It's mad that we react to 'I can't afford to eat' with 'You don't know how to cook' rather than 'That is awful. Let's figure out what we can do'. It's like someone saying 'I'm bleeding' and replying 'You don't understand skin.'
"Sure you can dance,
@SusanCalman
, but can you introduce a segment about Spaghetti Bolognese straight after consoling six victims of supermarket carpark rage?" It's all in the eyes of
@EamonnHolmes
.
#Strictly2017
Heart broken to hear about Tim Brooke-Taylor. Always so funny and kind and welcoming when I was on
@ISIHAClue
.
No doubt he is up there, looking down on us, singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow to the tune of Stairway to Heaven.
R.I.P. old pal xxx
I can't wait for all the illegal theatre to begin. Romeo and Juliet being whispered behind the ASDA, The Barbershop Chronicles happening in actual barbershops, police busting open a shed in Wigan to find 30 people speed reading Emilia.
#TheArts
#illegaltheatre
#AnarchistActors
Remember when Thorntons was THE fancy chocolate? I miss that. Hotel Chocolat is TOO fancy. All I want to do is have a nervous teen write my friend's name on a low cocoa solids egg to show I care.
@JaneyGodley
My wish is to end my years living on the Isle of Mull, such is the beauty of Scotland and all the fabulous people I have met there. Also no one judges you for eating haggis twice a day.
Drum roll please... I wrote a book!
Yes And it's called Improv Your Life.
Yes And it's about what improv can teach you about life.
Yes And I hope you got that from the title.
Available to preorder from your local bookshop and Amazon.
#improv
#life
My book arrived!
What a joy.
I was starting to think
I dreamed the whole thing.
Thanks everyone at
@Hodder_Studio
.
Can't wait for you all to read it.
Six days to go.
#improv
#unboxing
#books
This might be one of the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen. Let us hold them all.
To win is such a tiny part of what we have witnessed. Saying 'We lost' feels wrong. Penalties are the scratch card of football. We did not lift the trophy but we found something else - hope.
Just remembering that song at the end of The Jungle Book which I used to sing over and over and never really thought about until now.
#Disney
#FunTimes
#singaling
From now on, all UK citizens must use
'Well that was a walk in the park'
to mean
'a highly stressful and hazardous situation involving constant recalibration of distance and spacing'.
#coronavirusuk
Wrote a blog about
#MotherhoodLimbo
.
The state of being where you are awaiting the universe's decision on whether you might be a mother or not. It felt like there wasn't a phrase for it. So now there is - Motherhood Limbo. Feel free to use it at parties.
@TNeenan
I remember
@brettgoldstein
having some really great material about trying to explain the whole Jimmy Saville phenomenon to an American.
'So what, was he really good looking? Blinded by his looks kinda thing?'
'Umm...no,no.'
'Great personality, was it?'
'Umm...no, no.' 🤣
Oh no he didn't!
Oh yes he did.
Someone page
@HackneyEmpire
.
The idea that anyone couldn't understand booing at baddies and catching sweets is insulting in itself, but reinforcing the message that Black and ethnically diverse people aren't British is ignorant and offensive.
@SoozUK
@mattycurry
@NetflixUK
Well if you need any help, my brother was a counterfeit Stone so I can assist with realistic tribute act dialogue. E.g. 'Mick would never wear those kind of trousers! This is 60's Mick! Not 90s Mick! Jesus. It's like you're an amateur!'
Hoping this badge isn't like an Oystercard and continues to work outside zone 6 on this busy busy bad boy train. Not giving up my seat for no one.
#trains
#gottarestmytiredbutt
I suppose I am just not sure why we are supposed to be impressed that Jeff went to space. We know people can go to space. If he had gone in a canoe, then I might be more interested.
When you are 5 mins into a 3 hour train journey and the over-friendly man next to you has already invited you to Bonn because his wife left him. Gonna be a long trip kids!
#traintravelsinbrokenenglish
Perhaps more accurate definitions of financial status would be
Working Class: fear of losing home
Middle Class: fear of using savings
Upper Class: fear?
