About 7 years ago, my wife’s close friend was engaged and I was invited to her husband-to-be’s bachelor party (I like the dude enough, but he’s not like MY friend). His best man sent out a bachelor party itinerary proposing $1500-a man for the day. I was like “I can’t do that.”
And he was like “No—there were only like 5 people there and when I found out what Jack did, we got into a big fight. I haven’t spoken to him since the wedding. I told him all I wanted to do was play paintball and go to a bar or something.”
The best man was like “don’t be a pussy BROOOO” and I had to say, “I know you’re all 28 and have no responsibilities. I hope you have a great time! I have a pregnant wife and I just bought a house. I wouldn’t pay $1500 to go to my best friend’s bachelor party.”
Anyway, I ended up not going to anything because the best man was such a dickhead (a person I had never met before, btw). Fast forward like 6 months and these friends come to our house to meet our son. I asked the husband if his bachelor party was awesome
I cannot believe how many people have seen this thread. If you like this story and want to hear me talk about all sorts of other things, listen to and follow the
@RoundingDown
podcast.
@HofC
No, what he proposed for $1500-a-man was like 18 holes of golf, renting out a private room at a bar in the afternoon, and an overnight at a casino with dinner reservations. It was like a 4-part, daylong party
I have to believe that the Drew Barrymore and Bill Maher things were somewhat of a trial balloon for the studios. I’m sure they were hoping people would ‘quietly return to work’ and holy shit did it not go that way for them.
Rob Thomas carried this loser ass back to superstardom in the 1990s. Nobody would even know who this fuckin bum was if not for Matchbox 20, and now this? Shut the fuck up you old sack of dogshit.
Carlos Santana makes anti-trans remarks at his Atlantic City concert:
“When God made you and me, before we came out of the womb, you know who you are and what you are. Later on, when you grow up, you see things, and you start believing that you could be something that sounds
@StuartScottsEye
I truly believe people should only be able to throw a bachelor party after they’ve paid for a home or a wedding or a child or some other real-life expense.
Dunkin’ Donuts out here just continually replacing the word “fuckin” with the word “Pumpkin” every Fall. Next fall it’s gonna be like “guess who’s pumpkin your wife?”
@mugrimm
The main challenges of white collar jobs I’ve had are:
-bad bosses; control freaks/assholes who make you miserable
-no seniority: too much easy work to do per day
-seniority: so many meetings (7-9 hours a day) that there is no time to get deliverables done (4-8 hours a week)
Frank Reich getting fired in November in two consecutive seasons is really wild stuff. The Panthers should do the right thing here and give Jeff Saturday another crack at it!
the thing about taylor swift is that she so perfectly encapsulates through her lyrics, the interior lives of women. It's why we all can't stop listening. We're all saying, "wait you felt that way? we were all feeling this way?"
do men have someone like that?
As someone who dressed as a costume character for two years I am uniquely qualified to speak on this Rosita incident at Sesame place. That Rosita is a dipshit. Case closed.
I wanna ride in a pitch black void, I want my inner ears to be fucked the whole time, I want to see nothing and do nothing, I just wanna sit in this apple mouse shaped death trap and pretend I’m fuckin dead, chief.
My son’s entire class “lost fun Friday” because kids were “misbehaving,” and I honestly feel like unless 14 of the 24 kids were in a chair-throwing brawl while the other 10 were placing bets on the action, the punishment was not justified. The kids are 7!
I feel like people with this kind of outlook never worked before their corporate careers and that’s why they cannot understand that any/all level/paying jobs are sometimes “slow” and to enjoy it while it lasts because the alternative is being so busy you want to die.
Thanks for the well wishes. Blood work was normal, gonna follow up in two weeks and maybe get it removed. But seems like it’s not anything awful at this point.
Based on a variety of reports, the
@NFL
did not make the decision to suspend the Bengals-Bills game. Rather, players/captains and coaches from both teams, who had witnessed Bills safety Damar Hamlin getting CPR for 8 minutes, said they would not continue the game.
#NFL
@nss_ds
Yeah, one of my college buddies did a similar thing, which was super convenient as I was a new dad at the time and could definitely go and hang out for a few hours at a time over the weekend but could not be there for 48 hours. It’s a nice way to do it.
I put my son to bed at 8:30 and just walked by his room and heard him playing with his hot wheels. I opened the door and he was sitting on the floor and before I said a word, he said, “I wasn’t playing with my cars.” Outwitted again!
