Regardless of your opinion on the queen, this whole thing has shown the true extent of how backwards we are as a country. Thousands of homeless people needing shelter but Sally from Norwich gets to spend the night on a train cos she had to go and cry next to a box for a bit.
Last night I made an absolutely massive chicken and mushroom slice. I didn’t think it was going to work but this is the outcome. NEVER doubt yourself. Your dreams ARE achievable. You ARE worth it.
A study has revealed around 20% of people have either never made beans on toast and would be baffled on how to make it. One in three Gen Zs said they would struggle to dish up classic food.
Have young people lost the art of cooking?
Oh you ruined Christmas by getting a bit too tipsy on Christmas Eve and throwing up on the cat did you? I ruined Christmas by accidentally contracting a mostly non lethal respiratory disease causing my family to fear my very presence. We are not the same.
In the not nicest way possible this woman is one of the most thunderous cunts that British politics has ever produced and I really hope she finds some kind of happiness because she clearly hates herself deeply. Everything that she spouts is just evil nonsense.
The British people are compassionate. We will always support those who are genuinely homeless. But we cannot allow our streets to be taken over by rows of tents occupied by people, many of them from abroad, living on the streets as a lifestyle choice. 1/4
I wouldn’t usually go straight for someone’s appearance and it’s clear that this fella also has a ridiculously shit personality but my god I wasn’t expecting him to look like that
Just went to the dentist for the first time in like 5 years and telling them I regularly drink more than a bottle of wine a week and dabble in the odd cigarette was met with utter doom and gloom when I was expecting them to tell me I was fucking cool
One tweet suggesting that the government/big businesses could do more to help the homeless and its “LeT a HoMeLeSs PeRsOn LiVe WiTh YoU” but you just know they’re the exact people who tweet “what about our own homeless” the moment the discussion of migrants comes up. Twats.
Honestly when this reaches an end I will turn down 0% of opportunities to go out and have a good time. Couple cans in an alley? Yes. Cheese rolling competition? Count me in. Water polo in the Thames during the winter? Fetch me my bathing cap at once.
I honestly absolutely bloody love Beavo my life has significantly improved since Beavo came into it could watch that silly fucker eating dinner forever what a truly fascinating young man
I have a LOT in common with Dua Lipa both being very charismatic and good looking people but also that chap came up to me in soho once to do one of his little songs and I immediately said no and she should have done the same x
This message from a group chat of parents for an *UNDER 8’s* five a side Sunday football team is further proof that men who take football far too seriously are unhinged.
Social experiment: swap Alan Sugar with Alan Carr and have the chatty man doing the hiring and firing and the smug little gimp lord trying to entertain Cardi B and Kim K on a big sofa. All I’m saying is Carr could do both. Sugar would crumble. Dissolve. Melt.
Priti Patel is such a hate filled little shitemare of a lizard person everything she says is poison are there genuinely no slightly less horrible MP chums of hers that ever consider turning round and saying come on Priti that’s a bit much mate I just hope she stubs all her toes
The first early rise of the year is the most difficult one but I simply have to make it to Dino’s Cafe for a full carvery dinner to start 2023 off right
Fuck off if you think you’re the king of lasagne you’re not because I am the king of lasagne. This sausage and fennel number is the best lasagne I’ve ever made or eaten. I wish I could feed it to Garfield the fat ginger idiot because he’d bloody love it.
If Tommy Robinson came to my restaurant I would quite simply ensure him the single worst eating experience of his entire life. Oooh sorry sir I have no idea how those toenails got in your soup! No no that probably isn’t a pube on your very gristly medium rare chicken! Cleft.
Dunno what it is in me but every time I have a glass of wine when the glass is a bit fragile and fancy I just wanna bite it as a joke but I know it would stab me in the fuckin face with sharp glass and cause loads of pain but you know what I mean
I’m doing a pop up on Saturday and it’s going to be absolutely lit if you like pulled delicious duck meat on triple cooked fries with a parmesan aioli but I’m only announcing it on Twitter right now as EXCLUSIVE INFO
Just made pasta with chorizo and capers. So salty. So horrible. Just because you love two things it doesn’t mean they should go together. Use this as an analogy for a parental divorce.
