House_Wife_Material @thepplsbottom Twitter profile

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

5 years

My therapist: you are worthy of love Me: yeah but am I hot 🥺

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@thepplsbottom

3 years

Sure sex is great but have you ever left your restaurant job

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@thepplsbottom

6 years

Gay girls aren’t interested in ruby rose the way str8 girls are bc we all know she’s the dyke version of a fuckboy

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@thepplsbottom

3 years

I pass now

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@thepplsbottom

1 year

Mike judge accidentally(?) saying interestingly funny things about gender: hank gets an id that lists his gender as female and struggles to get it changed back

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@thepplsbottom

2 years

“Men breaking gender norms” is code for the most busted cross dressing you’ve ever seen

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@thepplsbottom

2 years

Just witnessed a woman in soho putting up do not date this man posters

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@thepplsbottom

3 years

Thinking about how ripped open ppls minds were the first time darude’s sandstorm dropped at a club

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@thepplsbottom

2 years

“Omg I would die for her” okay well I’m gonna hand peel a lemon then delicately carve the pith away so there’s no bitterness to her lemon ricotta pancakes

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@thepplsbottom

3 years

The one thing all genders have in common: at least one hole you can fit a finger in

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@thepplsbottom

3 years

Rly any cafe can be a queer cafe if you get fingered in the bathroom

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@thepplsbottom

4 years

Every hurricane season I think about how much the oil industry has doomed Louisiana to these situations, how much the state allowed the destruction of marshland and old growth basins that served as wind and flood buffers for centuries

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@thepplsbottom

8 months

its so fucked that nerds spend their time working on AI instead of something actually beneficial like a healthy cigarette

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@thepplsbottom

6 years

Did one of u bitches hex me or something

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@thepplsbottom

2 years

It’s extremely telling what the temp on transsexuals in the us are when the story in a major news outlet is about the danger of trans athletes when a cis athlete was just acquitted of the murder of a trans person

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

5 years

America’s next topped bottom

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@thepplsbottom

5 years

I often ask myself: am I hot enough to talk this much

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@thepplsbottom

4 years

Ppl saying this summer wont be obscenely horny bc we're all traumatized as though my horniness doesnt directly stem from my trauma lmao

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@thepplsbottom

3 years

Still reeling thinking about the line from that burnout article “I realized if I died tomorrow my job would be posted before my obituary”

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

2 months

Taking a wood working class and it’s crazy how much my depression just vacated my body the second they let me use power tools

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@thepplsbottom

3 years

It’s wild to me that cis ppl are allowed to charge trans ppl for therapy like I’m constantly giving you a syllabus to understand me

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

2 years

Being a dyke bread baker just makes sense

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

5 years

I am a strong independent woman and I can hurt my own feelings

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@thepplsbottom

1 year

@alphatransfag I was just saying I got fired for doing the HARD CLOSE

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@thepplsbottom

2 years

Like I’m not crossing a picket line but also what support do we owe an ostensibly Anti trans organization 🥴

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

2 years

Everyone’s screaming about how every job is evil and it’s like bro I just make bread

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

5 years

Why would you type out ‘ethically non monogamous’ when the word corny is right there

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

4 years

Whenever im the only masc in a huge group of femmes I feel like a rly handsome dog just sitting there observing waiting for someone to give me a command

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

4 years

One thing that quar has taught me is that a lot of ppls whole personality is going to restaurants

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

2 years

Living with my gf is great every day she suggests we do or eat something that’s good for me and I throw a short fit then acquiesce and feel better

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

2 years

The greatest lie heterosexuality ever told is you shouldn’t fuck your friends

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

1 year

@lilgrapefruits the way my pineal gland decalcified

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

2 years

Thinking about my college bestie who was the greatest concentration of dudes rock energy I’ve ever met: he has a sonic tattoo on his stomach, rolled cigs w one hand while driving his giant truck ‘buck’ , had a chipped tooth from studying kung fu, and 2 cats Mac and cheese

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@thepplsbottom

5 years

Carol the older butch on my block is my goddamn role model, she’s out here always pandemic or no, checking on people offering to help with repairs to their homes or chilling with them in the street throwing back a Miller lite in an oversized grey sweater that says ‘aquarius’

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@thepplsbottom

4 years

Forgot how paper thin my walls were until my roommate asked me if I wouldn’t vacuum (hitachi) so early in the morning anymore

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@thepplsbottom

3 years

Y’all kept screaming about representation and now we have these cursed couches

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@thepplsbottom

5 years

Trying to convince my coworkers to do a sexy bread bakers calendar

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@thepplsbottom

2 months

Every day I wake up with the belief that there is an amount of water I can drink that will make me normal

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@thepplsbottom

4 years

What being a dyke means to me: the first people to text me happy birthday are my exes

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@thepplsbottom

4 years

A word like schaudenfreude but for the satisfaction of finding out a person who wronged you is universally despised

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@thepplsbottom

3 years

Went to a dyke bar on a Friday for the first time in forever that was full of the youth and is it normal that like everyone just doesn’t touch

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

3 years

I’m a slut and I love love! I contain multitudes!!!

