hurowittty @Hurowittty Twitter profile

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hurowittty

3 months

Not many people know this but I’m actually the NBA intern in charge of +/- stats but nobody ever told me how it works so I just assign random numbers to random players every game

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Last Seen Profiles

@syou5256

@LlmdD49733

@MCeto_dob

@exnetworkcap

@oman_roman79191

@WXkSnywtr9eV3

@CopaAmerica

@strzyga_demona

@CryptMonsters_

@ChuckUp5

@bunniraine

@Jono41189

@Wault_Finance

@WIMissScarlet

@BdallhLy86478

@1KerryMichael

@TigresOficial

@GoodSmile_US

@PamelaNoel85707

@KOEE

@compass_mining

@billlyyy11

@samaralex72

@AttingWillet

@bokeplokalmalam

@CoachNicoRogers

@Mudit__Gupta

@materialwills

@saitamadiamonds

@elrynnaa

@AlanDersh

@6KKKP

@RichardGrenell

@DrRobDavidson

@draxtor

@sloane_square_

hurowittty

@Hurowittty

9 months

Handing out cigs at mile 12 #NYCMarathon

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@_z10n1x @PopCrave @TODAYshow What an insane way to watch a show!

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@onthebook1 @TheOnion Oh like you’ve never met a bad baby

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

This girl asked how to get to the Brooklyn bridge from union square, told her other platform for downtown, and she insisted it was actually uptown, I told her no it’s downtown (showed her the map) so she told me I was wrong and got on the uptown train like a regular Vasco da Gama

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

9 months

@not_chasebank What’s he gonna do, resuscitate me?

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

Cops tickets cyclists for an alleged red light violation just feet from where a baby was murdered by a criminally reckless driver who @NYCMayor failed to get off the roads. Not surprised but my blood is fucking boiling

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

My bodega cat has been much more present since his appearance on bodegacatsofinstagram. Just sitting near the door basking in his fame

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@amandamull Recently stood outside with dog while my friend went in to get her baby from daycare and there was just a stream of ~1-year olds toddling out, each one delightedly exclaiming some version of “dog” while pointing to dog

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@the_MoonsTirade @PrinceCharmingP @TreFourE @shannonsharpeee He just asked him that

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@RussoKatie @YoungTiempo Squatters’ Rights

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

9 months

#ceasefirenow

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

9 months

Terrible picture, but I’m so happy to have finally met two of my favorite Central Park celebrities: Flaco the Eurasian Eagle Owl and @Above96th !!!

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

8 months

@imbethmccoll The regression to bizarre adolescent behavior when all the kids are home for a bit is so fascinating to me

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

8 months

@jeremybernier “I don’t care that they’re lying in a news article because it’s bringing attention to the issue” is a pretty bold stance pal

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@megan_e_riley @jmurffff

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@Evanryt @Vinncent So controversial

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

While standing by the memorial I watched a @NYPDnews cruiser cross the Gates/Vanderbilt intersection from the same wrong way the murderer drove before the crash. Ban cars and defund the police

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

Can’t stand when I smash my life into pieces, only to find out later that it wasn’t my last resort after all

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

6 months

@offbeatorbit I’d be on the phone with a lawyer between first contact and the curb

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

@DanCrenshawTX

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@ChandosHerald @WritesBright Try engaging with bofa

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

8 months

@MikeJCzapla @kenklippenstein Lol all those things rule. Grow up

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@RickyWiIIiams @hdrewblackburn I’d say it’s more like they overdrew

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

SITTING AT THE BAR AT DO OR DIVE

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

5 years

@NiSaBulaVinaka @anthony_covell_ Sure are

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@FCardamenis When Larry finds out Loretta, who he was about to break up with, has cancer

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

Moped driver murdered by driver at classon and Clifton in Clinton Hill

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@calebparke @POTUS An example here would be the AR-15. Which stands for Assault Rifle 15

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@aubreybell My favorite thing about working remote is when you get to play “guess how tall ____ is” when you finally meet your team in person. My entire worldview was shook to its core when I met my manager first time and found out he was five feet tops standing on his little tippy toes

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@EastsideAphrod1 @amandamull C’mon man everyone’s having fun here

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@Defaultdevil2 @calebparke @POTUS Armalite? are we just making up words now?

