The Company was a monthly, free storytelling experience created by
@watsoncomedian
and
@matryer
. Your votes decide what happens. This was all planned.
God, what a night!
Seriously that was one of the wildest New Year parties you can remember. You shake your head in disbelief. Rub your eyes. It still doesn’t seem enough so you rub your head and then shake your eyes.
Ah, now, hang on. Taskmaster is back on September 23 - the very day planned for the next outing of The House. We will therefore begin the next instalment of the dickabout at the earlier time of 7pm to avoid possible overlap with the popular TV gameshow.
BREAKING: Join the storytelling adventure of the year. The Company is an online accessible interactive story, where your votes decide what happens.
Shove January 21st 2023 into your calendars.
Part of Access Comedy Festival.
U+1F440
The House will return extremely soon. It has been delayed a little by the surprising relocation of the house itself to south-eastern Australia. That's just what happens. It will be one day next week. Thank you! THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME.
Right, sorry. The second episode of The House has to be moved again. It will now be ****AT 8pm THIS FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 24****. This is the definitive time. A Zoom link will appear here on the day. We repeat, this is the final change.
The House: Spooky As Shit Halloween edition. Sunday, October 31. Halloween itself. 8pm. I cannot emphasise enough: this will be spooky.
If you don't want to play a spooky game, this just isn't for you.
I repeat. There will be a spooky tone to proceedings.
See you there.
We return on New Year's Day. This is the prologue to The Company, which will begin on January 21, as you know. It's a new story; no experience needed. Everyone welcome except pornbots. As usual, FREE but please sign up in advance:
Thanks for your interest in The Company. If you think you might be a good fit for us, please keep your eyes open for announcement regarding the first of January, 2023.
The House will return on THURSDAY APRIL 21 at 9pm, UK time (you don't want to know what time it is here). This will be the most demanding and spectacular episode yet. Thank you for your patience. That's just what is demanded by The House. x
Really, this should be a formality. You're looking round a possible house for the Fringe. You'd have just taken it on spec, but the agent seemed very keen for you to see it. It's cheap, and the location is great. You're happy.
The House returns this WEDNESDAY, May 25th, at 9pm (it is unlikely to be quite as long as the last one). Free ticket link early next week. So casual, this announcement; just sneaked out in the middle of the day. That's just what happens in The House Admin Department.
THE HOUSE EPISODE IV*: November 26, 8pm. You have no tuna any more. You are dealing with a part buried childhood memory. You robbed that man and maybe killed him. You are still trapped somewhere under Edinburgh. But at least it's not spooky this month. IS IT? *this means 4
I do say this from time to time but it bears repeating: although I have been lucky enough to do 'cult-y' things before, like the long history of 24 hour shows, it's only since 2020 I realised an audience for THIS kind of madness existed, and you spur me on to still more...
MESSAGE FROM THE ETHER (Mark): thank you all for coming and I'm sorry it was slightly shambolic. I mean I always am, but more than usual. Entirely my fault not the fault of the team; I've just been a bit over-stretched. See you next time I hope. HA-HA-HA (that was a spooky laugh)
You are being asked to report to the airport at 8.30pm, UK time, this Saturday 25th March. A (free) ticket link will follow, as usual. Keep in mind you went to the airport last time but ended up on the Eurostar.
Well, a lot happened in The House in the end, didn't it. Thank you for joining in. It's been such fun to make. Yesterday's scenes, with an audience in a sweaty basement watching another audience spread around the world, were classic Fringe stuff and made me very happy.
The House is made by me and
@matryer
, run by
@AlexJPreston
,
@LianneCoop
makes it happen, and it is a lengthy attempt to amuse disabled icon
@CorryLReilly
. Thanks for playing. We can already reveal the next one is FEBRUARY 28: four weeks from now. Hope to see you there.
The antepenultimate House will be on Friday, June 24th, at 9pm. There could be a clue in this actual tweet which you'll need to make a note of, but there might not. You know what happens in The House. Free ticket link mid-week.
Just to be clear about what happens in The House. You might have seen tickets are on sale for the final instalment, in Edinburgh, on August 10. This is not 'instead of' the usual Zoom. It will still be online as always. There's just a live show as WELL. Like the first one. Good!
Tomorrow: The House MCLXVIIIIIII (Episode Seven). Might be a slightly later start than usual because of other things happening in The House (life). Ticket link in the morning, free as ever. Is this the month you escape?
It felt like you were falling for a long, long time. But when you pick yourself up you're barely harmed. You take a moment to breathe. It's dark. And you still need to get out of here; you need that more than anything.
Your interview will be tomorrow at 6pm (UK time).
