David O'Doherty @phlaimeaux Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

1 month

Similar to how tennis has different surfaces, swimming should have different liquids i. e. 50m chowder, 100m Greek yoghurt, relay spf 50 sun block

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 years

Cher is married to West Ham footballer Mark Noble and that’s why she just uses her first name

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 years

Brexit is the new Fyre Festival

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

1 year

I've been around the world, Covered every mile, But the place I love the most Is the Lidl with the viking settlement under the middle aisle

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

Rest in peace Sean Lock. A true natural comedian who taught me so much x

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 years

Other countries: If he lies, he gets fired. England: If the Queen adjudicates that the confidence of 2/3s of the house has been lost, she may summon Black Rod to unsheathe the Xylophone of Destiny as happened when Viscount Lambert IX married a horse in 1258

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

2 years

James Acaster on edgy comedians, from his amazing special ‘Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999’

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

11 months

CORCAS

Fergyyyy

@EnduroFergus

11 months

Orcas in the river Lee, Cork.

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 months

Every farm activity sounds like an indie band from 2008

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 years

To people who knew me in 2009, WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING?

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 months

It’s the day after Patrick’s day. A great time to enjoy a delicious Tottenham Hotspur chicken breast

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 years

Did VERY well in the Christmas crackers and have been loving life since

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

1 month

WHAT IF WE BRING HIS POMMEL HORSE BACK TO IRELAND AND LOADS OF TINY GREEKS GET OUT OF IT AND ATTACK US

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

7 years

The highest level of thanks you can give in Ireland

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

4 years

FURIOUSLY LEAFS THROUGH GOOD FRIDAY AGREEMENT

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

Last Christmas There was a plague, And the very next day Lots of people got plague. This year There is still a plague, And lots more people Will get plague.

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 years

reflecting on the last year, my biggest regret is that my giant ornate gold piano was stolen. If I could find who did it, I'd give them a piece of my mind

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

2 years

I'm here in the stadium and you can get round the no booze thing by asking for a Bailey's cheesecake and then winking as you say "go easy on the cheesecake"

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

Spurs end up the only team in the Super League and utterly dominate it

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

1 year

all vapes should have to make a sad kazoo sound

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 years

Irish lads looking out for each other

Declan Rice

@_DeclanRice

5 years

Absolutely disgraceful what just happened to Jack Grealish😡

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

2 years

Every GAA ad: LIVING IN THIS COUNTRY IS ABSOLUTE, RELENTLESS, NONSTOP MISERY, BUT PLAYING THESE GAMES WHERE YOU CAN HATE THE NEXT TOWN OVER AT LEAST MAKES YOU FEEL SOMETHING

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

4 years

Getting a lot of grief for having come here to Dubai during a pando but I feel my influencing gives people hope in these dark times

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

my prediction is that Ireland will win medals in boxing, sailing and rowing and my regret is that there isn't a mixed piracy event because it would play to all of our strengths

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 years

ABSOLUTELY FUCK THIS

⭐ amy o'connor ⭐

@amyohconnor

6 years

Women apparently neither protect lives nor deserve protection themselves 🤔

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

4 years

guys it was me all along

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

4 years

WHAT PREVENTS YOU DOING THIS?

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

2 years

A man just tried to steal my bike by yanking it out from under me as I waited at the lights on Thomas Street. Maybe he thought I wouldn’t notice till the lights went green, but I did and after some back and forth, I still have the bike but no knee in one trouser

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 years

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

1 year

A grim reminder that there are still people involved in comedy who face serious allegations that are broadly known within the industry, but many are happy to dismiss/ignore because these people generate money

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

9 months

The real meaning of Christmas

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 years

Crazy to think that it’s such a big thing now but Brexit started as a one hour stage show in Edinburgh in 2014

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

4 years

as news of another rapist comedian comes out, we all - industry, but in particular male comedians - need to act more decisively when you hear of any issue. Of course the person will have seemed fine around you. That doesn't mean they weren't capable of awful shit at other times.

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

7 years

WHAT ARE THE KIDS REALLY INTO THIS YEAR??? The 500th anniversary of the start of the Reformation! YAAAAAAAY!

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 years

For a man who watches one tennis match a year, I have very strong opinions on what these people should be doing

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

1 year

❤️

David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

2 years

HUGE LOVE TO ALL MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN THE TRANS COMMUNITY

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

2 years

She still seemed dubious so I went to zoom in on the barcode bit and it turned out I’d selected the wrong picture on my phone and was insistently showing her this

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

4 years

Am a little run down but delighted to be returning home to Ireland as 2020 North Italian Bat Kissing Champion!

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

1. What are they planning? 2. How do they get upstairs?

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 years

Turns out it wasn’t an echo chamber. It was a country

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

masculinity is in crisis

Overtime

@overtime

3 years

Bro doing the most INSANE workouts ever 😯 (via devonlevesque/IG)

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 years

'Victoria's Secret' is short for 'Queen Victoria's Secret Was That She Wished She'd Done More to Prevent the Irish Famine 1845-47' which is a weird name for an undies shop you'd have to say

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

8 years

Star Wars doesn't work in Icelandic because the main character is called Luke Vaderson

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 years

to the h8rs who say I can’t still pop gnarl

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

4 years

I hate fake matey-edgy comedy-by-algorithm gambling ads that are across all football so much because it is jokes as cover for the genuine human misery that those companies have brought to the lives of some of my friends

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 years

When the two main Irish political parties debate #GeneralElection

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 years

MY JOKE IS IN A CRACKER!

