I'mNotAHRHitter @ImNotAHRHitter Twitter profile

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I'mNotAHRHitter

1 year

I promise that once I have more invites, other than the one I was legally required to give to my beloved wife, I will come back for you Twitter friends who want one!!

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Last Seen Profiles

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@SomFlorida

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@HRG

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@Theseclips_

@thefemalerulaa

@shessoconceited

@Cabernetinluv_

@wrightys1

@bokeplokalmalam

I'mNotAHRHitter

@ImNotAHRHitter

4 years

@cableknitjumper @Chinchillazllla War is peace. Freedom is slavery. I caught a Sea Bass. No wait, it's at least a C+.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! THEY JUST DID DR. WILY'S CASTLE FROM MEGA MAN 2 AS A CHANT IN THE WBC CHINESE TAIPEI/CUBA MY WORLD'S ARE COLLIDING!!!!

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@ImNotAHRHitter

10 months

@vasdrimalitis Real "why weren't they raging for the machine" vibes

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@inthefade I love that they're trying to find any other possible answer other than the obviously correct one.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

9 months

@MikeDrucker We don't talk enough about how hard that opening theme/summoning theme goes! Need an OST of that.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

4 years

Heyyyy followers, mostly in the NYC area. Kinda need your help. This is my father. He has dementia and he got out of my parents' house and he has been missing for a couple of days. He doesn't have ID on him. There is a silver alert out for him.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

5 years

@KivanBay Fast food workers deserve $15 for just the work itself and another $5-$7 on top of that just for having to deal with the general public at their absolute worst

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@ImNotAHRHitter

3 months

@nasboat "Do you have a retirement plan?" -Mom "Yeah. It's called inheritance or not living long enough for it to matter" -me

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@ImNotAHRHitter

5 years

@TristanACooper Game of Thrones: Brotherhood. Coming in 2022 on HBO

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@punished_cait Absolutely in tears after this YouTube comment on the song

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@ImNotAHRHitter

3 years

@ManuclearBomb Honestly, the scene when Stampy is heading straight for the peanut factory and the foreman losing it is one of the funniest moments in television history. "THIS IS THE MOMENT WE'VE FEARED, PEOPLE. MANY OF YOU THOUGHT IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN!"

The Simpsons - Peanut Factory

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 months

Clay is the kind of closer that is so bad that he doesn't even make you miss Mo. He makes you miss David Robertson.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

4 years

@tracydeonn @maliciousglee My father is 71 and he read comics since he was like 10. He currently has dementia, but i'm so happy he got to see Black Panther before his mind slipped further. He waited his entire life to see those MCU movies, but especially Black Partner. It meant so much to him.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

11 months

The exclamation point after 1 is the true star of this sign.

the thicc husband & father

@lukeisamazing

11 months

reply with your favorite headline, sign, or other written gag from the Simpsons. I’ll start with “nerds pummeled in football melee”

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@ImNotAHRHitter

5 years

@HardDriveMag Finally

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@ImNotAHRHitter

1 year

F156 is the clear winner here

Torey Van Oot

@toreyvanoot

1 year

!!!!! NEW MN STATE FLAG DESIGN SUBMISSIONS LIVE --->

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 months

@lukeisamazing I will never forget my parents accountant going over my Dad's retirement pension and saying "Wow. Um, you have one of the most generous pensions I've ever seen. They legit don't make anything close to this anymore." I was happy for my parents and realized I was screwed lol

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@isaiah_bb @toasterposey Yeah I laughed when I got the full ad, as if the Red X wouldn't make me want to vote for her more.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

3 years

@ManuclearBomb This one always makes me laugh

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@ImNotAHRHitter

3 years

@ActNormalOrElse That anger should be channeled into something productive, like getting mad when people older than us do things!

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I'mNotAHRHitter

@ImNotAHRHitter

4 years

Hi everybody! Just wanted to update everyone that my father was found safely and he's currently at a hospital in Queens. Yay! Thanks so much to everyone who reached out and spread this. My family appreciates everyone's help!

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@ImNotAHRHitter

5 years

No sir, I don't like it

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@ImNotAHRHitter

6 years

MORE BTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@NotABigJerk "I ask that you respect my family's privacy!" "I'll be talking more about this man's and every other man's divorce on my podcast. Don't miss it!"

