Zach Bruhnke Profile Banner
Zach Bruhnke Profile
Zach Bruhnke

@zbruhnke

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Zach Bruhnke (rhymes with monkey) - Software/Startup guy - dad joke teller and probably the reason we can't have nice things Co-Founder & CEO @hmbradley

Santa Monica, CA
Joined September 2010
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
11 months
Today is a tough one - @hmbradley is shuttering its consumer programs. Not something I ever thought I would write. We're not done yet though, Now we're planning to deliver our products through other banks rather than building the consumer brand ourselves.
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
The next time a VC asks if I’m truly willing to play the long game I’m just going to tell them I’ve been on Twitter for over a decade and I just crossed 1k followers in 2021 🤣
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
10 months
@sweatystartup are you staying at a Motel 6 or something @sweatystartup ?! almost every Marriott i’ve been to in the last year allows this
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
@anothercohen It’s not much but it’s what I call home 🤷‍♂️
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
@paulg I lived with a friend in SF that was in wealth management at a very large old bank. He once told me he worked with “mostly second and third generation wealth”. When I asked why he simply said “There is no such thing as fourth generation wealth” 🤣
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
2 years
Im so delighted to know that many VCs have apparently found their “sweet spot” in value add by telling me, a literal banking expert, how the banking system works and which ~4 banks they roughly believe are safe to move funds into🙄
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
10 months
@rohindhar you need to sell an online course for how to unearth interesting houses across the country on Redfin lol
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
1 year
@anothercohen To be fair I used to take the 280 just to see that house! 🤣
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
1 year
After a decade (literally) of me bugging the hell out of everyone I met who worked at @Plaid to build this I am SO happy to see it go live. Even if people don't realize it yet, this is big, and its a huge win for consumers. Congrats @zachperret
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
1 year
@sweatystartup I had two parents that I could literally count the games they missed on one hand. It had a profoundly positive impact on my life, can’t speak for their egos but I think I turned out pretty well 🤷‍♂️
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
@kevingibbon assume all of your competitors have every single thing you share in a deck - its a safe assumption. Frankly though I'd hand all our competitors my deck anyways ... if they beat me at executing my own strategy I didn't deserve to win
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
1 year
@AviSchiffmann He is planning to never lose another Anti-trust lawsuit 🤣
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
1 year
@Daniel_Rapaport The PGA Championship screwed up
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
that moment when venmo copies your startup's Credit Card rewards almost verbatim ... 🧐
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
@harryhurst @pipe we give every employee three offers at HMB - one with middle salary and middle equity, one with higher salary and lower equity and one with higher equity and lower salary. Let's each employee optimize for their own path and us to avoid awkward negotiations
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
I’d like to apologize in advance if you have a call scheduled with me in the next couple of months … I have a new co-worker who’s going to be a trainee for a while I think …
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
2 years
I’m super happy for @williamhockey and the team at @columnbank but I’m even more excited that I’ll stop getting texts from random people in Fintech saying “I heard one of the plaid guys bought a bank!! Do you know anything about that?!” 🤣 - William truly living the dream here
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
2 years
@sairarahman Way easier to pay people in ego boosts than cash in a market like this 🤣
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
2 years
Just walked into a @firstrepublic branch to get a cashiers check for a truck I’m buying and it’s business as usual, manager overheard me tell the person I was working with that I bought some shares, walks over and hands me some swag, still love First Republic, may buy more now 🤣
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
2 years
OK ChatGPT is insane, I asked it to build a simple HTML and CSS webpage and it did, so then I asked it to convert it to nextjs using typescript and tailwindui and it did. literally took me more time to register the domain than it did to have the site built
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
11 months
I guess I should feel less bad now that I know Apple couldn’t make it work either? 🤷‍♂️🤣
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
I’m on a flight and the stewardess just gave an @_HMBradley shoutout … I’m dying 🤣 wtf is life
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
1 year
@Jason this has @pyrtbilly written all over it ...
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
Twitter folks IRL … @arfrank @mengxilu 🤯
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
Friday thoughts ... what if @_HMBradley paid your 3% APY but you also had the option to get it in Crypto? what would you choose? BTC? ETH? Something else?
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
It just occurred to me I might be one of the only founders in Fintech who loves the sound of 6 rate hikes in 2022 … so ummm LFG
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
9 months
@nikitabier buy AMZN from 1997 to 2014 ... more than you think you can afford and never stop
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
11 months
@Austen Almost certainly the most likely outcome, Greg is still building daily (just look at his tweets) they both live and breathe this, two brilliant billionaires with chips on their shoulders will literally be unstoppable. First company to reach 10 Trillion valuation seems doable ...
