I cornered a couple of male friends to actually tell me the reason and circumstances that led to their cohabitation or marriage.
I discovered men marry for the most ‘stupid’ but important reasons.
Here are some.
Never underestimate the security of stable parents.
I work hard everyday and take crazy risks knowing that if things go sour, I will just pack my stuff and walk back home.
Ability to take such major risks has really paid off.
It is a privilege that a lot of my friends lack.
Packed lunch?
She used to share her packed lunch with him. With time she started carrying 2 packages. With time she started asking him to send money to purchase supplies.
Then? She started alternating cooking places. His house and her house.
Now? They stay together. 🤣🤣
A friend of mine, a serial online writer who studied Engineering, has just delivered a distinction for his UK based client in MSc. Quantitative Finance and Risk Management.
He did most of the work and even prepped his client for physical show ups!
Kenyans will survive 😂😂
Moving to Ruaka taught me some crazy things.
That Kenyan celebs are just normal people.
In fact most of them are actually suffering and pretending to live large.
Another common one.
She increased her visit period from weekends to weeks, then months then years.
This particular friend actually told me they never even discussed his girlfriend’s house. It just vanished.
Cleaning dishes?
I don’t know if this is offensive, but this particular friend was seeing 3 women at the time and only one of them was cleaning the used dishes before leaving.
He found himself so concerned about her, and ended up with her.
A local bank was hiring Senior Devs. I went to the interview and someone asked me to write some code on a plain paper. Not even a white board man!
I couldn’t do it. I can’t. I simply asked the hiring team to improve their interviewing skills especially for Senior roles.
A strange one.
This guy got soooo broke, he started sharing everything with another broke girl in the office.
One day when his house was about to get closed he carried ‘nguo za kesho’ to work and that evening he went and slept at the girl’s place.
The rest is history. They now
There’s a bunch of young boys and girls in Nairobi who want to run to Moringa or to Udemy because they heard someone was earning 500K.
This is the wrong mentality.
Wanting results without understanding the process will have you thinking you are bewitched.
Be warned.
She treats his friends well?
Friends?
He was very indifferent about her but his friends really really liked her.
His friends pushed him soo hard, they are now married.
4 months down the line Starlink:
Would I buy this again? yes!
Latency: Poor for online gamers and extreme streamers.
Downtime: Has happened only once when the latency was too high and I missed a football match
Speed: Very good. 30% of the time they don't meet what they promise
Tech bros in Kenya are fairly well paid. And the single ones are mostly driving around aimlessly whenever they’re not working.
You can create a business around this community and get some good returns.
Here is a list of stuff I think you can sell to Tech Bros.
The biggest catastrophe in Kenya is those of us who earn between 100K and 1,000,00.
We think we are too rich to care about the Finance bill. But in reality, we are poor
I spent the last 6 weeks house hunting.
I didn’t find a better house within my budget. In fact I discovered I am a poor man and I should be content with my current house and neighborhood.
I think 90’s & early 00’s kids are the most financially disadvantaged generation in Kenya.
I went for a morning hair cut and they fired my barber.
I sat there mark timing hoping he would walk in. 30 or so minutes later, I asked where’s so and so.
They gave me stories, but I could feel something is wrong.
I always tip my barber. So I took another 10 minutes to find
The Tech Industry is getting a little messy right now.
A company I worked for has once closed down.
I have been laid off once.
I have quit twice without a solid plan.
Here are some of the tips I have used to survive.
My story is about DCI guys.
This lady who booked my BNB in Ruaka sneaked in some Nigerian guys (no offense here) who were being hounded by DCI for fraud and I think immigration papers.
Long story short, by the time I was arriving at my BNB, the DCI were so worked up, the girl I
I know some very brilliant folks from JKUAT Engineering school.
The fact that most of these brains work in small mediocre firms earning peanuts is a major injury to our economy.
A broken education system.
Looking at my friends earning more than 400K a month, it is very clear none of them is interested in buying a home in or around Nairobi for personal use.
It is very clear the future of real estate will be bleak.
@KensonKmn
I didn’t say it’s a conclusion. Twitter is a space of opinions. Opinions are not facts.
You are free to publish a factual thesis of the same on your timeline.