Please wear smart/business dress.
The Company is an equal opportunities employer and tickets are free, but need to be reserved below as usual.
Zoom links sent out on the day.
Good luck.
Thank you for playing The Company once again. It was written by Mark and Mat, hindered by Alex, and acted by Watson's family and friends. Mark played the drums very, very slowly. I think we need to focus on that. You solved a murder but facilitated another one.
The House is made by me, Mark, and
@matryer
. It is run by
@AlexJPreston
. It is in memory of
@CorryLReilly
although luckily she's alive.
@LianneCoop
keeps it afloat. The genie was Dinky Donk, also known as Owen Powell, not on Twitter, but I will forward your appreciation. Thanks!
The House Episode XI (this means six if you were born after Roman times): Monday January 31, 8pm.
Christmas is over. Harsh reality returns. There will probably be some maths or anagrams. You still have a knife. See you there.
You know what to do. Once IN The House, though, you will not know what to do. But you can guess.
(It's free and online for full accessibility, as always. It just helps us doing it this way.)
A reminder that your latest misfortunes in The House will take place Thursday, April 21, at 9pm (UK). As always, free, but please sign up using the link that's in the bio. After that, let's all hope for the best.
Strange times for Twitter, and this project has been all housed ON Twitter, so, just in case: if you're not already, please sign up to my mailing list at (I don't send a tiresome amount of stuff). News on the sequel to The House: December 5.
Hello, everyone. This is, sort of, a computer game by Mark Watson and
@matryer
. Tomorrow the first chapter will play out, here (for everyone) and in Edinburgh (in a room).
Lastly, an acknowledgement that I should have threaded these tweets together properly, but if you think everything normally goes neatly to plan in The House, then I really don't know what you've been doing for the past eleven months. Thank you, see you soon. (ENDS)
The Company asks you to report for work on the evening of December 20th. It is not yet clear how festive - if at all - your mission will be. There will be a free ticket link soon.
At this time of year, we all love to be with friends and family, but it is not always possible.
Christmas Just Means You by The Caterers.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Happy New Year with corporate indifference from The Company.
[SOUND ON]
Thank you, everyone. If anything, even more nonsense than usual. The final one (in July) is going to be fun and the finale will be - I think you can say this occasionally - MAD FUN. See you there. Thanks as always to
@matryer
@LianneCoop
@CorryLReilly
and myself.
The Company would like you to be ready for work at 8.30pm this Wednesday, the 31st. You will not have to travel for this assignment; in fact, you should not leave your bed. Free ticket link soon. The Company hopes you are feeling reasonably well.
You take it back inside. Sure enough: a creamy pink paste. Lucky Ruth talked you out of veganism. You eat. Mmmm. You mutter 'fucking delicious' but the word won't come out; maybe they're using the bleeped version. You feel good.
There we are. That's just what happens in the housekeeping. Mat and I will now take some time to work out what's next. But you know me well enough to know, SOMETHING will be. Thank you all, lots of love. MW. x
The last-but-one instalment of The House will be on MONDAY JULY 25th at the earlier time of 6.30pm (for life reasons). There will be an Eventbrite link as usual for free tickets but, on the night, an optional Paypal for donations to something that came up last night. (1/4)
This is the link for the last-but-one instalment of the oldest game in the world. Tickets are free but please register. It'll begin at 9pm but it would be worth logging on at ten to. Eyes emoji.
The House will return on THURSDAY APRIL 21 at 9pm, UK time (you don't want to know what time it is here). This will be the most demanding and spectacular episode yet. Thank you for your patience. That's just what is demanded by The House. x
If you're still stuck in The House tonight, it would be great if you could 'buy' a ticket here. We'll then send out a Zoom link. Same procedure as Christmas. It is, of course, free.
For spooky reasons, the planned episode of The Company tomorrow has had to be moved to the evening of MONDAY NOVEMBER 6th. The Company apologises for this, but must emphasise the spookiness of the situation has made it unavoidable. A ticket link will follow today.
MW: thank you for travelling through time with The House. Regulars, we love you; if it was your first time, I hope it made just enough sense. Thank you also for bearing with us during delays/bots. I didn't love that happening at 6am but we are where we are.
But even as you inch forward trying to see what's in the darkness, the ground seems to give way beneath you. You scream. You're falling into nothing. This is the end, you think to yourself. But no. It's just the beginning.
You don't know everything about your new job yet, but it's pretty exciting. A fresh start in life. The reboot you've been waiting for. You can't wait to get going on February 26th, when you've been asked to report to the airport. But what's this? A message from Francine.
