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Shalom

@ShalomEsene

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Pitches & news tips: shalom @okayafrica .com

Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.
Joined February 2018
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
1 month
Hereโ€™s a comprehensive account of the most prominent femicide cases in Nigeria in recent years: Uwa, Austa, Ini, Christiannah & more -- the few that made it to social media. Surveys & data suggest many more cases that remain hidden from the public eye.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
โ€˜I did not pay your father half my life savings for you to tell me when I can and cannot fuck youโ€™ I wrote this. Because I am angry. I hope it makes you angry too.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
Someone told me women need to get over ourselves because there is nothing like "male privilege" - at least not anymore. I told him, No matter what part of the world you live in, you'll never be married off at the age of twelve. That, is privilege. (Thread):
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Shalom
6 months
@chinonso_nzeh Yess. And pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
Nigerians are so befuddled by homosexuality because it shatters the very foundation that society is built on: PATRIARCHY. They imagine a gay couple & immediately start wondering: but who will be the head & who will be tail?
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
You take your fiancรฉe home & your people ask her to pound yam & sweep compound & you donโ€™t see anything wrong with that because after all your foremothers did it - did they have two heads? But she takes you home & her people donโ€™t ask you to go to the bush & hunt for meat
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Shalom
6 years
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Shalom
6 years
โ€œPedophiles donโ€™t target naked children, they target children.โ€ - Elnathan John
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Shalom
6 years
No matter what part of the world you live in, you'll never be denied education because of your gender. That, is privilege.
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Shalom
6 years
You'll never be shamed for being hairy, ridiculed for choosing not to have kids or for being unmarried at forty. That, is privilege.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
5 years
Nigerian relatives try to transform you to their slave when you go living with them, talmbout how youโ€™re โ€œspoiledโ€ and your mother didnโ€™t โ€œtrain you wellโ€ when you resist their transformation. Lol yes my mother actually tried but she failed to turn me into a domestic slave.
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Shalom
6 years
You've never been catcalled. You're far less likely to be groped by women in a public bus. That, is privilege.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
You'll never lose an election because of your gender. That, is privilege.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
The list is endless, but I'll stop here: You can walk down alleys at 11pm without a pepper spray in your bag and without the fear of rape or assault. THAT, DEAR MEN, IS MALE PRIVILEGE.
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Shalom
6 years
You're not taught from childhood that your body belongs to some hypothetical husband and not yourself. That, is privilege.
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Shalom
6 years
You are not threatened with, "Look at you, who will marry you?" when you do not do Z right. (For Z insert cook, clean, wash, sweep, etcetera). That, is privilege.
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Shalom
6 years
Women do not "womanterrupt" or "womansplain" to you. (Aka tell you how to behave like a man and what it's like to be a man, as though they know so better than you know it yourself). That, is privilege.
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Shalom
6 years
It is not culturally and religiously demanded of you that you "submit" to your "head" in marriage. (And you do not have to listen to women fine-tune and glorify the meaning of submission on a daily basis). That, is privilege.
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Shalom
6 years
48 people are raped in Congo every hour, and none of them belonging to your gender. You're far less likely to be blamed if you ever got raped. That, is privilege.
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Shalom
6 years
You are far less likely to be called "bitch" or "proud" or "bossy" when you speak up or refused to be silenced and/or bullied by women. That, is privilege.
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Shalom
6 years
You are far less likely to be paid less for doing the same job as a woman. That, is privilege.
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Shalom
6 years
You've never been physically abused in a relationship and are far less likely to be because of your gender. That, is privilege.
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Shalom
6 years
You are far less likely to be slut shamed. That, is privilege.
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Shalom
6 years
You're not questioned or ridiculed for keeping your name after marriage. That, is privilege.
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Shalom
6 years
Who will be first class spouse & who will be second class spouse? Who will submit & who will treat the other like trash? Who will stay at home borning pickin & washing payint & pounding yam & cooking Egusi while the other is staying late hours at the office fucking the secretary?
