Pocket Puppy™️ @themalaru Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@stw_pdg

@TheJoinPlease

@charliejxcob

@KwitNiam

@_shit_posting

@6jlZrLb4Dt1JX5y

@jaipur_police

@AnnieLinskey

@poohsquadaxel

@Taps77w

@stwmaniax

@UflashhTV

@PassengerShame

@saraymnn

@ElPasoCounty

@stwmaniax

@mecherie09

@iamkyo00_

@valenstears

@elsalameconpan

@IsmailHussainOf

@dreaming0221

@siapa_hayo___

@HartnettNallywe

@AlbertoMR13

@NSmati

@dryost1

@AnaMatildeGomez

@Otis_1988

@mateoxzapata

@frfr914

@BinorRaja

@regreen55

@bokeplokalmalam

@hufflerr

@micmicyoongii

Pocket Puppy™️

@themalaru

5 years

White people wiped entire civilizations and cultures off the planet for spices and Americans still don't know what a bay leaf is

Zebitas Martinex 🇨🇴🕶️🟣

@ZebitasMartinex

5 years

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@themalaru

15 days

Wearing my party hat so my eugenics debate with my husband doesn't get too heated

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@themalaru

3 months

smh these broads would rather elden ring than gape my ring

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@themalaru

2 months

Helping as many babytrans women get out of bad housing environments is great until inevitably 4 months late they introduce you to their cool new girlfriend, a sex pest 7 years older than her of such grievous notoriety that before this you had assumed she was an urban legend.

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@themalaru

4 years

when my mum calls me to ask me where I am and I dont want to tell her I'm getting drunk in a field

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@themalaru

6 years

Wow those 100 hour work weeks really paid off

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@themalaru

2 months

The polycule when the one with a jobs paycheck comes in

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@33dotdot

3 months

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@themalaru

3 months

Lia V 🦋

@angelrightsnow

3 months

putting a girl thru little mazes and tests and giving her treats or shocks and writing everything down on a clipboard

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@themalaru

19 days

The lusty argonian maid gains a really sinister subtext when you remember that the author, crassius curio, was a councelor for great house hlaalu, who make an incredible amount of wealth through argonian and khajiit slavery.

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@themalaru

6 years

hrrnnn..... optimus.... i'm trying to sneak around... but i'm dummy thicc.... and the clap from my ass cheeks keeps alerting the decepticons....

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@themalaru

2 months

Honestly it feels like this

Pocket Puppy™️

@themalaru

2 months

Helping as many babytrans women get out of bad housing environments is great until inevitably 4 months late they introduce you to their cool new girlfriend, a sex pest 7 years older than her of such grievous notoriety that before this you had assumed she was an urban legend.

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@themalaru

10 months

Bpd bitches love to say "nobody likes me as much as I like them :(" like duh you like people so much you think about killing yourself in front of them when they use punctuation

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@themalaru

1 year

We went from "room temperature superconductors are speculative near future technology" to random dykes floating graphite in their garage in like a week

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@themalaru

1 year

The 40 year old trans woman on grindr who picks me up to suck her dick and then just ends up crying and telling me how hard it was being a queer teen in the 90s

symbol 🌂

@sillysymbol

1 year

straight hair weird al is so scary he just looks like someone's mom

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@themalaru

3 months

Just watched oomf dive directly for the armpit when a girl lifted her arms up for a hug

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@themalaru

5 years

Now in fairness you're supposed to take it out after cooking but like C'mon

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@themalaru

3 months

So untrue worstie

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@themalaru

6 months

Thinking about that time my Italian housemate told me they put edible microchips in parmesan and I just went "that's great dude" because they were schizophrenic but it turns out they do in fact put microchips in Parmesan

𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖊 🕯

@atlanticesque

7 months

“Don’t buy the Italian olive oil at the supermarket, the mafia dilutes it” sounds like the most schizophrenic thing but it’s true

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@themalaru

2 months

"She's been so helpful helping me explore my identity! No we never go anywhere if she's not smoking weed and cutting herself she's either hanging out with me or hanging out with her other two girlfriends. They all hang out together, I'd love to meet them some day"

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@themalaru

11 months

My girlfriend (not autistic she swears): "I've started closing my eyes when we kiss at least. You seamed bothered when I didn't."

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@themalaru

6 years

trying to play a half life horror mod but spend about an hour cry laughing at this

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@themalaru

2 years

I love my wife so much. He just showed up at the house proudly showing me the herbs he scavenged and it took me 30 seconds to figure out that it isn't wild garlic, its incredibly poisonous lily of the valley

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@themalaru

6 years

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@themalaru

8 months

Girlfriend: why do you always assume the worst possible version of everything I say My childhood:

trevy

@chillextremist

8 months

Leave him alone

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@themalaru

2 months

"And the sex has been great! We've been having so much, sometimes when I say not tonight she gets insecure that she's ugly or that I don't like her if I say no and she gets so sad she punches herself so I just go along with it! I'm a bottom so she just does whatever she wants"

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@themalaru

2 months

Just gotta let em make their own mistakes i guess.

