Tom Hamilton @thhamilton Twitter profile

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Tom Hamilton

28 days

I wrote about Keir Starmer and whether Labour’s imminent victory is anything to do with him.

Keir: more than just a lucky general | Tom Hamilton | The Critic Magazine

Neither Left nor Right can accept that Starmer’s impressive focus and strategic sense is responsible for transforming Labour’s prospects…

thecritic.co.uk

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Last Seen Profiles

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

5 months

Awful, she should have had surgery in hospital with a doctor.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 years

How have the police managed to get themselves into a situation where their line is: if a police officer tries to arrest you, run away?

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 years

"No, darling, I'm afraid we didn't keep any of the newspapers from the day you were born."

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

7 years

So kids, I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is: Santa Claus is real.

Newsweek

@Newsweek

7 years

Santa Claus's tomb may have been discovered beneath an ancient church in Turkey

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

8 months

Looking at old newspaper front pages for a thing and this one deserves a special prize

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 months

Does… does this man know how old 18-year-olds are and how old they were four years ago?

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

17 days

The answer to this one is: if you can “barely afford” your son’s school fees under Labour then you clearly can’t afford two children’s school fees regardless of who the government is and this isn’t Labour’s fault.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

I’m not sure how politically sustainable it is for a member of the Chancellor’s family to live in the Downing Street flat but to say she doesn’t for tax reasons.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

4 months

There is no interview question deadlier than “why is that funny?”

Scott Bryan

@scottygb

4 months

BBC Radio Tees: “When is the general election?” Rishi Sunak *starts laughing* BBC Radio Tees: “why are you laughing?”

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 years

Tell me you have servants without telling me you have servants

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

10 months

Next year's 14-year-olds will have spent their whole lives under a Tory government. Nobody needs a fag more than they do.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

I’m not sure why it’s so hard for very clever people to understand that if you pass a law banning people from doing quite trivial things, then if you do those trivial things yourself it isn’t trivial, it’s genuinely scandalous.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

4 years

Apparently The Sun's photo caption writer has never used the tube.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

11 months

This is an all-time hall of fame infographic

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

4 years

I think we’ve been well aware of that for a few days now, no?

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

5 years

EU: asks for fork UK: presents spoon EU: this isn't what we asked for UK: bends spoon EU: this is still a spoon UK: but we've shown flexibility

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 months

If you’re an 18-year-old looking for weekend voluntary work over the next six weeks can I suggest canvassing for the Labour Party?

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

1 year

……………….ok?

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 months

Not sure that’s how egg-freezing works

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

4 months

Absolutely love that the conceit here is that members of the public didn't know they were going to be talking to the PM and are being taken by surprise, and then Rishi Sunak's first words are "Ronnie, hello again".

UK Prime Minister

@10DowningStreet

4 months

They were not expecting this...

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 months

There could have been a British prime minister and his wife in this photo.

President Biden

@POTUS

2 months

D-Day was a powerful illustration of how alliances make us stronger in the defense of freedom. This lesson has never resonated more.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

Oh thanks I hadn’t thought of wearing a jumper normally in the winter I just go round in fucking swimming trunks

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 months

What a sentence.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

6 years

Congratulations, you’ve invented Durham University.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 years

I can relate to this as I also cover the cost of any food and drink for personal consumption, even if it comes from my own kitchen.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

The funniest thing now would be for Rishi Sunak to resign as a matter of personal honour over the fine, and then just wait and see what Boris Johnson does.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

10 months

Rishi Sunak just said that Labour's last three leaders all lived in the same square mile in North London. It gets worse: the Tories' last five leaders all lived in the same house.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

6 months

My wife, showing a childhood photo of herself riding a horse: “This is me when I was little.” The five-year-old, genuinely shocked: “You were a *horse*?”

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

6 years

Say what you like about Mussolini. That's one of the benefits of not living under Mussolini.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 months

The good thing about Susan Hall making the mayoral election a referendum on ULEZ expansion is that we now have the result of the referendum on ULEZ expansion.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

This was my favourite bit of the whole round: Liz Truss refuses to guarantee that people’s pensions are safe.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

It’s a long setup, but the punchline is worth it.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

4 years

This shows just how far the country has shifted to the right.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

1 month

Woman who has job does her job while husband does different job that’s not her job shock

Guido Fawkes

@GuidoFawkes

1 month

Starmer Addresses Absent Wife

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 years

Tory MP at PMQs: “I recently visited my local jobcentre”. This is sensible forward planning and I commend her for it.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

5 years

Genuinely awestruck by the optics of a Prime Minister standing in front of a backdrop of police officers to say he’d rather be dead in a ditch than obey the law.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

7 years

This suggests a level of political stability and control over long-term infrastructure policy which I would not have expected of pirates.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

4 years

Really unfair of Sir Philip Rutnam to criticise Priti Patel publicly when she’s not in a position to defend herself because of the government’s BBC boycott.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

1 year

Somehow the Telegraph has managed to illustrate a real issue with the least relatable case study imaginable, in every possible way.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

5 years

Imagine criticising a politician for eating a sandwich.

