New Michael K. Williams mural in Fort Greene.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

I’ve made Turkey basically every way you can think of, and my hard earned piece of wisdom is you can get a Turkey from Popeyes for $50, throw it in the oven for a few hours and end up with a bird better than any you’ve ever had

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

4 years

Hate to ruin anyone’s NYE with this, but I’m doing research for a piece and just found the absolute worst music review I’ve ever read in my life, so now you have to look at it (don’t mean to go at anyone’s neck, more shocked P*tchf*rj hasn’t taken it down).

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

9 months

@jsmooth995 @sweatyhabibti I wrote about them Jay! ✊🇵🇸

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

4 years

@Deen8 It’s the entire plot of Ultron

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

An underrated thing about having kids is you can buy cool shit “for them”.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

@mkrwrt How is it so tight with zero swag

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

Holy shit.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 months

Welp, no one is confusing that with AI.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

Saw a guy on Flatbush in a horrific mid aughts Jamal Crawford jersey with matching shorts and a Knicks snap back. As I was riding past him, we made eye contact, and without context I said, “Fuck yeah”. He responded, “Let’s fucking go.”

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

Michael Porter Jr. has a new podcast called “Curious Mike”. What could possibly go wrong?

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

I wrote about what it’s like cooking for a living, and why The Bear is the greatest show anyone has ever made about it.

A Glossary Explaining Why “The Bear” Is The Greatest Fictional Work About The Kitchen

Abe Beame returns to discuss how FX’s “The Bear” encompasses the true experiences of working in the restaurant industry professionally and extensively covers all of the things you…

www.passionweiss.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

11 months

Have a ton of respect for billy woods man. He was just rapping about the Rhodesian Bush War on an album of the year contender, and he writes his own PR emails. That’s hustle.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

4 years

For the young writers and editors on here, this is actually how (some) “credible” people used to think and talk about rap when we were coming up.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

7 months

We need an inverse for this guy, when someone you love and respect has an awful take.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

Folks, millions of Americans are saying these are the lowest vibrations they’ve ever seen. They’re practically underground! Undetectable! Vibrations have never been this low before, never will be again.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

9 months

Some days I genuinely believe the best restaurant in the city is De Bamboo Express in Flatbush, a flawless Sino-Trini takeout spot I’ve hit at least once a month for over a decade. This is a plate of jerk wings with a plate of jerk lamb *and* jerk pork lo mein.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

Notice how Kendrick Lamar is placed slightly on the left of the video (similar to where The Heart is located in the human body) and his constant bounce representing The Heart beat. ART.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

@brofromanother All work and no play makes Jack a yes I’ll get you a cup of Goldfish did mommy say you could have ipad time?

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

In Baltimore. Can confirm @TrueLaurels never lies. Crab cake egg rolls 🔥

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 months

The Rolling Stone piece is incredible journalism. Not just exhaustive, not just heartbreaking, but actually seeks to paint a portrait of a personality and diagnose a pathology, which it does convincingly. As great as a story that terrible can possibly be.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

This is great, but claims the film was never released. I’ve had a copy that appears to have been released by producer Quincy Jones III since it came out. Still a fantastic interview with the director of the best music doc I’ve ever seen.

Eric Skelton

@ericskelton

1 year

15 years ago, a filmmaker followed Lil Wayne around and made one of the best hip-hop docs ever Unfortunately, it was hit by lawsuits and never properly released, so it remains difficult to find I interviewed the director about how it all happened:

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

Ok, one more: Make your cornbread and crawfish dressing the day before. Better on the reheat.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

Yankee stadium flop era. No chance that ball isn’t caught by an off duty fire fighter who brought a glove to the game at the old park. Bunch of Ossining tax attorneys and dentists in the front row.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

I wrote about witnessing the slow and strange 25 year evolution of the live rap show in New York.

Is the Future Here for Brooklyn’s Live Rap Scene?