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@ImNotAHRHitter

3 years

@ManuclearBomb Oh lord, I'm forgetting probably my favorite one. My friend and I literally wrote this to each other when signing yearbooks in high school.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@inthefade Not only video evidence of them not doing anything, but video evidence of them stopping and handcuffing parents from doing their job for them, to save their own children, something pretty much every parent would do. Trying to scramble to defend that must be an absolute chore.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 months

@Very__Regular Incredible title card and sequence up to this point. Lao Che laughing "Good bye...Dr. Jones" is one of my all-time favorite funniest scenes in any movie.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

4 years

@sschreiber13 @LLW902 This is why I love the whole "Vote Biden now and then AOC in 2024 or 2028" thing, as if the machine isn't going to push back against her as hard or harder than they did Bernie.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

1 year

@InternetHippo My favorites are the "it's actually really bad for your health to work from home" ones.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

7 years

Brian Cashman traded Shane Greene away for Sir Didi Gregorius and somehow that is NOT his best trade ever.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@davidaxelrod @Mets "I grew up being a loser, I want so badly to remain a loser, and I'm upset that they are doing whatever it takes to make me feel like a winner" is certainly a path one can choose.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 months

The best part of this is that he thinks that the majority of people who are just starting out are making $60,000 out the gate.

More Perfect Union

@MorePerfectUS

2 months

We didn't realized people were still doing this. Shark Tank's Kevin O’Leary posted this video on Instagram blasting ‘idiot’ workers for buying coffee and sandwiches.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

3 years

@MegaMan I'll always have this Kenji Inafune signed frame to remember him by. R.I.P. GBD

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@ImNotAHRHitter

5 months

@Srirachachau You can see why the Gungans wanted no part of that for a while.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

4 years

@Chinchillazllla

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@ImNotAHRHitter

11 months

@Srirachachau Your powers are useless on me you silly billy

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 months

@dumplingmenace What the

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@ImNotAHRHitter

1 year

Lmao "Other than what happened to Mr. Lincoln, I thought the play was great."

Gary Phillips

@GaryHPhillips

1 year

Aaron Boone on the offense: "Outside of the strikeouts, I thought at-bats were building off of last night. I thought we grinded out really well. We made it really tough on Kremer. We couldn't finish off." The #Yankees struck out 18 times. There are 27 outs in a regulation game.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

6 months

@Very__Regular Booing is an essential part of sports

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@ImNotAHRHitter

7 years

@chrislhayes I'm flying home for X-Mas and my parents told us to try and fly into JFK cause it's easier to pick us up. Their house is, and I'm not exaggerating, a 2 minute drive/10 minute walk from LGA. I'm impressed.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@NotABigJerk I will never underestimate this website's ability to make people reveal things that they, under no circumstance whatsoever, have to publicly admit to anyone!

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@ImNotAHRHitter

1 year

@MikeDrucker "Another long flight. This won't be the case when we, the loyal members of Antifa, force high speed trains into this country." "Yes. YES! Soon Antifa, the organization which we are members of, will be in full power. Who's going to stop us? No one, that's who!"

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I'mNotAHRHitter

@ImNotAHRHitter

1 year

I'm sorry, how many hours a week?!?

More Perfect Union

@MorePerfectUS

1 year

One of the three massive plants that @UAW is striking right now makes Jeeps. For years, Jeep has relied on an army of “temp” workers who make half the rate of their “full-time” coworkers for the same job. They work 70-hour weeks with no sick days. So workers have walked out.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

4 years

It really seems like people are upset at Cespedes for treating the baseball org/owners exactly like they've been treating players, especially recently. Owners can't cry about a lack of communication when players are finding out their game status on Twitter before anywhere else.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@DanaWessel More like Skohl's Cash

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@ImNotAHRHitter

4 years

HardballTalk

@HardballTalk

4 years

Cardinals owner Bill DeWitt Jr.: “The industry isn’t very profitable, to be quite honest”

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@ImNotAHRHitter

6 years

@joonlee They're soooooooooooo good

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@ImNotAHRHitter

7 years

Have we stopped to realize that in addition to Stanton-Judge-Bird-Sanchez-Gregorius, the Yankees might also be adding the #1 prospect in baseball to their team next year??? #GleyberGood

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@ImNotAHRHitter

1 year

@aklingus Eddie's "yeah, you still got it" in Who Framed Roger Rabbit said it all

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@ImNotAHRHitter

5 years

@ManuclearBomb Girls love it when you look to my coming, at first light, on the fifth day.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@Chinchillazllla We can't forgive student loans because we might forgive some rich person's student loan, a thing that totally exists. However, we CAN bailout VC bank people because of the small mom/pop start-up & because our economy will just collapse without doing that for reasons. Makes sense

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@ImNotAHRHitter

3 months

@aklingus Without question. I'd also probably hate seeing the image of one of the most traumatic experiences of my life everywhere.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

7 months

This is a perfect baseball tweet. Absolutely perfect. It will please and upset all the right people and bring out so many takes. I love it!

