Guy behind me in line with an Icehouse tallboy asks if he can cut me in line bc heโs in a rush. I said sure np then walk outside after and see him posted up on the side of Walgreens drinking his Icehouse. I go โBig rush huhโ and he says โYeah, I was in a rush to start drinking.โ
Sometimes I go with the chopped salad at Portillos so I'm not a scumbag takin down 2k calories before noon but I've just been informed that this "salad" is nearly double the amount of calories as a beef. I am legit Regina George finding out shes been eating kalteen bars right now
Thereโs something oddly satisfying about watching Young Mantis make free throws. Never truly know if itโs gonna hit but always does at the last second. Its like watching the DVD logo hit the corner of the screen every time
While on a school trip, a group of Taft HS students visited Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris just hours before the fire. The students will return to Chicago later this week.
My roommate just walks in and casually says heโs throwing a last minute bachelor party for his brother at our place. โBy the way weโre drinking to death tonight.โ Just went from a quiet night to cigs inside.
Iโve cried from laughing at this 4 separate times so far tn with
@Blutman27
. The outfit, the clean white shoes, the slightly bent knee. Itโs the perfect comparison
Just an unreal lie that I cried at the man sleepover last night. This is the same guy who managed to convince everyone that I fucked Ice Spice mind you
I also hated how much
@BarstoolBigCat
believed this
Lady just buzzed Barstool Chi HQ and immediately barges in as I open the door. She starts screaming at me in Polish then says โgive me my money, it mineโ I fire up Google Translations and tell her in Polish she has the wrong place. She giggles and leaves. Live to see another day.
Imagine if Chicago journalists realized the Cody Parkey guy and the John Cusack guy do a podcast together. Unbelievable miss by the I-Team
@RedLineRadio
In the bathroom at
@StoolRiverNorth
and while Iโm urinating Eddie goes up to the bathroom attendant and points at me and says โthis guy hates bathroom attendantsโ and walks out
When someone tells me theyre from the NW side
Brain: Don't say it. Youre 26 years old. You musta figured out a different way to find out about someone from around here by now. Try bringin up mutual interests, see if you and her have similar hob-
Me: what grade school you go to
I should be dehydrated on my parentโs couch right now with a junior burrito posted up in my chest, reading a text from a girl I went to grade school with telling me last night was a mistake. Coronavirus is the worst
My Uber driver just started sneezing so much that we had to pull over on Division. 14 sneezes and counting. Weโre at the point where Iโm awkwardly asking how I can help. Just offered to drive
What makes this all funnier is that Smokes has been talkin about how excited he is for Summertime Chi since October and now heโs about to miss probably all of it. Like a child stranded at an airport on Christmas Eve. Rooting for you tho
@nickysmokess
I need my hometown more than ever. Now itโs South Florida vs Barstool. They canโt even make me a flyer? Say less.
Pop Up Locations/Times:
Friday 6PM-12AM The Den
Saturday 10AM-Close American Social
Sunday Morning- American Social
(Addresses below)
#JusticeForLigmaBallsack
Side note- I may be an intern for Barstool Chicago, but Iโm an unpaid intern.
Meaning that I technically donโt โworkโ for them.
New and old Barstool employees just assembling out of nowhere for a common cause. This is gonna be like the Toby Macguire Andrew Garfield crossover in Tom Hollandโs Spider-Man
#DKPartner
Love how fist bumps are the new norm now. Thereโs a different level of intimacy. With handshakes you become acquaintances, with fist bumps you immediately become dawgs with one another
Said to myself โNo way my Uber driver is playing audio from an episode of The Big Bang Theory in his car speakers right now, right?โ a good 3 times in my head before I decided to ask him. Confirmed
How are you getting ready for the holidays with
@MillerLite
?
Tweet back at us with a picture of you & some Great Tasting, Less Fillings for a chance to win some free merch.
Weโll be picking 1 random winner on each day of the 12 days of Christmas
Woke up to 3 texts this morning asking me if I fucked female rapper Ice Spice before she got famous. Itโs one of those lies thatโs so random that people start to question if itโs somehow true. All we did was make out
@anus