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@Carl_Hiaasen

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Florida, USA
Joined May 2015
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Thanks to everyone for their wonderful tributes to my amazing brother Rob, who died yesterday in Annapolis mass shooting. Superb journalist, extraordinary dad, husband and friend. Our hearts are shattered.
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My brother Rob also would have wanted me to honor -- before I mentioned him -- the other Capital Gazette staffers who tragically lost their lives on Thursday: Gerald Fischman, John McNamara, Rebecca Smith, and Wendi Winters. Our family grieves profoundly with theirs.
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Florida bill would ban young girls from discussing periods in school Here's Ron DeSantis Universe, with GOP lawmakers nosing into your children's most private matters. Welcome to "free" Florida, right? What a farce.
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Four days to go. It’s been a privilege to work for this newspaper since 1976. Please don’t do the math. It was so much fun writing the columns that I lost track of time....
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With or without me, Florida will always be wonderfully, unrelentingly weird | Opinion One for the road.
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Somewhere in Washington.....
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Sign at Florida barbecue joint
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Trump reveled in leaks that hurt Hillary. He now calls disclosures 'un-American'. Payback's a bitch. #OrangeNixon
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At the Capital Gazette, the Death of a Reporter’s Reporter
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DeSantis signs ‘Big Tech’ bill with new speech rules for Twitter, Facebook This joke of a law will get crushed in the courts, and DeSantis will stick Fla. taxpayers with the legal bill. A page straight from Rick Scott's old playbook
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Ron DeSantis convenes his new Election Police squad
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When Trump leaves the White House in January, he will face some of the deepest financial and legal challenges in his family business empire in decades via @WSJ Stable Genius couldn't run a food truck, much less a hotel empire.
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I lost touch with a friend from the Capital Gazette. Now I’ve lost him forever.
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Wearing a mask on a plane isn't "misery," Little Ron. Misery would be gasping on a ventilator after catching the virus from some mask-less fool. Misery is what the families of the 73,738 Floridians who've died of COVID are experiencing. You know, the ones you never mention?
@GovRonDeSantis
Ron DeSantis
2 years
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The attack on @SalmanRushdie this morning was sickening and cowardly. He is a good man and a brilliant, courageous writer. All of us who are honored to know him join his many, many readers in hoping he has a full and swift recovery.
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Kavanaugh said his life is ruined. Parkland dad tweets: ‘Try having a child murdered’
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Maria Hiaasen: Rob didn't make it home for my birthday. This week, I celebrated a new one. This was written by my brother's wife, whose extraordinary strength and grace has helped carry our family through this last year.
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Florida confirms nearly 9,000 coronavirus cases in a single day, a new record Thanks, Gov. Ron "We're Not Rolling Back" DeSantis. Can't wait for the GOP Super-Spreader Convention in Jax this August
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Trump Defends His Mental Capacity, Calling Himself a ‘Very Stable Genius’ Something a stable genius would never say
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The great Pete Hamill died today. He was the heart and conscience of New York journalism, and the kind of writer that all of us wished we could be. Pete was a cherished friend and mentor to me, and to so many others. A giant, generous talent. Irreplaceable.
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Diagonal parking, Florida-style.
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Oath Keepers founder Stewart Rhodes was in direct contact with rioters before and during Capitol breach, U.S. alleges But, wait, they're not antifa -- just more right-wing rednecks. Unless the lizard people from Venus stole their identities.....
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Florida is the most dangerous state in America for coronavirus infections, averaging 23,300 new cases and 227 deaths every single day. If you're not vaccinated, don't come here unless you're dying to get sick.
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Daddy tells us not to wear masks, we don't wear masks. Coronavirus is better than getting cut out of the will
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My friend Dave Barry and I are trying this one more time without medication.
@FLFAF
Florida FAF
6 years
#Derision2018 Making Politics Grate Again is coming #FtLauderdale Tuesday Oct. 9th with @Carl_Hiaasen and @rayadverb !!! The BIGGEST Fall EVENT. . . You just can't go wrong. Get your tickets now
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Orlando Sentinel announces endorsement for whichever Democrat takes on Trump In 2020 Welcome to Central Florida, Mr. President.
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Gunman in Yoga Studio Shooting Had Faced Charges of Battery Against Women, Records Show There's no end in sight for this bloody lunacy. What is Trump's new plan? Armed guards in every yoga studio?
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University of Florida bars faculty members from testifying in voting rights lawsuit against DeSantis administration My alma mater disgracefully caves to Red Tide Ronnie. All Gator donors should think hard before writing another check. @UF @PresidentFuchs
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Rick and Ann Scott’s financial trail leads to Cayman Islands tax haven #LeastSurprisingHeadlines
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Ryan Zinke to resign as interior secretary, Trump says; Zinke had faced allegations of misconduct involving a land development deal An overdue adios to the Gulfstream Cowboy!
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As students watch, lawmakers debate porn but refuse to take up assault weapons ban The Florida legislature is led by rat-eyed cowards and NRA stooges -- a moral wasteland, on display to the whole country this week.
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Court restores federal protections for Yellowstone-area grizzly bears Don Jr. and Eric bummed out. Will go hunt snow leopards instead.
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Embattled EPA chief Scott Pruitt resigns Leaving gooey footprints in the swamp
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Nestlé sucks — literally — the lifeblood out of Florida’s precious freshwater springs | Opinion
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Gov. Ron DeSantis' Covid Response Team
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Dark money details emerge as Artiles and no-party candidate head to court GOP vote-siphoning scam is about to unspool in a Florida court. Not a peep from the My Pillow guy about how this particular election got stolen.
