Fozzie Bear @FozzieBear Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@brettvito

@HaroldSealy

@Taaiylor

@PPElephantYT

@TonVan2

@0_smalley

@Bridget6196

@CarliCirca

@alltstudio_jp

@LaxeyAFC1

@madhmdy36265634

@drawn

@Albay_Birol

@DeMossi2

@nekotoissyo2014

@bokeplokalmalam

@WintersHowling

@shiki__pp

@keyn0tt

@thatswattsup

@yarikoptic

@AsSa66986762

@RuslanTuguldur

@fg4ny

@Momslover316464

@csknl410

@Markbartlow_1

@KirkMcCuspey

@MSchweighoefer

@jandakembangstw

@SeriesBrasil

@iamtshmoney

@rive_elan

@Lullamae

@BahaaAl50792478

@alhsab_alkhams

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

I went to a wedding that was SO emotional! How emotional was it? Even the cake was in tiers! Ahhhhh! This joke has layers. #WockaWocka !

35

573

5K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

4 years

It's hard to think of many people who were as funny as long as Carl Reiner. He made me laugh 'til I couldn't anymore... then I'd laugh even harder! I wanted to be like him (only with more fur). A legendary comedian, a legendary life. Comedy – and all of us – will miss you, Carl.

24

538

4K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

I have Raquel Welch to thank for becoming a more confident comedian. On The Muppet Show, she helped pick me up when I was down and she was someone I could confide in. Thanks for being my friend, Raquel.

19

412

4K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

wocka

46

431

3K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

Have you ever wondered why snow storms never arrive when they're supposed to? It's because they're so flaky! Ahhhhh! Don't give this joke the cold shoulder. #WockaWocka !

18

260

3K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

Ho-Ho-Ho! Santa Fozz is comin' to town! I brought lots of great jokes to fill your stockings. Like this one: Honey, what's Rudolph's favorite weather? Rain, deer! Ahhhhh! #WockaWocka !

18

318

2K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

4 years

Oh my gosh! @DisneyPlus is streaming all five seasons of The Muppet Show starting February 19!! Hopefully this will prove once and for all that my jokes improve with age – even though they were pretty old to begin with.

35

269

2K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

What do cars eat off of? License PLATES! Ahhhh! And if they eat too much, they have to loosen their seatbelts! Honk if you like my jokes! #WockaWocka !

33

145

2K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

What do you call a hotel that gives you free cookies at check-in? A suite deal! Ahhhhh! That's an inn-tertaining joke, huh? #WockaWocka !

19

191

2K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

6 years

It's already Tuesday? Boy, this week sure is movin' right along!

25

236

2K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

What do you call a photo of a coffee cup? A mug shot! Ahhhhhh! If you don't get this now, I'm sure you'll get it percolater! #WockaWocka !

14

160

2K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

What do you call a yam in a big hotel room? A suite potato! Ahhhh! Feel free to use this to crack up your family this Thanksgiving! #WockaWocka !

18

253

2K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

I've got a joke about my biggest fan that's sure to blow you away! If only I had told it yesterday... on Winds-day! Ahhhh! #WockaWocka !

14

173

2K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

5 years

Happy 40th anniversary to The Muppet Movie! I learned so much making this film... mostly what to do when I come to a fork in the road. Bear Left. Right Frog. #TheMuppetMovie40th

16

254

2K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

What do you call it when you spend the night on a cruise? Overnight shipping! Ahhhhh! If any sailors find this in PORT taste, I'm sunk. #WockaWocka !

16

148

2K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

Why did the horse refuse to sleep in a barn? Because it was unstable! Ahhhhh! Get it? Stable? Try not to fall out of your saddle from laughing too hard. #WockaWocka !

25

153

2K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

Happy almost New Year! Remember to double-check that your autocorrect doesn't change "Happy New Year" to "Happy New Bear" – trust me, I've been fooled before!

13

134

2K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

8 years

Backstage @midnight with my dear friend @kristenschaaled ! She's HILARIOUS! You're gonna love us tonight on the show!

27

149

2K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

Why is it so expensive to buy dried grapes? Because they're always raisin the price! Ahhhhh! The fruits of my labor are finally paying off... in laughter! #WockaWocka !

14

162

2K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

I know a mechanic who can tell what's wrong with any car just by listening to it: He's a real engine-ear! Ahhhh! Get it? Like engineer! What a gas! #WockaWocka !

17

155

2K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

5 years

Ho-ho-ho and Ha-Ha-Ha! Hope you have a very merry – and very funn-ee – Christmas!

9

161

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

Can you believe it? Today is the 40th anniversary of #TheGreatMuppetCaper ! Here's a picture of @KermitTheFrog to celebrate! Or maybe it's me... we look so similar in this movie, I can never tell us apart.