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@themalaru

4 years

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@themalaru

5 months

just fired up new vegas for the first time in years and saw the character I was playing as when I was definitely, definitely 100% cis you guys

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@themalaru

2 months

"And then we get pizza and smoke weed and it's fun! No I don't like smoking weed but she likes me to smoke it with her!"

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@themalaru

2 months

And then 5 months later she's crying because I am to date the only older woman in her life who hasn't read through her text messages looking for proof of her lying and misbehaving.

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@themalaru

7 months

Bodes well for the future of the British monarchy that Charlie's gone and got himself a rasputin

🥀🖤🥀

@_smert_miru_

7 months

he’s getting athos-pilled. it’s all coming together.

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@themalaru

6 years

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@themalaru

2 months

This is like, an amalgamation of 3 people I know an a person a friend knows if you can read this it's not about you I'm analysing a trend

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@themalaru

1 year

Me: "is there a drug that mimics the experience of being put down from the perspective of a confused and terrified dog" My 5'5 transmasc twink stoner housemate wearing what Fred durst would wear to a funeral with a bizarre American accent despite never leaving cork: "like, dmt"

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@themalaru

2 years

@boygrrI its a british man acting performatively disgusted at cajun cooking it is kinda racist tbh

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@themalaru

14 days

Lotta heated debate in the replies. Maybe you guys should be wearing party hats

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@themalaru

2 months

"This is my new girlfriend, we met 2 months ago and we're in love. She's never had a job and doesnt have any savings because her mum gave her a cocaine addiction :( but she promises we're going to move in together and she's gonna look after me! I'm so excited!

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@themalaru

2 months

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@themalaru

19 days

It's a book where he manufactures consent for raping his servant

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@themalaru

19 days

He's such a fucking creep i hate this guy

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@themalaru

1 year

God that halo 2 hoodie probably smells awful anyway what's her @

Bbatts

@bbatts523

1 year

Girl takes a hit midset, covered in hickeys, and beats Jmook and Hax on the same weekend She is cooler than all of us

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@themalaru

6 years

got banned from the dark souls wiki today lads

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@themalaru

10 months

You don't need estrogen to be a trans woman but you do have to sit down when you pee

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@themalaru

1 year

@Phreakdawg69 @Devon_OnEarth Imagine if we were in the middle of the industrial revolution, and we'd been using butter to lubricate the machinery this whole time, and someone randomly discovered mineral oil.

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@themalaru

19 days

"Hlaalu don't use slaves!!" The drens own the largest plantation on vvardenfel and orvus is on the hlaalu council. In fact the only great house not to engage in slavery are redoran, not out of empathy or compassion, but because they view it as a cheep and dishonorable shortcut.

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@themalaru

5 years

I'm getting a lot of accusations of anti white racism and self race hatred from this tweet and you know what ur right white people suck die mad about it

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@themalaru

2 months

Lain pfp horseshoe theory

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@themalaru

1 year

Realising we could have been doing it like this the whole time must be what people felt like when they realised you can make purple by mixing red and blue

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@themalaru

1 year

I hate teenagers so much I just told an 18 year old that I'm 22 and she said "oh are you on hrt because you're trans or for your menopause"

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@themalaru

5 years

This joke is old as fuck stop retweeting it

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@themalaru

1 year

My housemate just showed me this lighter I carved 3 weeks ago why didn't you fuckers hospitalise me sooner

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@themalaru

4 months

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@themalaru

3 months

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@themalaru

9 months

Watching another girl sitting on the floor getting treated like a dog by older women at the function rn

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@themalaru

2 months

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@themalaru

6 years

My mum just referred to her coffee as "mommy juice" and I had to physically restrain myself from screaming

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@themalaru

7 months

All men are brothers

weird medieval guys BOOK OUT NOW !!

@WeirdMedieval

7 months

drawings by a 7 year old boy named "onfim" (originally on birch bark), from novgorod, modern day russia, 13th century

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@themalaru

2 months

@aamelting I don't think this is at all relevant to what I was talking about but it's a delightfully fucked anecdote that I will carry with me always. A glistening shard in my mosaic.

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@themalaru

2 years

Girlfriends mum keeps sending her bootleg yugioh cards

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@themalaru

19 days

Guys I'm not moralising about the actions of a fictional character who has, at the time of the latest entry, been dead for 200 years. I'm just making an observation about the world building. could you freaks be fucking normal for once when a woman says something.

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@themalaru

1 year

Weird Alice

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@themalaru

2 months

@progenyofseth Good luck. Don't cut off chunks of yourself to feed something that will abandon you as soon as it hungers again.

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@themalaru

6 years

WONT SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX

Ben Norton

@BenjaminNorton

6 years

With historic news of peace in Korea, the 5 largest US military contractors shed $10.2 billion in value on just one day. Lockheed Martin fell 2.5%; Northrop Grumman slid 3.4%; General Dynamics shed 3.8%; Raytheon dropped 3.6%; Boeing slid 1% #capitalism

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@themalaru

4 years

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@themalaru

6 years

The tankie concept of "Bourgeoisie decedance" and the fascist concept of "degeneracy" are the same thing

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@themalaru

7 months

I reference "it's subtle isn't it" too often

transfeminine frankenstein, m.a.

