Received a pitch presentation from a "female well being sex tech start-up" (five dudes) that can "confirm" and "validate" female orgasms, that could help my company develop better sex toys. Here are some slides, for your enjoyment/anger.
I thought I'd do a thread of soviet anti-alcohol posters because they are often brilliant, ingenious, and... sobering.
First, from 1988, this one says "Passage to another world."
From 1977, this one pleads, "don't drink your life away." Oof. (Aside: this is one of the most beautiful bits of communication work I think I've ever seen.)
The company that sent me that dreadful, misogynistic, dangerous, awful, hilarious orgasm app presentation yesterday are currently VERY angry with me for putting it on twitter, and I am very much ok with that.
Guide To British Anger
Level 5: Hmm.
Level 4: Is that really necessary?
Level 3: I'd really rather you didn't
Level 2: Now look here
Level 1: *throws statue into the Avon*
@AlmostSenseless
Exactly.
This tweet has proven quite popular, so I'm going to save up all the replies and forward them to the company that sent it to me, for a satisfyingly public door-showing.
And finally, my favourite, the one that made me go looking for more, and the one I think is the cleverest, this one says "Alcohol - the enemy of production."
The
#coronovirus
has caused the lockdown of Wuhan, a city with a bigger population than London or New York. This is a video from Wuhan Hospital's reception area. It's worse than we're being told.
I know there's a lot going on right now. Things are moving fast and we're all giddy. But it's really important to remember that Trump's team accidentally booked Four Seasons Total Landscape - not the Four Seasons Hotel - for a press conference today.
NEVER FORGET
@MissRubyRousson
And pitch it with sincerity, too. I get sent all sorts of crap, but this one is particularly egregious because it has absolutely no sense of its own dangerousness.
SEX TOY FOLK
Amazing news, something we've all wanted for years is now REAL.
Meet ISO 3533:2021. Finally, a standard for quality in the sex toy industry.
(1/5)
I went for a coffee in the local cafe. The waitress asked for my number. I was super flattered, gave it to her, and asked her to call me. She said "I will, if anyone here gets covid."
This is a true story that just happened, and I am both dumb and stupid.
This one says, "Harmful to health, family, and children." So effective is this art style, and so often reproduced, that it still looks and feels modern.
Ok here we go. Yesterday, I cycled out of Berlin, north of Pankow, to an abandoned castle, Schloss Dammsmühle. The history of this place is too much for a twitter thread, but I thought I'd give you a tour.
Absolutely crushed to see
@vagina_museum
get pushed out of their home again, but hopefully this astonishingly good headline in the Metro brings them some investment
@kalanyy
That's being VERY charitable. But even if you're right, I *do* work for a sex toy development company, and *still* find this whole thing toxic and stupid.
I hate it when people use "tea" as a euphemism for sex. "Hey, wanna come back to mine for a... cup of tea?"
I'm British. I don't care how good the sex is. If there's no tea I'm going to be very cross.
Well today was incredible. I had a tweet blow up a little, and despite over a thousand comments and hundreds of retweets, it never once descended into a horrible political shitfight. You did good today, twitter. You did good.
I was on a date once in China and I asked this girl what she thought would win in a fight out of a shark and a bear, and she replied "it depends what they were fighting about," and I think about that answer every day.
So I'm British and my girlfriend is Finnish and we have both had sex with people just out of nothing but sheer politeness. No real attraction, no real chemistry, just politeness, and social awkwardness.
Is that completely alien to you, or do you understand where I'm coming from?
To confused followers, Oxfam didn't pull their Inspirational Women bingo cards because of cancel culture, they pulled the cards because they deadnamed Elliot Page, that's what this is about.
girlfriend: WHY IS THERE LIPSTICK ON YOUR DICK!?
*flashback to me dressing my dick up like Marilyn Monroe and making it sing 'happy birthday' to me*
me: I'm having an affair
If you're the kind of guy who says things like "I don't know if it's ok to even hug a woman anymore," you can automatically assume that you're the kind of person from whom no woman ever wanted a hug.
Received a pitch presentation from a "female well being sex tech start-up" (five dudes) that can "confirm" and "validate" female orgasms, that could help my company develop better sex toys. Here are some slides, for your enjoyment/anger.
@HelenJMacdonald
Hey Helen. I thought you might appreciate this. Right outside my kitchen window, in Wilmersdorf today. I can't believe it looked right at me.
Picasso died in 1973, which means there's could theoretically sat and watched all three original series of Star Trek with a Big Mac in his hand. That's nuts. When you think of Picasso, you think of dusty wine bottles in a collapsing barn in the south of Spain and shit.
There was a 500 year period after the construction of the pyramids of Giza during which there were still woolly mammoths alive on the planet, and that's really interesting to talk about but not during sex APPARENTLY
If you're disappointed by your A-levels, here's a pro-tip: no one ever checks. Ever. Say you got straight As. Just lie about it. Honestly, no one even cares, not even if they find out you're lying.
This is a turning point for the way personal pleasure is considered in the mainstream. We are legitimate at last, and the impact this will have on health, sustainability, and quality can not be overestimated.
Welcome to the future of orgasms. We fought hard to get here. (5/5)
I wrote about how
@JohnThomasToys
burned itself down with a single tweet, and why it's indicative of the fact that, to be successful in the adult industry, sex brands need to be run by grown ups.