Paul Lyons @Plyons251 Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@ArabianMancs

@stwmaniax

@SnehaShahJain

@NinoPeluche

@solitye

@FwbKhusus

@stwtutik

@r_blackburne

@ClimateWhistles

@YisibN78998

@AsianMILFClub

@melegvagyok_

@chrisperception

@yxakirves

@Theene356181

@RayKol719650

@MULIHAOHAO

@raybanded

@DeeperWeys

@Vinicio18080944

@james_veni

@twunk4fun

@frostyhk

@V0HFg4pfurfbNh4

@fei_feiwan

@FBerktay

@imparixit

@sotocahot

@monikaweitzel1

@pencitaemanedut

@AyuNyimas69

@AsianMILFClub

@PinoOscr_

@Anyinupinokkio

@lelelzebu

@stw46

Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

The microwave in the Mess is broken so all the F1s are organising a bake sale for a new one. Isn’t that one of the most tragic things you’ve heard? These exceptionally hard working doctors having to fundraise for a MICROWAVE to heat up their stingy on call dinners 😞

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

8 months

Car park at my hospital has decided to put the barrier down to non permit holders Junior doctors can’t get permits When asking the attendants where I CAN park for my WORK: “No idea. Try your chances on a double yellow maybe” Ideal working conditions

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

I PASSED PACES!! I PASSED PACES!!!! I BLOODY PASSED PACES!!!!! I CANNOT CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT OMG (and my minor fear of being a med reg) SOMEBODY HUG ME!!!!

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 months

One of the most worrying observations from my last set of shifts: There are so many patients waiting in corridors, the corridor has now been given an official name on the system “The sub-waiting area” It’s terrifying. We need help tbh.

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

To get parked at my hospital you have to get to the place at 8 and sit there for an hour And this morning, someone in the car next to me is performing a FULL SKINCARE ROUTINE which has thus far involved at least four different products for their face and I’m LOVING IT

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

1 year

Sitting next to a consultant today She just randomly starts laughing. Proper chortling. I was like “haha what is it?” And she just said “Oh I’m just so done” and walked away giggling And it was such a mood I loved it

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

4 months

Tell me you’re doing NHS mandatory E learning without telling me you’re doing NHS mandatory E learning

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

@AngCooperman Good CHOICE you made there

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

7 months

And so it’s happened I, the med reg on call, have been emergency bleeped…to a fire. I am terrified

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 months

ALSO while I’m ranting At the top of the payroll system it says “remember it is the employee’s responsibility to ensure they are paid correctly” 😂😂 how absurd Payroll has ONE JOB Imagine if I said to patients “Remember. YOU have to ensure you get the right medicine 😘”

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

8 months

I “took a chance” with the double line as the parking attendants at my hospital suggested Guess it didn’t work With morale already on the floor, this doesn’t help anyone

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

1 year

A person came up to me in the gym having noticed my scrubs “Are you a doctor?” Yes “Last week I suddenly couldn’t move my right leg or feel my face” Right. Maybe go to A&E in case you’ve had a stroke? “Ah yes ok thank you” *SITS DOWN AND STARTS DOING BENCH PRESSES* ?!?!

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

1 year

Staff nurse today. Casual as you like: “I think we’re about to have sewage running down the walls today. The last time it smelled like this, that’s what happened” I have never heard anything more NHS in my life

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

4 months

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I’VE FINISHED IMT! I’VE FINISHED IMT!! Somebody (anyone, everyone) HUG ME IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

5 months

A final year student I supervise is stressed AF as they’ve been RANDOMLY given a region of the UK for work but have not been given a JOB and won’t be given one til 4 weeks before STARTING but they have to apply for a visa which takes EIGHT weeks?! How the hell is this ok @UKFPO ?

