That's Madam To You. 🎀 @NthenyaKiilu Twitter profile | Pikagi

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That's Madam To You. 🎀

@NthenyaKiilu

10,043

Followers

1,759

Following

630

Media

24,078

Statuses

Non ducor, duco. It's not a tiara, I bedazzled my horns.

https://t.co/Sq9zB9lP9l

Joined May 2014

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

Pinned Tweet

@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

2 years

Unaona hizo vitu zinakukula kichwa leo? The things giving you sleepless nights and putting tears on your eyes today, a year from now you'll think about them and burst out laughing. And you will wonder how you made it through without losing your mind. Give time time. ❣️❣️❣️

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

8 months

Hakuna joint hii Nairobi inachezanga old skul RnB jamani? Sio kila mtu anapenda amapiano na Zobuzobu.😭😭😭😭 Some of us are 90' babies and we just want a night that makes us feel alive again.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Ati mnaweka your friends kama references kwa cv alafu wakipigiwa wanakataa kushika wakidhani ni watu wa Tala? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

One day I will tell ya'll the story of how your fav tweep anakujanga kuset standards huku but kwa ground rating ni 1 star. A friend's wife got texts of her and the hubbs kwa simu and all hell broke lose. Madam gets screwed for 2k na kuku ya KFC but huku mnamwaga mate kumwaga.😂

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Yaani I got myself this amazing long pleated skirt for an event we have today and this man just shamelessly told me " Siendi mahali na mukorino mimi ". Smh. Smdh! 😒😒😒

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

An mpesa message can cure anger,depression, acne,ugliness, heartbreak, loneliness, lack of appetite and 99 other diseases. Kama ni uongo semeni😅

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Alafu mnajifanya kushtuka as if you don't know broke niggas have the best dick. 😂😂😂😂

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Mnaonanga tukipost upuzi huku na tukicheka cheka na nyinyi mnafikiria we are serious mnatufuata kwa DM'S. Lol. We are people's wives. Hamjui jokes?😂😂😂😂😂

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Realizing that you are not your best friend's best friend will teach you a thing or two about exaggerating your position in people's lives. 😂😂😂😂

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

3 years

I saw a tweet here once that said ' Ukionyesha mwanaume unampenda anakutesa hadi ukufe' and everytime I think about it, I chuckle at the accuracy.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

The way you shift from being the guy who calls someone 'malaya mrefu' to a professional online business consultant......it's baffling.

@OsamaOtero

Sir-Rap-alot

5 years

halafu kama uko na biz twitter...kukuwa na pinned tweet haiwezi saidia sana for reach. Look at Mwachala and Nov, etc they keep on tweeting their hustles every single day they log in here...persistence is key

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Nani amedownload hio wimbo ya Willy Paul na Cecile anitumie nidelete? Pure mathogothanio that one.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Sasa how is someone supposed to start making new friends at twenty-something years? Fuck it I'll just be a lone ranger. Probably be one of those chics with no braids maids at her wedding cause I have tried and invested in female friendships but mahn are women toxic! 😓😓😓😓

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Hio pesa ya school fees ata babangu angenijengea kaploti mahali saa hii ningekua nachukua rent badala ya kua na hizi makaratasi zote na Nairobi naishi impoverished. Smh.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Ya kuichota uiweke kwa bag uibebe just in case ikwame kwa matope.

@enockmuthusi

Muthusi E🌅🇰🇪

6 years

Spade ni ya nini kwa vitz?

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Lol. Ushawai amka ukaskia tu kunyoa?! 😂😂😂

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Did this man seriously just come ask me for my number while pushing his baby's stroller?! The nerve!!!! 🚫🚫🚫🚫⛔

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

2 years

When Nairofey said "he wasn't even my type but ...." that's where I knew she fucked up.😂😂😂😂😂😂 Every time you lower your standards to accommodate a nigga, he will show you why you should never have. (Trust me, I know). Anyway, we wish healing and grace to the girlie.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

I am seeing women insulting and bashing insulting Lilian Muli for walking away from a cheating husband and I just wanna say shame on the lot of you. It doesn't matter what your opinions of her are. Nobody deserves to be cheated on. Us females really are each other's enemies.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Small tidday community hata hatujui bei ya bra cause we don't wear them. Counting my blessings.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Nobody told me how important networking is. Networking can open up doors education never will.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Nimeambia huyu 'send nudes ' and now he's acting like I've threatened to kill his parents and burn down his house. Lol. Ni picha tu nataka. And it's not like I haven't seen dick before. Hawa church boys kudeal nao ni ngumu. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