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 months
Half an hour before the start of one of his most significant challenges yet, I spoke to @Tunde_OD about his attempt to break the Guinness WRecord for the longest chess marathon, for @OkayAfrica . Heโ€™s a grounded man with thoughtful ambition. Read here:
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
You're far less likely to be fired or denied a promotion for refusing to sleep with your boss. That, is privilege.
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Shalom
6 years
You're not pressured into settling for less because you're terrified the chances of a woman marrying you gets slimmer as you age. That, is privilege.
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Shalom
6 years
You're far less likely to be shamed for being the much older person in a relationship. That, is privilege.
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Shalom
6 years
Society does not frown on your proposing to a woman. That, is privilege.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
These stories, don't they scare you? Don't they enrage you? Don't they make you want to strangle all the fuckers who ever opened their mouths to say โ€˜not all menโ€™? For the brave women finally summoning the courage to step up and speak out, you are AMAZING. AMAZING. AMAZING!!
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Shalom
6 months
@the_kemmy This is the funniest thing Iโ€™ve seen today. ๐Ÿคฃ
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Shalom
6 years
and to go the river with net & hook to catch fish & to build brickhouse with your bare hands even though your forefathers did so too. Did they have two heads?
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Shalom
6 years
@Tosgoldgold Oh no you have pointed out that Iโ€™m all for gay rights and by doing so you have completely eradicated and finished me. How will I ever recover o.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
For me, asking women not to come into the house of God during their period is the highest form of religious misogyny. You claim this Great God created us all, but somehow this same God is ashamed & disgusted by women who are going through this natural process called menstruation?
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 months
Wrote about the influence that K-drama & K-culture has had in the lives of Nigerian women and the amazing things theyโ€™re doing with the Korean language. Enjoyed writing this, enjoyed telling @Nekie_neka โ€™s and other womenโ€™s interesting stories. Read here:
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
Asiwaju was accused of rape. To prove that he wasnโ€™t guilty, he took a page from the revenge porn book. It did not matter that they were both stark naked and his bum hole was being licked by this woman. This man knew the gender scales are not balanced and knew the woman would be
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
This business of shaming nonbelievers is one Iโ€™ll never understand. And we're supposed to be the 'good guys'. Because they're human like you, respect people's choices, opinions, (religion) and lack of religion. And if you can't be so decent as to do that, then SHUT THE FUCK UP.
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Yagami
7 years
No one is an atheist when the turbulence starts rocking the plane
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Shalom
6 years
@Tosgoldgold Please get the fuck out of my mentions.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
4 months
Hi hi, Iโ€™m covering culture, entertainment, women, & intersections with @okayafrica . Love to get in touch with more creatives/creators/anyone doing interesting stuff on the continent/diaspora. Share your projects, send story tips, etc to shalom @okayafrica .com.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
2 years
Hii, Iโ€™m looking to speak to women whoโ€™ve patronized vendors that sell butt enlargement pills, oils, syrups, etc for a piece Iโ€™m working on. Pleeease help me out. If youโ€™re one/ know someone. I promise this is a no-judgment zone. Iโ€™ll keep completely anonymous if you wish.
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Shalom
6 years
โ€˜If the only crime in Nigeria is to be poor, then the guiltiest person in Nigeria is the poor female child.โ€™ I WISH. I wish I wish I wish Nigerian men would ACTUALLY actually actually READ this.
@ayosogunro
Ayo Sogunro
6 years
A lesson on sexism
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Shalom
6 months
I really enjoyed talking to Sabelle Beraki. Sheโ€™s so cool and joyous and real. Sheโ€™s a Black Swedish woman making Black toys for children. You can read here:
@OkayAfrica
OkayAfrica
6 months
Eritrean toy maker Sabelle Beraki grew up without seeing dolls that looked like her, and has made it her mission to make sure no other little Black, African girls experience the same ๐Ÿฅน๐Ÿ‘ง๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท โœ๐Ÿพ: @ShalomEsene Read her full story here ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿพ
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Shalom
7 months
Hello @Hauwa_L , I'm a journalist and I'd love to chat about centering you in Culture Custodian piece. I've sent an email and a dm. Will you check your inbox please?
