Jon @Jontafkasi Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Jon

@Jontafkasi

3,779

Followers

2,320

Following

3,927

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49,978

Statuses

Cycling, beer, piano, drawing, gaming. I'm not bad with security stuff too. samur1 @mastodon .social

Joined August 2021

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

8 months

I'm not anticipating having a good cycling year so I'm going to go back to the zwift leaderboards, see if I can get back into the top 200, maybe even 100. I remember when I chased this last time it got me fitter, quicker than anything else did before. Hurty.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

Head of cyber for the treasury of Britain. £57k

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

5 months

The whole thing is glorious, Enormous car, "You can't see a yellow pole (the height of a child), "You hear a crunch and then you keep going", "It's not my fault", the vacuous stares into space. Wonderful.

@WorldBollard

World Bollard Association™

5 months

Another satisfied customer of the #WorldBollardAssociation

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

Absolutely brilliant. Person approaches flood in little Red car, sees identical little red car floating, driver continues believing this will not affect them. Sums up people's views on climate change perfectly.

@theonlypeterkay

Peter Kay

@theonlypeterkay

1 year

Breaking news: Angry commuters show admirable determination in confronting, head on, Stop Oil’s pernicious and harmful myth of “climate change.”

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

Head of cyber security for a trading company no-one has ever heard of, £450k

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

@Mark_Aldrich I get that but this is for a senior role that requires a very high level of expertise and experience in a trade that is traditionally well paid. Outside public sector this role would only ever carry six figures.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

5 months

Imagine being this conned by car companies. Plenty of people have no cars, plenty of 'successful' people have no cars. Plenty of wealthy people have no cars. You're being lied to. Cars do not equal success, maturity or progression. Quite often, the opposite.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

@CarolMaps @ppiixx "I'd like to join your network on LinkedIn"

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

@Ciara_BK My wife is 7 years older than me. We've been married 25 years.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

You may not agree with these people but laws against peaceful protest are the start of a very stark journey into fascism.

@JustStop_Oil

Just Stop Oil

1 year

🚨 BREAKING: 55 PEOPLE MARCH DOWN ROAD, IMMEDIATELY SLAPPED WITH SECTION 12 NOTICE 🦺 At 10:00am, 55 Just Stop Oil supporters began marching from the Shell Centre to Parliament Sq. 15 minutes later, a Section 12 public order notice was issued, ordering protesters off the road.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

3 years

@talkRADIO @Iromg @InsulateLove Imagine promoting this. Absolutely incredible. "Look how thick one of our presenters is"

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

@GlosPolSpecOps lol. You have got to be kidding me Ways this is perfectly safe: 1. They're not in a car 2. They're going really slow 3. They're being really careful 4. THEY'RE NOT IN A CAR I literally had to look at your profile to see if you were a parody, but it would appear not. What a joke.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

4 months

"Andy Burnham's clean air policy in greater Manchester is a vote loser" Stop listening to the media and right wing fruit loops. The people want clean air, less traffic, public transport, LTN's, active travel.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

@____B_S____ Raccoon aside, that guy appears to be able to do everything!

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

10 days

Nah, it's alright thanks mate. Smoking ruins things for everybody else. Try eating a meal in a pub garden with cigarette smoke wafting over you.

@MENnewsdesk

Manchester News MEN

10 days

Sacha Lord makes plea to government over beer garden smoking ban plans

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

Absolute mystery why no-one is using this cycle lane.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

@baroudeurSteve It's horrific. If people want to know one of the reasons why there's a cyber skills shortage, that's it right there.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

@DavidRobinson75 It should be illegal to drive on local roads when a motorway is available.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

10 months

@fesshole I'm no biologist but boiling water kills bad stuff IMO. Also, hot water tank? Is this tweet from the 80's?

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

@fesshole DM me and I'll sort your dog and you for food. It'll completely anonymous with nothing expected in return.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

4 months

A huge, long stream of people suggesting chemicals. If you want cups like this clean, get a scourer and actually do some work. Sorry, but that's the answer.

@JDBakewell

Joan Bakewell

4 months

Help please! Even after renewing the salt in the dishwasher these mugs remain stained! What to do?

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

There is so much too like about this video. The relaxed observation from the refuse worker. His complete lack of concern when the range rover crashes. The complete lack of offroad capability from the range rover. Lovely.