My favorite Sarah Silverman memory was when she did a guest Q & A on old Deadspin Kinja and showed up late, didn’t know how to use a computer, called everybody “sportsfags” and answered like 3 questions. This is not a person who’s opinion anyone needs to pay attention to.
There is nothing wrong with just acting normal when out in public. Even if you’re in a bad place or you don’t know what to do, you can always pretend to be a regular person for the benefit of those around you!
When I worked in a Starbucks drive-thru, the best-case customer scenario was when someone was reasonably friendly and left a tip. The worst-case scenario was basically this
@SkipSeasoned
One guy just wants to have his emotional needs met and the other guy just wants things to be logistically easier. It is the most common relationship dynamic.
@len0killer
@kdroosh
I don’t know if you know this but “soprano” is the highest of the four standard singing voices—and “to sing,” is an expression police use when describing informants or those who confess to crimes. Think about that.
He was slandered and defamed for over a decade because he went beyond being a Running Back. He became a movie star, then an author, then a crusader to find the real killers. There was an acquittal in 1994. His. We should trend
#OJ
. It's the least we can do.
This is what going to Disney World is like. It’s full of Leslie Knope style freaks who organize for fun. But also, if you are not one of them and/or do not have one in your party, you will NOT have a good time. There is no vacation on earth that asks more of its guests.
Oh wow. My Equifax data breach settlement check came! Surely they have done right by me, the consumer who was harmed by their carelessness. Let us see…!
RIP Luke Perry. Forever the coolest teen. You really shaped my youth and help me set expectations for myself. Gone too soon. I’ll miss your good looks and aarcastoc quips.
A HUGE congrats to
@BugConOfficial
for not being a super spreader event. 14 days have elapsed and I have seen no TL evidence of anyone catching COVID. This is not an ironic post—great job!
If Elon Musk puts all of Twitter behind a paywall, I will migrate to a website where adults can find their friends. I saw a pop-up for it once and it’s called Adult Friend Finder. I’ll see you all there.
The way to destroy this color lined flag bullshit is for more of us to pile on with our own specific and stupid jobs.
This is the thin maroon line for people who work at for-profit regional hospitals.
This is the thin violet line for people who work at cosmetics stores.
“THEY HAVE A SHOW ABOUT SODA POP BUT GET THIS, THEY ONLY RELEASE ONE EPISODE EVERY 9 MONTHS AND UNLIKE MOST PODCASTS, THERE ARE 3 OF THEM AND ONE OF THEM HATES CARBONATED WATER BECAUSE IT MAKES HIM FEEL OLD—OH AND ALSO THEY’RE STILL IN THIS 15-MONTH LONG BUZZTANK COMPETITION.”
Enough talk about the good times on this website, let’s talk about the dumbest moments on this website. I’ll start: that time people thought there were two drils and the second one was much less funny
The new
@osoosoband
record is their best record—it expands their sonic palette and is consistently hooky and rewarding to listen to. This is the best American band. If you’ve missed them up until now, you can still catch up (and boy am I jealous of you, getting to hear them new).
A problem with Netflix original content is that a lot of it sucks. When Netflix first started making movies and shows, it was like Groupon in 2008 —sometimes REALLY GOOD limited offerings (1 a day!). Now it’s like Groupon in 2014—a scam! A mountain of shit no one wants!
This guy was one of the best Deadspin commenters. He made everyone feel welcome and he could write one hell of a joke as well.
If you’re lucky enough to have an online community where you feel welcome, don’t take anybody for granted. You never know what is going on offline.
It is with a heavy, heavy heart that I tell you that this morning, at 11:15 am Erg passed away with Mrs. Erg holding his hand and family around him. We are heartbroken without him but wanted to make sure those that loved him knew. We'll miss him terribly.
This morning I watched
@SighFieri
get married. Congrats to him and his wife. They are a beautiful couple and it was well-worth driving 4 hours in a hurricane to be there. He lived up to his nickname, Champion Good Kisser. Here’s to 100 years together.
I wore my
@craig_healy
“Friendada Craig” shirt on an airplane yesterday and an octogenarian asked me how I could be both “a friend” and “dada” to Craig and I told him my shirt was some cool bullshit he shouldn’t worry about and thanked him for his service in WW2.
@Srirachachau
I was like 5-12 for the prime years of the Simpsons and I adored it and laughed my ass off at this joke with no context of Rock Me, Amadeus