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State of emergency declared in Miami Beach as spring breakers overwhelm the city Dumbass-mania ensues while Ron DeSantis brags about the great job Florida is doing fighting the coronavirus
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DeSantis wanted to ban guns at event, but not to be blamed, emails show Red Tide Ronnie wants people to carry their guns every place -- but not when he's there.
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Rick Scott says America must stop bloodshed in Ukraine with no-fly zone or more planes #FoxNews Finally, Rick Scott finds Ukraine on a map! Another hypocrite who voted against the aid package to Ukraine and grinned for 4 yrs while Trump kissed Putin's ass
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With Alberto looming, Gov. Scott declares a state of emergency for all of Florida This is hilarious. A "state of emergency" in all 67 counties for a glorified squall that's going to nick the Panhandle. Somebody in charge must be running for the Senate.
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Bison-Taunting Man at Yellowstone Is Arrested, Park Officials Say #ExpelledfromMensa
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Anti-Trump GOP group led by Jeb Bush aide will spend millions in Florida to help Biden More and more patriotic Republicans, appalled by what's happening to their party, are standing up.
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‘What, exactly, do you stand for, Sen. Rubio? It’s hard to tell.’
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Trump calls for halting recounts in Florida races for governor and Senate One more dumbass thing he doesn't have the power to do
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Opinion | Do I even know you anymore? Great piece by Scarborough on Southern Trumpsters booing a war hero @JoeNBC
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Florida lawmakers introduce bill prohibiting giving voters water, food in line This vile, racist bill is aimed at urban voters in overcrowded precincts who have to stand in line for hours in the Florida heat. It criminalizes giving water to the thirsty.
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At Least 4 Boats Sink During ‘Trump Boat Parade’ in Texas, Officials Say Make America Swim Again
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Florida’s anti-protest politicians shift their tone for Cuba protesters | Editorial DeSantis proudly signed a law punishing protesters who block highways, but obviously he meant only Black protesters. Not a peep from him about the free-Cuba march on I-95
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Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis speaks to mostly maskless crowd in West Palm B... via @YouTube As Fla. covid deaths pass 30,000, unmasked morons at an Airport Hilton cheer DeSantis's pandemic leadership. Undertakers to celebrate by ordering more coffins
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Warren Zevon Nominated for the Hall of Fame, Thanks to Billy Joel - InsideHook
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Florida Gov. DeSantis’s new data analyst: An anti-mask sports blogger pushing coronavirus conspiracies Dave Barry did NOT make this up: DeSantis really hired an anti-mask screamer with no data training to do covid data analysis. Good luck, Florida!
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‘Beast of a snake’: Huge python caught in the Everglades could set a new record Snake's last thought: "Wait -- this isn't Mar-a-Lago?"
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NRA officer enlisted a Sandy Hook truther to sow doubt about Parkland shooting, emails show Calling this guy the scum of the earth is an insult to scum
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Rubio stands by calling Trump ‘con man,’ but still backs him Classic Marco!
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‘Hey, Marjory Stoneman Douglas kids — Don’t ever let these cowards we elected wriggle off the hook.’
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They Sat in Hypocrisy
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DeSantis says Florida shouldn’t ‘monkey this up’ by electing Andrew Gillum Well, THAT didn't take long
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Bottled Water Is Sucking Florida Dry A big reason we have sink holes. If only one of them would swallow the state capitol...
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U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene coming to Vero Beach for event with Indian River County GOP via @tcpalm It's nauseating that any political group in Florida would welcome this drooling lunatic who said the Parkland mass shooting never happened.
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Entire Universe Dunks on Florida Surgeon General After Insane Mask Standoff via @thedailybeast Just what every patient wants: A doctor who can't "communicate" while wearing a mask
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Legendary singer-songwriter David Crosby dies at 81 via @nbcnews RIP, Croz. A voice for the ages, a love for music as big as a mountain, and a great friend. No one was more grateful, or amazed, to have gone through so much craziness and lived so long.
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Trump administration approves seismic tests that could harm thousands of Atlantic dolphins and whales An "incidental" slaughter, until dead dolphins start washing up on the beach at Mar-a-Lago.
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Miami Herald wins Polk Award for investigation into Gov. Ron DeSantis’ migrant flights An excellent series exposing how DeSantis spent more than $1 mil in Fl. state $$ to fly migrants from TX to the Vineyard, a dumb, cruel stunt that accomplished nothing.
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The Jan. 6 rally in Washington that preceded the Capitol riot was arranged and funded by a small group including a top Trump campaign fundraiser and donor facilitated by far-right show host Alex Jones via @WSJ Anyone who shops at Publix should read this
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From the penthouse to the jailhouse: Jeffrey Epstein pleads not guilty to sex trafficking This sick creep got busted mainly because of the terrific, tenacious reporting of Julie Brown here at the Miami Herald. She never let go of this story.
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Former Florida attorney general Bondi fronts for Trump effort to stop counting votes If Pam Biondi is considered one of your top legal guns, you're better off calling the firm of Lame, Lightweight and Lost.
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'Miami Herald,' 'Kansas City Star' Publisher McClatchy Files For Bankruptcy Tough day for the Herald and other papers, but at least we're still employed, and the fight goes on
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Charlie Watts, Rolling Stones Drummer, Dies at 80 via @variety RIP, Charlie Watts. One of the greatest drummers ever. So lucky to have seen his last show with the Stones. He was better than ever.
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