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
My wife told me that we had to decorate for Christmas in our household … I think she got a little more than she bargained for …
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
2 years
I'm not gonna lie the DMs from this tweet are 🔥🤣 I have clearly struck a chord here - I guess follow me for more hot takes from tired founders with two week old children at home keeping them up at night!
@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
2 years
Im so delighted to know that many VCs have apparently found their “sweet spot” in value add by telling me, a literal banking expert, how the banking system works and which ~4 banks they roughly believe are safe to move funds into🙄
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
1 year
Money 20/20 was wild as always, great seeing all of you and looking forward to a night of sleeping in my own bed, also now that the cats out of the bag on what we’re up to at HMB, if you’re thinking about launching a deposit product and want to build on a real-time event driven
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
Three Fintech takeaways from #fintechdevcon 1. Whatever @ohadsamet does you should just invest, don’t ask questions 2. Hanging out with @maiab @jasonhenrichs and @shamir_k will make you sound smarter 3. @arfrank still sucks and I’m not sure why people want to be his friend
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
A nice surprise on the first day back to work in 2021 @Forbes names @_HMBradley best newcomer of 2020, honored to be included on this list but still so much more to do, good to see @mlevchin and @Affirm hanging out with us there too!👋 ?
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
We're making moves at @_hmbradley - you should join us too so you can work with amazing folks like @sairarahman - Fireworks to follow (but not the start a forest fire kind!)
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
Trying an Experiment - I've gotten a several messages in the last few days with great feedback, if you were an @simple customer and you're looking for a replacement spend an hour on the phone with me talking about how @_HMBradley could be that for you I'll pay you $100 - DMs open
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
Legit feel like I am living @dhh ’s life right now! @Apple just rejected an update of our app because it had a signup link leading to our site. Removed,rejected! It’s a free bank account but the app is only for customers, it has a bugfix for updating PINS for our customers ... wtf
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
Uh oh ... have I been selected? Is this a draft now? 🤣 @_HMBradley south beach location? 🏖
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
How it Started: How its Going: 🧐
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
Sometimes when I lie awake at night I’m comforted by the fact that if all else fails I can raise @hmbradley ’s next round by taking calls about @usealloy @sardineai @hello_orum @astra_finance and the whole compliance gang from all the“expert” networks 🤦‍♂️
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
I finally feel like we live in the future ... literally yo can tweet at City leaders and end up with an inbox full of DMs about why their city is the right fit for you and your business - can't believe this site is free lol
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
You guys thought I was kidding but our team learned this week I was not
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
@zachperret @Austen @ericwu01 @Opendoor Sounds like I have a new shirt to buy 🤣
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
@harryhurst If Josh Diamond and Walkabout doesn’t end up on here life doesn’t make sense ... he doesn’t have a Twitter but easily the highest value add investor I’ve ever met ... I literally bought and forwarded it to Walkabouts site 😂
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
1 year
If you’re in Fintech and scrambling to get off your BaaS provider shoot me a DM, I want to chat
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
LA is just Miami with worse taxes and better weather @chamath can fix the taxes but @FrancisSuarez won’t fix the weather
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
DYING as I watch @jmover and @CharleyMa sit at this panel at #fintechdevcon and talk about how #embeddedfinance is "overhyped" 🤣
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
11 months
Dear @AppleCard - if you're listening, I can help you pull off the most baller move of all time and we have the tech to build a WAY better product than GS did ... sorry @arfrank 😘
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
2 years
Anyone else find it ironic that the same idiots that were shilling DeFi less than a year ago are now manufacturing bank runs and pushing for even more FDIC insurance after insisting it was essentially unnecessary then? I wish we had more people acting rationally right now
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
I was talking to a company today who floated the idea of @_HMBradley helping revive an iconic brand in finance … I can’t stop thinking about how amazing this collab could be … which leads me to thinking, what’s the brand you wish you could bring back to life?