Exciting news! My desk chair moves up and down. I did not know this and have been squashing my legs under my desk for the last 15 weeks. Freedom comes from questioning our assumptions. Keep being curious, people!
#FreeYourThighs
#ChairPhilosophy
There is no greater facial expression than that of a London commuter who arrives on the tube platform to find an entire primary school awaiting the next train.
Currently writing Line of Duty: The Musical. Songs will include Policing The Police, Sex With A Witness, Tommy's Back, Dot's Lot and I Wasn't Expecting That.
All songs in the key of A-12.
#lineofduty
Interviewer: It says here that you love "improv". Can you think of an example of when it might be useful to be good at making something up on the spot?
Me:
It's like that one show of the
@edfringe
run where all the people who hate you before you have even begun decide to buy tickets for the same day.
#flashback
#actorslife
Enjoy family meals together with the Dining Room Set!
Catch up on everyone’s daily adventures round the table whilst enjoying a delicious dinner – our tummies are rumbling already!
Get yours here -
We used this in the 1st
@SundayAssembly
Remembrance service. It connected us to the fear. How strange that a comedy could remind us that the soldiers were simply husbands, fathers and sons who'd been handed a gun and told to go over the top.
#ArmisticeDay100
To celebrate today’s release of
@curtisstigers
’ new album ‘Gentleman’ - available here - Curtis has joined me for some hot sax. You can download
#ThankYouBakedPotato
for
#FeedNHS
here and buy the book here
Oooh just a minute - I'm on Just A Minute! Right now.
Fun fact: They have kept to the pre-covid measurement of 60 seconds equalling a minute for this series, instead of the current three days.
@BBCRadio4
#JustAMinute
Love this. We are rarely talking about 'the thing'. We are mostly talking about the people talking about 'the thing'. Ironically, this will now be retweeted a million times and
#grahamnorton
will become the spokesperson for not speaking about 'the thing'.
One of the most sensible takes on ‘cancel culture’ I’ve seen. Sensible, honest, smart. I’m posting the video directly as Times Radio tweeted it with a clickbait and somewhat misleading headline that unintentionally confirmed his point. More of this please.
And it seemed to me she lived her life like the wind that blew the candle out. And if that isn't the right way round, I don't know what is.
#HappyBirthdayToMe
Today I am seeing people IRL who I have only met before on Zoom. Their reactions to my actual face will tell us just how good that beautification setting is. And let me tell you, I've had that baby up high.
#SmoothAsAngelaLansbury
@westendwilma
Hi West End Wilma! Just letting you know that
@TheShowstoppers
will be livestreaming from the now closed Lyric, Shaftesbury Ave at 7.15pm - we are all dressed and ready to go - there is no stopping the show!
A joy to meet Mr Hamilton, Mr Washington and young Phillip after a stonking performance. Turns out there are a couple of
@TheShowstoppers
fans in the cast! Thanks for a brill show
@HamiltonWestEnd
, you are somethin' else!
#HamiltonLDN
Top tip: watch Muppet Christmas Carol with the subtitles on and you can infuriate your entire household by performing the whole film whilst they try to watch it.
Thank you for algorithmically sourcing my husband for me. I can forgive you the three weirdos, too. I've dined out on them for years (although they were, in actuality, the longest dinners of my life).
#guardiansoulmates
#onlinedating
#farewell
My hotel room smells like someone smoked a load of weed in it and housekeeping tried to get rid of it with huge quantities of air freshener. Unless Glade have brought out a new Skunk plug-in.
Either way, I have the second-hand munchies.
Nothing like the whole of the Royal Albert Hall clapping along as you smash out a Pick Up Song. Delighted to be reunited with
@fredmacaulay
for our Scottish leg. Hopefully he'll bring both of his.
@ISIHAClue
I am having trouble aligning the beautiful, sunny day we are having with the political nightmare we are currently sitting in. The silence of the garden outside my window with the screaming on Twitter. There is a real, felt sense of disconnect today.