Charlotte Gill

@CharlotteCGill

5 years

The hounding of Boris Johnson is ugly, ugly stuff. He could eat a sandwich and Remainers would probably find a picture of Mussolini eating a sandwich to make a comparison. Many voters can see through this slippery behaviour and will vote for him as payback come election

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

7 years

Lots of women: “I was sexually assaulted.” Giles Coren and Rod Liddle: “Does this mean I can’t put kisses at the bottom of emails?”

The Spectator

@spectator

7 years

What if the recipients of my emails actually think that I want to kiss them, says Rod Liddle

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 months

"I'll break your legs"

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 years

Between them these two books cover everything to look for in the entire universe.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

- I'm confident I didn't break the law. - Yes you did! - Honestly, I'm sure I didn't. - If you did, then you'll have to resign. - Yes, you're right, I will. - This is outrageous, disgusting, despicable pressure on the police!

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

5 years

Woohoo Brexit looks great

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

1 year

I am not convinced that “political parties are liable for costs incurred by independent organisations that their donors have also donated to” is a line the Tories want to go down.

Rt Hon Grant Shapps

@grantshapps

1 year

I’ve written to @Keir_Starmer to request he pays for the criminal damage the Just Stop Oil attacks on the Energy Security Department caused this morning As the political wing of Just Stop Oil, it is the Labour Party not the taxpayer that should be paying the bill

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 years

I kind of feel like, if the justification for tuition fees is that graduates will earn substantially higher salaries than average, part of the deal is that they shouldn’t have to pay them back until they’re earning substantially higher salaries than average.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

An all-time classic of bad photo-opp planning, here

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 months

No need to bring his height into this

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

7 years

1939-45

Duncan Weldon

@DuncanWeldon

7 years

WW2 in Colour is on Netflix. When did this happen?

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

7 years

Are we... are we the baddies?

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 years

Male Tory MPs taking off more clothes than is strictly necessary to be photographed getting a vaccination: an occasional series

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

5 years

This is why nobody ever gets shot in America.

David Wohl

@DavidWohl

5 years

Takeaway from #LondonBridge incident: If law-abiding Londoners could carry firearms legally, it probably wouldn't have happened. Amazing how bold the terrorists are when they know their victims will be unarmed.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

5 years

I’ve added all of these up to see how much Corbyn’s plans could cost me, and it comes to *checks figures again* zero pounds.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

I’ve seen the Joe Lycett bit on the Kuenssberg show and I - quite genuinely - don’t understand what he’s supposed to have done wrong, or what they expected him to do, or why it was damaging for the programme. It was fine.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

I have a theory

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

I’m not sure there’s a more unedifying strike-related phenomenon than people who are paid more than train drivers arguing that train drivers are overpaid on the grounds that other people with useful jobs are paid less.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

So Charles transferred Cornwall, the westernmost Duchy, to William… I guess you could say he… passed the Duchy on the left-hand side.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

1 year

I've thought of a way they could afford much nicer holidays.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

9 years

Huge if true http://t.co/3ONjePepOb

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

You don’t need to know anything about cricket, or care about it, to understand that this is a completely ridiculous thing to be able to do.

BBC Breaking News

@BBCBreaking

2 years

Legendary Australian leg-spinner Shane Warne, one of the greatest cricketers of all time, dies of suspected heart attack aged 52

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 years

People laugh at the idea of a tunnel between Great Britain and Northern Ireland, but it could be a decisive factor in preserving the union between GB and NI, just as the channel tunnel was for the UK and EU.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

24 days

I have to say, I can't get even a tiny bit upset about the idea of someone protecting personal family time at 6pm on a Friday evening. Especially if they're reachable in an emergency, which they will be.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

7 years

Really pleased to hear PM's repeated emphasis that we won't be leaving Europe *geographically*, because that would be terrifying and weird.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

9 months

Three days. Don’t mess with Adrian Chiles.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

Wonder if there are any foreseeable policy consequences of charging £50 for a GP appointment while keeping A&E free.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

4 years

Holy SHIT, McDonald’s.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 years

Wow she got over it quickly

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

6 years

One more chance to read my favourite Amber Rudd quote, on why she wanted to stand in Hastings:

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

I see your “Ukraine should simply surrender because war is bad” and I raise you “Russia should simply stop invading because war is bad”. Oh, apparently *my* position is unrealistic.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 months

If you're wondering about the basic plausibility of this claim, it works out at a little over £1 million per civil servant.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

Now release your texts from Boris Johnson, in the spirit of transparency.

