👻 Scare-ielle 🎃 @thewordunheard Twitter profile

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

10 months

PS I’m over on Substack now, making my little jokes about how hard it is to be alive

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

2 years

To those of you who had not known about this before now: a fig is not a fruit, it is an inverted flower, and to be pollinated it has to attract a fig wasp who crawls inside and then has its body dissolved and absorbed by the flower. When you eat one you're eating pureed wasp

👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

2 years

How many times a week do you think about the fact that figs aren't vegan

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@thewordunheard

7 years

Casual reminder that Beyoncé's entire marketing team is better at managing security/leaks than our current White House administration.

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@thewordunheard

6 years

The fact is, I'm white, cis, educated, middle class; no matter how bad it gets I'm probably going to be mostly OK. The other fact is, that's not true for the majority of the people in this country. We need to fight for those who have less to spare and more to lose.

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@thewordunheard

2 months

Co-sign. Everyone loves to say “it takes a village” but no one understands that I want to be the village.

Headless Horsewoman

@kayteterry

2 months

I have never in my life wanted kids. It just never entered my mind but I love children and like to have them around. It’s wild that we live in a society where this is considered selfish rather than helpful to people who do want kids!

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

4 years

In honor of Jessica Walters, today I am going to be unimpeachably funny and also a total smokeshow

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

8 years

I've said it before: I grew up in Atlantic City. My parents, my friends' parents, my neighbors, they all worked in Atlantic City.

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

4 years

Bless the Philly journalist who just asked the police chief, "if the purpose of using tear gas was to get the protestors off the highway, why deploy it when they were trapped against a wall?"

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

8 years

Take a moment to consider how much money you'd be able to amass if you just didn't pay your bills and then got people to forgive you for it.

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@thewordunheard

4 years

@Austin_Police I am cheering for you. I am. Me, your old pal "Family & Friends"

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

5 years

My partner just asked "was Boyz II Men really composed of two boys and two adult men?" and when I looked at him in shock and horror he said "oh, someone told me that on the school bus and I believed it until, I guess, right now"

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

4 years

@SocalReporter @ddknyt My parents raised me to know that prioritizing "politeness" is a tactic that people use to appear genteel while masking their abject failure to do anything to address the oppressive status quo, especially when they stand to benefit from the current paradigm of inequity, but

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

4 years

@wownicebuttdude This is unhinged

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

8 years

But also consider what it's like to be the small business owner who takes on a huge, glittery contract and then NEVER 👏🏽 GETS 👏🏾 PAID. 👏🏿

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

8 years

He's an ego. He's a character. He's a joke. But that joke has human cost. It's financially and culturally destroyed the town I grew up in.

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

8 years

It's insulting. It's gaslighting. To watch a man destroy you, and to hear him tell other people how good and powerful it makes him.

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

8 years

These stakes are personal to me. Trust me: I have seen firsthand the damage he can do in a home community. A nation would be catastrophe.

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@thewordunheard

4 years

A whole cottage industry of middle-class white women obsessed with murder and the one thing they're not focusing on is the organized force of people who are roving their towns, out to kill people *in uniform.*

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

2 years

nature is metal \m/

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

2 years

How many times a week do you think about the fact that figs aren't vegan

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

8 years

Trump orchestrated his own mini version of the housing bubble in my hometown. He came in. He prospected. We're left dragging his failures.

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

8 years

Please don't believe it. Please stand on the side of the worker. Please help defeat him.

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@thewordunheard

8 years

As a matter of course, he hired small local businesses as contractors, did not pay them, and then filed bankruptcy.

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

8 years

Donald Trump's systematic monopolization of trade, mismanagement of funds, and destruction of community there is personal to me.

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

8 years

The people in my mother's labor union have lost their retirement funds because he built a business based on gold leaf and marquee lighting.

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

8 years

You're promised prosperity. You're sucked in w/ catchphrases and dreams. You lay out your own capital & labor & you're left w/ empty hands.

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@thewordunheard

8 years

And we get to hear him brag about how it means he's a great businessman.