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
10 months
Overwhelmed with gratitude for this opportunity, and the precious time I have spent with @__mofiyinfoluwa , @heeruomah , @immaculata_na , and Janobest at the residency. And to @IseleMagazine for giving our stories a home, thank you.
@__mofiyinfoluwa
M.O.
10 months
The runner up essay for The Abebi Award for AfroNonfiction is Shalom Esene @ShalomEsene for Untimely โ€”as she immerses us in so many compelling emotional landscapes, showing us just how fickle, yet monumental life can really be
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
Now he has killed himself. While suicide is always a sad thing, I want to let you guys know that there is nothing men will not do to discredit, gaslight and villainize women when theyโ€™re called out, even if they will not be alive to see its effect.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 months
This month makes it 10 years since the mass abduction of the Chibok Girls. I wrote about how creatives through film and literature are utilizing their craft in raising awareness, and sustaining the call for the release of the Chibok Girls:
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
Let us remember not to turn this dead man into a saint while expressing our condolences, because he clearly wasnโ€™t one. We can have open dialogues about suicide without canonizing victims of suicide.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
*Discussing feminism with your Nigerian aunties* You: I believe men and women should be treated equally, with fairness and justice. Them: So you want to be a man abi? You want to be a man! Just say you want to be a man and go!
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
8 months
This month, I wrote for @luvblkgrls about the โ€˜transactionalโ€™ nature of modern dating, you can read here. . For @adventuresfrom_ , I told the stories of underrepresented women; a single mum, an asexual woman, a long-distance woman,
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
So what began as a short thread on here evolved into an almost-as-short piece on the blog. Inspired by: All the Nigerian male singers in the country. You guys are wonderful.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
What have I been saying edakun? Humility (especially in regards to women) is fucking overrated. A lame ass tool used in shutting down and stifling women. *Woman complains she doesn't like the way she's being treated* Society: Be humble woman! *Woman stands up for herself
@Doreenglm
Doreen๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿพ
6 years
Humility is the one virtue women should run away from, because it is expected so much from us. What reason could there be for us to have a modest view of our accomplishments? Who benefits from us having a low sense of importance? Surely not us. All it does, is help us accept less
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
7 years
#AsAnEqualAfricanWoman , I am the crown of my head. Not a man, and not my marriage. I and I alone.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
9 months
Hey gaiz. Iโ€™m seeking out people who often go unacknowledged/unrepresented where Valentine is concerned for a feature Iโ€™m working on for Adventures magazine. This includes single parents who arenโ€™t coupled up, long-distance couples, asexual/aromantic people, & non-monogamous part
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
5 months
For @okayafrica , I interviewed Olufemi Oguntamu aka Penzaar, whose talent agency is home to some of the biggest creators in the country including Layi Wasabi, Kiekie & Broda Shaggi. He tells us what itโ€™s like to manage content creators in Nigeria:
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Shalom
6 years
Logging off Twitter for a while. Head is banging, life is banging. Not doing too well. Send love and light my way. And prayers, too.
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Shalom
6 years
Must be so nice being a married Nigerian man, knowing that no matter what you do and no matter what happens, if your marriage fails, your wife will get 99.9 of the blame for not โ€˜making it workโ€™ for not โ€˜enduringโ€™ for not being โ€˜respectful enoughโ€™ for not โ€˜praying hard enoughโ€™.
