I've never followed fashion rules too closely. In fact, I prefer to make my own. F'rinstance, in this pictures I'm wearing mittens as socks and a part of a shower curtain as a tie!
Sometimes, being a fashion-forward weirdo is not an easy hobby. It took me 17 years to find a belt that matched this shirt – and 4 more years to remember where I put it after I bought it.
Greetings! It is I, Charles Dickens, and today I am not here to TELL the story – I am here to answer your questions ABOUT the story. Go ahead, ask me anything about The Muppet Christmas Carol in honor of the film's 30th anniversary this week!
It's Christmas Eve, so be wary of any wandering spirits you might encounter who try to sweep you away to the past and/or yet-to-come! If you do encounter an omniscient narrator and his rat friend, say hi!
TO PROVE HOW STRONG I, GONZO THE GREAT, TRULY AM, I'M TYPING IN ALL CAPS!! HOW DO I HOLD UP SO MUCH HEAVY TEXT WITH SUCH INCREDIBLE EASE?? NOT HEAVY ENOUGH, YOU SAY? WELL WHAT IF I ADDED 🐘 🐘 🐘 🏋️♀️🏋️♂️🏋️ 🪨 🪨 🪨 🛳⛴🚢 ⚓️ ⚓️ ⚓️?? STILL NOT ENOUGH?! I'LL ADD HEAVY FOOD TOO! 🧇🥞🍩
In honor of the 30th anniversary of The Muppet Christmas Carol today, I, Charles Dickens, will be watching the film 30 times – on mute! That's right, I'll be reciting it word for word from memory. I do a great
@themichaelcaine
voice.
HARK!! I, Charles Dickens, do hereby decree that the first of November marks the beginning of The Muppet Christmas Carol season! Here's a tease: "The Marleys were dead, to begin with..." Pretty tantalizing, eh? Watch the movie to find out the rest!
What the Dickens?! The Muppet Christmas Carol was released in theaters on this day in 1992! As Charles Dickens, the author of this beloved perennial classic, I thank you for making the film part of your holiday season year after year.
What have you always wanted to know about The Muppet Christmas Carol? Sure, you could ask the director of the movie... but as Charles Dickens, I'd probably know more! Go ahead, ask me!
Some people say you're weird if you wear sunglasses inside... so I exclusively wear them inside! Sure, I bump into a lot of furniture and structures, but it's worth it to go the esoteric extra mile!
If you run out of candy this year, give the trick or treaters bran flakes instead. Sure, some of them will be upset, but the true weirdos will be thrilled!
A word of wisdom for my fellow daredevils who are planning a stunt involving a mob of hungry wallabies: 24 is too few, 31 is too many. Trust me on this.
TOMORROW I attempt to break the world record for answering the most weird questions in a single sitting!! I really need your help, so please start asking me questions so I can answer them tomorrow. Remember: The weirder, the better!!!
I'm diving into the wonderful world of food criticism! My unique angle: Instead of focusing on taste, I focus on foot feel. My motto is if it doesn't feel good on my feet, it's probably not good to eat!
Tomorrow is the first day of October. If you haven't already started construction on your Halloween yard decorations, now is the time!! I'm halfway done with my 17-foot Gonzombie made out of pretzels, nougat, and shredded wheat.
Happy November!! I'm officially in Charles Dickens mode. To warm up for narrating "A Christmas Carol," I'm going to stage my own "A Tale of Two Cities." It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...
For my next artistic escapade, yours truly will answer questions and give advice to my weirdest fans! Hit me with your strangest, most bizarre queries and I'll answer them as outlandishly as possible — guaranteed!
My beach body is finally ready!! I spent all winter and spring with wet sand in my socks so my feet are accustomed to walking on the beach. So far, so gross!
For weirdos like me, community is everything! Without a bunch of people around, how else will I know that what I'm doing is bizarre, out there, and uncouth? You can't spell "weird" without "we"!
I know many of you are big fans of my famous chili pepper shirt. Did you know it's also the world's first and only scratch-and-sniff shirt?! It's true – and weirdly it smells like laundry detergent!
If your Thanksgiving meal includes a performance artiste, make sure you bring extra mashed potatoes. If they're anything like me, a spontaneous mashed potato dance routine is definitely on the menu.
It was the anniversary of The Muppet Christmas Carol, and all were conscious of a thousand odors, each one connected with a thousand thoughts and hopes and joys and cares long, long forgotten.
Many things in life are a delicate balancing act: relationships, work, free time... and in my case, holding two chickens on a six-foot pole while walking a tightrope!
The Marleys (and November) were dead, to begin with... Happy December! Have you watched my spectacular performance as Charles Dickens in The Muppet Christmas Carol this year yet? Do it now!
When the going gets weird, the weird know where to stream! All five seasons of The Muppet Show are coming to
@DisneyPlus
on February 19!! This is gonna be soooo cool!
I go surfing every day!! No, I don't live at the beach, but I built a wave pool downstairs. It's easy... All you have to do is let the basement flood! Surfs up!!
I'm surprising one of my fans by appearing at their Thanksgiving dinner! I aimed my cannon in a random direction, so I don't know where I'm going or when I'll land, but I'll be coming through the roof, not the door, so you'd better be prepared just in case.
Camilla and I love seeing movies together. I bring lots of props so I can do my own 3D effects!! Camilla loves it. The rest of the people in the theater... Not so much.
Happy 45th anniversary to
#TheMuppetShow
!! In the weirdo tradition, 45 is the moldy gelatin anniversary. I mailed everyone from the show a whole crate full!