19

150

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

All comedians know that knock-knock jokes are the cutest kind of comedy. It's true – they're absolutely a-DOOR-able! Ahhhhh! Can you handle how funny this is? #WockaWocka !

15

131

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

6 years

What'd the farmer say when he finally found his missing cow? "Dairy is!" Ahhhhhh! Udderly hilarious, right? #WockaWocka !

35

321

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

1 year

Here I am, Fozzie Bear, to answer questions that you've got there! Ahhhh! Go 'head, ask me anything! I'm just bursting with amusing answers and funny follow-ups! #WockaWocka !

244

78

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

5 years

One time I played cards with @HamillHimself and he gave me some advice: "Use the FOURS, Fozzie." Ahhhhh! Hope this joke isn't a Star Bore. #WockaWocka !

20

149

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

4 years

Join us as we all get Movin' Right Along into 2021 with a song in our hearts, a banjo on our knee, and a bear behind the wheel. Happy New Year!!! ….from @TheMuppets .

24

275

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

6 years

COMEDY 101: You've gotta make this face after you tell a great joke. It really sells the punchline!

16

235

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

What flavor of ice cream is the best to eat in a vehicle? CARamel! Ahhhhh! #WockaWocka ! I would've also accepted VANilla. Oh, or rocky ROAD! (Obvious… but funn-ee!)

27

148

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

5 years

Every time somebody says "Happy New Year," I think they're saying "Happy New BEAR." Then I worry that the new bear will have funnier jokes than me. New Year. Same Bear.

16

147

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

Why are owls always the life of the party? Because they're such a HOOT! Ahhhhh! Owl bet this made you laugh out loud, huh? #WockaWocka !

13

116

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

Hey, it's December 1st! That means I can finally bust out some of my favorite holiday jokes. Ready? Why does Santa prefer cats? Because they have CLAUS! Ahhhhh! #WockaWocka !

22

135

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

4 years

How did the chocolate company end up making a huge profit? It was easy, they just FUDGED the numbers! Ahhhhh! Laughter is sweet. #WockaWocka !

18

157

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

5 years

Great news! I found my gag keys in my couch cushion! Finally, I can unlock the trunk where I keep all my joy buzzers, rubber chickens, and whoopee cushions. Comedy just got a LOT funnier!

14

111

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

I ate at the fanciest restaurant today! How fancy was it? They had a whole salad dressing room! Ahhhhh! Lettuce see how many laughs this gets. #WockaWocka !

25

86

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

My New Year's resolution this year is the same as it is every year: Never stop telling jokes! Remember, where there's a will, there's a way to make 'em laugh!

9

97

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

7 years

The Muppets Take The O2 in London this July! Come see @KermittheFrog , me, and the whole gang. Just #WockaWocka this way to get your tickets now:

22

199

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

Is it too early to start wearing ugly Christmas sweaters? I hope so... because I don't think mine are ugly and I need more time to find one!

13

110

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

Happy #MothersDay to my Ma and all the great moms out there! Hope you have the best day ever. Remember: Mom spelled upside down is Wow! Ahhhhh! #WockaWocka !

6

104

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

What did everyone say about Rudolph's first Christmas Eve flight? He got glowing reviews!💡 Ahhhhh! Everyone nose this one! #WockaWocka !

4

141

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

Can you believe The Muppet Movie was released in theaters on this day in 1979? I know I bear-ly can! Ahhhh! #WockaWocka !

20

127

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

What do you think of my spiffy new haircut? I asked the barber to give me the funniest hairstyle – but I think it might even be a cut above that! Ahhhhh! #WockaWocka !

24

90

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

5 years

Why did the god of thunder go to the doctor? Because he had a Thor throat! Ahhhhh! Get it? Thor? Throat? #WockaWocka !

20

186

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

5 years

Are you ready for my first holiday joke? What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? ......Claus-trophobic! I hope that doesn't cost me a present this year. #WockaWocka !

17

203

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

What do you call gingerbread men who jump in line? Cookie cutters! Ahhhhh! It's okay if you don't laugh at that one – that's just how the cookie crumbles! #WockaWocka !

9

138

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

5 years

Happy #MothersDay , Ma! Thanks for encouraging my comedy ever since I was a cub. She's gave me my first rubber chicken... though back then it was just a rubber egg! Ahhhhh! #WockaWocka !

3

153

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

4 years

A good comedian can be funny on stage in front of an audience, but a great comedian doesn't need a stage or an audience… or laughter. At least that's what I tell myself between bookings.

14

113

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

1 year

Do you know why the reporter started an ice cream shop? Because he always had the best scoops! Ahhhhh! Cone you believe how funny this is? #WockaWocka !