Mike Dro

@MikeDro_

7 months

It’s amazing that people want you to think Derek Jeter is the worst fielder of all time while future Hall of Famers are failing to replicate his throws

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@ImNotAHRHitter

5 years

You just absolutely hate to see it

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@ImNotAHRHitter

4 years

Never forget when A-Rod was at the Revolutionary War

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@ImNotAHRHitter

7 years

He's 24, it's his first full season, & the Yankees survived 20 years with Jorge Posada behind the plate because he hit. sink or swim tho

Mike Mazzeo

@MazzNYC

7 years

It's sink or swim time for Gary Sanchez behind the plate #Yankees

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@ImNotAHRHitter

6 years

Me, kind: Maybe ask Ellsbury if he'd like to switch Me, rational: It probably won't matter much to Cutch Me, rabid fan: RIP THE NUMBER OF HIS COLD, ROTTING CORPSE AND GIVE IT TO CUTCH

Mark Feinsand

@Feinsand

6 years

What number should McCutchen wear with the Yankees? He's worn 22 his entire career, but it's tough to imagine Jacoby Ellsbury giving it up for the rest of the season.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

4 years

@Chinchillazllla That's... one way to dice onions

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@ImNotAHRHitter

7 years

Most Yankee fans actually do not think this. Usually, only older fans try and play the "Oh yeah, well he's no Mickey Mantle" card all the time. We just want Judge to be Judge and want older fans to stop being so JudgeMantle.

Michael Salfino

@MichaelSalfino

7 years

Yankees fans think Judge is Mickey Mantle and Joe DiMaggio. Hilarious. He’s athletic Dave Kingman plus walks. Or, if you prefer, athletic Adam Dunn.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

3 years

Meanwhile, the brands...

Katie Notopoulos

@katienotopoulos

3 years

Personally I don't think there's anything funny about Facebook being down. Think of all the brands that are missing out on the chance to activate, inspire, and delight their target audiences right now. Tragic.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@ManuclearBomb There are so many, but this might be it. The delivery in the baseball announcer voice is absolutely flawless.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

1 year

"Look, we obviously can't fund your schools, but what if, and I need you to hear me out, we paid for a stadium for what might be the worst team ever in the history of baseball?!"

More Perfect Union

@MorePerfectUS

1 year

John Fisher, the billionaire Gap Inc heir and owner of the Oakland A's, is trying to move the baseball team to Las Vegas. He wants $380 million in public money to build a new stadium. Nevada ranked worst in the nation for public school funding in 2022.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@rachelmillman

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

Ohhhhh the sweet, glorious sound of Red Sox fans booing their team on Opening Day

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@ImNotAHRHitter

26 days

@Srirachachau This is one of the funniest scenes

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@ImNotAHRHitter

4 years

“I tell you, those unverified accounts soared higher & farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage & made those walls dissolve away, & for the briefest of moments, every last person on Twitter felt free.”

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@ImNotAHRHitter

3 years

The Second Breakfast Club

The A.V. Club

@TheAVClub

3 years

John Hughes wanted to make a sequel to The Breakfast Club

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@ImNotAHRHitter

3 years

@Chinchillazllla Seriously, are there any trustworthy truthful doctors out there that will make up a reason for me not to get the vax for fake medical reasons because all the other doctors pushing it are lying conspirators???

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@thebhart @ManuclearBomb @NotABigJerk This one takes the cake for me, because Marge's reaction can be read in multiple ways

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@ImNotAHRHitter

15 days

@Very__Regular If you didn't want to live around people, don't live in a city?? Haven't they ever watched House Hunters?

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@ImNotAHRHitter

4 months

@JaneOst_ He had that mace in hand, fully ready to go without a moment's hesitation. He knows exactly what he's doing.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@NotABigJerk If they can impeach a supreme court justice for accepting bribes, they can impeach you as well!!!

