John-Michael Bond @BondJohnBond Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@thheaden

@boerbierZA

@feellikekmain

@crutweets

@DemirDokum

$\@(João Sanches)@/😍$

@vict06022681

@allabouthanji

@Redwoodinsight

@PharmDinDOworld

@RohitYa76496966

@nalacupcakes

@truvaprensi1713

@chainskp

@sirKendal_CEO

@Sarah_Bawazir

@8_Plain_bread

@Mega7Jay

@rayne_stormm

@AimanHakim19797

@tatataecho

@gelatogalaxy

@ThePredAlert

@1Taif17

@KagohashiM88271

@RBSpecial97

@t_kazuki_staff

@SmudgeStan

@SalySaleb23

@jaybirdoconnell

@dapmahkat

@lizmarie3018

@Biubiuisbubu

@jandakembangstw

@smile_elin_

@Santos88Thiago

John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

9 months

You don’t want AI photos of everything you want. You want this real photo you didn’t know existed until Twitter of a cat you don’t know stealing an egg. The magic is in discovering what you didn’t know you wanted. Kill the treats machine.

cats with pawerful aura

@catswithaura

9 months

EGG THIEF

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

8 months

Pitchfork is one thing, but capitalism admitting it doesn’t know how to keep a legacy brand like Sports Illustrated alive should be a radicalizing moment for Americans. Shareholders are taking everything and burning it. Every business doesn’t need to make a billion dollars.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

7 months

How many years has it been since Congress passed a meaningful business regulation? Nothing on artificially high grocery prices, not regulating how Facebook and Google steal ad money, not even pushing back on price gouging fans at stadiums their tax dollars bought. Nothing.

Gizmodo

@Gizmodo

7 months

Wendy’s Wants to Start Uber-like Surge Pricing in 2025

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

3 years

“As a banjo player I’ve experienced discrimination” is objectively the funniest thing that’s ever been said.

Winston Marshall

@MrWinMarshall

3 years

“Why I’m Leaving Mumford & Sons” by Winston Marshall

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 year

@Bowsnonk I mean, I understand not including him in the shower…

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

3 years

@AmberSmelson @NotAlexis That is absolutely insane. There have been times when I was like "hey guys, I was thinking of doing this thing that's a little expensive. Would everyone throw in $10 for shrimp" or something but just springing it? What kind of lunatic.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

2 years

Right wingers called in a bomb threat to my home town holiday parade because of a float with drag queens but left the Nightmare Before Christmas float untouched because they don’t understand how southern kids actually discover they might be queer.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

My family was financially ruined by my grandfather’s open casket funeral. We had no idea people would go back for a second or third casket.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

2 years

Bugs Bunny is a cross dressing bisexual whose main enemy was a conservative from Texas and literally once cut the state of Florida off of the United States with a saw.

The Recount

@therecount

2 years

“When we were young, you could watch cartoons without having to worry.” — Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL) again baselessly claims Disney is injecting sexuality into cartoons while stumping for Nevada Senate candidate Adam Laxalt

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 year

Couples on Feeld

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

3 years

They won't do anything to fight climate change, the plague, or crushing student debt. Nothing has radicalized me like existing in a world where a rich man keeping a dollar is worth the destruction of everyone else.

Sam Boik

@SamBoik

3 years

The winds will not stop. Entire neighborhoods up in flames. #marshallfire

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 year

My favorite genre of Musk posting is “Dril Tweet, but serious.”

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

3 months

@SymoneBeez @tsukihomie Counterpoint, hiring has gotten fucking insane if people have to send out multiple applications every day for a year to get any traction in the job market. Capital of this country has entirely too much power and protection.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

3 years

Rappers come in three sizes. Big, Young, and Lil.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

This Jay Johnston situation is sad. However, it’s absolutely hilarious that even if you’ve been on TV for 25 years, if you do a comedy, the police will have to ask for help identifying who the fuck you are.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

Send every American family a six week supply of food, $4000, and shut down everything but hospitals and utilities. House homeless people in vacant hotels with food supplies. Do this before agricultural supply lines are impacted. Tax every dollar above 1b at 95%.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

7 years

The most unbelievable part of the Bible is a 32-year-old man with twelve close friends.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

8 months

Beyond this being an insane example of a racist saying “we used to be a proper country,” Alien Ant Farm’s vocalist is the son of an undocumented immigrant from Mexico.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

@joelgolby The city caps how much they can raise your rent by like 3% every year. They can’t raise it legally because of Covid. If they raised it more than the already absurd amount they’re allowed to raise it every year, call the city. Make a point of being a pain in the ass.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 months

@EricYoungArt @rach262003 @LawrenciumWhit “My boy is suicidal?” “Have you given him a gun?”