We got arrested for filming at the Airport! This is getting out of control! We have a right to create content without intimidation! Watch full video on my YouTube channel!
.
.
.
#trending
#arrested
#ContentCreator
Kuna miaka ukifika and you are using different variants and frequencies of WhatsApp (gb,fm,etc), something is wrong with your maturity.
Also if you think Engineering will achieve much for you in this country, you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
Is 3 screens overdoing?
And a dedicated tutorial tv at the top right.
Thing is I am Full stack.
Backend code is always on the right.
React code is always on the left.
ChatGPT and browser at the center.
Meetings, Spotify etc at the bottom.
This is absolute rubbish! You illegally shared MPESA Data with that scam called Hustler fund.
You let paybill and till clients text us illegally day and night to remind us of their events.
You have no clear mechanism of protecting the data that some of your rogue MPESA agents
"We cannot share your data with KRA," Safaricom Chief Finance Services Officer Esther Waititu dismisses rumours of M-Pesa, KRA integration during Tuesday downtime
I get a lot of parents, elder siblings and current students asking me about the study of Engineering in Kenya.
Here is a summary of my cold response.
I believe it’s my duty to let you know that Engineering has done more harm than good to a majority of Engineering Graduates.
I just hit 29.
That age where Uzuri wa mwanamke stops being urembo and becomes tabia.
Anyway, I’ll still be coding in 2024.
And I’ll still be offering alternative voices to Young Techies.
Voices like:
Not all of us earn USD 4,500.
Earning USD4500 is not a guarantee.
We get
On Kenyan Tech bros and relationships.
A good chunk of my tech peers (in Kenya) seem to have unstable relationships.
And sadly, money could be the problem here.
@thisismunaxyz
A lot of ladies can do this.
But you will be shocked what will tick you. It might be she killed some mosquitoes in the house before bed time.
My usual ignorant opinions
1. Engineering is a major scam.
2. Law is a second degree.
3. Pharmacists are too entitled.
4. Nurses, Teachers and Farmers are the most important careers in this country.
I don’t understand why we look down upon number 4 above.
5. Politicians and
It’s very clear that Kenyan software engineers have a vey poor understanding of company loyalty.
Job security is a concept that our parents drilled into our heads because of poverty phobia.
If you are a Software Engineer, you are a career nomad. Be ready to move.
But still wondering, how does an Engineering graduate contribute heavily to a distinction in Finance and risk?
Survival adrenaline or a tough 8-4-4 system?
Now that the finance bill has seemingly passed, I have reworked my budget.
And seemingly the few people who will suffer are
1. My rider
2. My mama fua
3. My car wash guy
4. A few dependents who are not my very close relatives
All these are hustlers.
It will be a sad day.
Harun is doing a great job here.
Here is my take.
I quit my first Telecom Engineering job just a few weeks before my graduation.
I only stayed in the role for 4 days.
(Of course because Engineering is half dead, half scam)
I then took an academic, social, friends and family
Next week, I will set up a Twitter Space to discuss the '6 months rule.' I will talk with a few people I know who have gone through it to come and share their journey. 🥳
Always remember: '6 months of focus and hard work can put you 5 years ahead in life. Don’t underestimate the
My DM is screaming of people who want to code in order to make money. 😂
Good motivation. Wrong mentality.
If you want instant richness, go and do Government tenders.
Tech does not work like a Kenyan Government tender where you sell air and earn billions.
This client, never delayed to pay my boy. He paid him before deadline day. Without a contract 😂😂😂
Anyway long live to the Engineering students making ends meet in crazy ways.
Just remember to avoid crime.
If GoK was a Software Dev Department.
Ruto - Mobile App Developer. Appealing outlook. Always lying and making fake promises to customers to look fancy.
Ndii - Backend Engineer. Stealing and chilling at the back. Only comes out to abuse customers for believing The lies of the
Passion is good.
But in a third world country, we are one civil war or one cancerous cell away from poverty.
Work for money. Code for money. Code for food. Code for shelter. Code for clothing. Code for your family. Code for your spouse.
Ukishamaliza hizi, code for passion.
I fail to understand these levels of trust.
My friend had school emails and school credentials and did stuff as crazy as reminding this guy to pay school fees. 😂
No form of physical contract or NDA was signed. 😂😂
Crazy. Very crazy.