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
2 years
not to mention at least 1 of the options many are recommending has literally taken on among other things subordinated debt at the parent company level months ago and I bet none of them have ever even picked up a call report or know what that means or why to be worried about it
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
2 years
I mean I hate to say it but that one click checkout Namaste bro kinda called this whole instacart thing 🤣🤷‍♂️
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
1 year
Just released a feature today that let's you build your own "paycheck" from a series of external accounts on a scheduled basis so you can fund your retirement or follow a plan from your financial advisor - I'm guessing your current bank cannot do this 😎
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
OK so hear me out ... what if WSB traders just HOLD and then one of them forms a fund allows others to buy in and they take their (rightful) controlling stake in $GME ... this would be the LITERAL version of Occupy Wall Street - WSB could build the next $BRK.A by HODLing
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
11 months
When @sama was president of YC he stepped into a situation where another alum was saying untruthful things about me. I sent him a facebook message asking for help, he responded within five mins and got on the phone with our investors to de-escalate. He's an absolute class act
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
2 years
CA DFI, FDIC, Treasury, FED, Ny DFS, White House: work through weekend tirelessly to strike a deal that protects Americans Podcast hosts who’ve been screaming fire in a crowded theater for several days: PHEW, THANK GOD WE USED THE CAPS LOCK, GLAD WE SAVED THE US FROM FAILURE!
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
I really love it when our customers advertise for us ... I’d much rather pay them interest than give Zuck advertising dollars 🤷‍♂️ ... it’s even better that they tell their friends!
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
Just Imagine being a fly on the wall in the board meeting where Jack floated buying Tidal Board: What's the reasoning in buying a business with substantially no users or perceived brand value to the general population for $250M? Jack: YOLO Board: Got it - Let's do this!
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
11 months
@mikulaja I know you did not ask me, but FWIW "Runway" is not the problem in our case, we raised an additional 13M in July, but it was focused on the B2B opportunity, we have what should amount to years of runway post shutting the consumer programs
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
@tconrad @hnshah Ladies and Gentlemen THIS is why @tconrad is an absolute legend ... nice way to handle things with class 👏🏻 ... taking chances is never easy but taking as many as he has is more than admirable. Luckily for him (and all of us) many have paid off quite well for him
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
11 months
Just read Fintech Takes from @AlexH_Johnson this AM on our pivot @hmbradley and I have to say, that's a take I can truly live with - Thanks for the kind words Alex!
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
I’d like to take this time to announce that @_HMBradley has entered into a preliminary agreement to acquire substantially all of the assets of which has absolutely nothing to do with another fintech’s acquisition of a music startup ...what a coincidence 🤷‍♂️
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
Who do I have to sell my soul to in order to get this @fintechtoday_ hat?! Seems like every other fintech infrastructure company is begging to put an @_HMBradley logo on their website and you clearly stole the _ from us … what gives @iankar_ we get no love?!
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
1 year
@ericbahn I wonder why you feel this way? Plenty of kids in impoverished states get high or perfect scores, my family was FAR from rich and I always tested well, including SAT and PSAT
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
11 months
Ilya after talking to Satya this morning and hearing all those Azure credits were going to Sam and Greg's new company instead of OpenAI
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
This is a really great read on a really great company - @lithic is building a quiet giant, add to that @bolingj is just a great dude and probably my favorite person to grab a drink with when I'm in NYC (sorry @Jordyalbert !) and I could not be happier for this team - LFG
@packyM
Packy McCormick
3 years
You may not know @lithic . Until recently, it was privacy dot com. In May, it announced an Amazonian move: delivering the card issuing & processing infrastructure it built for itself via an API. Now, it's worth $800M and growing like a 💳🚀
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
1 year
@pitdesi I can’t believe I’m about to suggest this but … @WesternUnion must still be relevant in this situation?
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
1 year
If you’re a founder just avoid listening to VCs and build a business … if you have conviction that’s all that matters, if you’re looking for VCs to help you build it you’re already screwed
@Jason
@jason
1 year
If you’re in crypto pivot to AI
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Zach Bruhnke
3 years
PSA: I would expect Chime’s numbers to look similar to this at IPO too … turns out generational trends are real and they might be here to stay
@tanayj
Tanay Jaipuria
3 years
Wow ~47% of Robinhood's users use the product daily 🤯 That DAU/MAU ratio is close to in-line with the best in class social networks
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
What's up with "grown" men crying on Twitter about how important they are lately? Is there something in the water? Mercury in Retrograde? Like we get it bro, you're super important and successful but like can't we all just get along?
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
@Austen High school … I had a distinct realization … I was not smarter or more motivated necessarily. I just had better parents … kids I went to high school with MUCH smarter than me are likely now in prison. That will change your whole mindset about why people do the things they do
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
Jeff Bezos said "Your margin is my opportunity" not "Your shitposting is my opportunity" so I'm just going to keep doing what I do and you keep doing what you do ... Thanks for coming to my TED talk everyone!
