glow moss @tolecrien Twitter profile

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 years

if you show a girl a cool enough leaf she will have sex with you

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

i never know what the fuck anyone is talking about

Catherynne M. Valente

@catvalente

3 years

This is why it was a mistake to replace all the old 70s metal playgrounds with safety plastic. Iron. You need iron. Or else.

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 years

dudes will get dumped and start tweeting like Sun Tzu

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

we need to destigmatize wasting your entire life

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

I love my shitty fucked up body that I've been slowly poisoning for a decade

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

I feel like Kamala Harris has ziploc bag full of beautiful rocks in her purse

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glow moss

@tolecrien

5 years

It seems that you've woke daddy, Mr. Bond.

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 months

Getting out of my car and bowing to the guy who lets me merge

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 years

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

New Scientist

@newscientist

3 years

Human brain cells in a dish learn to play Pong faster than an AI

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 years

dudes will read 1 pdf and turn into this guy

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glow moss

@tolecrien

29 days

1 in 100 government issued IDs should be holographic

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

It might help to think of cows as a type of ancient computer

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 months

Coworker was listening to dogs barking on his phone and said "dude this app lets you talk to dogs"

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 years

somebody owes me $20 for making me look at that rupi kaur thing even once

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

smoking bong in the house and blowing it out the mail slot

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

The ideal hobby should destroy your life and the lives of your loved ones

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

adding a bit of tongue action when i kiss my liege's ring

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

mario is such a tremendous athlete

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 years

Blue Alien gf: What is "kush blasting"? I want to learn..

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

F-150 going 110 MPH

Carlos That Notices Things

@QuetzalPhoenix

2 years

How do you even stop this? I mean seriously??

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

i used to hide under the table when Mr Krabs would raise his voice at spongebob

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

*pressing buttons on the computer* Holy shit

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

when the teens on my street catch me doomer walking

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glow moss

@tolecrien

5 years

SLUG HOSPITAL SLUG HOSPITAL SLUG HOSPITAL

Chris Wilson (@[email protected])

@cwilso

5 years

My... My daughters built a slug hospital and found 30+ "patients" who are now escaping and nothing in the parenting books prepared me for this.

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glow moss

@tolecrien

5 days

How it feels to be that sensitive stoner who vibes with everyone

だも

@damoooo9628

10 days

スナメリ？とかいう長い子 #鳥羽水族館

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glow moss

@tolecrien

11 months

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glow moss

@tolecrien

1 year

Opening an incognito window and looking over my shoulder before searching "biggest monkey ever"

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

milkmen would have never been able to get pussy in today's era

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

Me as a top diplomat: OK sounds good

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

Sounds good Sounds good 👍 👍 Will do, thanks Alright Sounds good 👍 Alright

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glow moss

@tolecrien

14 days

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

thinking about becoming one of those guys who is mentally controlled by an enchanted sword

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glow moss

@tolecrien

7 months

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

bed is such a goated location

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

flexing on my son by safely ingesting a 2x4 lego brick

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glow moss

@tolecrien

1 month

Two phrases to keep friendships alive: "what?? I've never heard of that" and "thanks I'll check it out"

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glow moss

@tolecrien

1 year

I think this should cover it. Keep the change my friend

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

waking up early so I can be unemployed for longer

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glow moss

@tolecrien

11 months

My friend posted a picture of themself playing with clay and captioned it "humans have been manipulating the earth for over a millennia 🌎"

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glow moss

@tolecrien

1 year

elf women in your area are wearing chainmail tube tops

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

*grasps you with my talons* *carries you far from anything you've ever known*

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 years

i think Tolkien was making all that shit up

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glow moss

@tolecrien

1 month

in high school my friend would derisively refer to people who stay inside all day as "dwellers"

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

America needs a president that's floating in a tube

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

So You've Decided To Shoot At Your Reflection With A Gun

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glow moss

@tolecrien

1 year

You are invited to the smoke pit, but we do not grant you the rank of big homie.