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

3 years

Gm I saw the sun rise at work today

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@thepplsbottom

4 years

No ones talking about the true transgender craze seducing our daughters: animorphs

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@thepplsbottom

2 years

Thinking about how all of these attacks are in many ways a massive pushback to the growing anti work movement, unionizing, and a growing disillusionment with the nuclear family as the ideal out of life

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@thepplsbottom

5 years

Sex can just be two dykes rubbing each other’s new buzzcuts

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

2 years

S/o to the dyke bouncer who told me as i was leaving she hadn’t stopped thinking about my tits all night

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

4 years

*usher voice* this is my depressssion

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@thepplsbottom

5 years

Can’t stop thinking abt that tweet abt how trans girls all name themselves after protagonists in French period pieces and trans boys name themselves after rich ppls dogs

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

3 years

The negging is getting weird

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@thepplsbottom

3 years

Just bc you’re gay and have sex doesn’t mean you’re a sex educator lol

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@thepplsbottom

3 years

This is controversial but I think if you’re in an intimate relationship with someone you have to disclose that you used to be a poet

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

3 years

Being butch is great I literally just put on my silly little wife pleasers and somehow the most devastatingly beautiful femmes find that appealing

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@thepplsbottom

6 years

It’s sag szn bitches!!! Post that selfie!! Quit yr job!! Move to a new town and become their new dyke queen!!

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

3 years

Fighting with my insurance that getting 100-150 tattoos all over my body is in fact a gender affirming surgery

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

2 years

Inventing loud quitting which is just like quiet quitting except you get so stoned you can barely work

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@thepplsbottom

4 years

Breaking news: two dykes discover they were mutually intimidated by the other

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

6 years

@geihauss Ruby rose: What would happen if Shane from the l word and a can of monster had a child

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

6 years

Yes I’m ugly. Yes I’m hot. A bitch contains multitudes

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

2 years

Love when an er doc asks “what is the estrogen for”

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

3 years

Probably the corniest masc thing I do is call my ribbed white tanks ‘wifepleasers’

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

1 year

@openlyhot You can spot the annoying vibes from literally miles away

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

2 years

What does it mean to be in solidarity with workers who are asking for better quality of life doing work that shortens mine?

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

2 years

Godspeed to the dyke on the train this morning who rolled a cigarette while holding their coffee in their mouth

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

5 years

Having a crush during a pandemic feels like being catapulted backward into some Victorian dyke realm gimme another three weeks and I’ll be sending calligraphied scrolls and speaking of my bosom

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

3 years

Growing up weird looking and poor has left me completely unprepared for being hot and getting paid well

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

1 year

Not my cis wife referring to being cis as having “basic bitch estrogen”

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

2 years

Lmao I’m sorry idc how many pronouns you have if you’re a real estate developer you’re str8 to me

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

4 years

This is the vibe 🙏

DemoMarx

@MReco12

6 years

A Scottish woman reacts to the death of Margaret Thatcher.

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

5 years

My gf just said eye contact during sex is for marriage

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

6 years

Tinder but for therapists

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

3 years

This is my favorite so far: Chess

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

3 years

Like let’s be real I care more about being a dyke than I do a woman

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

2 years

My doctor: you’re estrogen levels are 3x the limit for a woman Me: Passy :)

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@thepplsbottom

4 years

I’ll never get over being a whole ass transsexual out in the world and casually looking over to see a middle aged woman reading detransition baby across from me

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

3 years

Idk why but the phrase ethically non monogamous instantly makes me trust that person less

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

3 years

I’m a mish mash of gender and presentation but put me next to a 6’ femme and my ass starts opening doors, fetching water, and lighting cigarettes like a 60s butch

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

7 months

Honestly I kinda hate dispensaries I don’t wanna go to weed target I want a man so ridden with conspiracy theories to bring me my weed in a 2002 Acura

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

2 years

Bitch I lived

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

6 months

Sometimes the reason “no one wants to top anymore” is bc you kinda suck and seem like a bad time to sleep with, hope this helps!

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

5 months

I lived bitch

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@thepplsbottom

3 years

Idk my cis friends regularly move in ways that actually show we’re in solidarity so I don’t rly need them to send me a check in text every time something fucked happens lol

5

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@thepplsbottom

2 years

The transguy apparel stealth beanie has to be the funniest product of representation politics to date

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

2 years

We won v day bc our server hit on us

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@thepplsbottom

3 years

We deserve an entire movie about her

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@thepplsbottom

2 years

‘Honk shoo’ knuck tats bc I’m a sleepy girl

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@thepplsbottom

2 years

I think part of what skeeves me out about the vasectomy retorts isn’t just the bio essentialism of it but the seeming lack of recognition that there are a whole host of women behind this too like so many of y’all are still stuck on this idea of patriarchy that’s men do bad

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@thepplsbottom

1 year

@anthrocultur Yah I mean there’s absolutely something about like son not performing masculinity correctly that’s so fertile for gender discussion but the more explicit episodes of like what IS a man are so goooood

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

1 year

My best friend’s, who were staying with, cat survived a fire but their owner didn’t and know when you lay near her like while working out or doing yoga she gets rly anxious and starts patting at you to make sure you’re okay 😭

5

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

1 year

Two years of summers where I feel insane and only just now realized it’s bc my mood stabilizer destroys my ability to regulate heat, a thing a doctor might have deigned to mention

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

3 years

Butches love waking up at 6am catching a train to the Bronx and working with heavy machinery

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

3 years

Dykes, of the past, wooing someone: Sweet mother, I cannot weave –slender Aphrodite has overcome me with longing for a girl. Me, now: I have to show her this picture of a bear

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@thepplsbottom

3 years

It’s not surprising a lot of y’all don’t have satisfying community with how often I see some iteration of “only invest in those who are worth your time” type sentiments

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@thepplsbottom

3 years

Lmao I love that this is what assimilationists fought for

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

5 years

Femme in summer: cutting all my pants into shorts Butch in summer: cutting all my shirts into muscle tees

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

5 years

It is 2020 and my landlords used “folx” in an email

3

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House_Wife_Material

@thepplsbottom

6 years

La croix is French for dumb bitch juice

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