Sarah Kendall @Sarah_Kendall Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@HaneHenrie57036

@ClkHighBaseball

@DymmSultan

@mobgrip

@omiso_pasta

@DetPikachuMovie

@FyAmrat

@DreamLabStudio1

@AmmiHirsch

@pureMetatron

@1453_mine

@udin12344566

@rarara_max

@FemdomDaily

@zulalyzgn27

@yourfave001

@cetin_karabiyik

@m_s_hsankus

@townesy77

@CoachJohn423

@asgr_pww

@saraymnn

@RotterdamZoo

@Yuksel0834_

@ElliotMalin

@Dianee84496001

@camdoody

@L8_AF

@nppghanahq

@visionaryeddie_

@JskytyEvans

@KeneAkers

@Blackdoveart

@ughilyt

@GeetanDiMachine

@honeya__150

Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

20 days

Is there a name for the time between 4am-7am where you wake up for a wee, then start thinking about how you don’t like it when Tom Hiddleston dances and then you end up worrying about the end of democracy and that no one likes you and then you doze for 30min? What’s that called?

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 months

They had to recast his role in Despicable Me because of all the rape allegations.

Russell Brand

@rustyrockets

2 months

Pray for our leaders.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

This ‘hatred’ Piers Morgan and Jeremy Clarkson claim to feel for Meghan Markle- while lying awake at night imaging her naked- is overt sexual obsession. It’s staggering that this is being played out publicly.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

This was on at like 4pm

Horror4Kids

@horror4kids

2 years

Australian children’s television series ��Round The Twist’.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

10 months

Mutter to myself “fucking typical”

𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆🫧💚

@beyoncegarden

10 months

what would you do in this situation?

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

Imagine being British and complaining about feeling colonised.

Alex Phillips

@ThatAlexWoman

1 year

Living in London I get homesick for England It’s not ours anymore. It’s not British.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

No matter what your politics are, surely we all agree that watching anything on your phone in a public space without your headphones on is an act of wilful cuntery.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

For people like me who have known of Andrew Tate for about 3 days, it really has been quite a ride. No notes.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

Why is it that I don’t follow Sophie Corcoran but I’m suddenly seeing all her tweets? Is that a new thing?

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 months

@Rampage_Spartan Omg so true edgelord

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 months

@leon_alders The allegations didn’t come up suddenly though. It’s been years.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

20 days

@arthurdeigh Bloody Steinbeck.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

7 months

I love that Chi has responded to this nasty bullying schoolyard bitch shit by just being her talented hilarious self ❤️

Lucia Keskin

@chiwithaC

7 months

OH Stace?

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

19 days

@hwinkler4real Um lifelong fan here. This has made my day x

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

10 months

They must’ve cut the bit where she screams into a pillow for eternity

cold 🥑

@coldhealing

10 months

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

I just bumped into a friend walking with a baby asleep in a pram. We chatted and when I said ‘you’re shitting me!’ she covered the sleeping baby’s ears. I have just discovered I hate her.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

Bus went past with a massive advert for the Elvis movie, my daughter said ‘who’s Elvis?’ This tweet is for everyone who works in show business: we really shouldn’t worry too much about our careers.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

I moved out of a property 3 months ago, left it in really good condition, and Foxtons won’t return my phone calls or answer my emails regarding my deposit. Any suggestions what I should do @foxtons ? Pretty sure I would’ve been evicted if I’d been 3 months late on rent.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

I love waking up to calm silence, reaching for my phone, and reading a long twitter spat between people I don’t know on a topic I don’t understand.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

20 days

@PhelpsieSarah Does listing which pets I would and wouldn’t eat in an apocalypse count? (Turns out I’d eat all the pets)

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

3 months

For clarity: the abuse of a horse has lead to the perpetrator being rightfully banned from the Olympics. The rape of a 12 year old girl has lead to the perpetrator… oh.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

It’s so great when you’ve hated Maroon 5 for this long to have something this solid to work with.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

6 months

Bottom right has ambition and I like that in a bat.

Dr Helen Ingram

@drhingram

6 months

We’ve reached that point in the week where we would all benefit from seeing some baby bats eating bananas

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

23 days

I can’t be the only person who’d be more excited to see a dog painted like a panda than see an actual panda.