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

Today, without prompting, a consultant who knew I was interested in his specialty bought me a coffee and took me to chat about how to help me along in my career. IT WAS SO NICE I COULD HAVE CRIED AND IT MAKES ME WANNA DO RHEUM EVEN MORE 🥹🥹🥹🥹

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 years

We have reached the point in the pandemic where my consultant today can no longer be arsed trying to get the blue film off the visors So he’s just going in with the blue film still on his face Surreal. Hysterical. Tragic. Kinda love it

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

5 months

There’s an odd comfort in knowing that, no matter how life goes, there are some guarantees. Some constants One of these constants: There will always be a very unwell human, with bilateral leg amputations, smoking a cigarette, with their drip hanging, outside the hospital at 9pm

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

Went in to a delirious patient: “Oh holy god above what have I DONE to deserve being pursued by this pasty blonde bastard?!?!” I appreciate the poetic nature even if I don’t appreciate the sentiment

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

9 months

Dictating letters is a NIGHTMARE. I come out with the most ridiculous things under the pressure “This man, who keeps a delightful array of birds, has a normal Doppler USS. No follow up required, and I hope his birds remain healthy. Yours sincerely” The poor secretaries

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

Currently having a conversation with the FY1 on the ward who is absolutely BAFFLED by me using the expression “the back of 9” to refer to time Apparently she’s never heard this before?! Am I being crazy?!

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 months

Can we stop putting out every patient for weekend bloods to “monitor CRP” when the CRP is 80 and patient is on appropriate abx? Please I BEG YOU (From a tired IMT3 almost finished a Saturday ward support shift)

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

5 months

Still my fave kind of interaction with patients: “So what brings you in” “Aw I have a swollen leg Doc” “Ok, when did that start?” “1988” “Oh! So what brings you in specifically today then?” “Not a f*cking clue” Fab 😂

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

In a restaurant with my my boyfriend. An older (70+) gay couple next to us. One of them leans over - “you two are so lucky. It makes my heart happy that you can be here, like this, without being scared.” I am NAHT ok 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

9 months

Just heard staff discussing a patient and saying “yes they’re a corridor patient” As if a corridor patient is just a thing now And the sad thing is…a corridor patient is indeed a thing now. It’s sad. It’s scary. And surely it was avoidable Fml

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

11 months

Went in to try a cannula on a patient As I start looking, they start praying: “Oh holy god above, please let this baby boy know what the hell is is doing” repeatedly I got it Divine. Intervention.

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

When you call to discuss something with a specialty and a PAL ANSWERS. It’s like OMG CAN YOU HELP?! And they’re like YES I CAN And you’re like THANK YOU OMG and it’s just so NICE

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

The heart sink when you ask a patient “so what brought you in to hospital?” And they start… “It all started in 1982” ???? No

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

1 year

2 days into my new job and a nurse I don’t know just said “YOU MUST BE BOUNCY PAUL!” And I was like omg what “That’s what we call you. You’re bouncy” WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 months

I’ve just been sent this by a close friend of mine currently applying for medicine It is from the UCAT So even from PRE ADMISSION, the propaganda starts Because of course the CORRECT answer here, is … hire more doctors But…don’t be so ridiculous. Right?

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 years

Nurse in MAU: are you just finishing?! Me (enthusiastically): no! I’m actually staying for another year! Nurse: No, I mean are you finishing a night shift Me: oh. No. Just starting Nurse: great! Bed 4 needs a cannula And so a new year begins. Beautiful #medtwitter

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

Absolute babe of a consultant today: “You guys NEED TO STRIKE! I’ll hold the page! (I won’t be competent but YOU SHOULD STILL STRIKE)” This is what we need 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 years

The AGONY and heart crushing SORROW of losing your jobs list in the middle of a medical ward cover weekend 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫 I am in distress

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 months

My enthusiasm for my night shift was quickly STIFLED upon discovering there were 60 Patients Waiting To Be Seen I cannot fully express my displeasure in a tweet

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

4 months

For a minute I thought this was a joke But no Instead, it’s some dystopian nightmare @NHSEngland @gmcuk Seriously??

Dr Rachel Clarke

@doctor_oxford

4 months

I’m simply horrified to see @NHSEngland now literally breaking the law in how it misrepresents physician associates & other allied health professional - who are NOT doctors - to the public. These posters are from the Bradford District & Craven Health & Care Partnership. 1/n

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 years

A nurse thrust a bedpan containing a particularly huge poop in my face today to ask if I “needed to do anything with it”. I did not need to do anything with it. And I still haven’t recovered.