A new generation of New York venues is challenging the old, restrictive nightlife models that kept genres and audiences separate

www.rollingstone.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

@willystaley Gonna zag here and say supporting spumoni over paulie gees is good, actually. Also makes sense coming from SI.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

@caseyjohnston Has anyone said Paul Dano yet? It’s Paul Dano.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

Truly, the face of Nets fandom. A guy who moved here from Boston that sucks.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

“Line cooks aren’t smart enough to work office jobs” is the single dumbest thing any politician has said since Yang’s “imagine raising kids in a two bedroom apartment during Covid” line. This city is a political asshole magnet.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

4 years

@AsteadWesley Had a friend in college who believed “Juicy” was a CIA plot to normalize white use of the n word and I’m still not sure he was wrong.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

I wrote about the worst habit of one of my favorite writers.

The Quentin Tarantino Situation: Using Racism as a Literary Device

Throughout his career, Quentin Tarantino has used racism and misogyny as a shorthand to color in his broadly sketched, stock genre characters.

www.okayplayer.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

9 months

What if this whole rollout has been an elaborate bit and when we throw on the new record tonight it’s Andre spitting coke rap over the grimiest Alchemist beats

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

Two months ago, I engaged in a bit of Plimpton style stunt journalism, working for a night as a crate digger for the Sample God, @CashCobain_2x .

I Made Beats With New York Drill Rap's Hottest Producer, Cash Cobain

Come along for the ride as Cash flips songs by T.I., Nirvana and the Spice Girls into new beats on the spot.

www.gq.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

Several months ago, I sat down with the great @Dart_Adams to discuss the frustratingly incomplete, lazily reported, and misrepresented history of rap. This one is definitely for the nerds, but if you follow me, you probably are one. Tap in.

The Follow: Dart Adams, Fact Checker

Introducing ‘The Follow,’ a new periodic series where Abe Beame chops it up with the people behind exemplary Twitter accounts.

www.passionweiss.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

4 years

In a stunning move, I turned a dumb/fun bar argument into a treatise on criticism, the politics of a 30 year old rap publication, and the 15 albums it helped immortalize.

A Definitive Ranking of All the Original 5 Mic Albums in The Source

No stranger to insanely ambitious (or flat-out insane) projects, Abe Beame attempts to settle the debate over the greatest 5 mic album once and for all.

www.passionweiss.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

4 months

I spent the last eight months reviewing a local sports bar, for @RollingStone

How Jay-Z and the 40/40 Club Ruled NYC Nightlife

For two decades, the exclusive lounge was the heart of the rapper's growing empire.

www.rollingstone.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

Wrote a eulogy for an old friend.

DJ Kay Slay’s Story is the Story of Hip-Hop

On the eve of his birthday, the late DJ Kay Slay was honored with a street in East Harlem. We take a look back at how the New York City legend went from being graff writer Dez to one of the most...

www.okayplayer.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

I don’t think many young people can appreciate how truly special, miraculous, and unprecedented this is. For all the bullshit, what a time.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

NYC’s indoor vax mandate goes into effect today. Tip well, be patient and considerate when you go out. It’s going to be an extremely annoying and shitty couple of weeks/months for the service industry depending on what neighborhood you’re in.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

Uncut Gems is a Passover movie.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

4 years

@AdamFriedland

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

I wrote a love letter to the best fried chicken wings in New York.

Exploring The Legend of Snyder Wings: the Best Fried Chicken in New York City

On Utica Avenue, a Chinese spot with a line out the door is known by word of mouth for the best fried chicken in New York City. After a month-long hiatus, we recaptured the crispy, tender magic of...

www.okayplayer.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

Between our younger rappers dying violently and tragically at exponentially higher rates, and our older rappers beginning to go for causes at least closer to natural (while still tragic), this really might’ve been the worst year in rap history.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

It was an honor and a privilege to talk to God’s favorite poster, ⁦ @solomonmissouri ⁩, about organized religion and being horny on main.

The Follow: Solomon Missouri, Digital Pastor

Abe Beame connects with Solomon Missouri for the first edition of The Follow in 2023 to talk about what it means to be a recovering evangelical, the modern middle-aged dating scene and much more.

www.passionweiss.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 months

Two of my favorite writers both grappling with the essential tension of this entire situation: from a fan’s perspective, it’s dark, dispiriting, exhausting, AND for any fan of rap beef and competition, exhilarating and very fun! Neither is wrong or right. A real Rorschach test.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

I have several hot Bear takes coming but the one I can’t keep to myself anymore is this was the best episode of the season.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

@CoodyP Threw some lamb stock, dried shìtakes and onions in the bottom of the roasting pan this year, strained the drippings and worked it into a basic roux. Electric.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

Wrote a eulogy for an old friend.