Dexerto

@Dexerto

25 days

Chinese Zoo admits their “pandas” were painted dogs via AsiaWire

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

This is how I would reach my word count when I was in high school

Farrukh

@implausibleblog

1 year

Penny Mordaunt, "Stand up and fight, because when you stand up and fight, the person beside you stands up and fights. And when our party stands up and fights, the nation stands up and fights. And when our nation stands up and fights, other nations stand up and fight. And they

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

4 months

Rishi Sunak

@RishiSunak

4 months

Biological sex matters. We’re protecting women and girls.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

Ben’s quite right. I’m 46 and I think he looks like an absolute bellend.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

11 months

Cooking the right amount of spaghetti

David

@paskana_

11 months

what do you think is harder than this?

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

5 months

Every morning I get woken up at 5am by tweeting birds who have nested in a tree outside my room. Tomorrow I’m setting my alarm for 3am and I’m shouting into that tree WAKE UP FUCKHEADS

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

Nope they all suck ladies are so dumb and their periods make me 🤮 BOYS ROCK

Matthew Marsden

@matthewdmarsden

2 years

Are female comedians funny. If “yes”, who are they?

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

When I get take-out curry I demurely spoon out half the contents of the container knowing full well I will not only finish the other half, I will drink the sauce out of the container on the way to the bin.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

On the one hand I want to leave twitter, on the other hand I don’t want to miss the unravelling of James Corden.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

20 days

@MrsMWhiteadder Here’s what unfair: I’ve been sober for 18 months and I still have shit sleep

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

If you’re ever unsure about just how little a fuck our society gives about young girls…

Cinema Solace

@SolaceCinema

1 year

New films from Roman Polanski and Woody Allen will premiere at the Venice Film Festival…

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

6 months

First they came for Tzatziki, and I did not speak out

hallowain (like halloween, geddit?) 🎃

@orhunt

6 months

imagine the word gnocchi. imagine how one might say gnocchi. imagine how one might pronounce gnocchi badly. then listen.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

Prince Andrew Prince Andrew Prince Andrew Prince Andrew Prince Andrew

Paul Joseph Watson

@PrisonPlanet

2 years

The mob after Jeremy Clarkson this morning for pointing out Meghan Markle is an inherently unlikeable fake person and then joking about flinging poo at her. No amount of faux outrage and hysteria over "misogyny" can conceal the fact that, yes indeed, she is a detestable grifter.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

20 days

@tghelani ok I’m now messaging you at 4am this is all good stuff

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

Finally. An arrowproof car.

Ian Miles Cheong

@stillgray

1 year

Joe Rogan fires an arrow at the cybertruck while Elon smokes a cigar. It’s arrowproof.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

Ok we’re now beyond parody.

Kyle Rittenhouse

@ThisIsKyleR

2 years

People need to start being held accountable.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

I love that I’ve been on this site for over a decade, and at the top of my ‘for you’ page is always an NFL interview with some man I’ve never heard of from some team called like the Utah Dolphins.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

Damn just watched Muriel’s Wedding again, that scene where Toni Collette and Rachel Griffiths mime Waterloo! The uncertainty turning to confidence and then losing themselves in the joy as the crowd goes wild…. Perfect moment in a perfect film.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

10 months

I recently had a very terse text message exchange with a real estate agent, and I’ve just remembered my WhatsApp profile is me dressed as a foam oyster.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

I remember meeting Cal Wilson a thousand years ago when we were both starting out at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. I liked her instantly. Over the years she was one of those people I was always so happy to see when festival time came around. Sending so much love to her family. X

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

My children just witnessed the miracle of me licking the AAA batteries to get the remote control to work for one more day. My Sony Walkman taught me well.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

I was in a beer garden and Harvest Moon started playing. A couple got up and started slow dancing, and the whole beer garden watched on with what I can only describe as complete and total loathing. Still very proud of all those strangers gathered that day.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

This looks like a bunch of sweet kids in cool clothes have I missed something

𝙒𝙪𝙡𝙛.

