Umair Javed @umairjav Twitter profile

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@bokeplokalmalam

Umair Javed

@umairjav

9 months

No plausible scenario in which @salmanAraja loses NA-128 to Aun Chaudhry. The rigging is off the charts.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

9 months

PTI has put up a hell of a fight, esp in north and central Punjab

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

6 years

idher sab se zyada jang ke liye shor machane walay wohi hain jo saath saath IELTS ki tayaari kar rahe hain.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

Haris Rauf ne poori qom ko shut up call de di waisay

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

Asif Ali apology form ke saath ek nikkahnama bhi la doh

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

4 years

Ramzan or as it's commonly known the 'sir ye toh ab eid ke baad hee ho ga' month

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

5 years

Middle class Pakistanis hoard the most useless things in large volumes. Recently discovered a suitcase full of electricity and water bills from the 1980s at my parents’ place. (They moved out of that house 20 years ago but ‘pata nahi ho sakta hay zaroorat parh jaye’)

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

4 years

Machar haramzaday mortein ke ooper naach rahe hain.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

2 years

Ye 1992 nahi 1857 ho gaya hay

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

5 years

My only supernatural belief in life is that Ramiz Raja's commentary causes the Pakistan team to lose wickets.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

mein fiza nahi shiza hun, new response every time someone asks me for work

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

1 year

There is no argument good enough to justify eviction of any refugees, let alone those who have painstakingly built entire lives in Pakistan. But this shameless govt fails to offer any, even half-baked, logic for it. Just a show of force against the most vulnerable.

Arshad Yousafzai

@Arshadyousafzay

1 year

Your Namak (Salt) was enough. Thanks everyone. An Afghan student says goodbye to his classmates.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

4 years

ppl who think they can execute the BTS chunri mashup at a mehndi are deluded. it is extremely difficult.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

Ama ko ab sehri pe hee pata chalay ga.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

Seen a couple of “it happened in UK too” on the Murree tragedy already. Party affiliations have destroyed this country’s braincells and empathy.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

4 years

Whatsapp ke saath saath outlook, teams, aur zoom bhi ek aadhay hafte ke liye down ho jaye toh best ho jaye ga

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

Their resistance and resilience has few parallels in history.

Diana Buttu

@dianabuttu

3 years

Despite bullets, stun grenades, sound grenades, arrests and checkpoints, this is Al Aqsa tonight.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

Karo ab authorities ko phone

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

6 years

Pakistan, where actual coup-makers are allowed a safe exit, but people opposing a crowd-funded dam are threatened with treason charges:

CJ warns of applying Article 6 against anyone who tries to halt dam project

LAHORE: Chief Justice of Pakistan Mian Saqib Nisar on Saturday said he will initiate proceedings under article 6 of the constitution against anyone who attempts to halt the dam project.Article 6 of...

www.thenews.com.pk

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

5 years

Some personal news 🥁🥁(is this how it’s done?): Walking in an actual ceremony a *full year* after defending my thesis and being awarded my doctorate. @FizzahSajjad @LSEsociology

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

4 years

India se kuch der aur dushmani rakh lein; bilateral series ke liye bilkul ready nahi hain

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

idher toh har character hee redemption arc pe hay bhai

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

Cameray walay bhai Akshay dekha de plzzz

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

use of 'vigilante attack' makes this an English-medium version of 'baat toh theek hay magar tareeqa ghalat tha'

Imran Khan

@ImranKhanPTI

3 years

The horrific vigilante attack on factory in Sialkot & the burning alive of Sri Lankan manager is a day of shame for Pakistan. I am overseeing the investigations & let there be no mistake all those responsible will be punished with full severity of the law. Arrests are in progress

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

2 years

Win all 5 ❌ Win the remaining 4 ❌ Win the remaining 3 and hope one team wins all their matches ❌ Win the remaining 3 and pray for a parting of the Nile, demons devouring your opponents, (and 🇳🇱 beating 🇿🇦) ✅✅✅

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

5 years

Learned something more useful from this one tweet than I did in 4.5 years of my PhD.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

2 years

8 yr old me on a domestic PIA flight gets a small carton of apple juice. I ask the steward if I can get orange or mango instead. Response: "apni seat se kharay ho jayein. dekhain ird gird, kisi aur ke paas aap ko apple ke ilaawa koi aur juice nazar aa raha hay?" ☠️

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

4 years

Have no advice for my graduating students except that I'd request you to not hunt for moral + emotional fulfilment in whatever you do to pay your bills. Great if it works out that way, but for many it might not & that's okay too. Find meaning elsewhere (relations, voluntary acts)

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

4 years

Eid mubarak from us (and my quarantine hair)

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

7 years

not sure why people think women have anything to gain by going public with a story about harassment, especially in Pakistan. Kya aap ne kabhi public responses nahi dekhay idher?