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
@iankar_ Probably because of the amount of fraud it fuels for banks ... it’s one of the biggest sources of Reg E disputes across multiple fraud consortiums 🤷‍♂️
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
1 year
adding an account number to plans and wiring funds from @hmbradley went live on the web app today. You can now generate an account number for a plan and wire/ach money directly from or to it too! Every day we're getting closer to a million of the things we've been dreaming
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
I reached a new level of linkedin appreciation today thanks @arfrank lol
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
Just landed in Denver … turns out it’s hot here, who knew?! 🤷‍♂️ who’s coming to #fintechdevcon ??
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
@VCBrags VC: How can I be helpful? Founder: How can you be helpful?
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
I just had a realization that I recruit employees similarly to how Tiger invests in companies and I think I have decided I have even more respect for their process now because while it might seem "fast" a lot of work goes into it and they are definitely playing the long game
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
Can we also talk about how dumb it is that things like my car insurance and mortgage asks for “education level”? I mean I finished high school over a decade and a half ago but wtf does that have to do with anything and what about all the shit I’ve learned in the last 15 years?!
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
Originally read this as “Standard Treasury meet up in Miami” and realized that I’ve been in Fintech too long and am so old that I know way too many people in it when I immediately thought to myself … “wow @dkimerling and @ztownsend have really gone down that Miami rabbit hole”
@rabois
Keith Rabois
3 years
Standard Tuesday night professional meet up in Miami.
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
@villi Founders actually: you’re targeting 20% ownership at the A no matter what so we want to squeeze as much as possible out of that 😉
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
9 months
@sweatystartup i understand the busch lights for the kids, but are you bringing anything for you to drink? 🤣
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
Did @Wealthfront just lower your rate to 0.10% too? Not all is lost yet! I've got 100 invites that will bump you to 3% as soon as your first Direct Deposit hits - use my code to signup!
@almostcmb
Chris Brown
3 years
Whoa. What a time it is in finance/banking Depository institutions are so flush with cash (with nowhere to deploy it) that they’re in a position to stop paying neobanks/robos for deposits The hunt for yield continues
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
@arfrank @stripe @FeeFighters @pitdesi @Plaid @Chime @_HMBradley LOL @arfrank I want to be upset but this is honestly just A+ trolling on your part I'm a proud #silvermedalfounder
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
I really think @anothercohen is just dead set on becoming an absolute legend on LinkedIn during his parental leave 🤣
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
@CharleyMa I mean @regulatorynerd is basically the GOAT here right? also gotta add @RonDiGiacomo to that list since he's seen it all
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
1 year
Wow I can't believe we're getting paid to shitpost now!
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
For those that saw my talk at #fintechdevcon and thought I was kidding I got this email this morning … so please just sign up for @_HMBradley so I can become the man my Yacht Broker already thinks I am 🤣🤦‍♂️
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
3 years
Honest question…am I the only one that like does NOT try to calculate the paper returns of my Angel portfolio?! I’m just over here like hey look that’s roulette/craps money Its on the table, if the dealer tells me I won I’m excited, but I’m not counting my chips at the table🤷‍♂️
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
2 years
this is your friendly neighborhood PSA to stop running on your banks, SVB did not deserve this and neither does First Republic no one has lost money (insured or otherwise) in a bank failure in the US since 1982, just keep calm and carry on folks
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
BREAKING: The Deck @_hmbradley used to raise $X Million Dollars from Y un-disclosed investors released - you saw it here first!
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
1 year
I wonder how much more money @ycombinator may have made by including a ROFR to invest in future companies of founders at an early stage fixed valuation. My Batch (W12) alone now has founders of some of the best startups out there, can think of 2 in AI now and its been 11 years!
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
@sairarahman Charlie Wilson’s war - by far best movie on the business of politics - plus Phillip Seymour Hoffman was amazing in that role
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
1 year
@NWischoff I think I'd certainly put @firstround and specifically @joshk firmly in that category (though I've never convinced them to give me any money so far 🤣)
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
I'm going to blab on about Fintech, banking and probably tell a few Dad jokes next week ... would be great if people were there to hear it!
@moov_io
Moov Community
4 years
Next week @zbruhnke will be speaking at the Moov community happy hour on "The opportunities and obstacles in building a challenger bank" If you're in Fintech you won't want to miss this talk and Q&A. Signup Here:
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@zbruhnke
Zach Bruhnke
4 years
btw if you're an @venmo user and reading this you should sign up for @_hmbradley instead and earn up to 3% APY, get these same CC benefits AND boost your savings tier APY if you're spending at least $100/month on the card
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