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 months

Me BOUNCING into see my first patient of the day: “Morning!!” Her: “Christ. You look how I feel” Me: “oh? How do I look then?” Her: “bloody dreadful” Good start to the day

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 years

The weekend day team came in half an hour early to relieve us on night shift cause of the clocks changing. It makes me emosh and happy. Team work is amazing 😍 @UHMonklands @NHSLanarkshire

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

6 months

This poster makes me sad And confused And doesn’t really tell me anything at all What a success

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

1 year

Very elderly couple. Husband just been discharged Wife: “Remember to say thank you as you leave” Husband: “Jesus Christ woman I’m 88!” “Well you still forget sometimes dear” I love them. I love them so much.

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 years

Just paid my £500 to get access to the portfolio that is COMPULSORY for my training programme. I’m away to cry in a corner bye

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 years

@AliviaPharmD A couple years I had a patient who’s allergy was: “The colour yellow” Had to remove all yellow signs and equipment from their room. I shit you not. Madness

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 years

When a CONSULTANT actually comes up to YOU to ask if you WANT to do an assessment omg 😍😍😍 At the end of a set of nights, such kindness almost (definitely) made me emotional Top stuff

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

15 days

Doing a clinical shift today Patient: “what age are you son?” “29” “Are you married yet?” “Oh goodness no” “Good. Keep it that way. It’s f***ing miserable” I do miss patient chat ngl

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

1 year

Shout out to the delightful OOH GP who looked at my throat, hysterically went “Ew oh dear ok” and promptly prescribed the Pen V I’ve been craving Love you 💚

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 years

I’m gonna be an Internal Medicine Trainee!!!! Hug me 🥳🤗🤗🤗🤗

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

Currently googling “can one ejaculate through a catheter” (For work purposes) How’s your day going?

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

A 91 year old just referred to their husband as a “big shagger” and I’ve never been so shocked and thrilled all at once

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

6 months

I’m coming to the end of IMT (woop woop) but it does make me think about a uniquely stressful aspect of being a doctor We essentially face the prospect of unemployment…every few years…or every year…until we are mid-30s at the EARLIEST. That’s stressful af. Right?

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

@FlowerP79667758 Nursing isn’t a vocation. It’s profession, a job. It’s a skilled job. An essential job. But it’s a job. You didn’t mention any of the skills they have, many of which need are learned in places other than wards. Your narrative is the reason this JOB has been underpaid for years

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

5 months

An FY1 to me: “So do you sing in musicals?” Me: “oh goodness no” F1: “Oh. So just in work then?” Interesting. And sassy

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

7 years

I dreamt that @jk_rowling was my primary 7 teacher and we had a birthday party for her and made her a golden snitch cake and it was great

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

21 days

@JawgeMcG This “baby doctor” thing needs to STOP I’ve never heard anyone calling a brand new nurse a “baby nurse” (nor should that happen) Can you IMAGINE the consequences if we did? FY1? A doctor. A highly qualified, highly educated, very important professional

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 months

Ah of course As if changeover isn’t CHAOTIC ENOUGH I cannot find where induction is Because MY WORK EMAIL HAS BEEN LOCKED BECAUSE I HAVE CHANGED HEALTH BOARD Never change NHS. NEVER CHANGE (I’m joking, please change immediately)

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

4 years

@Opensout @rupert_pearse @andymoz78 And mortality rate is one thing. Morbidity is another. People in ICU aren’t dead ya know. The wonderful medicine going on there will hopefully help them survive. But at what cost? Damaged lungs? Atrophied muscles? Permanent brain damage? Mortality is not the only important stat

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

6 months

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am so epically delighted to find out I will be a Clinical Teaching Fellow @NHSLanarkshire from August. Always wanted to become more formally invovled in Med Ed and THIS IS THE TIME. Exciting af. Bring it on. @nhsl_meded

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

8 months

@PippaK10 Non permanent staff not allowed them! Neither are consultants … unless they work across two sites. And neither are staff nurses…becuase they arrive to work too early.