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

8 months

twitter khul gaya hay ya morning shift walay captain button dabana bhool gaye hain?

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

2 years

Harrowing details in Azam Swati's press conference. The military's impunity will burn everything to the ground, as we've seen in the smaller provinces for decades. Too many here bringing out ifs and buts when there should be none.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

5 years

na na karte bhi insaan 6-7 pakoray toh kha hee leta hay

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

Just fortunate to share the same time and space as Abida Parveen.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

Diet of most Punjabis was largely gluten free a hundred years before it became a Whole Foods/Trader Joe's thing. Wheat rotis only gradually displaced millet (bajra), sorghum (jowar), gram (besan) and maize (makkai) chapatis in north and central Punjab around 80 odd years ago.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

6 years

Shaukat Siddiqui is not the hero you want or need. He's a bigot trying to save his skin. Stop consecrating his outbursts.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

4 years

Real day of mourning at my parents’ place as their 35 yr old Hitachi refrigerator finally gave up.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

Every Ramzan I’m reminded of the glorious and short-lived all-you-can eat iftar deal at KFC. Ran for 2 or 3 yrs in the early 2000s but local gluttons destroyed whatever profit model the mgmt was relying on.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

4 months

Baat dangerous hay but he is Wasimbhai level

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

6 years

Lots happened today that made me realise just how much our collective political conscience misses Asma Jahangir.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

6 years

This is probably the best content for any speech in his political career, and what a moment to deliver it. #IK

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

7 years

Zahid Hamid's resignation might defuse tensions today, but will enshrine permanent perception of 'guilt' . This bigoted, shitty society leaving him and his family no choice but to leave the country.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

5 years

Hamza Abbasi is such a great caricature of the born-again, consumed-by-guilt-but-still-macho Muslim dunce. A fairly common breed in Pakistan, though sadly this one's become famous.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

Worth re-sharing this gem in light of recent developments.

Parth MN

@parthpunter

4 years

This is gold

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

4 years

One unlucky boomer will get covid after getting vaccinated and it'll lead to an anti-vax whatsapp voicenote that will derail the entire vaccination drive in this country.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

2 years

Thankfully seeing plenty of Musharraf-related reality checks today. One minor sin that occasionally goes unmentioned was his regime's promotion of CNG, i.e. an extremely blatant transfer of a natural resource subsidy to car-owners. Paying the price for it now.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

5 years

Can’t remember the last time Lahore’s air was so clean. What a horrible way to get it though.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

2 years

Atheists explain this.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

1 year

Raja Pervaiz Ashraf is the only ex-PM from the last 16 years to not be disqualified or arrested. Even the only deputy PM is in jail. What a country.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

5 years

Pakistan mein itna product nahi jitna influencer hay.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

5 years

(should be a) popular opinion: they are terrible, a waste of money and food, and incredibly taxing for underpaid restaurant workers. mat paisay zaaya karein kindly.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 months

The greatest Pakistani athlete of the 21st century

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

4 years

Extremely irresponsible to play cricket during a pandemic imo

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

Just got a picture of my weeping 7 yr old nephew from my sister and my hatred for the Australian cricket team just hit another level.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

4 years

Corona-time Lahori weddings are like regular weddings except they’re described as a “small intimate event with just 650 of our closest loved ones”

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

2 years

Total deaths caused by flooding this year are creeping up to the number seen in 2010, but relief efforts + general awareness are nowhere close. Who is being affected probably a big factor in this discrepancy.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

4 years

10/10 timing, delivery, and message. 25 sec of solid gold but that "tuade phopar da vich kee hai?" is ultimate.

KSP

@KaranveerSPannu

4 years

Lmao @GurpreetGhuggi had enough

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

6 years

Aasia Bibi acquitted. May she and all those who made her freedom possible today remain safe.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

7 years

Someone at my friend's office lost a close relative. This is what happened on their work whatsapp group;

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

6 years

As we approach election day, it's abundantly clear that out of all mainstream leaders (+ parties), the PPP under @BBhuttoZardari has carried out the most mature, dignified, and positive campaign.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

5 years

It's a minor point in this larger tale of injustice, but I keep coming back to how Junaid Hafeez left Pakistan's top public sector medical college to pursue his interest in literature and teaching. What a sordid way to reward a dedicated, thinking individual.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

8 years

Those who grew up in Pakistan during the 90s lost an integral figure of their cultural experience today. Rest in peace, Junaid Jamshed.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

A 60+ educated man got something extremely basic right on the hundredth attempt. Congrats to all fellow citizens.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

Isko share kar ke desi molvioN ko thori aur dard dein.

