manic obsessive nightmare crone just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Head of something,
@passionfruit4us
. Advocate for career creators. Content is a FT job!
You should check us out: . It’s been a collective effort that existed before me and I’ll forever be grateful to
@jdel
and
@gracealastanley
for entrusting me with carrying the banner for creator labor issues.
Had the chance to do the funniest shit ever and took it.
It only took a year and one very cringe moment at the dmv where they made me pull up the
#itysl
sketch and play it all the way through to prove it wasn't gang code.
My Mulaney story: in 2009/ 2010 we went on a date. He was a sober and coming off a long shift at SNL. I was wasted and wearing a ball gown.
I remember him asking me to explain s2 of Twin Peaks, w/ follow-up questions. I wore myself out talking. He hailed me a cab. No 2nd date.
For context, mom has not quit her shit running live commentary since we got to the basement. “Who does this? is she really stupid or something? wait what’s that? Is he ok? Are we watching the same movie? Is it still Detroit? This guy! where do I know him from? I like him more.”
Everyone drop what you are doing IMMEDIATELY:?
FX is in development for a Peep Show remake with two female leads.
Let me repeat: FEMALE PEEP SHOW
HOLY SHIT.
Every 5 minutes of Barbarian sees my mom waving her finger at the screen going “ah-ahhh-ah!”
When I ask her what’s up she snaps “SHHH! Im figuring out what’s going to happen!”
Then 20 seconds will go by and she’s grabbing me like “WAIT what’s going to happen?”
I’ve been in the bathroom with a stomachache for the last third of the film but I can still hear her watching in the other room and she is still talking. Probably happier, now that no one is interrupting her viewing experience with answers to questions she doesn’t want to hear.
I’m trying to find the thread where I watched Hereditary with my mom who asked a million questions even when it became clear she’d ALREADY SEEN THE MOVIE when she declared out of nowhere “oh I bet that little girl’s head is going to fall off.”
Since most of us are scrolling: the context is Chaya Raichik / libsoftiktok posting just the sloppiest fake edit of all time and trying to pass it off as part of her Taylor Lorenz interview.
Chaya is sitting ALONE, with dubbed audio she is trying to mask w/music. Fake news lol
Idk I guess these stories don’t really amount to much except that I was a fucking mess around John Mulaney the first two times we met and I always appreciated how he never acted seemed to judge or think less of me for it despite being sober at the time.
That was chill of him.
@McJesse
“Ah, I see you’ve met my nephew/grandson. Why don’t I ask him to work for free instead of you, a total stranger? The truth is, he just sucks.”
we need to talk about what the fuck what happened in the decision-making process that led to
@littlecaesars
delivering this pizza to our house last night.
@zachsilberberg
@MNateShyamalan
Yeah most vampire shit is just like…good first date etiquette: after dark, avoid garlic, stay away from religious iconography
A few years later I ran into John at the Portlandia premiere party. I had accidentally taken mushrooms and he was sober. He remembered me and made fun of how high I was in a delightful way. I think there was a cat dance involved? Idk. Time is weird.
The fact that Ben Shapiro misidentified several key details of Glass Onion in the exact same manner as a certain character is so on-the-nose I gotta believe he's just mad about the movie's lack of representation of Ben Shapiro types.
3rd time I saw John was a few years later a diner in LA, where a mutual re-introduced is. I was sober and mortified, but John greeted me as an old friend and had me come meet his fiancée like I wasn’t some strung-out chick with substance issues he’d met exactly twice.
The last time I saw John was an Oh, Hello press conference. I was there reporting for The Observer. Nick Kroll and him roasted our publisher Jared Kushner for 5 min.
After, John jogged by me in an empty hall wearing street clothes and old man makeup yelling “IT’S DREW GRANT!”
Omg imagine time traveling back one year ago and showing yourself this thumbnail. Your expression tho...
...lmao priceless
totally worth the trip...
...would do again A+++
no need to return me to 2020...
...ty
Parents are so weird about
#ITYSL
. My mom shit herself laughing over Carl Havok, then totally iced me for the next four episodes, until Corncob TV showed up.
Let’s just say Christmas came eeeeeearly.
I just saw the most effective horror movie of all time. It is called Caveat and is currently on
@shudder
. It is 5 am and I am wide awake, which is nothing new, but today I’m actually tweeting from under the covers where I am currently shaking.
Holy shit.
Holy shit there is a candidate literally giving away free money for Skyping with him or something idk I got too excited to watch to the end but
@AndrewYang
rulez
@elonmusk
Except in this case it’s more like you locked yourself in the coffin and fired the guy whose job it was to dig you up when you rang that tiny bell.
Just saw a hawk struggle to lift the LARGEST rat from my backyard in Burbank before dropping it over neighbor’s fence with a shriek. There were no witnesses, so when
@NerdChronic
came home all I was in tears like “IT WAS JUST LIKE
@pattonoswalt
FORETOLD!”
New thoughts on
#GlassOnion
:
1. Who else had to pause when Alexa tried to Shazam a song for Kate Hudson?
2. Natasha is playing a detective in
@rianjohnson
‘s new film. Angela Lansbury was Murder She Wrote. And this is Merrily We Go Along…with MURDER! But what’s Kareem doing?
You know The Rock is one of the greatest movies of all time when you open with Ed Harris’s Gen. Hummel talking to a gravestone, and — lest anyone is confused about what is going on here — we pull back to reveal the greatest piece of copy in CINEMATIC HISTORY:
Dear Evan Hansen is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, taking a flawed but powerful musical & screwing it up in every possible way—with the single exception of casting Kaitlyn Dever, who is perfect. Man, what a mess.
@Lons
Tbf I was also like “what movie is about prostitution?” before realizing that’s just a terrible way to describe “Poor Things.” Funny that they only compare the other female nominees; I kept thinking “if only Barbie had created the atomic bomb…”
You guys have no idea what it felt like to find this on british tv while channel hopping during a semester abroad in 2004. It was like finding Jesus in your cornflakes. I had such Christopher Columbus syndrome about this program, I thought I’d invented it.
HUGE NEWS! GAME-CHANGING NEWS:
BECAUSE THE FORCES OF DARKNESS ARE REAL
VIDEODREW WILL *OFFICIALLY* BE AVAILABLE FOR ANY AND ALL
@TheSchmoedown
SEASON 7-RELATED ACTIVITY!
SHE IS READY & WILLING TO SMASH SOME HEADS!!!! THANK YOU THAT IS ALL!
Lotta STRONG defenders in the comments, asking why I can't leave the man who hijacked a friend's VF profile to announce he's doing Ibsen on Broadway alone.