My washing machine has served me quite well for the last 4 or so years.
My cleaning lady is scheduled every 2 days a week, regardless of who is in the house. She cleans, dusts, disinfects and puts any pending dirty clothes in the washing machine.
I will rarely ask any member of
The thing is,these gender roles should come out naturally. My husband shouldn’t remind me to be submissive or to respect him💯same way I shouldn’t remind him to provide and be our leader!. About kuosha manguo ee ee maai lawwd!😂🤣itakua ngumu kidogo, not because i don’t wanna do
Huge Tech mentoring problem in Kenya.
People come to you with fireworks and vanish 4 days later.
In fact the people who I have successfully motivated or mentored are less than 10 out of about 70 attempts.
I do it for free.
Either my strategy is poor or people are just lazy.
Nimeweka API chini for a cool 110+ minutes.
Even the customer service department decided to give clients my number.
Longest 10 years of my life.
Imagine fixing bugs, deploying and testing while responding to clients? ☠️☠️☠️
3 GitHub Actions minutes is like 1000 light years.
The same way I got hired at my job.
Advertise the position. Select on Merit. Have a perfomance contract in place.
We are moving away from selection by popularity Jesse.
If you want to be selected by popularity, go and become an MP. Sawa Jesse.
Use common sense next time.
This is why I have been insisting on some sort of leadership/structure. With the cabinet dissolved how does Ruto identify young people from the Gen Z movement to appoint into his new cabinet if there is no structured way to engage the government?
Men go through hibernation periods.
At this time it’s not just our girlfriends that can’t find us. Even our mothers, fathers, siblings and close friends cannot find us.
It is called the period of ‘a lot is going through me’
Girlfriends and talking stage partners are barely
Hiyo tweet ya men using “going through a lot” to ghost you has made me realize madem hawajui ukiingia mitini unakwanga umechorea kila mtu juu uko monk mode. 🤣
A pal. A Microsoft Kenya Tech Siz really whined to me about how people, especially guys around our age start avoiding her once they discover her career.
She said it’s disturbing for her to struggle to socialize even in events and forums.
She mostly ends up feeling needy.
She
Njaa na bugs za Typescript zikishakick in, anything goes.
Btw check on Tech Bros. Single Tech Bro diets are very questionable. Very bad actually.
Signed.
As I approach 30, I see 3 options
1. Join a corporate as a Senior Developer.
2. Create a startup.
3. Retire, join farming and get married.
All these options do not involve waking up at 6AM to write endless tailwind css lines.
0 to minimal code per year.
Tech recruiters.
You cannot keep DMing and saying my profile is a good fit, then go ahead and say the position is Hybrid in Dubai and the tech stack in PHP.
You want me to fly to Dubai twice a week to use arrows instead of dots in code? Something I have never done?
My first salary as a dev was Kes. 30 to 35K depending on how the CEO was feeling that evening.
I earned this for more than 7 months.
It was very hard for me to get into Nairobi Tech because the Computer Science Grads treated outsiders like enemies.
Wake up -> hydrate -> shower -> home office -> lunch break -> home office -> take hours deciding what to make for dinner -> home office -> bed.
Once in a while, Netflix, Konyagi and a lazy day.
In the home office? Spotify, meetings, eating, tutorials and code.
All this, in a 2
I studied Engineering.
I wasted 5 years of my life.
I could give you 5 reasons why you shouldn't take your child through the torture of studying Engineering in Kenya.
And I can tell you the biggest problem facing Engineering in Kenya is the old guard. 2003 and below graduates.
Having 2 parents in the medical field taught me a few things.
1. I will never ever ever ever ever want to be a Doctor. Never ever.
2. Nurses are equally or even more important medical staff.
3. Doctors rarely have any other technical skills. They must be placed instantly to
In 2017 a JKUAT Student gifted me a printed version of a book.
The Art of Negotiation: How to Improvise Agreement in a Chaotic World
I can’t remember his name, but this has been the most impactful gift in my life and especially my career.
1. Periodic home car checks.
2. Health insurance.
3. Car events.
4. Part time Technical hiring services. Pay Techies a few dollars to interview candidates for your HR consultancy.
5. Reliable meal deliveries.
6. Reliable fresh food deliveries.
7. Reliable alcohol deliveries.
Staying in school for 5 and 1/2 years with the hope that you will become an Engineer remains the greatest scam in the recent history of Education in Kenya.