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Jon

1 year

Hi duolingo, we need to have a very serious chat.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

@fesshole I'd be extra proud of her once I knew that

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

3 years

@katieharr1988 My boss very publically shouted at me for ten minutes telling me how naive and unbusiness-like I was for asking if I could go to a professional conference organised by a supplier. "It's obviously an attempt to bribe you" (well, duh) He then went to the conference.

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Jon

6 months

Ordered some replacement windows for the summer, the wind blew two out over Christmas. 128cm by 53cm. Incredibly cheap. Oh. Obviously I'll have to go to a different place now because when I order the correct size they'll know what mistake I've made.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

It's come to this then.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

Lovely ride with my wife today. 32 miles. She'd never be able to do that at 15mph without a motor because she's not a cycling enthusiast. We both had a great time. She's not cheating, she's exercising.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

11 days

@lcamtuf This is absolutely the most pointless car ever invented. It has no redeeming points whatsoever. Maybe this was elni's joke on us all.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

This is the future that 15 minute city people want

@Jazzie654

Jaz🛡️🌐🔗

2 years

No way!

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

3 years

@ricardo12uk @Brink_Thinker Knowing my luck the farmer would turn up at this point and draw an entirely different conclusion.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

That's why we cycle commute.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

Yes! Cheshire police have just called, they're going to charge the person who nearly killed me last week. I was worried they were going to say the number plate wasn't clear enough but they've accepted it.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

7 months

@fesshole neither do we mate

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

What bait is good for car traps? I find a brand new section of cycle lane works best. They can't resist it.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

3 months

Look at this street in mallorca where cars are banned and everyone hates it.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

"hello, police? Yes, I'd like to report that someone has parked an absolute munter of a car outside my house. Yes, it's gopping. Where is it? It's a range rover so it's on the pavement."

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

@grescoe They look great but presumably people die in them horribly all the time? I mean, people voted for Brexit and Trump so these would be way too complicated for them.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

@Thebigdog8873 It's almost like 'cyclist' doesn't define a single type of person.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

Please stop Southerners drawing maps of the UK.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

3 years

@tomhfh We bought our first house here. When I said we weren't sure, the estate agent said they'd pay the deposit. We're about to sell it for 5 times what we paid for it. It will pay for itself and our current house. Anyone who says this was down to hard work is talking out their arse

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

@NoContextBrits A verified twitter account. 🤪

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

3 months

This must be very uncomfortable for all the people opposing lower speed limits. Thoughts and prayers but ultimately, if you oppose lower speed limits you're endorsing killing people. Good luck with your perspective.

@guardian

The Guardian

3 months

Vehicle damage claims in Wales fall 20% since speed limit cut to 20mph, says insurer

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

@AdamLBrown3 It's covered in a loose surface but the main issue is the driveways. Each one will be like riding a roller coaster.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

When I see fast road cyclists conflicting with hardened utility cyclists online I really do cringe. They're both correct, don't conflict, you have different requirements. I get that, sometimes I'm both. I dunno, maybe see both sides?

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

3 years

"Go tubeless", they said. "It'll be great fun and if you get a puncture it'll just seal itself", they said.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

7 months

cars

@gunsnrosesgirl3

Science girl

@gunsnrosesgirl3

7 months

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

My driving license has expired. How did I know? because I applied for a Monzo card and Monzo told me when I used it to provide proof of ID. I mean, I'd have preferred the DVLA to tell me.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

I'm nominating the bottle cage bolt spacing as the most tightly adhered to standard in the cycling world. Prove me wrong.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

@deeden55 Wait till you encounter drivers.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

@fesshole There is no way this can go wrong.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

5 months

The funny dancing videos not quite as humorous any more are they?

@Rainmaker1973

Massimo

5 months

Throwflame's Thermonator is the first-ever flamethrower-wielding robot dog. This quadruped is coupled with the ARC Flamethrower to deliver on-demand fire anywhere. [in case you don't believe it: ]

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Jon

6 months

@ianwalker Great research. One trick I think most people miss is turning the shower off in between soaping and rinsing. Get in, get yourself wet, turn shower off and soap up all over, turn shower back on and rinse. I appreciate your findings identify a different issue.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

@FightClubVideos She literally jumped into the back seat to avoid the beating her friend was giving her.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

99% of people who complain about cyclists are doing it because they are clueless about the rules. This woman contributed to the death of a cyclist because she was clueless. I dunno, maybe education would help.