@aero_wulf

1 year

The zoomers have gone insane

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

Funny how pretty much every man on this shit site claiming to speak truth to the Matrix is also a sexual predator.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

Imagine if the king declined a coronation in light of the cost of living crisis and instead channeled all that money into the charities he supports. Instead, we’re invited to pledge allegiance to the guy in the silly hat now that the stone of destiny had arrived.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

What’s so interesting about Liz Truss is that she is exactly what I would sound like if you asked me questions about interests rates.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

11 months

I’m sorry but the death of Bing Bong in Inside Out destroys me every fucking time.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

12 days

I’m sorry but there is only one Juror I care about and it’s The Rural Juror.

DiscussingFilm

@DiscussingFilm

13 days

First poster for Clint Eastwood’s ‘JUROR #2 ’ The film follows a juror in a high-profile murder trial who realises he actually committed the murder. In theaters on November 1.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

I just got a promoted ad for the world’s #1 catholic prayer app I’m not sure the algorithm is as sophisticated as we thought

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

Gentle.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

10 months

Aw shit we’re wearing the same outfit AGAIN

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 month

That can’t be…. GENE PARMESAN?????!!!

Letterboxd

@letterboxd

1 month

BREAKING NEWS: Clue (1985) just received a 55 minute standing ovation from me in my living room after watching it for the 200th time

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

I remember a time when I barely thought about Elon Musk.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

5 months

I genuinely thought that everybody does this

Introvert Problems

@IntrovertProbss

5 months

This is so true 🤣

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

6 months

This is not goofy. A goof will: -smear chocolate brownie in the napkin and pretend to wipe her bum -pour ketchup into a tissue, blow her nose and pretend it’s a medical crisis -pepper conversations with ‘asphinctersayswhat?’ so that you say ‘what?’ My culture is not a costume.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

13 days

I am so tired of seeing clips on this site of people who are extremely vulnerable, being filmed either without their knowledge or permission. All for clicks and engagement. It’s craven.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

A while ago I tweeted @foxtons that my landlord withheld a portion of my deposit unfairly. They were useless. Then this hero @TomMelville1 DM’d me legal advice. With a small amount of legal pressure the landlord has return the full sum. Tom thanks so much you champ x

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

Had a fight in traffic today, I told a man ‘you drive like a prick’ and he responded ‘you drive like a fat cunt’ so I think we both displayed a solid grasp of similes.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

I can’t stop watching tik toks where some American woman is basically pouring 3 litres of butter over canned cheese saying ‘this is gonna be YUMMY’

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

Today I put air in my car tyres at the petrol station and realised I was nodding at fellas like we all worked together in a steel factory.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

11 months

And yet deep down I know I’m the centre of it.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

This is messed up and gross but also why is his head 3 times the size of hers

Pop Crave

@PopCrave

1 year

Dane Cook, 51, marries longtime partner Kelsi Taylor, 24, after six years of dating.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

11 months

Jesus wept this lift WREAKS of guff and you’re the only one here so I know you dropped your guts I’m joking i just farted.

Mercedes Blanche

@mszrsmerci

1 year

You have 6 seconds to talk to me 👋 what would you say? 🤐

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

11 months

Finally. We’re back on topic.

Shirley Carter’s Pussy

@shirlpuzz

11 months

I physically cannot cope with this

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

6 months

Just when I think I’m going to leave twitter….

derek guy

@dieworkwear

6 months

I disagree that you dress like Cary Grant. In this thread, I will list some of the ways in which your dress differs and why such important details matter. 🧵

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

If Tom Hanks shouted at me to ‘back the fuck up’ I would soil myself and cry forever

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

Instead of us being constantly disappointed by celebrities we should probably just start with the assumption that most of them are total assholes.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

I was loudly announcing that I was STARVING because I hadn’t eaten since breakfast then I remembered I had a large Big Mac meal for lunch.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

Look how stunned I am. IN CHARACTER.

C21 Media

@C21Media

2 years

Winner of the Best Individual Performance in a Comedy-Drama Series is @Sarah_Kendall for #FrayedTV S2 #C21DramaAwards #ContentLondon

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

6 months

It’s an unflinching look at the lolly pop industry.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

21 days

Black Mirror pitch: it’s exactly like our reality, except film and television is filled with 60 year old women who look as rough as 60 year old men.