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

2 years

For reference:

Love the Fig

Although many people dismiss it as a geriatric delicacy, it is a biological and evolutionary wonder.

www.newyorker.com

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@thewordunheard

4 years

A woman imprisoned in a relationship with a man who throws tantrums and expects her to fix him is, indeed, a tale as old as time

Luke Mones

@LukeMones

4 years

how is beauty and the beast a “tale as old as time”? a lady hooks up with a big dog, and all the candles in the house start talking? I hope that hasn’t happened before

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@thewordunheard

8 years

To see them believing it.

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@thewordunheard

4 years

@Oroboros88 @fleshfondue Rape is not a side effect of PTSD.

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

11 months

My mom, quietly to herself, having an existential crisis watching commercials about the Google Pixel Magic Editor: “It’s like the whole world doesn’t matter anymore”

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@thewordunheard

8 years

I think I figured it out

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

5 years

Shoutout to my partner, who interrupted the chase scene in John Wick 3—in which six motorcycle-riding assassins wielding katanas are trying to kill the hero—by waiting for a quiet moment in the theater and stage-whispering, "THAT'S SO UNSAFE."

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

3 years

Fun fact: I have never once been able to watch the Jennifer Coolidge “hi” video without losing my shit laughing

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

4 years

If you ever feel like you're not wanted or valued, can I recommend: trying to use the bathroom while your cat is on the other side of the shut door

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

1 year

PHILLY: I have a lead on truly one of the most beautiful houses I’ve ever seen in person, now available for rent in the BEST part of West for an absolutely wild price given the space and beauty. 3bd/2ba, $2500, pets with deposit. DM me for the listing!

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

2 years

Happy Halloween from Merlin Monroe

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

3 years

@GummiPie "she is diversity" makes me think you won some kind of diversity pageant. She's beauty, she's grace, she's diversity 🥴

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@thewordunheard

4 years

@wownicebuttdude The smug leaning back while eating... rice cakes with whipped cream (??)... and shooting a knowing look at the camera??? bitch don’t shoot me a knowing look, I don’t know

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👻 Scare-ielle 🎃

@thewordunheard

7 years

@toomuchnick My parents raised me Quaker. I wasn't allowed to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles because they fought too much. I had to tiptoe out of my bedroom to watch The Simpsons over their shoulder from behind the couch, because of the Itchy-and-Scratchy-style violence.

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@thewordunheard

6 years

Ok but hear me out: Tracee Ellis Ross

Shadow and Act

@shadowandact

6 years

. @DonaldGlover reportedly on shortlist to star as Willy Wonka in new film for Warner Bros.

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@thewordunheard

4 years

@KekWillsIt2 @jwehrens Yes, much less wussy than creating a fake Twitter account specifically to harass one particular journalist. Reported, my dude!

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@thewordunheard

5 years

Lizzo's "Boys" as opossums, a thread

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@thewordunheard

4 years

@CarolineMoss This is my favorite reaction

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@thewordunheard

6 years

@Kristen_Arnett My partner is a master of S L O W I N G D O W N in a crosswalk and making eye contact with the driver if they start acting huffy about having to wait

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@thewordunheard

5 years

Frankly it is a bummer that Florence Pugh was nominated for Little Women, in which she was wonderful, but not Midsommar, in which her performance was so arresting and brittle and raw that I stopped breathing a few times.

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@thewordunheard

4 years

@Me_Tequilas @allykerans @MarTG993 @MayorOfLA @GavinNewsom @KTLAnewsdesk Please explain what you would be looking for in any preceding footage that would make you conclude, "yes, it's absolutely justified that several cops would beat a disabled man and break his wheelchair."

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@thewordunheard

2 years

True story: We at @abortionfundpa have been anticipating this for years, and upped our direct service budget this year not only for the need from our own folks, but anticipating need from people who will have to travel to get here. Please support your local abortion fund.

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@thewordunheard

4 years

@THEHermanCain He died HOURS after you published this.

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@thewordunheard

8 months

I quote this all the time and everyone thinks I am simply being crass

ᴍx. ɢᴀʀʏ 🇵🇸

@thegaryfuqua

9 months

what’s your favorite obscure Drag Race moment?