2 years

No idea how or when a cat sneaked into my house but I had a mini-stroke yesternight when I felt a presence in my bed only to open my eyes and see two green glowing balls staring at me in the dark. I died and came back to life twice.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

When a person says "my partner is my best friend ", some people laugh n sneer and say 'that's stupid cause mtakosana tu" but until you actually feel it,you can never understand what it's like to have that one person who is always in your corner and loves you genuinely.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Same guy that was here asking us for RTs 2 help him win a pair of Timbs is now openly hating on someone else that is on the same platform sharing her art n make people laugh( quite successfully I might add) n being recognized for it. Ya'll only want Twitter to work for you, eh?😏

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Good morning Bearded Men. 😋😋

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

I wasn't raised like ya'll. My mama whooped my ass. She even killed me one time.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Men : I don't give a fuck if a chic doesn't want me. There's a lot of pussy in the world!!!! Also men: Gets left,can't handle rejection, buys an axe,commits murder. Moral of the story: they're trash. Garbage.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

My mom thinks it's weird that I peel a banana all the way off before eating it instead of kuteremsha maganda after each bite. 😂😂😂😂😂

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Guys when someone asks you out on a date,mkifika do you consult him/her if something you want on the menu is a bit too pricey just to check if it's within their budget ama unaitisha tu ajipange na fuliza? 😏🤔

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Anyway, mko? 😏😏😏

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Asking boyfriends for permission to go out with your friends si ni upuzi tu jamani? You overemphasize a man's role and importance in your life ndio maana he starts thinking he owns and can control you. Now informing him, i understand. Ruhusa nayo sitaomba Baby na si kwa ubaya.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Got off the phone with my mom and I was was complaining about how she hasn't called or texted me the whole day today and this woman just said "Unateta nini kwani tunadate?". 😭😭😭😭

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Mnaleak DM's kwa nini sasa? Mtafanya menz waogope kutukatia.... 😭😭

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Imagine finding love and friendship in the same person. 😋

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

You ask for my number ,I give you Bae's line. Ndio muongee kama wannaume. Man to man,tell him how you really feel about me. 😂

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

But kusema tu ukweli if you can't solve your financial problems with the first three phone calls then you honestly and desperately need a change of friends. Just my two cents. Don't @ me. 😏😏

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Btw you people. Ukiamua kupenda just do it 💯. Don't half ass it. If they decide to clown you or make a fool of you then that's on them. You lose someone who doesn't appreciate you, they lose a person who loves them genuinely. At the end of the day, the joke's on them.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

So I was talking to this married guy-friend of mine today,and he told me something that baffled me kidogo. Dude said he doesn't talk to his house-help. Ati if he wants something done,he tells his wife to tell the help and if the wife is not around, he does it himself. Eh,how?!😕

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

1 year

Knowing me 3 years ago and Knowing me right now ni kama kujua watu wawili tafauti. The plot for 3yrs ago me was severely underfunded and the writing team was going through a lot. 😂😂😂😂😂

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

When Vera said "I can buy someone a car. Kwani what is 1.4M KSHs? My watch cost more than that ", I did not feel that. I did not feel that at all!!!!😂😂😭😭😭😭

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

I may look like I am okay but deep down I just want someone to text me "Ebu check your mpesa ."

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Mnaendaga kulewa na boyfriends zenu na bado mnatext ma side niggas kwa nini?Sasa ona huyu analia kwa club juu simu yake imepigishwa chini screen ikabaki kwa floor . But mimi if you pull some shit like that yangu na wewe inaisha tu hapo. Anyway, this whiskey is nice. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Respect the pussy that got wet for you when your pockets were dry,boy. Shalom.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

When he has to leave in the middle of the date cause his wife texted him to go home with milk.

@MjayWambui

WAMBUI 😘

6 years

Huyu anafikiria yeye Ni Nani btw??

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Do men ever wake up and say " I need to look good for her today. I really hope she likes this new outfit "? 🤔🤔🤔

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

We are living in a society where angry women have been made to think that they are strong women. Being bitter and pissed at the world does not make you strong. It just makes you a person with internal issues that need to be dealt with. 😊

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Lakini hii ukora ya landlords kukosa kurudishia watu deposit in the name of kupaka nyumba rangi is a total scam!