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

The flag of Irkurtsk goes crazy hard

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glow moss

@tolecrien

5 months

when you're sick you have to smoke drugs and drink alcohol. it's how you heal

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glow moss

@tolecrien

6 months

That clanking noise when you get something good while vacuuming >>>

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

drinking coffee. feet shoulder-width apart, both hands on the cup

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glow moss

@tolecrien

1 year

I feel that a monkey tail could really complete this look

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 months

The worms in my brain are forming a kind of stone age civilization with microplastics

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

landlord came over to rant at us about China for 30 minutes then went outside and started using a leaf blower on some big rocks we have in the backyard

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

@Nobody09049097

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 months

🧵 <- the moron emoji. The please shut the fuck up emoji

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glow moss

@tolecrien

5 months

Shouldermogged

A Complete Unknown News

@acufilmnews

5 months

Timothée Chalamet and Elle Fanning recreating the cover of the album The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan. #acompleteunknown

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 months

@Carzonfye There are no two US cities as different as Moscow and London are lol in the grand scheme of things LA and NYC might as well be the same place

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

I need a guy who says "I shit thee not" to take me under his wing and teach me how to smoke weed

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 months

oh my god my coworker is RAWDOGGING his workday. He's just sitting there working diligently, no music no netflix no treats nothing.

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

me: my dumb ass:: my @high ass: nobody: my ass : me/: myhorny ass:

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

smoking weed out of aluminum foil indicates that you were some kind of artisan in a past life

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

dishes is such an elite chore. foldcels could never

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 years

when i see a guy on here

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glow moss

@tolecrien

7 months

Making posts with your legal name about how Seth Rogen's seed must be preserved >>>>>>>

Tyler Austin Harper

@Tyler_A_Harper

7 months

The default setting is increasingly Peter Pan syndrome. The smallest blow to hedonistic personal autonomy is seen as a literal horror. The result of ubiquitous Peter Pan syndrome is that people who don’t suffer from it turn behaving like an adult into a fetish. Both are annoying.

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

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glow moss

@tolecrien

1 year

Twitter has been so bad lately that I've seriously improved my life, habits, and perspective on living out of sheer boredom

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

aaaaauuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

haven't seen anyone use a huge bone as a club lately

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

imagine browsing the TL on the big screen with your friends and family

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

zen masters can sip on a single beer for over a millennia

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

putting my servant who feeds me grapes back in the fridge with the grapes

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glow moss

@tolecrien

9 months

- Neil Young

Daniel

@somedanielguy

9 months

Fat bastard look at your wrist

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glow moss

@tolecrien

1 year

Had to hit em with the O__o

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

the CIA has a gun that can make you imagine a big set of cans

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 years

the Sun is so dope. we should worship it

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

what u know about this

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

GTA Prince Edward Island

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

so you're telling me you would commit suicide if someone bought you a drink basically

Daniel

@growing_daniel

2 years

Hot girls are living lives that are so good that you’d kill yourself if you fully understood it

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

balloon animals do not impress me. simpleton art form

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

Tried staring at the spot on the wall my coworker usually stares at and he attacked me

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 years

I was like "damn this guy won't shut up" and then realized I was scrolling on their page

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 years

i should be able to buy a boat plane for a couple hundred dollars on craigslist. it'll be a fixer upper yeah but thats fine.

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

taking a demented little stroll

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glow moss

@tolecrien

7 months

Could a palace eunuch and the empress's poison taster fall in love..?

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

Squeezing out the last bit of cum with a rolling pin

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 years

just received word from Bruce Springsteen that we're in love and it's dark out and we're messing around with our friends and something fucked up happened to a guy we know but we're gonna survive or some shit

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glow moss

@tolecrien

1 year

I need like an 8 foot wide print of this

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

French coworker telling me about how he will sometimes watch a youtube

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 years

Holy shit... The captain of the football team just liked my tweet

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

Perhaps your fingers would remember their old strength Théoden... if they jacked your dick?

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glow moss

@tolecrien

2 years

Historians now believe that stonehenge was a type of ancient call center

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

ah yes, 100 pictures of books... this is comedy to me

Sturgeon's Law

@Sturgeons_Law

3 years

The list of /lit/'s top 100 books of all time is pretty amusing.

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

free password: 'beers123'

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 years

how it feels walking around the house after a shower

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 months

Lmao

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glow moss

@tolecrien

3 months

Landlords should have to clean your apartment, help you move, drive your kids to school, cook your food, laugh at all your jokes, give you constructive criticism on your short stories, eat any cockroaches you find, and more all while constantly fearing for their lives

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glow moss

@tolecrien

4 years

Bro I'm straight up pregnant with your child

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