2011
When I was 3, around November 2011, my parents took me to a fair that comes to where I live yearly. At the fair, I had a hot dog that made me throw up and I developed food anxiety.
- if u crave smth sweet after a meal gum really works!! especially if u have a really sweet flavour like bubblegum
- my main reason I binge is cause I crave the feeling of chewing so ofc gum helps this
I stayed in hospital for around a month, I don’t remember much except that I was threatened with feeding tubes a lot and was basically scared into eating
high res (by that I mean under 400) often causes binges so it’s better to do mid-low res because slow and steady is better than no weight loss or even weight gain
The earliest memory of me saying I was ‘dieting’ was when I was 5 years old. I didn’t really restrict, I just got my usual school lunch with way too much salad from the salad bar
Most of my memories from age 3 onwards are food related and disordered. I used to constantly tell my friends I was on a diet, and I was obsessed with my mum’s yo-yo dieting
After maybe two months of this my mum commented that I’d gotten very thin and embarrassed I lied and told her school lunches were tiny. She put me back onto pack lunches and although I was still obsessed with dieting it mainly stopped
It was harmless at first and I was just making healthier choices, for example changing my usual lunch of pasta and a muffin to a salad and a fat free yoghurt
Recovery is impossible for me as I’ve never lived without an ed, I can’t remeber not having one, but I hope this can somehow motivate others to recover before it’s too late
Nov 2020 i went to an ed clinic three times. They diagnosed me again with ana but said i wasnt sick enough to need them even as an outpatient so gave me a meal plan and discharged me
for example a few weeks ago the scale hadn’t moved but I’d lost two inches off of my waist and this is because I’d lost fat but gained muscle. also protein helps prevent plateaus and also binges as it makes u super full!!
increasing water intake to 2.5- 3litres a day has been so beneficial for me!! I can’t remeber why but it speeds up weight loss processes and also most of the time you have a urge to binge ur most likely just thirsty.
instead of eating it normally- get a plate, cut up the apple, arrange it neatly and then eat it. Imagine how many more calories preparing it burns compared to just eating it straight away!!
It takes 20 minutes for ur brain to realise that ur full, so try eat as slowly as possible.hunger pangs don’t last any longer than 20 mins so set a timer for 20 mins and say to urself that u can eat after that, and by then youll probably not want to eat anymore!
Recently I was told by a doctor that if I don’t begin eating normally I’ll be dead by 20 because of heart failure. And is this enough to recover?? No!! It makes me want to get worse
This is also how I avoid binges, I force myself to take time to prepare it and by the time it’s all set up I sometimes don’t even feel the craving anymore.’
Tw for mentions of attempted self unalive ⚠️⚠️
In feb 2024 I attempted to 0d (which ofc failed) but while in hospital I was weighed and discovered I was 51kg. I wanted to die even more aghdhd
From Nov 2020-July 2021 i was semi recovered. I still had a very disordered mindset, tracked cals and skipped lunch when at school, but lockdown meant i lost control of what i ate and gained until I was 110lbs again in july
I’ve always over exercised but after discovering this I developed an exercise add1ction which has literally taken over my life now. I spend every waking minute pacing or dancing and it will never be enough. I’m in constant pain but I still will never feel like I’ve burnt enough
I haven’t attempted recovery since July 2021 however there’s been times when I’ve ate at maintenance either because my family has forced me to, to prevent suspicion or because I have no self control
(This is from tumblr) ‘Plate up all your food, even snacks! Again something I said last time, but this time it’s for a different reason! Let’s say you’re getting an apple…
They prevent binge urges (what are you gonna crave if ur body has all the nutrients it needs?) but also for ur health too (as ppl who follow me will know I’m currently struggling wiv heart problems because my body literally can’t absorb iron anymore because of my ed)
If you don’t like actually working out, pacing is so good!! I always tell myself ‘what’s the point in sitting when o could do whatever I’m doing rn but while burning cals?’ Putting on a show or movie makes it sm fun and sm time can pass so quickly!!
and it’s great for muscle repair if ur like me and workout a lot, as it prevents doms. I used to suffer rlly bad from doms but since increasing my protein intake I can do more intense workouts without any pain