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@ImNotAHRHitter

3 years

@JaneOst_ @ActNormalOrElse "IF PEOPLE DON'T WORK, COMPANIES ARE JUST GOING TO REPLACE THEM WITH ROBOTS!" - angry online person "Hey. Got any strapping young teenagers at home available? Send em our way, please. Free Whopper!" -companies

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@egoraptor Some people definitely did not walk through that doorbius

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@Srirachachau This doesn't even have a lot of their action cartoons (Space Ghost, Herculoids, Birdman) which for the time were great. It gave life to comic books for a generation of fans. Their 90s stuff is legit awesome, even before the CN renaissance.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

Might be my favorite

frasier looking at video games

@frasier_looking

2 years

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@ImNotAHRHitter

3 years

@Chinchillazllla They keep saying "be nice and try talking to them and explaining the situation" as if people haven't been trying that all this time.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

1 month

Gotta say, Lake Superior is indeed a pretty great lake.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@dril Doing my part! 🫡

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@GenePark Words can't describe how perfect this whole sequence is. The music, the choreography, the fact that it does nothing at all to enhance the plot or characters. It just happens, like a secret boss fight, and I love it so much!

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@BrianMFloyd Just the best

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@ImNotAHRHitter

3 years

@RodCarew_29

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@ImNotAHRHitter

7 years

GETTING STANTON WOULD BE LIKE IF LUKE HAD JOINED VADER AND THEY RULED THE GALAXY AS FATHER AND SON!!!!

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@swolecialism I think of this quote by Gul Dukat almost every day now: "A true victory is to make your enemy see they were wrong to oppose you in the first place. To force them to acknowledge your greatness."

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I'mNotAHRHitter

@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

Oh come the fuck on

Jeff Passan

@JeffPassan

2 years

Major League Baseball will not be changing any of the major components of its new pitch-clock rules before Opening Day, according to a memo obtained by ESPN. The details on the changes that will be made, free and unlocked, at ESPN:

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@ImNotAHRHitter

7 months

@JaneOst_ It's totally fine he has a lot of control over our infrastructure and stuff

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@UltimaShadowX @YuGiOh_TCG

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@ImNotAHRHitter

7 years

Nothing better

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@ImNotAHRHitter

5 years

So, just to recap: Press conf not actually shown on MLBN Codebreaker people not actually punished Reporter who broke story snidely mocked Public airing of info was punishment enough but players actually talking about it is "not healthy" MLB Trophy just a "piece of metal" yeahhh

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@ImNotAHRHitter

1 year

Brian McTaggart

@brianmctaggart

1 year

The Rangers partied last night while the Astros had a champagne toast and quickly turned their attention to Sunday and one more win. Houston's "been-there, done-that" mentality paid off, it seems.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

4 years

Hi everybody! Just wanted to update everyone that my father was found safely and he's currently at a hospital in Queens. Yay! Thanks so much to everyone who reached out and spread this. My family appreciates everyone's help!

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@ImNotAHRHitter

1 year

@ManuclearBomb Without question, especially because of how hard I laughed at Mr. Bont!

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@ImNotAHRHitter

6 years

Good morning to everyone except the writer(s) who did not vote for Mariano Rivera

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@ImNotAHRHitter

3 years

From that same episode!

Freddy vs Jason Funderberker

@ManuclearBomb

3 years

What’s your favorite visual gag from The Simpsons? I’ve been thinking about mine and I’ve settled on this

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@ImNotAHRHitter

7 years

After crunching the numbers, scientists can confirmed that Aaron Judge's home run went through time & space and destroyed the Kingdome!

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@ImNotAHRHitter

5 months

@Srirachachau I've rarely laughed harder watching a Godzilla movie than that scene.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

1 year

@bestofdyingtwit "Pay me and sign up so other weirdos on this site don't impersonate you!" is the new-age protection racket I would have never thought of lol

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@ImNotAHRHitter

3 months

@LITESPEED333 @nasboat I'm not relying on it, per se. I have an actual financial plan for retirement but well, so did a lot of people back in 2007. I'm just taking everything into consideration. Plus it's the funniest answer to give to my Mom.

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@ImNotAHRHitter

2 years

@Chinchillazllla People seem to be focusing on the perma-single in the bio, but not gonna lie, "psychology student" is more interesting regarding this.

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I'mNotAHRHitter

@ImNotAHRHitter

4 years

Also, even with his dementia, he is still one of the absolute kindest and sweetest souls on the planet, far far far nicer than I am. Just tell him you know Greg, which if you've talked to me on Twitter is technically true! :D

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