Thinking about that time my Italian housemate told me they put edible microchips in parmesan and I just went "that's great dude" because they were schizophrenic but it turns out they do in fact put microchips in Parmesan
"oh no i'm not a genius like everyone told me i was, because i only got an average score on this single test"
shut up and start actually start doing things
QR codes are just a barcode that contains some text. that’s it.
that text could be a link, or it could be all sorts of other stuff (like a WiFi password, a contact card, a phone number, or anything else that can be done with a fucking barcode)
i used to rely on objects and places a lot for comfort.
however, as i made plans to run away from my parents, i had to slowly mentally prepare myself to be okay with having fewer comfort objects. i could only bring what would fit inside my backpack.
currently thinking about how the main use cases for browser “incognito” windows are:
- porn / weird sites
- viewing content without affecting your recommendations
- bypassing paywalls
- trying to talk to the outside world while in an abusive environment
> tell mother that i’m overwhelmed and just need alone time
> she won’t leave me alone
> insist that i’m overwhelmed, it isn’t her fault, and i *need* her to leave me alone
> she won’t leave me alone
well i guess i’m never coming back here
@xlavrity
i'd say the issue is that a lot of people put way too much weight on it
for a small proportion of people, this can be a good thing. for most people, this is a bad thing, as it causes you to underestimate what you're capable of.
"a green blob and an orange blob are in love and dancing together"
Video generated by Sora
the video you generate for your partner when you dont make it home from office on valentines day
#Sora
so, my list of comfort objects was shrunk down to a phone, a laptop, and a stress toy i was given by my highschool's social worker (which i ended up forgetting about after a few moths, lol).
"hot" take: giving a shit about the downstream societal impacts of a feature in an app that a large proportion of the population uses is a good thing, actually
after running away from my parents, i ended up in what would become an abusive relationship.
i was really bpd and kept changing my mind on whether or not i wanted to be in the relationship, while my partner was really bpd as well and *needed* comfort that i wouldn't leave her.
so i’ve been using the mood tracking app i made for like the past 2 days now, and i have to say, it’s kinda interesting
i need to work on implementing more/better ways to graph the data
i fucking hate bpd
i hate going between being deeply in love with someone and disgusted by them
i hate not knowing if ending the relationship or hiding my negative feelings is the better option
but, i hope this story at least shows that it's far more complicated than just "this drug is addictive, therefore it's bad".
the kind of person who actively seeks out trying hard drugs likely isn't doing great. they likely have deep-rooted issues like i do.
i hope this provides a bit more context to those "i tried heroin and now i'm addicted to it" type of posts on the internet.
i wouldn't recommend needlessly trying strong opioids, they are very addictive. but, in those types of stories, there's more than just the drug at play.
i eventually made up my mind that i wanted *out* of the relationship. but, my partner wouldn't accept this.
she kept trying to convince me to stay. since i'd still be stuck living with her family, as i had no other option, i tried to keep this up for a bit longer.
but, she wanted more and more to convince me not to leave.
she wanted access to my passwords, and my passwords for my computer and phone.
these were my comfort objects. giving her access to these felt like giving her access to my mind.
even before she had the remote access, she would adjust the settings on my devices to her liking. she didn't want the devices to be customized for *my* needs, she wanted everything to be shared, and customized to fit her.
this deeply bothered me.
she eventually got what she wanted, and slowly tried to ask for more and more.
she wanted remote access to my devices as well. when she eventually got this, she would use it to play practical jokes on me.
i was in a relationship i didn't want to be in, and my partner was taking away my only source of physical comfort.
i talked about my discomfort with this on twitter and discord. but, my partner would eventually end up seeing this, which made things worse.
this is how i ended up relying on drugs for comfort. because i was traumatized out of every other source of comfort i could find, until this is all i had left.
i don't blame the drug for this. if i *had* to blame someone, it would be the people who did this to me.
after i left that relationship, my partner realized what she did to me was deeply fucked up (there is a *lot* i didn't mention here!). i don't really care much about it now.