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

5 years

My favorite conspiracy theory is that the Clinton's have had hundreds of people murdered but have just never gotten better at making the murders not suspicious. Like they're just blood-soaked Mr. Beans.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

To Qanon supporters who feel that down right now, adrift and hopeless without a country, may I suggest Juggalo culture. It’s awesome, there’s forums, the parties are way more fun, and you’ll never be asked to die for someone who doesn’t love you.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

8 months

Hi guys. Just so we can get this out of the way, I didn't use the word magazine. I used the word brand. We're talking about businesses being destroyed while paying millions to the arsonists. If it makes conservatives happy, this bullshit was caused by Clinton deregulating media.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

8 months

@cw404034 Capitalism that does nothing to deal with the rich people who drain companies for profit while actively sabotaging their own business model is not real capitalism.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

7 years

Me flourishing in a comfy place and certainly not suffering from clinical depression that has made me question my self-worth, need to be alive, art, work, and if my friendships exist.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

8 months

It’s not shoplifting, it’s an employee discount for working the check out.

New York Post

@nypost

8 months

Gen Z loves self-checkout — because it makes shoplifting easy

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

8 months

@swe11er You're so so so close to getting it.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

3 years

There’s a history of alcoholism and drug abuse in my family. That’s right, I have high wasted genes.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 year

@DericBindel @Q_Review You have an adorable amount of faith in the courts having nuance they don’t show

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

3 years

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

Do you hate Garden State or do you hate who you were in 2004?

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

7 months

@KLobstar @TheNextBigBoom I like that NeuroLink scaring him in no way made him question any other aspect of who Elon musk is

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

First off, this is obviously a lie. But even if it wasn't a lie, it means Biden heard this story, kept it in his heart, and then voted for the Defense of Marriage Act anyway.

The Hill

@thehill

4 years

"He said, 'Joey, it's simple. They love each other.'" Joe Biden tells a story of what his father told him in the 1960s after they saw two men kissing in public.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

2 years

@dylanmatt Touchscreens are awful, dangerous, and shorten the lifespan of a car. Everything doesn't need a screen.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

Tell me they don’t deserve statehood.

Read No Shortcuts

@JoshuaPHilll

4 years

Holy shit Puerto Rico just brought a guillotine to the Governor’s mansion for their #BlackLivesMatter protest.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

3 years

Now put him in general population. After all our prisons are safe right?

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

@joelgolby Our landlord is trying to pull a bunch of shady shit since Covid started and we have used the free time not working to sit on the phone for hours with people with the city so there are official complaints and records. Interestingly the listen now. Sorry your dealing with this.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

8 months

@itsmejmg That’s not running a business at a profit, that’s gutting a business for a profit.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

3 months

@Boringstein It’s incredible how many people in the arts exist solely to make money from that art and never had any desire to actually fucking make anything.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

8 months

Alright muting this because a few 100K plus follower right-wing accounts have shared it, making the comments even dumber. Thanks for killing my phone battery today and for the new followers. If you run a blog about pro wrestling, let me pitch it to you.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

I married the Tony Hawk Pro Skater soundtrack and honestly couldn't be more grateful.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

5 years

@David_Leavitt @AskTarget Do you know how fucking scummy you have to be to make people side with a corporation?

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

11 months

Regulation could make this illegal. It could bring back local radio, destroy corporate news, ensure small towns don’t only get tax revenue through speed traps, make phones use a standard charger etc. Government itself isn’t evil. Government by people who hate governance is.

Josh Levesque

@JoshBLevesque

11 months

Love paying hundreds of dollars for a flight weeks in advance, checking in 24 hrs ahead of departure, and seeing that we're 6th & 7th in line on a standby list with *22 OTHER PEOPLE*. @Delta really just fucking hates anyone who doesn't upgrade eh?

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 year

The Jonah Hill information is a ridiculous gift to men. A clear example of how something that may have felt innocuous in the moment, hell even healthy in the eye of a shrink, can still wreck a partner. It’s a vital free chance at reflection about your ideas on boundaries. 1/2

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 year

@JennyENicholson @dhacker615 @rianjohnson The final promise of a new generation of children enslaved by the Empire harnessing a rebirth of the force is the most exciting idea in Star Wars, and they did nothing with it

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

@JamieIs4PF You’re packing boxes. You don’t have skilled labor, you have a youthful body that will wear down overtime. You’re attacking someone in a worse situation than you whole cutting your own throat dumbass.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 year

Great comedy is all around you if you look. Just watched a woman let a firefighter get in front of her and three other people at the sandwich shop. He said thank you and then ordered fourteen sandwiches.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 year

Thats right, she can wear pink and participate in the destruction of human life.