Check out this nifty photo wreath I bought to congratulate myself on stuffing a tuba full of tapioca and painting a wall with it! It's important to celebrate the weird wins, y'know?
SAY CHEESE!!!! 📸 Thanks! I'm making a commemorative photo album of everyone who joined me in celebrating 40 years of
#TheGreatMuppetCaper
, released on this day in 1981!! (BTW, it's really tough to find a photo album made from cheese.)
Sure, this suit may make me look like a typical businessman – to the untrained eye!! It's actually the outer-layer of my new line of skydiving apparel! Finally, you too can attend board meetings while plummeting 10,000 feet in the air!
Trick or treat!! I know I'm a few days early for Halloween, so if you don't have any candy that's okay. I'll take a turnip or a tuna sandwich or anything weird you're looking to get rid of!
Isn't this picture I took of Camilla GREAT?? It was supposed to be a selfie of me wrestling a komodo dragon, but I had the camera flipped the wrong way.
Being weird is a full-time job! It takes more than grand weird gestures, you must also master smaller weirdness — like watching morning shows at 4 in the afternoon while gargling!
There's nothing I love more than watching weird movies! My favorite way to watch them is sitting backwards and watching the reflection of the movie on a picture frame. I call it picture-in-picture!!
I can't wait to pull off my first great stunt of 2023! (Unless you count brushing my teeth while hopping on one leg and baking a soufflé at the same time a great stunt... but I do that every morning.)
What a thrill to check in with my old pal Figment when Walter and I took a ride on Journey Into Imagination with Figment when we visited EPCOT at
@WaltDisneyWorld
! He’s the real deal!
Once a weirdo, always a weirdo! Trust me, once you've done the backstroke in a pool full of tapioca pudding while reciting every line from "The Sound of Music" backwards, you'll always be a weirdo – and isn't that great?!
Is your feed stretching or are you just scrolling too fast? Here’s your frighteningly funny first-look at the
#MuppetsHauntedMansion
, an all-new Original Special streaming this Fall only on
#DisneyPlus
.
When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Instead, make lemon baseballs!! Just make sure you were goggles when you play ball. When you hit one with a bat, it'll spritz everywhere... which is AWESOME!!
Since my fans seem to love my wild wardrobe, I've decided to post my favorite fashion tips! First: When you need to press your clothes, use a waffle iron. The singe pattern it leaves makes every old outfit new again!
Camilla and I are trying lots of new ways to relieve stress! Tonight's escapade: porcupine acupuncture! Don't worry, we don't pull the needles off — we use whole porcupines!!!
Am I falling down or jumping up? NEITHER!!! I'm sliding diagonally down a snowy mountainside, reaching for a nearby mountain goat! (I thought the goat would like to slide with me.)
I'm putting a daring, thrilling spin on a holiday classic: Instead of hanging mistletoe, I'm strapping missiles TO my toes and flying around the tri-county area!! Look out below, above, and diagonally! WOO-HOO!!!
Once a weirdo, always a weirdo. After you've ridden a jet ski through an Olympic-sized swimming pool filled with mascarpone cheese while dancing the foxtrot with a fox, people won't be able to think of you as anything but a weirdo. (Don't worry – I'll think of you as a genius!)
As a photographer, I've taken pictures of the sublimely strange. But there's one thing I've never been able to photograph: Tapioca molded in the shape of a chicken. I've seen it in real life before, but I'm always too awestruck to snap a photo!
I got to visit EPCOT at
@WaltDisneyWorld
Resort with my pal Robin and we had a blast!! Maybe next time they'll let me play soccer with Spaceship Earth like I've always dreamed.
From way up here, you all look like tiny little ants!!
Oh, sorry. Didn't realize I was posting this – I thought I was texting it to the phone I put in my ant farm.
Happy anniversary to Muppet Treasure Island!! I had so much fun making this movie, I never wanted to leave! In fact, I had a three-picture deal until one of the crew members finally untied me.
Sure, you've heard of paper plates, but what about paper FOOD?! For my latest performance I shall attempt to eat a four course meal made entirely of college-ruled loose-leaf sheets!! Cross your fingers for no paper cuts.
The secret to juggling snowballs? Frozen fingers! I freeze mine by holding onto a bag of frozen tater tots until I can't feel them anymore — my fingers OR the tater tots.
I'm celebrating
#WorldPhotoDay
the only way I know how: while riding a unicycle and carrying a microphone! I find the mic really enhances the audio quality of still images.
A lot can happen in a year. You can grow taller, wider, weirder, and, in the case of my mold collection — all of the above!! Here's hoping it doesn't escape my closet.
2020 is the year I finally produce my long-awaited dark comedy! Don't worry, it's not scary; it's only dark because it takes place during a blackout!! BYO flashlights!!
Have you seen anyone who looks like me or dresses like me?? I'd love to meet them... I'm in the market for a doppelgänger who can go to boring meetings for me.
Why just "have a seat" when someone offers you one when you could RIDE a seat!! Strap rollerblades or rockets to any chair – you'll be in for the thrill of a lifetime!!
I have an EXCLUSIVE PHOTO of the major Muppet announcement coming soon!! Unfortunately, I spilled invisible ink all over it and it disappeared before I could see what it was.
As Charles Dickens, it’s safe to say this was one of the best days EVER!!! We celebrated 30 years of The Muppet Christmas Carol at
#D23Expo
with incredible guests Paul Williams, Jodi Benson, and Nina West!! Now that’s a story worth telling!
BREAKING NEWS!!! I just broke the sound barrier! At least I think I did... I couldn't really hear what the doctor was saying. He either said I broke the sound barrier or I broke my shoulder blade. Hard to say.