female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. first one of you is crazy and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. then thirty minutes later you get to trade
does anyone know how i can cure myself of the specific brain disease that makes me dread tasks and put them off indefinitely until i do them and it's totally fine. is there some kind of drug i can take
decided to break my no delivery rule and get a burrito and guacamole. $29 before tip. closed the app immediately lmao i cannot believe some of you live like this
in hindsight, we shouldve known that all the ornate viral foods (those giant milkshakes, golf leaf covered everything, rainbow bagels) were like, our versailles moment right before the empire fully collapsed on itself. honestly i dont even know if i'm joking
I received an invite from the Biden administration for a Diwali event being held by the VP on nov 8. I decline any invitation from an institution that supports the collective punishment of a trapped civilian population—50% of whom are children.
they’re calling it the go on a 15 minute walk around the neighborhood without spending $27 challenge. few have attempted it and even fewer have succeeded
this reminds me of the time i told my college roommate it was racist to say that "arabs often turn to terrorism because they're jealous of how successful jews are" and she started crying and told me she took a black guy to prom
the thing about instacart/uber/taskrabbit/etc is that it’s gotten the most ridiculous urban liberals so accustomed to the idea of having literal servants, but in a totally atomized and depersonalized way where you get to pretend you’re progressive and actually don’t have servants
last night a bartender apologized for carding me (“i’m sorry, you just look really young”) then looked at my shirt and conceded that “kids don’t really wear death cab merch these days”
i genuinely believe US libs uselessness is the result of most americans’ insulation from overt political violence. the reason latam leftists are so militant is because they know their political enemies want them dead, so they respond accordingly. that understanding is absent here
can someone who is good at the economy explain why media layoffs are happening during a pandemic that’s forcing everyone to spend all their time at home consuming media
a weird thing ive noticed is that liberals generally think the US's immigration policies were normal and fine before trump, which is wrong, and leftists generally think trump's immigration policies are only slightly worse than obama's, which is also wrong
A Joe Biden op-ed: "I’m proposing an additional $300 million to reinvigorate community policing in our country. Every single police department should have the money they need to institute real reforms"
no offense to everyone in nyc/dc media but it really is stunning to me how few of you understand that most people's politics are mostly ideologically inconsistent and primarily rooted in anecdotes
@biboofficial
why is he talking to her in the same tone and cadence i use with the literal toddler i nanny lmaooo. “you did it all by yourself?? and there’s no mess??”
i’ve been trying to come up with a single justification for ICE’s new student visa regulations and i haven’t been able to. there’s no public health or “security” benefit to it. the point is to punish people for not being american. that’s it
"We would rather nobody buy any Frito-Lay products, Fritos, Doritos, Tostitos, Funyuns, Cheetos, all those, while we're on strike. We make all of those in Topeka, Kansas. We also would rather nobody buys PepsiCo products while we're on the line."
the thing about twitter is that it's only good for posting little observations and stray thoughts and maybe the occasional thirst trap. once you start arguing with people on here you've fully lost the plot
i feel like i’ll regret saying anything about the current topic of discussion but i find this whole “therapy doesn’t work for abusers, who are inherently evil and will never change” thing kind of insane in a way i can’t fully articulate
some dude in a bar in west village tonight is going to say on a 1-10 richter scale, you’re an 11 and it’s going to work on some girl. they’re going to get married. they’re going to have 5 kids and a golden retriever in greenwich, ct. the end.
happy mother’s day i told my v catholic mom i was considering moving into a 3 bedroom apartment with my boyfriend so we could each have an office and she was like, “if he has his bedroom and you have your bedroom, that means you’d only get one office. it just doesn’t add up!”
I’m at the Howard Schultz book event at the Union Square Barnes & Noble. a protester just interrupted him, yelled “DON’T HELP ELECT TRUMP” and told him to “go back to Davos with the other billionaire assholes.” he was escorted out by security & booed by the crowd
my tween brother and his tween friends have a group chat where they all pretend to be office workers??? they send each other stock photos of people in offices and make their own niche memes???? they’re so powerful
just said "why are the national guard doing the macarena an hour before curfew in atlanta" to my roommates. imagine someone saying that sentence to you 3 months ago. you cant
wrote about tradwives, seed oils, sourdough, ballerina farm, baby eugenics contests, and other things of that nature for
@thebafflermag
’s food + agriculture issue ✨
apropos of nothing, i just remembered how a certain """leftist""" pollster got big on here by tweeting "ABOLISH ICE" 4x a day and then, after biden won the nomination, published something on how a "progressive head of DHS" would improve conditions in ICE detention :)
the thing i don't get about all the amy klobuchar defenders is why they suggest that women should be unkind and abusive in order to get ahead, like men often are, instead of suggesting that men shouldn't be that way
all these white women talking about how they dont "owe anyone" their vote and warren doesnt "owe anyone" an endorsement as if being a progressive isnt about building a better world for each other
this talking point is so fucking stupid. the 100 corporations that produce 70% of emissions are mostly fossil fuel corps that produce the oil, gas, etc we all use! every day!
If every person on earth just recycled, stopped using plastic straws, and drove an electric car, 100 corporations would still produce 70% of total global emissions.
cancel culture is when i have too many tabs open and my computer gets really slow and starts whirring uncontrollably and before crashing and then i lose all my precious tabs
ICE lost 1500 brown kids. Thank you to all the white college kids who chose not to vote or voted for Jill Stein or wrote in Bernie.
You guys are the fucking best.
very interesting that this
@nytimes
report refers to undocumented immigrants as "illegal," which is uh, the opposite of what the times' style guide says reporters should do
last July, I traveled to southern Arizona during the deadliest time of year for migrants to figure out what was causing a rise in fatalities at the border. it’s not just the desert; it’s surveillance.