The Importance of Being Omar

In honor of the late, great Michael K. Williams, Abe Beame pays tribute to the actor’s fearless portrayal of ‘The Wire’s’ Omar.

www.passionweiss.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

Wrote about one of the few non-annoying rap production trends and enlisted the expertise of old friends ⁦ @CashCobain_2x ⁩, ⁦ @evilgiane ⁩, and the great ⁦ @ariellenyc ⁩ to walk me through it.

How Jersey Club Music Became the Blueprint for Your Favorite Hip-Hop Songs Right Now

From Kendrick Lamar and Baby Keem to Pink Pantheress and Ice Spice, why your favorite artists love rapping on a classic dance music style that’s been slowly infiltrating the mainstream.

www.gq.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

@imjasondiamond Funny to imagine Corden settling into a corner banquette at Balthazar brunch and immediately turning into a Guy Ritchie bad guy named “Mingy” or “the Potzer” or something.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

Folks, today, it’s been 20 years since we got The Listening, so I spoke to ⁦ @RapperBigPooh ⁩ and ⁦ @phontigallo ⁩ about what was the hands down most obnoxious era in the 50 year history of rap discourse.

Little Brother Looks Back on 20 Years of 'The Listening'

Big Pooh and Phonte reflect on their debut album, which arrived at a crucial point in the eternal debate between “Conscious Rap” and the mainstream.

www.gq.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

I went to see Rakim, one of the greatest rappers of all time (again) and wrote an impassioned tribute to the lost art of the live rap performance.

Teach the Children: Why Rakim Should Be On Your Live Bucket List

We don’t often think of rap performance as virtuosic, but that’s what Rakim is. An incredible live performer no different than seeing a great horn player at the Blue Note, Abe Beame writes.

www.passionweiss.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 month

I wrote about the surprise breakout star of dream hampton's new documentary: The Greatest Rapper Who Ever Lived.

The Biggie We Never Saw

A new film from dream hampton provides a fresh angle on a rapper whose image has been scanned and refashioned ad nauseam.

www.vulture.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

Spoke to the great @evilgiane about giving Kendrick an outlet for joy.

Evilgiane Wasn’t Expecting That Kendrick-Keem Collab Either

“I never got to actually hear the full song, and then last minute they told us that Kendrick got on it.”

www.vulture.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

Can’t really explain Omar’s impact on the cultural landscape in the early 2000s. A once in a generation character we’d never seen before and haven’t seen since. Could’ve so easily gone left. No one else could’ve done him justice. R.I.P. to Michael K. Williams, a genius.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

Spike and Denzel took Knicks over Oscars.

SportsCenter

@SportsCenter

1 year

The stars are out for Knicks-Lakers 🤩 📺 ESPN

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

Oh major, don’t go.

20 years ago, Cam'ron came home

'Come Home With Me' was the moment that everything came together for Cam — and rap changed forever as a result.

www.mic.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

5 months

I find it genuinely fascinating that we’re constantly complaining about the slow death of this industry, our friends and colleagues do great work on a daily basis, it’s literally free to promote it, and so many of us rarely, if ever use our platforms to put anyone else on.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

5 months

I went to see Project Pat at a sold out show in Bushwick on the 27th anniversary of the day Biggie Smalls was murdered, and attempted to wrap my arms around *gestures wildly at everything and nothing* all of this, for @stereogum

Digital Dust In The Wind: Project Pat In Bushwick

The Memphis legend comes to Brooklyn on Notorious B.I.G. day.

www.stereogum.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

HH50 has been such a net good in the world. Artists getting gigs and profiles for the first time in decades, outlets that rarely cover rap reaching out for commissions, editors assigning legendary writers to write context heavy historical pieces we never see anymore.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

9 months

Folks, a few weeks ago I got dinner in K-Town with @VEEZE4Eva , the unlikely breakout rapper of 2023. We looked back on what's been a wild year, and tried to figure out how he got here, and where he's headed. A profile for @Complex .