24

128

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

4 years

Every year my Ma knits me a new holiday sweater! This is one of my favorites. Itchy, but in a funny way, you know?

11

62

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

4 years

Why do you have to pull out the insides of pumpkins before you carve them? Well, how else would you celebrate HOLLOW-ween? Ahhhhh! Pretty gourd joke, huh? #WockaWocka !

19

188

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

wocka

16

84

1K

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

1 year

A good prop comic can take any object and make it funny! I'm still learning the basics, so I use props that are already funny.

9

63

982

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

1 year

Better hold on to your hats – do you know what the windiest month is? It's AuGUST! Ahhhh! It's also the cutest month because every time I say it I say "Awww-gust!" #WockaWocka !

16

132

983

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

Happy #MothersDay , Ma! Thanks for always being there for me, whether I need someone to help get banana creme pie out of my fur or re-inflate my whoopee cushion.

5

92

950

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

Did you know exactly 50% of people think you should never bring a banana to Thanksgiving dinner? It's a real banana split decision! Ahhhhh! #WockaWocka !

17

101

924

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

9 months

The best way to ring in a new year is with a few good laughs! Give me a topic, and I'll give you a joke to start your 2024 off in a hilarious way!

173

87

921

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

11 months

What do you get when you cross a bear with a pine tree? A furry fir! Ahhhh! This joke is pretty evergreen, don't you think? #WockaWocka !

20

125

920

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

What do you call a werewolf without fur? A barewolf! Ahhhhh! Not to be confused with a bear-wolf, which is my Halloween costume this year. #WockaWocka !

17

118

913

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

4 years

I'm testing out a new way of doing stand-up –– facing away from the audience! @StatlerWaldorf say my act is a lot better this way.

20

61

894

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

Do you know what the safest insects in the world are? I do! Insure-ants! Ahhhhh! I'm liable for your laughter. #WockaWocka !

8

84

902

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

Comedy, hibernation, funny hats? Want to know more? Ask me anything about anything, and who knows, a funny thing might happen on the way to the answer! So what do you want to know? I can bear-ly wait to hear! Ahhhh!

140

65

892

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

What's the handiest tree to have around? A palm tree!! Ahhhhh! You really gotta hand it to this joke, right? #WockaWocka !

10

95

888

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

What did the mummy order when he went out to lunch? A wrap! Ahhhh! I heard it was BURY good! #WockaWocka !

15

96

879

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

Happy #NationalHatDay ! Say, do you know what type of athlete my hat admires the most? A bowler! Ahhhh! It gives you a pretty "striking" look. #WockaWocka !

13

79

878

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

Why are all ventriloquists frustrated with their jobs? Because they only work with dummies! Ahhhhh! #WockaWocka !

9

80

878

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

4 years

Say, have you heard the one about the bananas who went out to lunch? They split the check! Ahhhh! Hope this makes you laugh a bunch! #WockaWocka !

20

126

868

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

4 years

I've been taking dancing lessons! Now I'm not only quick on my feet on the dance floor, I'm also a lot better at avoiding thrown tomatoes.

9

66

866

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

Did you know why this is The @ElectricMayhem 's favorite month of the year? Because they're a March-ing Band! Ahhhhh! I think this joke rocks. #WockaWocka !

13

89

865

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

6 years

Cartoons have always made me laugh, and now I get to make cartoons laugh! Ahhhh! Don't miss my first-ever voice acting role as Dr. Enamel in a new episode of #BigCityGreens , airing Saturday, February 9 at 8:30am on @DisneyChannel . Check out more here:

23

149

845

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

In Muppet Treasure Island, I shared the screen with Mr. Bimbo, a man who lived in my finger. I loved talking to him – he always had a point! Ahhhhh! I hope you give this joke at least one thumb up. #WockaWocka !

17

83

865

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

1 year

It's a lovely day for a drive! I think I'll go buy a bouquet of flowers so I can really put the PEDAL to the metal! Ahhhhh! #WockaWocka !

21

94

865

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

6 years

Boy, my coffee order took a long time to get made this morning! Oh well, you know what they say: Better latte than never! Ahhhh! #WockaWocka !

15

161

850

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

Happy 45th anniversary to my big start in show biz: #TheMuppetShow ! We had a lot of fun making this show — and the audience had a lot of fun watching it! Well, everyone but @StatlerWaldorf ...

13

96

850

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

4 years

Happy #AprilFools Day! If you can't think of a good prank, remember that whoopee cushions are ALWAYS funn-eeeee!

10

111

837

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

What kind of clothes do golfers wear? TEE shirts! Ahhhhh! I hear they have a ball! #WockaWocka ! FORE!!!!