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Shalom
6 years
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
2 years
โ€œYou find yourself deputy parenting -- even subconsciously in every aspect of your life.โ€ My piece about eldest African daughters is live on AMAKA magazine. Please read and share, thank youu.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
THIS IS HOW MUCH MEN HATE WOMEN. Mad gan.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
7 months
Would like to speak to an 'nwa boy' (or former) for an @OkayAfrica article about the movie #Afamefuna . Brief chat. Please send a dm if this is you or you know someone. Please retweet.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
Side note: empowering women does not 'disempower' men smh.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
How To Make A Hit Nigerian Song (THREAD) 1. Start with shouting. Shout your name, your biography, shout out curses, sha shout. Any type of shouting is accepted. Make sure it's offbeat too; the more offbeat the better.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
โ€œOK oyah how are men oppressing you?โ€ JAMB QUESTION! Donโ€™t engage them. They know exactly how they oppress us and they just want to โ€œcounterโ€ your โ€œpointsโ€ because to them the quest for equality is still a โ€œdebateโ€ that you either win or lose. Rubbish.
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Shalom
3 years
@KaineSays This is literally how it begins in the romcoms. ๐Ÿ˜‚
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
His death doesnโ€™t get to erase all of the terrible things that he did while living.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
Ladies, tomorrow is Valentineโ€™s day. Remember that men are trash. Tell a friend who will tell a friend before going on that blind date. Send ALL OF HIS DAMN DETAILS to your folks: phone number, address, all of it. Order everything on the menu, spend his dough.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
Same โ€œNot all menโ€ gang members are the ones who will ask their seven year-old daughters to cover up when the electrician/plumber is around. Same men who will say to their teenage daughters โ€œThese boys just want to use you, you canโ€™t trust themโ€ and
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
7 years
#AsAnEqualAfricanWoman , I want an Africa (and a world at large) where women can Be. Be true to themselves. Be true with themselves. Be true for themselves. #AsEquals
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
7 years
#AsAnEqualAfricanWoman , if you're marrying me because you want to live in a neat home and eat good food, then I'm marrying you because I want to live in a neat home and eat good food as well. #SayNo to gender roles. #asequals
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
8 months
Hi gaiz, Iโ€™d like to speak with you for an article I'm writing if you've grappled with the commodification of love during Valentineโ€™s szn/pressures to โ€œgo bigโ€ with gifts, gestures, public displays of affection. Consumer culture/romance commercialization/material expectations -
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
9 months
So Iโ€™m also writing about the transactional nature of modern love, dating & relationships for Black Girl Times. Seeking real life experiences from both men & women. Do you have personal stories of how transactional expectations/transactional aspects in love, romance, dating, etc
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
@jimixdean If the thought of two people having sex throws you off I think you should just kuku complete the job and throw yourself off a cliff. Ntoroanamekere.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
Dear women, be unhumble and be unhumble with your whole chest. Finish.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
10 months
Wrote for @BlackBalladUK about the obligations of domestic labour and gendered expectations placed on Black women during the festive season.
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Shalom
6 years
@digitalMkter101 Thank you ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™
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Shalom
6 years
@HussainVictor1 Wow oma se o. You have just said โ€œthis is Africaโ€ โ€œhunting is how obsoleteโ€ โ€œyou have no pointโ€ โ€œmen are superior to womenโ€ and etcetera, 26 words and still not one fucking sense. No wonder they say yโ€™all the logical gender.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
Lmao I don't even think people realize how dumb it is to illegalize abortion. It's like illegalizing premarital sex. Will it still happen? Hahaha. Obvsss. That's why we have safe measures; condoms, etc. I don't know why we can't realize the truth and do the same with abortion.
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Shalom
6 years
Just watched Descendants with my little sis for the umpteenth time and thought to share this message: Dear young girls out there, you do not have to dumb yourselves down to get a boy. Any boy who is intimidated by you does not deserve a SECOND of your time. Happy new year.