Kyrsten Sinema

@kyrstensinema

1 year

Get you a Senator who can do both. #Barbenheimer

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 year

Mother fucker I drink Coors. Nothing.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

Whenever a comedian is outed as a predator people say "and he isn't even funny." For the record, the guy who tried to molest me as a kid was fucking hilarious and it didn't make the experience any better.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 month

@jeremysmiles Didn't he used to do a ton of this sort of crowd work?

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

2 years

Elon Musk is proof that even if you treat a billionaire like they’re cool, they don’t have enough humanity for it to matter. Dude got to date Grimes, host SNL, and was in a Marvel movie as himself and the weird little nerd still pivoted to fascism before just helping people.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 year

Netflix had the power to create without limitations and they used it to weaponize the worst habits of old Hollywood and gut pay while creating an army of TV shows that almost exclusively end on cliffhangers that guarantee no one will ever watch them on repeat.

Variety

@Variety

1 year

Frequent TV Series Cancellations Altering Viewer Behavior, Survey Shows

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

3 months

@upsidechazwick @SymoneBeez @tsukihomie Not true. Almost no site lets you just submit a cv without tons of proofing

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

Weird, I see four killers but only one set of charges.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

8 months

Incredible read for all artists, not just bands.

Fucked Up

@FUCKEDUP

8 months

like and subscribe

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

3 years

Every bank that says it doesn’t want to take money from sex workers takes money from drug cartels that murder children and families. Every bank that says it doesn’t want to take money from sex workers has ties to Jeffrey Epstein.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

@ProjectLincoln @GraceSpelman @ameliabeing She’s upset you stole editing work she did and that you’re a social media hack for a bunch of war criminals who are now trying to do a rehabilitation tour after four years of the mad man they helped prop up destroying America.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

The Democrats

@TheDemocrats

4 years

. @POTUS will build on the $600 down payment provided by Congress last year, sending an additional $1,400 to households across America, totaling direct payments to $2,000 per person.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

If you’ve never played video games, this means America has one hit point left.

Rita J. King

@RitaJKing

4 years

The @EmpireStateBldg reminding us that the city is in the middle of an emergency.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

6 years

I chose to be a freelancer because I love the adrenaline rush of not getting paid on time or getting a cost of living adjustment from the company I’ve been loyal to for three years. Benefits are for boomer cowards. I love knowing my survival is based on Facebook algorithms.

Fast Co. Impact

@FastCoImpact

6 years

Millennials are now the largest demographic in the American workforce, and they’re increasingly deciding to freelance: 42% now freelance, up from 38% in 2014.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

2 years

The Kids in the Hall being brought back by an evil billionaire who tries to crush unions while creating his own spaceship sounds like the plot of a Kids in the Hall sketch.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

5 years

Looking for a single mom or single dad in LA that’s having a tight year and could use an Xbox One under the tree this year. It’s used but we’ll make sure you have some games and a controller. Hit me up.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

2 years

Saw John C Reilly play a man named Mr. Romantic, who lives in a box and can’t escape the box unless he’s performing or someone tells him they will love him forever. He sang standards with a band and told jokes. Best show I’ve seen in years. I think he was playing a demon.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

7 months

@colemanjspilde What an opportunity to build real staggeringly beautiful sets and instead make your slop.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

My wife Emily's tattoo business is shut down until COVID19 gets sorted out. Em has kept hustling and has pivoted to selling art online. She needs 800 more followers on Instagram before they'll let her put links in stories. Please give her a follow.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

I miss documenting people looking hot and cool. Model: @ryankeely

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

7 months

@barge_jeff It's the only fast food I get regularly and I'm out just at the suggestion.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

2 years

Everyone gets embarrassed by their depression but it's perfectly normal. Like, Jesus went into the desert for 40 days by himself and when he got back he was like "uhhh I was fighting the devil?"