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@offbeatorbit Nothing beats deep cleaning the apartment before a party just to immediately trash it

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

. @katienolan I’m a couple episodes behind (due to listening to each episode 3 times) so forgive me if this has been said somewhere but mike vrabel would be played by rob riggle

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

9 months

Long live Flaco the Eurasian Eagle Owl, King of Central Park!!!

Above_96th

@Above96th

9 months

🎉🎉🎉Today marks nine months since Flaco began his life in Central Park as a free bird. Doubted from day one, he has proved his determination and resilience over and over. Every day I see him brings me joy. 🙏🦉🙏 #Flaco #CentralPark #birdcpp

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@eddy_noonan @tvnewzted @boston25 MBTA should run on coal!!!

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@SSJBDOT @TerribleMaps Mercowtor Projection was right there bro

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

I think the only way to make pet insurance worth it is to develop a case of munchHOUNDsen by proxy

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

I turned a jpg into a pdf for my mom

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

Some personal news

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

She really said peepeepoopoo is one of the major issues plaguing New Yorkers today

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@abughazalehkat Or if you’re in New York it’s 100 feet (conservative estimate)

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

@will_yam__ Watching them get off at the next stop and realize they would have to pay another fare to switch direction and that they shoulda listened to the dashingly handsome stranger after all was just wonderful

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@DavidLat @BuckleyProgram Haha this sucks, man

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

The White Lotus: Rockaway

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@vincedige @Wawa And yet nothing to pick from your teeth

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

This is what Ask the Mayor looks like

la befana🇵🇸

@Sandinista412

3 years

What a lovely interaction

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@RaxKingIsDead This happened to me every semester of college and has continued several times a month ever since. My GPA is in the fucking gutter, man

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

@okobloko @dianestand Obviously money is the issue, dummy

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@SonyaShaykhoun Hell yeah this all tracks keep fighting the good fight Sonya

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

10 months

We stan a fair ruler

Above_96th

@Above96th

10 months

🦉🦉🦉Flaco and the Central Park squirrel (cont). After a lengthy stare down, the squirrel decided to take the lower branch and Flaco chose to let it pass! Flaco then went back to sleep and they both lived happily ever after! 😊😊😊 #Flaco #CentralPark #birdcpp

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@smoothturn2 @TheOnion It clearly states under the quote that he’s retired

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@Christi32416179 @business If you’re mad about this wait til you hear their policy on ligma

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@CabinWayne @AP We love a good deflection!

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@Defaultdevil2 @calebparke @POTUS I’m perfectly capable of leveraging Bing if I need to do research. How do you think I became so knowledgeable on the subject of assault rifles (ARs)?

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@bryan_johnson @BrandyLJensen So does eight hundred million dollars I would imagine

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@MarkMNYC @DaveCoIon Buddy you think we don’t know our way around the different waves by now? I could write a book on the different waves, and I’d have to beg Dave to agree to having his review on the cover

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

How do I get Dr. Dave Chokshi, The City’s Doctor, as my PCP?

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

8 months

@matthiashalbeis @evanhill @nytimes Keep that same energy when the source is the IDF, pal

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

10 years

@ChrisSerna12 @deadmau5 should have a festival all to himself

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

10 years

@burnieeemac @deadmau5 lol he did more awesome stuff in the last hour than you'll do in your life

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@stingray763 @bryan_johnson @BrandyLJensen Could be but I bet Bryan Johnson’s hasn’t

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@dahvnyc Fuck this is so sad and infuriating. Franklin is hell down that stretch

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

Most millionaires have a routine and a big part of that routine is getting a bunch of money from their parents who are millionaires

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@onefulltimejob @crispypadthai @StrikeDebt Faces for bricks

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

Ever since my brother @NoahHurowitz became marginally famous he has been focused entirely on his “new followers” and has had no time for his one and only twin brother. So I got a hyper realistic picture of him tattooed on my arm so he would always be close

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@MatthewJshow @AOC @NASA Doubt you have a friend to ask for pal

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

9 months

@NoahHurowitz Hell yeah buy this book

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

hmu for half-price pdf version

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

@jscros Well he DID predict an election one time!!!