Evgeny Lebedev

@mrevgenylebedev

2 years

And in the spirit of transparency here is a text to me from @Keir_Starmer : ‘Congratulations on your elevation to the House of Lords. All best wishes, Keir.’

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

10 months

I mean it’s *possible* that Russell Brand has shifted towards far right conspiracism just so that he can say it’s all a conspiracy when all this stuff comes out, but the simpler hypothesis, which fits the available evidence, is that he is and always has been a loathsome idiot.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

As a tribute to Keir Starmer, I am eating a curry entirely legally.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

8 months

Absolutely love the idea of exempting cigars from the rising-age tobacco sales ban so that they’re the only thing teenagers are allowed to smoke.

Harry Cole

@MrHarryCole

8 months

EXC: Pressure on Sunak to exempt cigars from smoking ban — with a dozen Tory MPs threatening to rebel over carve out for Cubans.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

27 days

The Tory campaign is now fully-focused on the over-85s

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

7 years

This is - and I promise you I am not joking - one of the 10 points in Boris Johnson's 10-point plan for a successful Brexit.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

22 days

The Telegraph are hugely understating their case here - millions of families are priced out of private school.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

5 years

These people stole my sister’s iPad and took this photo which they accidentally uploaded to the cloud. Please RT so we can find them.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

13 days

Found a letter from the Tories

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

1 year

My god

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

4 years

THREAD: The tendency to cover PMQs as a straight who won/who lost contest is understandable, but it can understate its strategic value. Keir Starmer has done a decent job on the win/loss front in his first weeks, but he’s also been able to *use* PMQs effectively.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

1 year

Honestly if you can’t tell the difference between someone being voted in for a time-limited term by a local electorate who could have chosen someone else and someone being appointed for life without voters being consulted at any stage I don’t know how to help you.

Marco Longhi

@marcolonghi4dn

1 year

Your party just elected a 25 year old in Selby. Even younger than Owen and Kempsell. Anything to say about that? Is he not a law-maker too?

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

8 years

Obamas in Havana are coming down the stairs. Obamas in Havana are coming down in pairs.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

4 years

The Tory whips’ desire to open up Parliament so that Boris Johnson has his MPs behind him at PMQs will be understandable to Keir Starmer, who once bought a field just so that someone he loved could be comforted by the sound of braying donkeys.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

6 years

Danny Murphy just described Panama’s last couple of minutes as “their best passage”, which is harsh on the canal.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

6 years

Mess with French interests overseas and their navy will bring you a whole world of pain.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

4 years

Maybe it’s because we’d already left the EU by then, just a thought.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 years

NO NOT THAT KIND OF FREE SPEECH AT UNIVERSITIES

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

5 years

You’d have thought that before Rebecca Long Bailey decided to employ a Stalinist she’d have noticed the red flags.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

4 years

Gavin Williamson’s media round this morning

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

5 years

URGENT CORRECTION

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

7 years

How on earth could a journalist have found this out, though? Who could possibly have revealed these private messages? It's a mystery!

Matt Chorley

@MattChorley

7 years

Boris Johnson is getting "tonnes" of MPs calling and texting saying if it all falls apart he is the only choice. He is biting his tongue

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 months

Jeremy Corbyn was criticised for not bowing deeply enough, for wearing the wrong coat and for having a poppy that was too small at the Cenotaph on Remembrance Sunday, but in his defence he did at least turn up.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

2 years

Yes we have to take them too, they have the right to live in the UK.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

3 years

That is… the legal status quo and has been for my whole lifetime.

Guido Fawkes

@GuidoFawkes

3 years

Starmer wants you to have ID to go into a nightclub, but not to vote.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

6 years

Brexit, summarised.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

7 months

According to Andrea Leadsom, when you’re born your teeth are already 18 months old. Which means that you have teeth nine months before you’re conceived.

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Tom Hamilton

@thhamilton

9 months

This is not how chess works.

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