Bubbling: Veeze, The Detroit Rapper Everyone's Betting On

Veeze kicks off our monthly music series highlighting who's up next.

www.complex.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

4 years

@BrandyLJensen And

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

Also will acknowledge this is not my best carving work, but as always, an absolute masterpiece from Popeyes.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

Incredible. @tombreihan sums up the entirety of the discourse and nails the album in one day. Completely fair, nuanced take on the artist, actually listened to the same album I did. I’m shocked, but I shouldn’t be. Take notes🤌🤌🤌

Premature Evaluation: Travis Scott 'Utopia'

Listen: Travis Scott has come unstuck in time. Travis has gone to sleep a washed-up pariah and awakened on the day that his McDonald’s meal came out. He has walked through a door in 2023 and come out...

www.stereogum.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

Really have to be a special type of moron to immediately make the news that an 18 year old suffered a heart attack about your stupid fucking conspiracy theory.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

Feel like shit so I ordered medicine.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

Shout to @manosundaresan , for giving me the opportunity to write about how you’re all a bunch of fucking rubes, for @nobellsblog .

The banality of Anderson .Paak

Abe Beame goes in on Anderson .Paak, Silk Sonic, and the endless chill of American life.

nobells.blog

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

Some personal news: My basketball card collection officially begins and ends today because I copped the Ja Morant rookie with Dolph in the stands and I’m never buying another card. Never selling. Changed my death plan, being buried with it like a pharaoh. R.I.P. DOLPH.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

7 months

I wrote about the most moving night I’ve ever had in Newark, and a generational change in the way we think and speak about Palestine, for @vulture .

A Night of Hope in Newark

Mustafa’s Gaza and Sudan benefit concert felt miraculous.

www.vulture.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

7 months

@Ganger4eva @DetroitPistons New Veeze>Free Wings

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

Had the opportunity to speak to Roc Marciano for a European streetwear brand that put out a lit mag which may never hit the internet. My favorite part was post Flipmode, pre Marcberg, Roc was signed to Carson Daley’s label, so I got him to speak on that (very positive) experience

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

DJ Jazzy Jeff-gate is the best rap scandal we’ve had in a while.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

A sad day for New York City and Pizza.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

In a related story, a Nets fan in Dumbo was on line at a shitty deli, waiting to order a pastrami and Mayo on white bread, belatedly looked at his phone and said, “Oh, sick. The Nets won last night.”

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

4 years

@BrandyLJensen Love the concept, A LOT of white women in the thread.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

4 years

@Deen8 Ultron disenfranchises every single American by closing the polls because it’s the only way to protect us from ourselves.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

Had access to an aux cord last night in mixed company. Wanted to have a Kendrick listening party. Got shouted down and had to switch up after a single song. Literally “scared the hoes”.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

4 years

Wrote a eulogy for an old friend.

Hero vs. Villain: “Curls”

As our MF DOOM tribute rolls on, Abe Beame deconstructs a minute and a half of brilliance from Madvillain.

www.passionweiss.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

@WaliGz No one said that. The Turkey was takeout.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

15 days

Carmy just opened his mouth, someone go hand him an Emmy right now

Film Updates

@FilmUpdates

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“Fishes” from ‘THE BEAR’ is one of the most Emmy-nominated TV episodes ever.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

7 months

This weekend, Michael Mann returns to the biopic with Ferrari. It’s very good, but his best is still his misunderstood 2001 masterpiece, Ali. I looked back, for @GQMagazine .

Michael Mann's First Great Biopic Found the Michael Mann Man in Muhammad Ali

In this month's Ferrari, the legendary director tells the true story of a high-achieving man with a complicated life outside his sport. It's a return to territory Mann previously explored with Will...

www.gq.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

4 years

@HaroldBingo “Worst thing” in this one is an absolute gauntlet

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

3 years

Michael K. Williams was such a presence in Flatbush. Can’t tell you how many people over the last few weeks have told me these insane personal anecdotes about him being warm and generous in these little moments, touching their lives. He’s going to live here forever.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

I don’t often get too personal on here, but for the last ten years I’ve had this awful neighbor I can’t stand, so I wrote a Facebook Community style post complaining about it.