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@nytimes @DouthatNYT It’s uncivilized to allow people to choose a quick and pain-free death over a long and painful one?

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@O_MakerYT @Defaultdevil2 @calebparke @POTUS If assault rifle is “made up” then why did they name a line of guns (ARs 1-15) after it?

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@plowline @NPR Eary

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

Reminder that this remains one of the wildest most confounding strings of investigative failure and/or deeply shady police work of our time

luke

@lukeoneil47

2 years

In 2011 three men were murdered in Waltham, MA. They were found with their throats slashed, almost decapitated, in what was described as “a bloodbath.” The crime scene seemed to have been arranged to send a message. It was the 10th anniversary of 9/11...

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@Savagee @Matt_Reynoldson @BallySportWI My mans spent all his money on Twitter Blue and didn’t leave enough to travel

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

@gabydvj Everyone responding to this has internalized this as a personal attack, except for me, who is simply here to observe

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

5 years

If @NoahHurowitz ever has a baby of his own he will be required to tweet “just held a baby” each and every time he holds his own baby

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

5 years

My mom has only pictures of my brother, who is writing a book, on her fridge

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

10 months

@offbeatorbit More embarrassing by far than turning to the person next to you and asking what song this is!

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

5 years

The “The reason I don’t have a girlfriend is because she was aborted” defense is the best

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

@isthisparis @gerrieyaki We’re still doing that?

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

If I learned one thing from last night’s episode of succession it’s that divorcing a billionaire lands you a sick as fuck apartment

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

5 years

Should @NoahHurowitz and I fill the #resistance -grifter-twin vacuum left by the Krassensteins? Like for yes RT for definitely yes

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

I lamented that I had forgotten my sunglasses and my mom produced these, as what she perceived to be a viable option

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

Several months ago a new hire on my team took a leave of absence cuz her mom died. Collected 2 weeks’ pay, and never came back. Just found out she blocked everyone from my company on LinkedIn and got another job right after LOA, AND her mom is still suckin air. Boss moves only

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

1 year

@joshgondelman Didn’t realize it was only a Boston thing till I left Boston as an adult. Never fear tho, I spread the gospel far and wide

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

Sitting at the bar all by myself (top five fave activities) for the first time since March 2020 AMA

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@nriseley Not entirely sure the celebration was for *Biden winning*

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

Gonna use the spare time I have since getting laid off to find Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 using nothing but Google Maps

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@CarWashComrade @Vinncent There is a particular type of North American hippie, a rich kid that thinks if they study for 9 years at MassArt and smoke enough weed and make a perfectly unwatchable film they will expose the lie of bourgeois subjectivity. They are all beautiful and they need our support

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@LucySmi06589772 @ClickClackATX @toweltime89 @BootyMajin @TheOnlyJoshPDex @GrubSeeker @KimberlyNFoster Well now see these guys murdered a guy

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

Seeing someone who spent the majority of the pandemic between CT, the Hamptons, Florida, Aspen, etc. post a video of the fireworks and declare that New York is Back Baby is a fun little morning treat

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

3 years

My party started at 8pm and nobody is here I’m a fucking loser

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

@DustinVick217 @Duggie490 @BabzOnTheMic Talk is one thing pal, everyone expects that. You call what that lady did “talking shit”?

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hurowittty

@Hurowittty

2 years

I spent most of the night explaining my costume unsuccessfully and eventually crying “it’s a moral panic joke!” in desperation. Shout out Caroline for walking into the party and immediately exclaiming “Rainbow Fentanyl”