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@thewordunheard

4 years

@HardToSwalla @PFTompkins That sounds like a good idea, thanks for the input

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@thewordunheard

6 years

Response to this tweet is overwhelming, so while I have you: it is more important than ever to support your local abortion fund. Mine is @womensmedfund . You can find yours here:

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@thewordunheard

5 months

Imagine not living in Philadelphia. Sad

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@thewordunheard

7 years

@lrush16 Also, Beyoncé herself isn't the one leaking shit.

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@thewordunheard

6 months

Gonna miss this little man with my whole entire heart for the rest of my life

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@thewordunheard

5 years

@anne_theriault "All stories are about wolves. All worth repeating, that is." —Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

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@thewordunheard

4 years

@wownicebuttdude WHY IS THE SUGAR IN WHIPPED CREAM OK IF THE SUGAR IN JELLO IS NOT

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@thewordunheard

1 year

[in my most somber and respectful Borat voice]

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@thewordunheard

4 years

Every few months I remember that they briefly had a restaurant on my college campus called CEREALITY which had giant bulk-bin sized dispenser tubes of generic breakfast cereal lining the walls, where they'd charge you $5 for *a bowl of cereal,* and I radiate with fury for 20min

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@thewordunheard

5 years

@KrangTNelson Clone High did!

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@thewordunheard

5 years

@redditships "secretly"

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@thewordunheard

3 months

Don’t do my girl the moon like that

Carey O'Donnell

@ecareyo

3 months

Exile JK Rowling to the moon

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@thewordunheard

1 year

@jamieloftusHELP You’ve had charcuterie. Now try charcookie

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@thewordunheard

4 years

Shoutout to my best sit-around-in-my-house-on-Halloween-of-an-election-year costume of the past

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@thewordunheard

5 years

@redditships "So you see, I did a bad thing, but the grey area is that I really wanted to"

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@thewordunheard

4 years

Hi! I’m on the board of my local abortion fund and I’ve never had an abortion.

Paul Joseph Watson

@PrisonPlanet

4 years

I've never met a girl who supports abortion who hasn't had an abortion. Big cope.

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@thewordunheard

4 years

. @PhillyMayor , how dare you propose a $10M cut to our libraries & lay off 200+ employees, diminishing a system that provides essential services to our city's most vulnerable residents—then use the buildings to shelter soldiers here to terrorize us for speaking out. How DARE you.

Alison Macrina

@flexlibris

4 years

librarians in Philadelphia are furious that the city is harboring the National Guard in one of our free libraries!!! sign this petition and demand their removal

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@thewordunheard

4 years

Wow how did @hels find out about what my relationship looks like

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@thewordunheard

6 years

I dashed this off yesterday and I was wrong to imply that people of privilege should be fighting "for" those who don't have the same ones. Only trying to say that if we have privilege, we should either give it up or put it to good use in a collective fight as accomplices.

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@thewordunheard

4 years

I feel like the experience of being a girl who dated older guys too early in life is just a series of realizations that your boyfriends' "crazy exes" were actually way cooler than your boyfriends ever were, and wishing you could have been friends with them instead

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@thewordunheard

6 years

@j_zimms @emilynussbaum HAHAHAHAHAHA I am extremely hung up on "her bed is BIG and COMFORTABLE and she just... SLEEPS IN IT"

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@thewordunheard

4 years

10 months into quarantine, something I still find charming is Boomer coworkers with EXTRAORDINARILY distinctive voices starting to speak on conference calls then hesitating and saying "...this is Phil" as if all 40 people on the other call don't automatically know

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@thewordunheard

8 years

This is very something.

Donald Trump Quote or Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap Quote?

"Bing bing, bong bong, bing bing bing."

www.autostraddle.com

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@thewordunheard

4 years

What is everyone planning on for your Vaxxday (the two-week point after your second shot)?

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@thewordunheard

8 years

In case you're still doubtful that Trump steamrolled merchants and small business owners:

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@thewordunheard

8 years

Roses are red Violets are blue Steve Bannon is a literal white nationalist What hellscape are we living in Like, srsly, guys, wtf

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@thewordunheard

4 years

🗣 THIS 🗣 IS 🗣 WHAT 🗣 TAXES 🗣 OUGHT 🗣 TO 🗣 BE 🗣 USED 🗣 FOR ‼️‼️

ABC News

@ABC

4 years

French government to continue paying up to 84% of salaries for furloughed workers "until next summer" due to prolonged economic fallout from the coronavirus pandemic.

