@sensible_dude2
scars are from skateboarding as a kid.
accidents/surgery are from dog bites. I got super unlucky around people who were either abusive to their dog or had a dog that was previously abused.
abuse from when my dad slammed me into a wall as a kid. he used a belt from then on.
@TheAntifaTurtle
I feel bad for all 3 of them
Left: was mad about trump winning
Middle: was a highly outspoken feminist who showed up other feminist demonstrations with studies and scientific articles where conservatives showed up to harass them.
Right: was just had a face with deep expressions.
Thinking of dropping the Rocket league and streaming Fallout, Skyrim, Minecraft, and Just Chatting.
I think it's time to move on 🥰
Honestly I was never a comp player. I just like playing games well and having chill games mixed in.
I'm bigger than a game, I'm iLLixer. 💝
I broke down on stream because Basically my good friend that was gone for over 11months finally came back after not saying anything. And it made me realize how much of a shitty year it's been because that was the best news I've heard in forever. And I became Inconsolable.
Never have i thought that i would be sitting in my own apartment wearing my own branded sweater with items around me that I worked for.
I really do appreciate my life and planet earth.
I really want to take care of this green and blue ball we call home.
Finished early. Today was good :)
I wish my anxiety wasn't so bad.
This is a new job made by corporate because of covid. So there's a heavy chance this might be a temporary job.
Thank you for the messages and words of encouragement.
Sorry for being a huge baby 🥺
I feel successful in life, but I celebrate by myself. I don't think I've ever felt this lonely in my entire life.
For how much I worked my ass off i can only say success doesn't bring happiness.
Only happiness brings happiness
Cherish it because you'll miss it when it's gone
The protests made realize I had racists friends.
The corona virus made me realize I had stupid friends.
Getting kicked made me realize I have stupid family.
I'm not always able to message everyone. I hope that my tweets and streams are good enough to reach to my friends
@pIantporn
Watch this get bought by huge corporation and then shelved from the public because it'll destroy the money they make with their own shitty plastic
I'm gonna stop looking at numbers on twitch.
I'm just gonna have fun.
Playing whatever, doing whatever.
Twitch is feeling like a rat race ever since i came back from my break.
I think getting a job will eliminate my financial stress.
..... but covid is making that hard :/
@Struggle_Tweet
Fruit and vegetable stickers are made of plant material and are 100% safe to eat.
He's also learning to cook which is better most of yalls mf's microwaved ramen.
Finally got mail key!
I'm browsing for kitchen utensils 👀🤔
Still don't know what price point I want to aim for 😫
I really want a knife set too 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
Also no internet yet REEEEE
Thinking about doing a house tour stream on my phone 🤔
I had a tiny win yesterday
The day of my test of my new job they offered me a review of any materials and I declined it.
While also finishing in the allotted time.
(I'm a terribly slow test taker)
And I passed with a 94 🥺
7 boxes filled today :)
Btw gave it some thought...
I'm 95% sure that I'll be moving streaming from a full time job into part time job
I'm probably going to be looking for a second job or do schooling for a trade
I decided to get a standing desk too
Honestly....long overdue...
I felt extremely overwhelmed and had a anxiety attack as I got on my PC after hooking up my internet.
Definitely gonna take these next few days slowly.
I'm pretty sure I'll be live on the 22nd.
My empathy is making me cry over current events. I wish I could do more.
It's making me so emotional.
It doesn't help that I'm colored myself.
Hopefully I get get some good sleep tonight.
WAIT IM A FUCKING IDIOT. IM SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT. HAHWHWHHW
GUYS IM SORRY. I FIGURED SOMETHING OUT AND ITS A GOOD THING I WANNA THINK A LIL MORE THOUGH TO BE ABLE TO PUT IT INTO WORDS
ITS A VERY GOOD THING IM SO STUPID OMGKGMGKGGKMGKGM
I hate when people make fun of my voice and question my gender because of no facecam.
I'm so self conscious of my scars on my face and the way I talk it hurts.
My dad who speaks almost no English respected me more than my mom. I love him but she makes me hate myself.
I wish she knew how much her words hurt me.
Also the fact that most people who even follow this account are people I've known for an extremely long time and my friends.
So they put up with me more xD
Btw just an update:
I feel really good mentally.
Also idm if people dm me atm :3
I like having an alt account as a online content creator. I can speak more of my emotion without worrying about screwing over my account's algorithm and the possibility of venting over something stupid and losing followers lol
Changed my bio on main to be an egirl. Lmao
I just need to embrace goth egirl status and become illixer online from now on.
And just be angel elsewhere.
I did a lot of thinking... and I think I found a lot of things related to my future online career.
"I don't have to make people laugh in order to make them happy."
When i was younger I found out the reason i want to be alive is to make others happy.
1/3
Yall ever wake up with mixed emotions about life. Like wtf am I doing I just wanna skip to next year atm.
The grind can really bring someone down. I gotta put 100% faith in the changes I'm making.
This is gonna be the hardest grjnd I've done. i hope I see the light at the end
Takings meds for depression that never left since i was 10
Going on tinder to find someone who won't love me
Messaging people who don't care
Applying for jobs i won't get accepted for
Over-sleeping for nightmares that take away my energy
I'm running out...
I might not be on good terms with some people anymore but I never wish harm on them and I hope they're still doing good in the future.
Maybe in another life things would be better. And friendship would've been an outcome.
Maybe I think too much. Maybe I don't think enough.
When I stream I don't magically turn into a different person. I'm the same fucking person who's been going through shit the whole like like anyone else.
please don't treat streamers differently than you would privately.
we're humans. not robots or actors.
I called off today because yesterday I was so emotional that I basically ran out of energy and fell asleep way too early and couldn't sleep all night.
I don't know if today will be a good day.
I think I'll just spend all day on indeed looking for work.
You ever just chill and then you remember that time someone stomped on your heart?
Yeah me neither 😢
Kinda fucked up she did it to other streamers including me.
Just get the fuck out of my head and let me spend my day how I want, k?
Their family liked me a lot.
And then when me and my bf came back to my house he was facetiming his drunk friends and we both got to see some tits.
Fucking awesome.
First off thank you for the messages.
Second off, I did the math and it's going to be $141 in extra miles+late fee+wasted gas.
I think we all know I ain't sitting down for that shit.
I'm going to get this all sorted out. No way in hell am I paying +$200 for their mistake.
Turns out for some random last second emergency I'm not able to get my house keys until tomorrow.
The owner couldn't come down to the place because of some emergency.
So my move will be postponed until tomorrow morning.
That means late charge fee for my $300 uhaul rental😐
Remember, the bigger you are the more snakes come out.
And the smaller you get, people just "forget" you exist.
If you think your perception will get good among others it won't. Only within your community your image will look better.
@RightWingCope
Let's say it's insensitive.
But let me bring up this other point.
Some people don't even realize that racism exists. Or how bad it was and still can be.
And if some people get curious and see if they can do gangnam style
And they learn a little about then so be it.
Turns out for some random last second emergency I'm not able to get my house keys until tomorrow.
The owner couldn't come down to the place because of some emergency.
So my move will be postponed until tomorrow morning.
That means late charge fee for my $300 uhaul rental😐
@UBERSOY1
@anamewithletter
@SocDoneLeft
Asain americans are white supremacists favorite gotcha when in reality when you dig deeper it doesn't mean shit. You're just regurgitating half baked talking points without looking at the history or immigration policies. The adults are talking leave them alone.