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Killer shown footage of her shouting at cyclist

Video shows police questioning Auriol Grey, whose actions killed a woman cycling on a pavement.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

3 years

@MrsMummypennyUK 30 odd years ago. House was a wopping £40k, I wasn't that impressed with it so the estate agent said they'd pay the deposit. Still wasn't convinced so they said they'd buy us a new washing machine and fridge. Things were *very* different back then.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

6 months

@GamewithDave Anyone who could watch this and not shed a tear has a heart of stone.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

this is the video car manufacturers don't want you to see.

@AlecTang_

Alec Tang 鄧振揚

1 year

how’s them freedom machines now?

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Jon

1 year

PEOPLE ONLY GO TO WORK FOR THE MONEY. POST THE SALARY.

@DudespostingWs

Dudes Posting Their W’s

@DudespostingWs

1 year

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

Go cycle touring in July they said. Weather will be lovely they said.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

How could the driver be expected to see that dark coloured train?

@BB27000

BB27000

2 years

Le #CaPassePas du jour.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

Not going to go into detail but hug your loved ones tightly. We've had a near miss after months of fretting. My wife thought she was going to die. All clear today.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

Let not forget, drivers clog the roads up every single day causing huge amounts of damage to businesses and yet there is not a single piece of legislation stopping them doing it.

@TalkTV

Talk

2 years

93 year-old climate activist Arnold was arrested this weekend at the Kingsbury Oil Terminal in Warwickshire. "I was a law abiding citizen. I've got a medal from the Queen. I'm an MBE. All that counts for nothing if we don't save the future."

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Jon

3 years

"Cars don't need high viz because they're big and easy to see"

@Auth_Courtney

Authentic Courtney (former Kate Layne)

3 years

Wow. Pay attention

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Jon

1 year

@MarieAnnUK @theJeremyVine Cyclist. This is well laid out in the road user hierarchy. Pedestrians are most vulnerable.

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Jon

2 months

Landline stopped working. Virgin: "Oh yes, we turned that service off" Me: "I'm still paying for it though" Virgin: "Yes, would you like a new hub and adaptor so you can carry on using it?" "Me: "Couldn't You Have Asked Me Before Turning It Off?"

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

3 years

@adamtranter Brilliant. Even in an environment they control entirely, cars don't work.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

@Thatsprettycoo7 @UK_Daniel_Card 100% That's far more realistic.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

There is no win to shared paths. Pedestrians will always believe they are in the right, probably because they are drivers, if you ring you lose, if you don't you lose. Cyclist are forced into conflict and they become the enemy. INFRASTRUCTURE IS THE ANSWER

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

10 months

This. There really needs to be an upper limit. So many nowadays are stupidly bright. It's twice as bad when the roads are wet too.

@PicturesFoIder

non aesthetic things

@PicturesFoIder

10 months

Why is headlight brightness not regulated?

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Jon

1 year

@Urban_Pictures If they're so safe, bring them to your rally.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

7 months

This is astounding, truly. A development is proposed that will do nothing to impact vehicular traffic, will almost certainly encourage less vehicular traffic and so is therefore challenged constantly. They literally want more cars. Why would they do that?

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New “car-free” Brompton factory facing delays as traffic authority calls on bike brand to consider...

The folding bike manufacturer’s proposed eco-friendly headquarters features no car parking spaces and aims to encourage staff and visitors to cycle, walk, and use public transport – but National...

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

@Doigeyboy "when I ride" "cyclists"

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

@kebablog @theeyecollector I bought a nice new car. About two weeks after I'd got it my wife put a carton of milk in the boot which then burst. The car still smelled of sour milk when I got rid of it 8 years later.

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Jon

2 years

Incredible. I hobble to the bike shed, back screaming at me. Throw a leg over a bike, pain disappears instantly, knock out 28 miles, step off the bike, back starts screaming again. It's walking that's the problem, it's not natural.

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Jon

1 year

Oh to have a bike and just cycle past them all going 'Morning, morning. Lovely day for it."

@MoBurkhardt

Mario Burkhardt

1 year

Autofahrende 🤦

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 year

😂Now getting people telling me this is bad design. Hand your licenses in you idiots. Driving isn't for you. Get a bike.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

1 month

@fesshole No mate, we don't.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

3 years

The e-bike can do around 30 miles on a full charge, my wife has just discovered. On a 32 mile ride 😬

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

2 years

Only a matter of time before this sort of stuff becomes commonplace.