Mohamed Salah

@MoSalah

3 years

🌲 #MerryChristmas

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

Lol

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

6 years

Had the privilege to hear Aasia Bibi’s lawyer speak at a FemSoc event on campus a couple of weeks ago. Completely in awe of his moral clarity and the matter-of-fact disposition he held towards a patently life-threatening job. Hoping and praying for his safety.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

8 years (to the month) since my last cigarette. seems the temptation never really goes away.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

2 years

iss saal bakra meri qurbani de de

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

4 years

Safaid corolla aur jahalat ka correlation kaafi mazboot hay

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

2 years

Students in my Politics of Markets class were so relieved the term was finally over that they got me a cake 🫡

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

11 months

Visual demo of the most galaxy brained method ever devised to combat air pollution.

Mohsin Naqvi

@MohsinnaqviC42

11 months

Taking another step to combat smog in Lahore! A cleanliness drive has started today, deploying four teams with 100 members each to clear the roads from dust. Focused on minimal disruption, this initiative aims to improve air quality without impacting traffic flow. Let's breathe

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

5 years

Poster credit: @sohail_shafaq #AuratMarch2020

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

4 years

So government can't find any civilian competent enough for PTA, NDMA, Info Min, Housing Program, CPEC Authority, Nat Institute of Health etc etc. #theekhogaya

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

May all victims of Dec 16 find justice.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

iss waqt momineen ki duaein multiplier effect mein hain

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

2 years

Wikipedia is one of the greatest public goods in the world and the first port of call for nearly every curious thought and query. Banning it is such an unfathomably regressive move.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

6 years

Dr. Ammar Jan, a law-abiding academic genuinely committed to social justice, has been arrested for participating in a protest by Pakistan’s regressive and thuggish security state apparatus. Please raise your voice against this blatant display of fascism. #WhereIsAmmarJan

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

5 years

twitter ke sainsdaanon, how can pakistan qualify if both pak and eng win their last game?

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

White vlogger in Pakistan on a mission to show that “even people in the slums are good people”.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

Student emailed me asking help for an assignment on political instability in Pakistan and prefaced it with “Professor since you have lived through both martial law and democracy…” ☠️

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

4 years

Grateful for all the messages from last night. @nadir_hassan was an immense presence in my life; one of my closest friends, & a singularly kind & empathetic human being. Among the infinite consequences of this loss, I know watching his beloved @LFC will never be the same again.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

2 months

Brain gain

Fasi Zaka

@fasi_zaka

2 months

Because of slow Internet we are losing all our top talent

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

5 years

Just went over a summary of the proposed health, welfare, and econ stimulus package developed by Govt of Punjab ( @GovtPunjabPK ). Looks really comprehensive and well thought out. Hope Fed Govt provides requisite support.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

2 years

Punjab colonized by UP.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

5 years

"aina nu burger khavao" is my default mood now.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

2 years

Large real estate developers shifting their plot/file business into tehsil-level cities (Kharian, Sarai Alamgir, MB Din, Gujjar Khan) is an extremely destructive trend.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

3 years

Postponed a midterm exam on account of TLP’s protest. Molvis saved a few underprepared students today.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

5 years

PSA: only kids born after 2001 are allowed to say they never thought they'd see the day when Zardari or Sharif would go to jail. 45 year old ecstatic uncles saying the same just makes them look stupid.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

2 years

I might be wrong but I don't think a car that starts at $47,000 is going to combat anything.

Muhammad Ahmad Pansota

@Pansota1

2 years

In my view it’s high time that @elonmusk should think of launching @Tesla in Pakistan. To combat menaces like pollution and global warming, eco-friendly vehicles are need of the day. Mind you Evs are extremely cheap to maintain as compared to fuel driven cars. @sherryrehman

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

6 years

5 years since I quit smoking, and I don't think I've ever gone more than 2 or 3 days at a stretch without thinking about having a cig. What a terrible thing to live with. So kids, don't smoke. And if it's too late for that, don't quit.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

2 years

As an upper-portion resident I need to invest in some form of roof heat insulation otherwise I will not survive this summer.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

6 years

No delivery of Dawn at my parents' place in DHA Lahore twice this week. Fwiw this was the first time our hawker missed a delivery in the last 14 years. Said there's a 'blockage' at the distributor's end.

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Umair Javed

@umairjav

6 years

Tragic, cowardly, and almost wholly expected.