🔴 MY APP IS LIVE 🔴
- siege stratbook: every strategy we’ve come up with over the last year
- daily workout: every morning i’ll post exactly what i’m hitting that day (exercises, sets, and reps)
Get ONE or BOTH here ⬇️
Things we say and their ACTUAL meaning:
"he's one shot bro"
* I missed every shot
"i'm safe to pick up"
* you'll probably die if you go for me
"i'm not even sweating rn"
* my keyboard is drenched and i'm 0-6
"why is he there dude?"
* I died cause I didn't drone
GRADUATED. Started the YouTube dream freshman year, and now college is over... so thankful to say ill be continuing the dream full-time! Thank yall for letting me do both these last 4 years :)
Texas A&M BS in Economics
*in a 2v5*
SSG comms:
he’s goose, coming pirate, stopped at dusty divot. fueling up at granny’s garage, pushing your babushka doll. Bob’s corner, peeking your fishy
Me:
there’s a goose on this map?
Coolest thing ever.
I've been going to this coffee shop for a week now. I order the same thing every time. I walk in. Barista sees me. She turns around, starts working. I approach the counter. She turns around again with MY DRINK and says "it's on me. see you tomorrow." 😳
pro league casters talking about pros
anyone 18-20years old:
“a young buck, crazy good reaction time, expected to be insane”
anyone 21+:
“past his time, a fossil, a miracle they’re still around”
😭😭😭
I showed up early to class to see if I could snag a seat next to this girl
She was the first one to enter the class and sit down
I decided now was my moment
So I went up to her and asked “is this seat taken?”
She looked around at the 399 empty seats around her... “nope”
🙂
Went to Panda Express
My meal was $8.44
Got asked if I wanted to donate to the children’s hospital
I said, sure let’s go to $10
Man rang the bell twice, charged me $18.44 and before I knew it, I was put on a chair, lifted up, and paraded around the store.
I am now poor
When I was little I accidentally poked a hole in the window bug screen. Instead of just being like “whoops sorry mom,” I put some air soft bbs in the window. I then called my mom and said some kids shot at my window…the cops came and did a full search of the neighborhood 😬👍🏼
When asking for a callout, I prefer to hear:
"He's garbage, end him."
than
"he's bottom yellow, quarter health, zipper down."
I have more confidence knowing they're trash
If 2020 was a ranked game:
- 40min queue time to load in
- it's bank
- teammate disconnects and doesn't join back
- enemy team is comprised of level 75s, Plat 3, with 2.5kds
- you lose 87 elo
- you get back to the menu to see MMR rollback -120
I clutch with mozzie "roni crutch"
I clutch with valk "intel crutch"
I clutch with kapkan "trap crutch"
I've concluded, if you dont clutch with castle pistol, you're not talented
Power’s been out for 24hrs, like every store closed, even Target is out of power. Hungry. Cold. No internet. People are pretending to be electrical service people to rob houses. This is the purge
One time in college I passed a girl in the hallway on my way to my apartment
she said "how are you?"
but it didn't register at the time...
so I laughed and said "haha yea"
I dont know if I've ever fully recovered
Today i experienced true betrayal.
A month ago I was talking with my barber, and I told her "you better not leave this place without telling me"
she said, "oh you dont have to worry about it, i'm not going anywhere"
Today I called to ask when she works next
"she left"
The situations tab needs a revamp. Imagine the situations tab was actually a compilation of famous situations in Pro League. You got to experience the positions and pushes going on at that time. And the bots are pro level reaction/aim etc
OR
"how to impact trick" type tutorials
Me: I didn't buy a radar detector for you to just go the speed limit...
Dad: I didn't pay for your college for you to just play video games...
GGWP pops
*chooses operator*
*checks scoreboard*
*waits 2 seconds*
*checks scoreboard again*
*looks away*
*checks scoreboard*
*continues to push scoreboard for no apparent reason, because it apparently is super addicting to check* ya? YA.
Cop: can I see your license?
Me: sure. *left wallet at home for the first time ever* well... Apparently i don’t have that
Cop: oh ok no worries.
*beeping*
Cop: any bombs in the car?
Me: no that’s just my radar detector
Cop: cool. Ill give u a warning
Me: that’s very kind
Iana's decoy should be able to fake a plant. How sick would it be to scroll through valk cams, notice her planting, waste a C4, and be like "Dang. Bamboozled."
had a very polite hacker join my closed lobby in the menu just to say hi… he then said enjoy the music in your next game… the music was the disconnecting sound you get when u get kicked… except it was repetitive for the ENTIRE game… that’s a new one for me
First day back to college
-tornado warning weather
-couldn’t stop throwing up
-had to go to the ER
-had to stay the night in the hospital
-had to Uber home at 6am in a tee shirt and shorts in 30degree weather
-homework due before the 1st day
Freaking pogchamp
This girl came up to me tonight and asked if I was hunter
I was like noooo
She said “gosh darn it I rly wish you were hunter, u look good”
Hope my boy hunter lookin fly tonight
so our softball games have an audience, and one of my friends overheard a girl say "look at the guy on second. he doesn't know it yet, but he's my boyfriend." IM THE GUY ON SECOND. IM THE HE IN THIS STORY. LETS GO. Now I just have to figure out who said it... lol
Vibes > Skill
the new key to winning in siege.
also found out typing ??? after every death illegitimates the enemy’s frag.
it also makes ranked sweats very unhappy 😈 had a lotta fun today