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Kuna mtu hapa kwa queue ya Huduma amekuja like 10 minutes ago. He seemed disabled cause he was using crutches so they moved him up the line. Amemaliziwa and my nigga carried both crutches on one hand laughing and catwalked away. Fam!! Wamama hapa karibu wamkimbize wampige. 😭

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Towel zangu zote ni safi and I honestly don't feel like using one and getting it dirty so nimeoga and then now napiga roundi kwa nyumba nangoja nikauke. 😂😂😂😂

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Boys,pussy has no lifetime membership. Just because you hit it back in June of 2010 does not mean that you still have access in 2019...You have to reapply . You can not go in and out as you please, this is not your mama's house.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

When he props you up into doggy so you arch and get ready to serve him and receive back shots but he kneels like a king and starts eating it instead >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Unakosana na mtu anaanza kuleak DM's na kuanika your business out here kama fala. Ya'll make it so hard to give a twitter boy couchie wallahi. Smh.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Mnafanya vitu vya kishenzi then you start quoting the Bible on us. I told you these gospel artistes ain shit!

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

You can't even be mad at your man in peace anymore because the " I am here for you " battalion have flooded the market. Smh.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

If you don't have money to travel this Christmas don't put yourself under pressure. Christ wasn't born in your village.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

All relationships are closing on the 30th of November for the Holidays .📣 Spread the word.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

'Size doesn't really matter '. That's how you know she's riding a nigga with a baby carrot. 😂😂

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

They took a group of ladies and took them to Nanyuki to get massages and play dress up so they can say that everything is ok while us,the actual real consumers are out here dealing with burns and rashes for a commodity we have spent money on. Someone balance me,please.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

One day I'll just go through my Dm's ,pick one lucky bidder and make him Mr. Nthenya. 😋😋😋😋

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

You can drink water all you want but the real glow up needs some ka-money.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

I just remembered that time I went to my ex's work place to ask him out for a coffee date and he had what I could clearly see was lipstick on his cheek and when I asked him about it akasema when it's cold his skin turns pink. Light skin niggas are a joke! 😏😏😏

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Yaani we can't even joke on Twitter and post things for laughs anymore because someone is going to take that shit personally and come with a group of people to want to fight you jamani. Eh. Okay .

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Unashinda huku my man this,my man that na your man naye ana "Hi gorgeous. I miss you " 55 females asubuhi before ata ashuke kitanda. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. Eh, Nairobi. These men will embarrass you without a gun to their heads aki.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

@enyonvm

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

I seriously, seriously need a vacation. I don't even want to go with anyone. Just by myself. Alone some place nice . To get away from it all. To breathe. 😓

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

7 years

@PatohShanqueels Who else is just here for the comments? 😅

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Yaani I've spent this year analyzing people's importance in my life and cutting people off mpaka imefika mahali I can confidently say I legit had no REAL friends. I know a lot of people but I am not friends with any. But that's okay . I asked God to open my eyes and He has. 😊

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

I was on the phone with my mom complaining about life and the woman wasn't saying anything, just listening. So after about a half hour of me talking nonstop, she said 'Nimekulea mpaka penye umefika. Siezi shindwa kuendelea. If you need a break, kuja home '. I've cried you guys.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Kama kuna kitu I have learned this year, it's that God doesn't move according to YOUR timetable! Your schedule is your problem and He does things when He wants to and within His timing. Na Mungu haharakishwi. Lol. This must be the toughest pill I'll ever have to swallow.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

If you read about her you'll learn that she actually had two fully formed vaginas and two complete sets of reproductive organs. She also got married and had five completely normal kids. Also, she said she preferred having sex with her right vagina not her left. So..........yeah.

@_fels1

Ja Loka

5 years

“Josephine Myrtle was an American woman who was born in 1897 with four legs. Well, the same question you’re struggling to answer in your head is the same one I am struggling with....”

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

If anyone is looking for a cook or a wife,please.........

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Dear Future Husband, Find God. Find yourself. Then come find me. Waiting patiently, Your Future wife. ❤

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Ati what's on your feet?