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Cars spray painted with 'MOVE' and windows smashed in overnight rampage

The incident is believed to have taken place overnight

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

3 years

Aaah crap, my son has been arrested for theft at his job at the highways agency. This is terrible news. Obviously I couldn't believe it but when we checked in his bedroom...the signs were all there.

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

3 years

@fesshole This is utterly wonderful. Imagine partnering up with people because you end up identifying with something deeper than looks. Sorry, I'll stop being an old person now.

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Jon

1 year

Ooh, Warrington council have come back regarding my request to make the lights change when a pedestrian presses the button rather than waiting ages. I don't even need to tell you what that response was , do I?

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

8 months

Any ped crossing that makes people wait is anti-people, anti-green, pro-car. This should be illegal.

@TulseHillLTN

Safer Streets for Tulse Hill 🚶🏿‍♂️👨🏼‍🦽🤸🏿‍♀️

8 months

Hi @TfL - despite many reports & a supposed fix, the Brixton Hill/Blenheim Gardens lights *still* don't let pedestrians cross each cycle. People forced to choose between waiting several minutes or chancing their luck. What's going on? @LabourMarina @RushCommonLab @AcreLaneLabour

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Jon

6 months

Always said this was the best way to catch phone drivers.

@SurreyRS

Surrey RoadSafe

6 months

Tues, #SPCasualtyReduction Officers worked together on the A281, Guildford. A plain clothed Officer on a bicycle informed uniformed officers when they witnessed offences. In just 2 hours, the cycling officer recorded 23 drivers on their phones & 1 not wearing a seatbelt. #Fatal5

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Jon

2 years

Oh no, a puncture. What shall I do? I know!

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Jon

1 year

@AlanConstant2 Unlikely, given most roads were built before cars were invented

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Jon

2 years

@GlosPolSpecOps Lets look at historical casualties on that road. 2 Cyclists including one fatality, killed by a driver (naturally) If you're worried about child safety then look to drivers. And the bigger picture tells us car occupants are most at risk from guess who? Drivers.

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Jon

1 year

Slowest, widest pass by these cars I have ever experienced on this section of road. Beautiful. Thank you drivers for finally deciding, without any external influences, to start driving safely.

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Jon

2 months

@JaneyGodley It's fantastic. Working class background, done really well for herself, woman, single parent, super strong, intelligent, committed, caring....She is everything the tories hate and now she's in power. I can't like this enough.

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Jon

2 months

Well, there's a thing. 25 years ago she said "I do" and we're still together (despite many tandem miles together).

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Jon

1 month

I'd like two tickets from Warrington to London please, outside rush hour, over a month in advance. £84? Bit pricey but fair enough.oh, can I have some flexibility on times please? Certainly sir, that'll be £240 extra please. Have a nice day.

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Jon

1 year

If I owned a pub I'd ban smoking anywhere on the property. Just because the beer garden is outside, it doesn't mean people mind breathing in your smoke. "smoking area? Yeah, go out the door, walk 100 yards down the road, get into that skip, light up"

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Jon

2 years

@mattmoves93 @bike_berlin "Look at me, I got to the next queue really quickly"

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

4 months

Sometimes you just need to get a professional in.

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Jon

3 years

Drivers need to be aware of the new rules in the highway code. 1. You have eat your own engine if you break the speed limit 2. The distance between you and a cyclist has to be 3 miles at all times. 3. If you drive your car within 500m of a pedestrian you have to drink petrol

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Jon

2 years

Long queue of traffic. I'm riding down the side of it, reach a set of lights on red, sit alongside a car. Lights change, guy floors it away, presumably to stop me getting in front, obviously 20 metres up the road it's standing traffic, he bumps the car at the back 😄

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@Jontafkasi

Jon

6 months

Phone driver took out one of our tandem clubs tandems today. Stoker a bit battered, bike a write off I'd say.

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Jon

6 months

@fesshole My wife wears full clothing in the house and still ignores anyone knocking at the door. Sounds like you're winning.

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Jon

7 months

@KatieMorley_ @Telegraph I've heard journalists can earn a decent wack and it looks like all I need to do is make some stuff up to get it printed in national press.

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Jon

2 years

@stillgray Looks like they're doing their job. Protesting isn't illegal, dragging people about is.

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