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

We gave billionaires a world ending pandemic to prove they knew when to trickle down. It should be war. Tax them out of existence and use the money to rebuild our country. Public transportation & affordable housing didn’t use to be a pipe dream. Healthcare didn’t bankrupt people.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 year

We used to have local free alt weekly papers with local advertising that paid local writers and paid for indie comic strips. We used to have local news. We had local radio and local tv programming. Then Clinton deregulated media, and now companies buy everything good and kill it.

justin van wormer

@jdvdub

1 year

I’ve been thinking about this and it’s a quietly radicalizing realization that rapacious profit seeking has hollowed out so much of what’s fun and community enhancing in our society. So many things just stopped existing because they don’t return 300% to awful people.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

3 years

@DebraDiGiovanni Doctors are lunatics. When I was 14 I told my doctor that I was bulimic, the first person I'd ever told, and he said "but you look so good!" To a kid! Solidarity on your journey Debra.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

8 months

@means_over @cw404034 If you’re not going to know anything about venture capital, shareholders, or how the economy works and incentivizes people to do this shit I don’t think it’s worth talking to you.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

In 2019 my mom was hit by a taxi cab in Chicago. Right before COVID hit her car was destroyed by a tornado. Then on Dec 30 she was diagnosed with cancer. When folks ask how I can still be a Christian I tell them “because I can’t punch God in his stupid face if I’m in hell.”

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

6 months

@CowabungaLLC Man if only every major grocery store wasnt showing massive profit increases and tax payers hadn’t forked over billions for stadiums your point would be cooking

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 year

@Donttellm5 @robrousseau Man it really sucks when there’s a video showing her moving the car slowly and the cop deciding killing someone was more important than moving in front of the vehicle. Ya’ll are so scared of the government until cops start shooting people you hate.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 year

@RWPopulism I think it’s cool when you guys admit you don’t actually believe in freedom and just wanted to control over everything.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

3 years

@Achilles1108 @KOBPatrickHayes Sounds like the free market is working and businesses need to make a job worth working.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 year

@AdiosCarlito @emilystjams Spoken like someone who agrees with her and hasn't bothered to read what she's said and supported.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

5 years

The generation that made it illegal for farmers to repair their tractors and turned everything into cheap unrepairable junk has some words about the shitty world they left their kids.

New York Post

@nypost

5 years

Millennial dads have pathetic DIY skills compared to baby boomers

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

@ladya @ladiawhite @DexterAllen1 @joliverthethird Today you sued the woman whose name you stole.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

It’s truly amazing insurance executives aren’t hunted for sport.

JJMP 🇵🇸🇸🇩

@jonjonmoorep

4 years

wild stuff from NPR yesterday-- baby is born, needs to be in NICU. bill is over $207k. both parents have health insurance. they keep getting bills. here's the crazy fucking reason why omg

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

8 months

@LaneLee21742320 You’re dumb as a brick and waste so much time being angry people you hate exist that you’re robbing yourself of liking sports because it includes people you hate. Live lonely with nothing to enjoy as capitalism robs you.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

8 months

@jeremysmiles My review was just “Barbie should’ve campaigned in Wisconsin”

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 year

On behalf of basically every weird kid from the 80s, thanks man.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

5 years

@ellorysmith Could have seriously used this tweet months ago, but I make amazing sour dough now.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

2 years

Hey, sorry I haven’t gotten around to that thing. I’ve been wallowing in an optional hell of my own creation because it’s easier than asking for help.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

3 years

Rich comedians talk about their job the same way cops do. “I’m not your hero, I’m here to take you through a dark world and uncover the horrible truth that lies behind it (and obviously cover up the crimes of my closest friends).”

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

9 months

@_laurenn_____ It’s a real photo that someone took

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

My wife gasped at this meme.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

8 months

@riptide430 Outside of the mag none of that is true. These are all profitable business if removed from insane corporate greed structures. Podcasts are literally king form journalism. So are blogs. Google and FB destroying the online advertising space to enrich two companies was preventible.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

1 year

Sometimes abuse isn’t screaming or cussing. Sometimes it’s reducing a person and making them think of your shit before they live their life. If your first instinct is to defend him, I get it. But that might be a sign you should reflect on your past. There’s hurt behind you. 2/2

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

2 years

As I approach 40 more of my childhood friends have killed themselves than have gotten married, been able to afford a house, have children, jobs that pay living wages, or ever plan to retire. Boomers harp about participation trophies because it's all those locusts gave us.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

All rent and debt are frozen during this period. Landlords and banks are industries, not utilities. Medicare 4 All is insinuated but lets say it’s name just for clarity. The only reason we haven’t done this already is the government doesn’t want you to know it can fix things.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

4 years

@OnClose @RichieMcGinniss @BarrettWilson6 This man was shot pursuing Kyle after he committed a murder. His gun was drawn to defend other peoples lives. It’s the sort of thing you liars pretend to care about when you talk about the second amendment. You are all fascist apologists for a mass shooter.

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John-Michael Bond

@BondJohnBond

2 years

For those who weren't lucky enough to see Jak Knight live here is his bonkers half hour.