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@thewordunheard

7 years

MY HOBBIES INCLUDE: shoulder-checking men on the sidewalk who assume I'm gonna step aside for them.

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@thewordunheard

8 years

Hillary is slow-blinking in the same way cats do to communicate "you're not a threat to me."

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@thewordunheard

2 years

Maybe nothing in my life has been more satisfying than sitting in a Lyft with my two closest Eldest Daughter friends explaining Eldest Daughter Syndrome to our driver and having him say “OH MY GOD MY OLDEST DAUGHTER DOES THAT”

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@thewordunheard

5 years

"In retrospect, I remember seeing a poster of Boyz II Men and thinking, 'huh, which ones are the boys and which ones are the men? They all look older than me, so''"

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@thewordunheard

2 years

@WhackNicholson you must have known you were wrongKK

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@thewordunheard

3 years

If you have never visited Nicolas Cage’s son’s Instagram, I can promise you there are fewer more chaotic and absurdist places on the internet

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@thewordunheard

6 years

@3liza BUT JUST ONE BIG WIDE NECK

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@thewordunheard

7 years

They're incapable of taking off a pullover sweater without also pulling up the button-down or t-shirt underneath, exposing their bare torsos

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@thewordunheard

4 years

Hello, today I found a goopy sick little kitten in the alley behind my house and we have been bottle feeding her and now I am waiting at the vet hospital and she snuggly

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@thewordunheard

4 years

Scene: I, mid-30s, am making myself gochujang tofu at 10pm and listening to @yourewrongabout . @remember_sarah : It is so stupid [that they promise a drop of blood in the Lil Nas X sneakers], but you know who it sounds really cool to...?— Me: ME! Sarah: —10th graders. Me: oh.

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@thewordunheard

8 years

Trump: "she doesn't have stamina." Also Trump: "she doesn't give up."

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@thewordunheard

5 years

You, watching Me, rewatching Little Women Little Women

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@thewordunheard

7 years

@j_zimms @alanna @ElectricLit I knit my own wolf suit so I could be Max from Where the Wild Things Are for Halloween one year.

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@thewordunheard

8 years

Thank you so very very much, @oureric , for directing me to the latest Maxine Waters video, and to the glory that is this eye roll

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@thewordunheard

7 years

"Bitch, that was four years ago. You learn a lot in four years; ask a fucking four-year-old." — @bigandmilky , on ppl who critique Season 6

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@thewordunheard

8 years

Woman at this café counter announces, "I'm not getting any. I make my own coffee for 5¢." OK, but being in the space is obvi valuable to you

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@thewordunheard

5 years

@RaxKingIsDead Ahh yes, that classically toxic trait of "having feelings" and "not using your bisexuality as a platform to aid me in preying on other women"

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@thewordunheard

5 years

@contentcatnip @Wherethestarsf1 @LucyZee_ @savernmiere Also, look up the statistics on how many police interventions do any good in domestic abuse/violence situations, and how much they can actually make them worse.

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@thewordunheard

4 years

The art // the artist

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@thewordunheard

5 years

@jeffday @lachancenaomi "The headdresses wealthy white women wear to Coachella have nothing to do with the Lakota, it's literally feathers on a headband"

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@thewordunheard

4 years

Just disrupted the work call because someone referenced bystander apathy & another person said "like that lady, I forget her name, who was stabbed like 100x & no one called for help," & *I*, having listened to the @yourewrongabout episode like 4x, jumped in to say "actually..."

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@thewordunheard

4 years

Great text-banking experience today: guy tried to troll me by only talking abt his new game (Watch Dogs)—so I asked him about it. And abt himself. By the end we'd talked thru his election misgivings & made a plan; he said "stay safe, fam, don't want anything to happen to you" 🥺

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@thewordunheard

3 years

@IsabelOakeshott

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