Why Barclays Center is the worst arena in America

The Barclays Center is the perfect representation of the Brooklyn Nets, and not in the way the franchise hoped.

www.sbnation.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

@Pellz_ It is too late, but try it next year and just don’t say shit. She’ll never know.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

4 months

At long last, I spoke to David Krumholtz about his great, recently deceased Twitter account, The Charles Smith Game, the best performance in Oppenheimer, Jonathan Glazer’s Oscar speech, and three incredible decades in the industry, for @GQMagazine .

David Krumholtz, Unsung Hero of ‘Oppenheimer,’ on His Brief Run as King of the Twitter Thread (and...

The beloved character actor talks NUMB3RS, his struggle as a Knicks fan, getting choked by Freddie Gibbs, and his new film Lousy Carter.

www.gq.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

Had a friend in town from Atlanta and a friend in town from Boston so I had to take them out for “Real Pizza”.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

1 year

I wrote about the popularity of a brilliant, goofy Black pizzeria and how it explains New York City’s restaurant culture in the age of TikTok.

Exploring Cuts & Slices, Brooklyn’s Most Viral Pizza Shop

Cuts & Slices is a Brooklyn-based pizzeria that serves unconventional pies featuring ingredients like shrimp, truffles, and oxtail. We take a look at why the shop has become such a viral phenomenon.

www.okayplayer.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

10 months

So proud of the work I’ve done for OKP. Wasn’t just a gig, I loved the experience writing for that site. Being able to work with and for passionate, thoughtful writers and editors was a pleasure. Feel like I just got punched in the face. Can’t imagine how the actual staff feels.

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10 months

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

@mkrwrt “You’re supposed to hit the fucking woah on the 7 Brooklyn how many times have we been over this?!”

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

Pretty incredible that two guys from the Bronx making hyper specific, local reference based humor became the biggest act in national late night media over the last five years. Miraculous accomplishment. Onwards and upwards.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

You have to have an incredibly deep and rich institutional memory of aughts era rap cable programming to understand why this is the funniest thing that’s ever happened to me online.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

4 years

@SheaSerrano An all timer in the sub genre of very well made movies I never want to see again.

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

11 months

Spoke to the great @rocmarci a few months ago and it’s live online: Biggie, Dreddy Kruger, Large Professor, Alchemist, Ka, Carson Daly. We get into all of it.

Patta Vol 1: Straight off the Roc

Words by Abe Beame | Photograph by Edgar The Third (Hothead Nomads) (Originally published in Patta Volume 1) Hempstead Long Island native Roc Marciano has to be one of the least likely stars who have...

www.patta.nl

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

What it do, folks. I spoke to The People’s Champ, ⁦ @paulwallbaby ⁩

“That Brings A Different Element Out of Me”: An Interview with Paul Wall & Termanology

There are few rappers as beloved in their home city than Paul Wall is in Houston. The Texas legend connects with collaborator Termanology for a new interview with Abe Beame.

www.passionweiss.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

I wrote about two great books, two great American cities that produced two musical geniuses, and how a unique sense of timing can change the world.

At the Speeds of Life

Both DJ Screw and J Dilla biographies make the persuasive argument that the work of each producer was a combination of specific, unique genius, and of insight derived from their cities.

www.passionweiss.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

8 months

@andrejgee Regal disdain

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 months

On Saturday night, I went to a synagogue on the Lower East Side and listened to *some of* RZA’s ten year old non fungible token, Once Upon a Time in Shaolin.

Is Wu-Tang’s Million Dollar ‘Once Upon a Time in Shaolin’ Album Actually Good?

We got to listen to Wu-Tang Clan’s infamous one-of-one album, Once Upon a Time in Shaolin, during a special listening session in New York City. Here are our thoughts.

www.complex.com

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@TheFakeAbeBeame

2 years

With all due respect to ramen, pho, and matzo ball soup, it’s congee weather.

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