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

@karigoh My mom told me once that a man would rather live in a slum huko korogocho with a woman who allows him his peace of mind than stay in a mansion surrounded with riches na bibi hajui kunyamaza and that overall a man would rather be respected by his wife than loved by her.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

My next nigga gotta come with a recommendation letter from his pastor. I need me a man that knows Jesus.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

"Ladies,teach your man this,teach your man that." We want to be lovers . Not teachers.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Stop dating, fucking and being friends with people who are so ready and willing to showcase screenshots of your conversations with them to strangers on the goddamn Internet for clout. Mtu hata hathink twice kukuaibisha and you allow them in your life n space? Stop maze. Sheesh!!

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Imagine dishing out your coochie out to the penis people because ati mtu akona iPhone. Lmao!!!! Ya'll dumb,dumb!!!!!!

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

From the first time I saw you I knew that I would be giving you the wrong number.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Somebody asked me to tell them more about myself and the only thing I could muster was ' I love books and pineapples.' 😭😭😭😭😭 Mimi aki nshazeeka, the dating scene is no longer my arena. Just find me an app I can download a husband from and I'll be good n glad.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Najua haiwahusu lakini currently someone is making me very happy.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Yoh!!😅 Ukija online bila kuomba girlfriend ruhusa please remember to tell her that we just exchange good-natured banter huku. When she comes to the DM with a " please stop flirting with @..... he has a girlfriend " now what are we supposed to do next? 😅😅😅

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

7 months

The whole idea of reciprocating energy is weird af to me because why would I want to be a shitty person just because you are? I could get my heart stomped on a 1000 times and I'll still show up and give it 100% at the 1001 time. Life is short.Don't let the world harden you.

@MwagiAdv

Christine Bosibori

7 months

A man went silent on me for 2 days and because I didn't want to come off as needy and/or clingy, I also kept quiet. kumbe he was sick and in hospital the whole time 😭😭😭 Look at what you guys have done to me. I'm always on guard ready to leave 🥹 I hate that for me 🙄😒

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

If you think that doing/buying things and paying some bills for a man you love makes you any less of a woman basi you have this whole idea of love and relationships wrong. Mwache double standards. Men do stuff for women all the time and I don't hear women complain.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Unpopular opinion: Thongs are actually pretty uncomfortable.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

In other news, just letting the fellas know that she's feeding you so that you can grow fat and have a kitambi ndio wasichana wengine wasikupende.

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@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

My happiest social media moment to date has got to be when Kambua announced her pregnancy with that beautiful baby-bump pic on insta. Ugh. I cried. And then I prayed and told God thank you. Lol. I know it's weird but in that moment it felt so right.

5

2

101

@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Good women do still exist. But our foreheads are huge and we talk back.

4

23

96

@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Happy birthday to me!!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗💝

30

3

98

@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Don't let this world have you thinking that the "cut off " game is better than the power of reconciliation.

1

44

98

@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

"Tungeflirt but uta screenshot." 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

9

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93

@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Do you know anyone who's won kochokocho? Naskia wamefika 2m.

21

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89

@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

I just remembered that one time I was really vibing with this guy and so one day we was chatting and I asked him what his love language was and then dude just said "English works well for me ". Long story short, hio vibe iliishia hapo.

22

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87

@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

My mom just called out my kid sis on our family whatsapp group for not returning her change and my sister (who is the group admin) said 'Mami ukiendelea kunitangaza kwa hawa hatters nitakutoa group'.Then my mom said 'Ni sawa tu.Pia mimi nitakutoa kwangu uishi kwa hio group'😂😂😭

6

25

93

@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

5 years

Btw I am not married. Nilikua tu na-speak it into existence. 😂😂😂😂 Naona nikienda kwa major round abouts na placard kama yule dame alikua yuatafuta mme. 😭😭😭😭

18

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87

@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

2 years

Ukilearn ku-mind the business that pays you and leaving people to their bullshit ata acne inaisha. 😂😂😂

0

25

93

@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

All these toxic and bitter women are dragging the feminist tag through mud. Feminism is about championing for equal treatment of BOTH genders. NOT attacking men. People need to educate themselves and learn the very clear distinction.

8

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89

@NthenyaKiilu

That's Madam To You. 🎀

6 years

Kumbe y'all be posting your partners on social media with those lovey dovey captions ndio mwafunge macho alafu behind the scenes mnagawa kama shamba! Wau! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

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