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Shalom
6 years
An Ode To The Newborn Girl Child:
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Shalom
6 years
I needed this โค
@theslumflower
THE SLUMFLOWER
6 years
I wrote a letter to my younger self for the new @ASOS magazine. I hope this means something to you too.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
8 months
@greyfinance closed the $ acct they issued to me in January (after weeks of waiting). & worst part, they waited for me to find out this afternoon that the acct (which I've sent out invoices with) has been closed, rather than forewarning me.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
shamed, dragged and dehumanized while he would be hailed and at worst, teased. He was not wrong. As though revenge porn was not enough, Asiwaju then cried suicide and told us his mother had died after seeing the accusations on Twitter.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
Eeyah. This is why โ€œgrow a pairโ€ shouldnโ€™t even be a thing. One kick and yโ€™all dead. Pussies take poundings. Pussies literally pop out human beings. Want someone to start acting in a strong, courageous manner? Nothing inspires more than โ€œGrow a pussy.โ€
@Azaya69
#FreeMubarakBala
6 years
I was bathing this evening and I mistakenly hit my balls. I had to squat for like 5 mins trying my best not to shed hot tears.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
5 years
Gave my seven year-old sister the sex talk yesterday. Slipped in the consent bit as well. Now she asks me, โ€œShalom can I kiss you?โ€ but she also asks things like, โ€œShalom can I eat?โ€ and โ€œShalom can I sing my song?โ€ and โ€œShalom can I dance?โ€ Iโ€™ve created a consent monster๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
7 months
Seeking a Nigerian/African gynaecologist to provide some comments for an investigative article about Nigerian women's health for @5050oD . If this is you/you know someone, please reach out to me via dm, thanks.
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Shalom
6 years
Menstruation that without it, the human race wouldnโ€™t be here? Make it make sense pls.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
Explaining one feminist concept or another to a guy over & over again and his โ€œhomieโ€ explains THE EXACT SAME THING to him once & suddenly itโ€™s as if I was speaking French to him but Homie finally spoke English & now he gets it.
@asangelwassayin
The Angel of Consistent Doings ๐Ÿฆ‹
6 years
O jewa ke eng? (Living as an outspoken Feminist in Nigeria version)
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Shalom
6 years
How To Not Be Trash. (A Brief Do-Good Manual For Men). . .
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Shalom
5 months
@BigBadReni I raise you unattractive AND boring. Crazy things are happening.
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Shalom
5 months
โ€œIn everything you write. . .even when youโ€™re representing characters that are not likable, give them their dignity, their nobility.โ€ Interviewed Kenyan American writer Peres Owino, who received 12 Daytime Emmy nominations for her Netflix docudrama Njinga:
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 months
#Journorequest Are there lawyers/ legal experts/activists willing to provide some comments for an @OkayAfrica article about naira mutilation, Bobriskyโ€™s sentence, the precedent that this sets and what this means for Nigerians moving forward?
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
4 years
@onosowobo I hope people realize, and preferably soon, that threats and silencing isnโ€™t activism, that the loudest voice isnโ€™t the rightest, that because others are nodding their heads, or parroting your rhetoric doesnโ€™t neccesarily mean they believe you; that now, the loudest voice wins,
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
Abortion is the taking of a life & cum is a component of life so basically all of you giving head & swallowing cum have murdered innocent children. Youโ€™ve swallowed & shat out future presidents & inventors & world changers๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ’” You evil murderers. May you all rot in hell ijn.
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
Imagine marrying a man with no home training, a man who cannot pay for your love with domestic labour. Tufia! God forbid bad tin!
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
and projects her voice* Society: Be humble woman! *Woman refuses to be silenced or bullied in a male dominated world* Society: Be humble woman! *Woman refuses to fit into the box designed for her by culture, society and religion* Society: Be humble woman!
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@ShalomEsene
Shalom
6 years
Youโ€™ll never appreciate your semi-liberal African parents until you go spend the holidays with your super-conservative African relatives. On the second day of arrival my super wealth, posh, educated, fine aunties actually sat me down to lecture me about feminism.
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