BREAKING: The man who attacked Nancy Pelosi's husband was caught on a security camera. Paul Pelosi's attacker Sam Hyde said his motive for the attack was that Paul is a drunk driver.
Breaking: Only an hour after winning his first professional boxing match Sam Hyde was seen jumping into his Ukrainian fighter jet stating that he is going to Los Angeles. "Hasan Piker! I'm coming for you now! You can't hide from the Hyde!" Mr Hyde said to CNN reporter Wings.
@schizobased
I NEED TO TELL YOU THAT I'M A FRAUD I'VE NEVER EVEN BENCHED 500 LBS AND I COULD BARELY BENCH 405 ALL POSTS AT THE GYM WERE USING FAKE WEIGHTS THAT I GOT FROM AMAZON! EVEN MY MUSCLES ARE FAKE THE GIANT CALVES ARE JUST IMPLANTS AND MY SHOULDERS ARE BASICALLY JUST OIL
"STOP THE MUSIC! STOP THE MUSIC! What is this crap! Is this what you call music? Can nobody in here play real music? Can nobody here play a good ol' Hank Williams song?"
"The council of incels has decided that you're a fakecel."
"What... you can't do this to me. I haven't even felt a woman's touch in my life."
"YOU KNOW HOW MANY GIRLS I'VE REJECTED!"
"In other news: a 30 year old man has posted over 3000 anime girl pictures on twitter that say 'return to tradition'. When asked why he did it he said it was to 'save the west from degeneracy'"
@Babygravy9
@YouDontUseLogic
Never had sex.
Never been in a relationship.
Never been kissed.
Never been touched.
Never even talked to a woman.
I am a stone cold incel.
"Bateman, what's going on big guy? You just murdered Paul Allen."
"Kimball, I'm not gonna invite him to dinner at Texarkana, bring him back to my apartment, so I can put an axe into his head."