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

Just applied for PACES 🤢🤢🤢 Quite a unique feeling paying £657 for something you are INTENSELY not looking forward to

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

4 years

OUTCOME 6! FOUNDATION PROGRAMME COMPLETE!!! STARTING GEN MED AT MONKLANDS IN AUGUST!! HALLELUJAH That is all. Sorry for the caps I got carried away

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

@zackferguson They also have a limited understanding of how much anyone understood about this when applying for a university course at the age of 17.

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 years

@owenwilliam99 As much as I appreciate your sentiment, covid doesn’t care. If you get it, you could still die, or someone you give it to could die. Having “done your bit”? Makes no difference

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 months

I JUST FINISHED MY LAST NIGHT SHIFT OF IMT AHHHHH AHHHHH AHHH I GOT RAINED ON LEAVING WORK So I am wet. I am delirious. But I am HAPPY

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

1 month

@pa_StephenNash This isn’t a win I’m afraid. All these pilots you mention are still..pilots

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

1 year

Still no rota for August I JUST WANNA BOOK A DENTIST APPOINTMENT PLEASE OMG LET ME ADULT

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

First time working a day shift at Christmas There’s a comfort in knowing that no matter how merry the day, the NHS plods along exactly the same as any other day, but with more snacks

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

It’s when revising PACES at home, when you ask the pillow if you can move its breast to listen better to its heart, you ask yourself HOW THE HELL YOUR LIFE GOT HERE

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

PACES IS TOMORROW PACES IS TOMORROW PACES IS TOMORROW PACES IS TOMORROW SOMEONE SEDATE MEEEE 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

1 year

IMT2? COMPLETE!! Actually had a rather wonderful year, and now onto IMT3 (kinda med Reg kinda not, fully scary) LETS DO ITTTTT

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

Morning weekend radio is positively DISCRIMINATORY against weekend workers “ITS THE WEEKEND! Are you in bed with a cuppa? Getting ready for a day out? Tell us your plans!” Well George I am scoffing an apple and mentally preparing to do 52 cannulas on a medical ward thanks

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

@Lamboozler You can want better for your own profession while accepting other people also have it tough. This mentality of “other people have it tough so doctors can’t complain” is unhelpful and rather irrelevant.

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 years

@openmicben @RealDeniseWelch Some people are genuinely happy to do the sensible thing to protect themselves and others Ben

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

@chrispaget1 Wtf no it’s 9-9:30

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 months

Ah yes, because the Urethra so commonly walks into a patient’s room and describes itself as “part of the urinary system” Oh wait no

IncogPA

@IncogAssociate

3 months

Ah, the classic community notes. Many terms can easily confuse patients. Should we consider changing their names? Ureter vs. Urethra Reflex vs. Reflux Electrocardiogram vs. Echocardiogram Glucagon vs. Glycogen Cervical Ileum vs. Ilium Carotid vs. Parotid Creatine vs. Creatinine

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

1 year

Moral of the story: stop wearing scrubs to arrive at the gym

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

@Phoenixwmn @AngCooperman How many of the Supreme Court justices who just denied bodily autonomy to thousands of women are men? Out of interest?

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

6 months

Me, a medic, turning up to lead a periarrest of a patient with stridor and laryngospasm and realising my skill set is NAHT WHAT IS REQUIRED

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

@Somerstown4 @Dr_Ellie Hi Graham. Antibiotics, as with all medical treatments, are full of risks. Caring for your patient actually suggests you avoid any treatment until you know what the diagnosis is. I wouldn’t correlate antibiotics with caring.

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

5 months

The (only) great thing about working a brutal rota is MIDWEEK DAYS OFF! Strutting by people who are heading to work, whilst sipping my iced vanilla latte, looking all smug (Have I already worked 50 hours this week? Yes but let’s not mention that thank you)

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

1 year

It’s not full pay restoration, but it’s meaningful steps towards it. I’ll be accepting this one. The BMA have smashed it.

BMA Scotland

@BMAScotland

1 year

🗣️Junior doctors strikes in Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿suspended as improved offer to be put to BMA members - details from SJDC chair @ChrisSmith2211 below 👇

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

7 months

@xxsnzz Update: a toaster was ABLAZE. My contribution: “have we called the fire service?”