7

95

828

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

4 years

Why don't dentists take polar bears as patients? They don't want to get frostbitten! Ahhhhh! Ice see you liked that one! #WockaWocka !

12

105

826

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

Have you ever wondered where all the taxis are parked overnight? In a CABinet! Ahhhh! It's not fare how funny this is. #WockaWocka ! 🚕

9

81

827

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

1 year

Where do aliens go to college? At a universe-ity! Ahhhhh! I hear the dorm rooms have a lot of space! #WockaWocka ! 👽🛸🪐

8

118

826

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

I loved playing Fozziwig in The Muppet Christmas Carol. The character's name was originally just Fozzie, but I convinced the crew that Fozziwig was much funnier! 'Cuz of the wig? Ahhhh! #WockaWocka !

10

67

822

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

Have you heard the one about the replacement sandwich? It had to fill in for another, so they called it a SUB sandwich! Ahhhhh! #WockaWocka !

9

83

819

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

6 years

What do you call a dinosaur who knows a lot of vocabulary words? Thesaurus Rex! Ahhhh! Are you roaring with laughter yet? #WockaWocka !

17

163

807

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

6 years

Why is corn in charge of all the other vegetables? Because it's full of colonels! Ahhhhhh! Get it? Kernels….. Colonels! General-ly speaking, this is a Major-ly funny joke.

18

147

802

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

1 year

What do you call someone who sells movie theaters? A REEL-tor! Ahhhhh! That joke may be corny, but it really POPS! 🍿🍿🍿 #WockaWocka !

18

100

808

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

5 years

Boy, it's hot outside. How hot is it? It's so hot, that my ice cream sundae melted so fast, it was tuesdae before I could scoop it all up to eat it! Ahhhhh! Cone you believe that? Me neither. #WockaWocka !

7

153

799

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

8 years

Nobody could insult like you, Don Rickles... not even Statler and Waldorf. So long, old pal! #RIP

3

257

776

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

5 years

Halloween is a scary holiday for stand-up comics. With so many ghosts saying "Boo" around, it's like being surrounded by hecklers!

6

83

801

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

6 years

What do you call a greedy crab? A penny pincher! Ahhhhh! Don't be shellfish, laugh at this joke. #WockaWocka ! 🦀

18

130

787

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

Just a heads-up: things are really looking up for me and @KermitTheFrog ! Ahhhhh! #WockaWocka !

7

71

801

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

8 months

Wanna hear a joke I can only tell today? Here goes: What'd the tuba player say to his friend who asked him to go to dinner? "I'd love to, but I have to March 1st." Ahhhh! #WockaWocka !

20

142

803

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

1 year

Why are paper airplanes the best at flying? Because they're above the fold! Ahhhhh! Hope you like this joke 'cuz I just winged it! #WockaWocka !

16

86

789

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

6 years

They say good things come to those who wait. So..... I'm just gonna sit here and wait for somebody to laugh. It's bound to happen eventually! ....Do you hear crickets?

23

85

780

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

4 years

Why did the librarian replace her cuckoo clock? She was looking for some quiet time! Ahhhh! I know it's hard, but try not to laugh too loud. #WockaWocka !

14

88

786

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

4 years

@disneyplus Oh, we went with THAT #MuppetsNow key art? I've got something way funnier! Get it? KEY art? Ahhhhh! #WockaWocka !

7

71

779

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

5 years

Halloween warm-up jokes: Why didn't the vampire come into work today? Because he spent all morning coffin! Ahhhhh! Fangs for laughing. #WockaWocka !

7

157

780

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

I thought @KermitTheFrog had invited me to a "Happy New Bear" party — turns out, it's a Happy New YEAR party! My New Year's resolution: Read more carefully.

7

74

793

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

I've been friends with @KermitTheFrog , @GonzotheGreat , and Animal for so long, we can all finish each other's sentences! Well, almost... it's hard to ever know what Gonzo is going to say.

9

82

790

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

2 years

My cousin is a polar bear who just loves to eat wraps! His favorite is a brrrrr-ito! Ahhhh! Icy you laughing a lot at this one! #WockaWocka !

6

78

782

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

3 years

Why did the poker champ want to take a dance class? He needed some salsa to go with all those chips! Ahhhhh! I bet you're laughing at that one! #WockaWocka !

18

108

775

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

4 years

Oh! It's my last chance to make a joke this year! Okay, here goes... What did the large antelope say to the other large antelope on December 31? "Happy Gnu Year!" Ahhhhh! #WockaWocka !

18

123

769

Fozzie Bear

@FozzieBear

5 years

Here's a joke to BRIGHTEN up your day: What do you call two lamps having a brawl? A light fight! Ahhhhh! Now THAT's an illuminating PUNCHline. #WockaWocka !

18

127

761