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 years

Huge shoutout to the Irish word for accountant

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

This dog swallowed my EarPods and now this is the only way I can listen to Steely Dan

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

7 years

Walked out of church today when everyone disrespected the j-man by kneeling

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 years

Melancholy shoe deals

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 years

The Ploughing Championships is going to Lisbon next year

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 years

What a name!

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 years

Ireland v New Zealand COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS: Enya > Lorde Kerrygold butter > Anchor butter Walton > Rutherford Shackleton > Hillary Tayto > Whittaker's Peanut Slab Game of Thrones > Lord of the Rings Riverdance > Haka sheep = sheep WE HAVE GOT THIS #NZLvIRE

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

unbelievable sunset

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 years

Comedy Muppet Babies

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

4 years

it’d be classic me if I came from nowhere to snatch the American presidency

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 years

I WILL NEVER TURN MY BACK ON YOU IRELAND

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 years

FUCK OFF GAMBLING ADS YOU MISERY INDUCING SHITHEAD FUCKS

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

4 years

I miss showbiz

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

This is my childhood. That’s Alan on the bike, I think I’m beside the incredibly dangerous bricks. Photo is by Louis’ da. I think he’s in the dangerzone position on the end.

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 years

my first and I promise only ever vlog #together4Yes #RepealThe8th

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

7 years

the only people who enjoyed 2017 were racists and the makers of fever tree tonic

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

In fairness, holy shit

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

I mean, it’s a fair question

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

4 years

happy father's day to my four dads, the guy who invented Tetris, a simulation of how Jesus would actually have looked, @BigBoyler and a ceramic lion from the Edinburgh museum

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

4 years

SOMETIMES LOVE TRANSCENDS ALL BARRIERS

Tracking Sharks

@trackingsharks

4 years

Anyone know what type of bird this is and is it holding a shark? #myrtlebeach 📽 Kelly Burbage

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

Cheykjavik yourself before you Reykjavik yourself

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

7 years

my favourite genre of photography is 90s footballers who moved to England and were made pose with things from their homeland

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

2 years

1/2 At lunch with my friends in Melbourne yesterday, & when the server asked to see my vaccination cert, I found it on my phone. She looked baffled so I told her it was the EU cert, and when she didn’t react, I said kind-of pompously, “I’m from Europe.”

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

7 years

Petition to put Enya on the roof of City Hall, communicate with the hurricane on a mystical level

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 years

Dublin city centre is one million times better without cars. Hope we make this trial permanent

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

@janky_jane A guy I know who is called ‘Shorty’ not because he is short or tall but because he peed his pants at his fifth birthday party and had to wear shorts

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 years

Another rejected passport photo

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

7 years

Why just scare the crows when you could CHILL ALL OF HUMANITY TO THE BONE

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

more like oliver omicromwell re: ruining all the crack in ireland

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 years

URGENT: somebody stole my phone and took 9.5k pics of herself. Can anyone identify this thief??

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

Tough year. This was me in Jan

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

8 years

if it's a draw in the fencing, they decide it by counting bees

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

2 years

enjoyed it!

Cristiano Ronaldo

@Cristiano

2 years

Always good to be with my Bro’s 🙏🏽

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

2 years

proud to be writing Ireland’s World Cup song ‘Not The Worst One to Miss’

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

5 years

THE THING YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IS IN THE POCKET OF YOUR WARM COAT THAT YOU HAVENT WORN FOR A WHILE

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

2 years

new veneers

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

7 years

Sure I'm getting older, but there are still sports I can absolutely dominate (pic by @Aalexsheridan )

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

tá súil agam nach bhfuil sé ag teacht abhaile

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

7 years

worst ever slang for jizz

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

2 years

Imagine the size of this pizza

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

2 years

The other David O’Doherty is an absolute hustler

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

4 years

I’m sure you’ve heard by now but by mutual consent, I’m leaving the band All Saints. We’ve had a great run and thanks to the girls for everything.

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

4 years

ONCE AGAIN THIS IS NOT ME

Seán Fahey

@seanfaheyire

4 years

@phlaimeaux Eh... This you?

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 years

Me aged 20: I want to be a jazz musician and make music so achingly honest and beautiful, it reminds us of who we are. Me aged 42:

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

2 years

shortest day of the year, baby! Crack the seal on your vacuumed bag of summer duds and let's ride this tropical log flume all the way to June

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 years

ultimate clickbait for 70 year old Irish people

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

6 years

PEOPLE OF IRELAND. Your VISA cards are NOT WORKING. BUT I have €30 CASH. Will swap for HOUSE or VERY GOOD CAR

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

3 years

The heartwarming tale of a cyclist whose best friend is a wise-cracking robin

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

1 year

I will not host Match of the Day this Saturday.

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

4 years

WHAT IF WE'VE GOT IT THE WRONG WAY ROUND AND ZOOM IS THE THING THAT'S CAUSING IT

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David O'Doherty

@phlaimeaux

4 years

CHRISTMAS AD IDEA: Santa tests positive and has to phone all of the children in the world to tell them they are close contacts. "Lucky I have unlimited calls and texts..."

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