The catch-up for August's live episode is here. Enormous credit to
@AlexJPreston
. The next chapter will be on November 1st, but we are waiting to receive confirmation of ticket arrangements. The Company loves you - some of you.
You're getting to your feet, newly confident. There's a terrifying series of knocks on the door. Like someone trying to beat it down. Heart thumping. You go to the door. You know you have to open it. And you will. Just not... yet.
Hello.
The final part of The House is, literally, tomorrow.
You can still buy streaming tickets on the Monkey Barrel website - the deadline's 12 noon tomorrow. If you HAVE a ticket, you'll be sent a link before it starts.
If you are in Edinburgh for it, see you there.
Tuna emoji.
Side note: the entire year-long game is dedicated to my housebound hero
@CorryShawComedy
who is a stupid dick who is too poorly for me to see her as much as we used to.
The House: Spooky As Shit Halloween edition. Sunday, October 31. Halloween itself. 8pm. I cannot emphasise enough: this will be spooky.
If you don't want to play a spooky game, this just isn't for you.
I repeat. There will be a spooky tone to proceedings.
See you there.
The Company confirms your invitation to the annual away day, in Edinburgh, on August 21. This will be a great chance to meet fellow employees, affirm your love for the organisation, and get into difficulties. It will be also streamed, as usual.
The ticket link for tomorrow is now live. Tickets are free but, as always, we ask you to get one so we can monitor the possible appearance of miscreant bellends like last month - which is the sort of thing that does NOT happen in The House, thanks.
Look, sometimes things do seem too much for you. There was the time you stormed out of an exam, there was that business with the cheese. But we know what you do in these situations: think of your happy place. Where is it again?
The Company wants to apologise that there will be not be a mission in June. This is for your own safety, because we have concluded that you are in danger and need you to lie low pending the solution of the future-murder case you are currently involved in. (THREAD)
If you missed the second instalment of The House, you can catch up with the (lengthy) recording here. You need the following access code: nD+jD1=k
Chapter three is tomorrow, at 8pm. In case this point has eluded anyone, it may be somewhat spooky.
Thank you for playing The Company tonight. You go to bed, uneasily, a few miles outside Bristol in a comfortable-ass bed in which you nonetheless cannot sleep very well. Church bells going off every few minutes. Weird bird noises. Old-building noises.
Tonight's chapter is delayed until 8.30pm because of spooky shit (a difficult day). Please ready costumes. Just to say again, there may be a spooky dimension to things.
Here is the link for free admission to your May assignment, which is on Saturday at 8.30pm (UK). You may be required to prevent a murder in the countryside. A map of the rural premises will appear here before the events of the evening.
If you're still stuck in The House tonight, it would be great if you could 'buy' a ticket here. We'll then send out a Zoom link. Same procedure as Christmas. It is, of course, free.
The Company apologises but the live stream is not going to work and, in fact, the show is on the verge of cancellation. If it does go ahead we will put a full recording online as soon as possible. Sorry. Awful times here.
A reminder: 7pm tonight. Eventbrite link in the pinned tweet (but it's free). A truly ambitious episode, this one. It might be worth researching northern Europe, 2000s indie music (as usual), and all other topics.
It's Christmas: because that's just what happens in The House (as in many other parts of the world). Will be there be a festive miracle? Please pre-register here (free, as usual) and - horrible phrase - see you at 8pm.
With the help of an 8-bit crystal ball, you finally quit your job.
You know, the job where they make you say your name every time you take a step so they can track you 🙄
Using hand signals 🤚🤟👉🫳 and multitasking like never before, you are beckoned by The Company.
Catch up
You were watching The Company by Mark and
@matryer
. Song by Robert and the Very Bad Dogs. For more information on Creamed Canadian and future honey events keep an eye on
@HoneyExpo23
. You have left things in a bad place with Camilla. Thank you
@AlexJPreston
and
@MartMcDonald
.
The next edition of The Company will take place THIS Saturday, the 20th, at 8.30pm. Link to follow (free). Catchup will be available before then. Your posting this month is to one of Britain's most beautiful counties.
For foreseen reasons, Sunday's work assignment has moved to the later time of 7pm.
Please wear exclusively red, black or yellow. Bonus credit for combinations of these colours. Remember your passport.
We look forward to a valuable and enjoyable trip.
A May date will be confirmed soon. The Company Live, August 21 at the Edinburgh Fringe, on sale shortly (links will appear here). It will be live-streamed as ever.
The moment you pick it up, there are footsteps and a figure approaches you. He has a big coat on, which gives you hope HE has recently been outside in the world. 'Andrew?'
'Ah, you're already reading the i,' he says.