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

@thegradmedic ARGH! I couldn’t do the job of a nurse, likewise I’m sure nurses know they couldn’t do the job that I do. Because WE DO DIFFERENT JOBS AND EACH DESERVE FAIR PAY OMG. I can’t

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

7 months

The JOY! The ELATION! The BEAUTIFUL SURPRISE when a locum appears when you thought you were going to have to see the whole ward YOURSELF and now you DON’T It makes me so happy 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

4 years

@d237345p @Ana_at3am @undercoverlwlvr @rupert_pearse @PeterStefanovi2 Context: “I am an ICU consultant working in an ICU seeing who is in the ICU” You’re in denial. It’s ok. Just educate yourself and you’ll do better

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 years

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE MONKLANDS HOGMANAY TEAM!!!! Here’s to a lovely 2022 and good riddance to the woeful 2021 WOOOOO @zoecousland @UHMonklands @MonkeesED #HAPPYNEWYEAR2022

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 months

And also: I don’t think it’s fair to ask nurses to take on even MORE work…when they are also overstretched All of this is just a mess

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

11 months

Who are the best consultants and why is it ones who spontaneously buy you a coffee?

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

1 year

@jessdoe2000 @ClaaareKirwan I would say. Yes everyone deserves a pay rise. But often other HCPs will ask F1s to make big decisions simply because they’re the doctor. So I think if they’re being asked to make bigger decisions, they deserve to be remunerated well. But agree, everyone deserves more

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

3 years

Me: Playing some BEAUTIFUL Bach on my phone to engender a calming lovely atmosphere on the ward Nurse: “Paul son are you trying to push me over the F****** edge with that shite?” Harsh.

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

4 years

@usycool1 I failed my urinalysis section in 2nd year: I never got to testing the urine cause I couldn’t get my gloves on. At all. The pee remained unopened. I failed the urinalysis station. No. Joke. The shame

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

1 month

This morning I have to give new students a TOUR round a HOSPITAL in which I have NEVER WORKED It can only go well I’m sure

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

8 months

@dahontr3 Junior doctors are rotational: often get moved from somewhere 5 mins away, to somewhere 1.5 hour drive away. Poor public transport at many locations. Limited cycle lanes.

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

6 months

@mevparekh And several ????s when suggesting a diagnosis you know will be laughed at on the post take ward round. “?flare of IBD ??IBS ?????? acute intermittent porphyria”

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

1 year

I JUST SAW ACTUAL BLACK BLOT HAEMORRHAGES WHEN I TRIED TO DO FUNDOSCOPY!!!! I actually went “oh my goodness!” Which did not help reassure the patient but I was just so excited

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

7 months

Led a workshop on Treatment Escalation Planning with THIRD YEAR med students today And jeez some of the beautiful things they were coming out with: “We want to protect you from CPR” “What matters to you? And what if CPR affected that?” STUNNING. It made me happy

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

2 years

My boyfriend and I (both emergency service workers) are trying to arrange a thing we’ve been given as a gift We don’t have one day off together in July. And I don’t know my rota for august yet. I know these things are sometimes unavoidable…but they’re hard 🥺🥺🥺

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

5 months

@IM_Crit_ Me starting to read this: “Oh good, a case showing the importance of realistic Medici….wait”

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

5 months

Omg AWKWARD SCENES IN THE GYM CHANGING ROOM Very muscly man goes up to not so muscly, slightly over-weight man: “YOU MUST BE JUST STARTING YOUR JOURNEY!?” Other man nods awkwardly Muscly man HIGH FIVES HIM and says very loudly “It’s gonna take f*cking AGES!” What on earth

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

4 years

@ArbysMakesFries @SlimiHendrix @PetreRaleigh Harry constantly spoke about wanting to be an auror. Literally the whole series. And he spent the whole series basically being one. Just saying.

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

5 months

@Dr_ErinLS I say “plus plus” to show something is in a great amount. “That pasta was tasty plus plus plus”

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Paul Lyons

@Plyons251

5 months

@gmcuk By *different knowledge, I suspect you mean *less knowledge yes?

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