Netflix

@netflix

23 days

This Nicole Kidman meltdown is a new classic.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

Coincidentally, also how I celebrated my 16th birthday

Andy Roberts

@scaryfish

2 years

The best headline ever.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

4 months

Sometimes I really love this hell hole site

💛serenity now 🏴‍☠️

@MissesDread

4 months

Weird, since Camilla didn't seem to give a shit about protocol back when she was fucking the Princess Of Wales' husband

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

The amount of hatred being directed at Meghan is so off the fucking charts it’s embarrassing.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

Hi @foxtons I’ve just been informed that my ex-landlord is claiming redecorating expenses out of my deposit, as he’s now selling the flat I rented. Feels exceptionally douchey, what are your thoughts?

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

11 months

I can’t get enough of this. He is such a train wreck.

Alexander Hamilton 🇺🇸

@TheeThomasB

11 months

Musk: “The only reason I am here, Jonathan, is because you are a friend.” Andrew: “I am Andrew.”

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

So I hit repost instead of quote and now I cannot undo the repost, so now I’ve just reposted a video of a laser gun WITHOUT my snarky comment attached, so it looks like I just like laser guns why is this site so fucked I hate it

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 months

You know when a man unironically starts a tweet with that word it’s gonna be an absolute shitshow.

Adam Lane Smith | The Attachment Specialist

@AdamLaneSmith

2 months

Ladies - Expecting him to do things "without me asking" is part of your problem.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

Knew it.

The Independent

@Independent

1 year

Goldie Hawn reveals that she met 'aliens' in her 20s who 'touched her face'

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

7 months

I dream of being fucked up by this kind of wealth

Annie Morris

@DesperateAnnie

7 months

Elton John’s ‘don’t do drugs’ tale is quite something

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

Everything about this tweet has aged so beautifully.

Julia Hartley-Brewer

@JuliaHB1

2 years

I'd choose Andrew Tate's life *every single time* over the life of a half-educated, doom-mongering eco-cultist. And the only car I own is a diesel Tiguan. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 1/2

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

Awwww Bring Your Daughter to Work Day!!! So sweet 💕

Dane Cook

@DaneCook

2 years

Hangin’ w/ the woman I love.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

Um I need the details of how to enter this contest….

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

20 days

@PhelpsieSarah So excited to do it all again in about 12 hours time 😍

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

@KerryAGodliman To end the debate: no, they are not. No woman has ever, in all of human history, intentionally said or done anything humorous.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

Fantastic announcement on the train just now, “Ladies and gentlemen, we are currently running 4 minutes ahead of schedule, in the scheme of things this means… nothing.”

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

6 months

And yet when I swallow a beach towel I get nothing but insults.

Nature is Amazing ☘️

@AMAZlNGNATURE

6 months

Team of vets pull AN ENTIRE BEACH TOWEL out of a python in Australia – with their bare hands.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

10 months

As of 2024 this is how I enter every room

Clarine

@BIGPIKLIZ

10 months

Cher girls!

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

20 days

@Alifromthedeli Yeah you’ll punch a hole in the wall

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

7 months

Holy moly Girls5Eva is so fucking hilarious. I just accidentally inhaled all 3 seasons in one week. Someone please make more pleeeeeeaaaasssse

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

10 months

Ok now I get why people go nuts about dogs. I officially retract all my snark.

Noble Ron

@perry_ron

10 months

Good doggo!

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

I believe we’ve reached the end.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

1 year

Hey Queen Mary looks like Dennis Waterman yeah I’m procrastinating

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

Oh my god he’s like the worst mc in the worst comedy club

Pop Crave

@PopCrave

2 years

Matty Healy of The 1975 reacts to a fan telling him their name at an album signing event.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

10 months

he’s not even good at ‘acting’ shopping

Sky News

@SkyNews

10 months

Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has been seen at King's Cross railway station purchasing seasonal treats, which were reportedly for key workers. Latest politics news 👉

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

Elon Musk is like the unpopular kid whose parents go away for the weekend so he hosts a big party but spends the whole fucking party reminding everyone it’s HIS house.

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Sarah Kendall

@Sarah_Kendall

2 years

Please someone make 6 one hour eps of this

Michael Spicer

@MrMichaelSpicer

2 years

Half of British television always starts like this.

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