but it deeply fucked up my ability to comfort myself, and i'm still undoing the damage to this day.
ever since i arrived, i would refuse to go anywhere without my packed backpack, which was essentially a "go-bag". my partner tried to convince me this was silly, but i absolutely fucking refused.
i put more effort into making a better "go-bag", especially once i had a job.
so i met up with a cute girltwink i met off twitter dot cum, we cuddled a bunch, frotted, and then got some pizza together
but now i have to go back to my hotel and i’m just vibrating in my bus seat from how energetic i am aaaaaa
i think i might be a bit hypomanic lol
she started checking my twitter regularly, and would make me go through my DMs every day to make sure i wasn't messaging other people about her.
she originally did the same with my discord, but after i had enough "freak-outs", she took away my discord account entirely.
she didn't like how i'd spend a while browsing twitter on the toilet, so she took away my phone while i was on there, and only let me use hers. eventually, she wouldn't let me go anywhere without her, not even the bathroom.
i was essentially cut off from the outside world.
and, while all of this was happening, she would frequently get into arguments with her parents (which we were living with), and they would frequently threaten to kick us out.
i was already a traumatized mess when i came there, and this made things so much worse.
that was an uncomfortable time. after a long conversation, i played along and promised her another chance. i guess this wasn't my first time dealing with an abusive living situation.
but i was still planning on leaving. and one night, a week later, i succeeded.
i tried to make it look like this was just because i wanted nice things. in reality, i was planning to run away from my partner, while also trying to be prepared for being kicked out at basically any time.
i eventually made this better "go-bag", and started planning to run away.
i did lots of planning, i did test runs while my partner was at work, and i made detailed plans on how i'd kick my partner out of all my accounts before she'd even know.
i had to pack all my stuff, change all my passwords, and get through my (remote) work, and then leave, all without waking her up.
i failed, and was caught with a packed bag, ready to leave.
and, after making a secret discord account that i would only login to while at work, i finally had a place to run *to*.
one day, i tried to leap on my chance. but, there was one glaring issue: my partner didn't have work that day, and was home (albeit asleep).
god, i just remembered when i was in middle school, and did my fucking science fair project on tuning golang's net/http library for multi-core performance, because i started on it way too last-minute for my parents to take me to the store so that i could do a "normal" project
so, i found out it’s possible to have videos that change resolution mid-way through the video, and on desktop video players, it creates a really interesting effect
so my old discord account just got the username update
and it looks like “transkatgirl” is taken
so this means two things:
1. discord is reserving usernames based on current discordtags (my main account is transkatgirl
#7004
)
2. some fucker decided to be an asshole
so i was on a call and i thought i wasn’t muted, so i pressed the mute button before coughing
but it turns out i was actually muted beforehand, so i just accidentally unmuted to cough at the rep and then muted again lmao
ngl seeing people on this app talking about how they don’t care about their future because “we’re all going to be dead from AI in 10-15 years” is really depressing
don’t fuck up your life over numbers you pulled out of your ass
so, i found out it’s possible to have videos that change resolution mid-way through the video, and on desktop video players, it creates a really interesting effect
this girl i'm meeting up with keeps wanting to make out with me and grope me, but i just wanna dance around to music, try to do a bunch of tasks at the same time, and give long barely-coherent rants about stuff i barely know about
halp
@liz_love_lace
@nicolas09F9
when googling something, you’re primarily relying on the reputation of the pages you visit to evaluate their correctness
LLMs are a compression of a large set of crawled data; *at best*, they are unlikely to be more accurate than the average of the sources they’re trained on
@nikuw2
the issue isn’t that they exist
the issue is that, for a lot of younger people, the only computer they get to use is a heavily locked down school laptop that can’t run anything but a web browser
and this is kind of terrible for computer literacy
i feel absolutely horrible mentally, to the point where i can’t fucking think straight, and they purposefully make it worse and worse
i want to stab myself, it hurts so much
god, i did not expect healing to be so messy and non-linear
i really just thought that falling in love with a “i can fix you” type girl would help, and it honestly just made things way worse