I’ve spent the best part of 24 years not giving a shit about football but for the first time I think this is a team who are incredible. A lovely bunch of talented blokes. I cannot wait to see what they do with the next couple of years. Come on England.
Worst thing about coming home at Christmas and having to isolate with the rona is having to rely on others to sort picky bits fridge raid snack sessions. What lays just behind my bedroom door may be far from the choices I’d have made when face to face with that festive fridge.
Say what you want but a fat juicy chicken Kiev straight from frozen on top of some well buttery mash is probably top 10 dishes of all time I’ll fight anyone who disagrees
Love Actually is easily the best Christmas film there isn’t actually one that comes close I’ll fight you with my bare hands if you disagree take your Home Alone and The Holiday and stick it up your arse
I’m marinading a spatchcocked chicken in a homemade Piri piri sauce and I will be serving this with piri piri chips and a delightful slaw, I’m glad I can share this with lots of people on the internet, it really is going to bang
Mad how the queen gets covid just after sorting her pedo son with 12 million smackers almost as if it’s to take the pressure off Andrew’s sweaty back ! mummy’s will really do anything for their boys !! X
I start my day like most men - I wake up, neck a full freezing cold pint of Ribena and then read a slightly incorrect yet exciting article about myself and my food friends in the Financial Times x
TODAY RIGHT ITS 8 HOUR SLOW COOKED BEEF SHORT RIB DAY. I AM SO EXCITED I HAD TO TYPE THIS TWEET IN CAPITALS LIKE TYLER THE CREATOR DOES !!! EVEN ADDING EXCLAMATION MARKS!!! CAN YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT ??!! IT HURTS !!!
If a filmmaker can’t tell a story well in 2 hours or less then they’re just being self indulgent * and personally I haven’t got the big intellectual attention span for much longer. Plus I need to piss at least twice.
*This does not apply to Peter Jackson’s LOTR trilogy.
Denis Villeneuve says young people want longer films 🎞️
"Think of ‘Oppenheimer’ ... It is a three-hour, rated-R movie about nuclear physics that is mostly talking. But the public was young, that was the movie of the year by far for my kids. There is a trend. The youth love to
I have a strong affinity with squirrels. If they didn’t carry rabies and that I’d constantly have one on my shoulder ready to pounce at potential foes. Just not willing to risk an affectionate ear nibble giving me a foaming mouth.
A big fitness account kindly shared my page today and I’ve had an influx of fitnessy followers. This has collided nicely with today being a day in which I’ve double dropped 2 Gü puddings x
Seeing a lot of people complaining about everyone sharing their end of year musical roundups but what nobody is mentioning is that this is a golden opportunity to see which absolute freaks are using Apple Music and the perfect time to cut them out of your life
Chicken burgers tonight. Seriously dank chicken burgers. Big fat ones. Juicy ones. Painfully huge ones. Ones that make my morning run essential tomorrow.
Got a date you want to impress but unable to do more than boil an egg?
@whatwillycook
reveals how average JOEs can look like kings in the kitchen this Valentine's Day. Hint: don’t be scared of garlic breath…
In my endeavours to support the hospitality industry after a vile period it seems I have accidentally contracted mild largeness but not to worry - I will carry on eating out until I burst
Tell you what I absolutely bloody love those chaps off Queer Eye just going round improving everyone’s life what lovely chaps hope they all have an excellent 2022
This looks like the most fun anyone has ever had. I wish to soar like this majestic tubby man eagle. I dream if both slipping AND sliding. I must glide through the air and land in this urine filled chlorinated liquid. It’s all I long for.
Episode 1 of the YouTube series I’ve been working on comes out tonight. Absolutely bloody gassed.
@LiamcBakes
and I prepared some delightful chorizo pasta and talked the most shit ever. Stay tuned x