Wacheni hizo vitu za Engineering.
I have had 3 Tech Leads who are over 33 years.
All men. All married with kids.
No mbwe mbwe. Minimal Social Media. Very intelligent code reviews. Very quick to design solutions.
They drive Honda Stream, Axio and Subaru legacy.
I always call them whenever I am stuck.
The only Tech roadmap is sitting down and starting from anywhere with anything without 4,000 usd expectations. Sawa?
Too much advice will ruin you.
In fact, if you consume too much advice you’ll most likely get confused, overwhelmed and you may achieve less.
In the January of 2021, I got a very lucrative contract. By then.
It changed my life.
The mentality actually pushed most of my Tech Bro friends/circles to very ambitious heights.
By April I was already making 2 year budget plans with this.
In October of that year, I got
#stopkillingJkuatStudents
First of all,
RIP to the good soul of Tabitha.
Secondly, JKUAT Students show up beyond Twitter and hashtags.
Suspend all activities in JKUAT follow your leader
@ibra_shalle
, go to the police station in masses and demand for answers!
@Bella_Cj_
Mimi ni Senior Developer, kukaa tu kwa gate nikiona vile wasee wanaingia is hard.
In fact, some of the most stubborn clients are the ones from the App.
They book for a day then want to pay offline for the rest of the week. And to extend.
It’s very hectic.
Some destroy things
If it is Indeed fair usage, will you refund my mother at home for using 30GB?
If you cap my speed for hitting the limit, you need to refund those who don't hit the limit.
@EarlKaccino
Whatever it is, my barber is my barber.
Ata akienda Kamiti, I will go and shave huko.
Btw casuals, are also fired for bad tax regimes and struggling business environments.
#PayInterns
I once interned for a hopeless firm in Westlands.
I went, upgraded their React Native Mobile Apps, transformed their backend to Java, Deployed & Documented their Apps.
They paid peanuts.
I finally moved then they started mourning.
Sometimes we are pretty good!
My happy ka-chuom.
I love that TV because of the tutorials comfort. And those early morning basketball matches.
Manifesting some good office sound this year.
#100DaysOfCode
As a single Tech Bro, your mother, your sister, your daughter, your laptop and your car are the women in your life.
Dust your macbook and give your German a full tank!
Happy International Women’s day.
@davidsvarrer
A little arrogance is very good for discourse.
I believe based on the number of good devs that chose not to take that interview, the company will relook it’s criteria.
As long as arrogance is not abusive, anyone should be able to handle it.
What next after bootcamp?
Seen a sad trend from some Kenyan bootcamp graduates. After 6 months of bootcamp and no gig for 2 - 3 months, they start applying for another 1 year bootcamp? 😂😂 Are we serious?
Truth is, it’s harder to get gigs right now. Make yourself marketable.
The trend of Senior Software Engineers over-advising Young Software Engineers and throwing big money reports on Young Engineers should be taken with a pinch of salt.
When we have time.
I will break down my thinking.
It is always healthy to have alternative voices in our space,
Met these boys while on a random road trip in Eldoret.
They asked for food and we offered to buy. They insisted they don’t take free things and they must perform for us.
They want to be artists. They were very confident. The oldest is a true leader.
God bless these souls!
What is keeping you in Kenya if you are below 35 years?
Word on the ground is some European businesses are doing trainings on ‘Understanding African Youth’ as major European countries aim at making immigration to Europe easier, friendly and affordable for African Youth.
Black Tax lessons I am gathering with time.
1. Only my parents and very few people who actively participated in raising me up are fully entitled to Black Tax.
2. Spouses should handle their own Black Tax.
3. Friends and siblings can be helped but are not entitled to receing
@FGaitho237
While I understand the red flags, we need to discuss take away.
You want me to be hungry the next morning because of why?
And people actually make reservations? For dates? I am a poor man. I concede.
You know what, we can do it.
I challenge Kenyan based bootcamp alumni who graduated after November 2022 to reply with a link to a personal project they have done or are doing after bootcamp.
Recruiters feel free to shop.