@draculavoice

7 months

QRT with your favorite oglaf

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@themalaru

6 years

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@themalaru

4 months

Idk. Jocat seems like a nice enough guy. It's refreshing to see a straight guy express his sexuality in a way that lacks the undertone that he would rape or murder you if he thought he could get away with it

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@themalaru

7 years

The great thing abt being an urbanist is you get to use the one not racist ww2 propaganda

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@themalaru

6 years

As you once did for the vacuous Rom, grant us eyes, grant us eyes. Plant eyes on our brains, to cleanse our beastly idiocy.

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@themalaru

6 years

I'm fucking dying us army rations in 2018 contain "patriotic sugar cookies"

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@themalaru

7 months

Tabbing out of the morrowind wiki to send needy messages to older women

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@themalaru

1 year

My gf, letting me rant about my hyperfixation: "and what's that on the barrel?" Me: "that's a muzzle device. This one in particular is the good ole AR15 birdcage flashhider." My gf who heard nothing but muzzle and cage: "I think I huave covid"

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@themalaru

1 year

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm trying to delete it

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@themalaru

6 years

This tweet shows no signs of slowing down or stopping Like a runaway horse on the back of a runaway train

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@themalaru

2 years

@boygrrI you can also tell its racist because of how disgusted he is at the concept of seasoning and spicing your food.

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@themalaru

1 year

OK since this has kind of blown up: this is a real story. I showed up to her house, I got undressed, she asked me when I started taking hrt and I told her I was 19, and she just started crying, because she was 19 in 1997, and it meant so much to her that I got to transition young

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@themalaru

5 years

God tetfs suck at memes. This is the most Boomer shit I've ever seen

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@themalaru

5 months

I don't have a fart fetish stop making judgements on my soul you don't know me

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@themalaru

19 days

@girlbosswoman Vivec is bigender and used ze/hir pronouns.

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@themalaru

6 years

@EranHelbitz @Hbomberguy Thank you for your brave service undercutting my jab at a multimillion dollar company with a long history of staff abuse. You are truly brave.

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@themalaru

2 years

Ey boss, we got this bpd chick to take a bunch of acid and then told her to draw a picture of God, but she keeps drawing this 8ft tall deer lady covered in blood, pretty kooky huh boss

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@themalaru

6 years

Night y'all

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@themalaru

1 year

@girlcel_ I'm old enough to have had this happen to me with skyrim. My brother saw and asked if had anything to tell him and even though I didn't at the time I started panicking because I thought I had done something wrong and was gonna get in trouble

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@themalaru

2 months

if you use this tweet as a call to single out particular trans women you think it's about or just don't like you're missing the point. if you use it to other someone, youre also an asshole. You can see from the responses that this behaviour is endemic and exists on a spectrum

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@themalaru

1 year

@Devon_OnEarth Me rn

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@themalaru

6 years

Star Wars (1977)

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@themalaru

1 year

Unfortunately capitalist neoliberal democracy has invented the means to sustain itself indefinitely which means fukiyama was right it's just yknow, this until the heat death of the universe

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@themalaru

4 years

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@themalaru

4 years

For anyone who doesn’t know who this is for some reason this is YouTube @tomscott

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@themalaru

6 years

"a hidden sea cave only accessible at low tide full of novelty Garfield telephones" sounds like the writing prompt for the most horrifying short story

BBC News (World)

@BBCWorld

6 years

A mystery that's spanned 35 years - finally, we know why Brittany's Iroise coast is littered with Garfield telephones 🤔

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@themalaru

6 years

in march of this year, Britain will no longer be canon after exiting the extended universe

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@themalaru

6 years

this meme is still important btw

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@themalaru

1 year

This is the only photo i have of him for reference

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@themalaru

1 year

Oh, I'm your favourite person? Is that like a best friend or something, oh I'm so glad! I thought you had a crush on me that would have been soooo weird haha, thanks for going to that restaurant with me last night, I wanted to make sure it was good before my date tomorrow :)

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@themalaru

2 months

I don't want to have a conversation about how some random mentally ill trans woman messed up your perception of love, that's not my conversation to have. We as a community need to build better supports and solidarity, we need to look out for eachother. Hurt people hurt people.

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@themalaru

1 year

"Is weird Al a moog" the greatest debate thread in forum history

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@themalaru

6 years

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@themalaru

1 year

my biggest criticism of skyrim is that it's "infinite radiant quests" are dull soulless and drag the game out until you're bored of playing it. rather than having a defined endpoint, you stop playing when you're bored, which means coming away from the game is always negative.

Roberto Nickson

@rpnickson

1 year

The future of AAA open-world games. This is a Skyrim VR mod by YouTuber 'Art from the Machine' which lets you talk to NPCs using ChatGPT. NPCs have their own tailored prompts based on their unique backgrounds which allows ChatGPT to roleplay as that character. There's also a

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@themalaru

6 years

America are you ok

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