Andrew Woodrun @theandyw Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

9 months

@MeekyBlinders Your priority weight is being dropped in the spreadsheet. See you on 20:41 Oct 27, 2031.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

4 years

@mcfw Footage from the scene:

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

2 years

@BobLonsberry Looking at the MCFW notes, it looks like RPD had an appropriate response time. Also, assuming a death is blamed upon a singular factor is poor journalism. This patient was dead when 911 was called. Mudslinging like this is just taking advantage of a tragedy to push a narrative.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

10 months

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

10 months

Hedgehogs are weird little guys

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

9 years

Drake explains the sodium-potassium ATPase pump.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

3 years

'Submitted my second story for #ShortStoryChallenge2021 ! I definitely felt like the judge feedback from the 1st round helped me tighten up my writing. Thanks for the help @nycmidnight !

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

4 years

Y'all won't believe the progress I've made on this story. Holy cow. #ShortStoryChallenge2021

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

4 years

‘Diving into #shortstorychallenge2021 . I’m psyched about my group assignment.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

10 months

At the age of 33, you’d think I would have fully recovered from being homeschooled. I figured out how to straight lace shoes today.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

9 months

@MeekyBlinders What a loser

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

4 years

When you're 800 words overbudget and seriously questioning your take on the subject. #ShortStoryChallenge2021

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

1 year

@BobLonsberry I remember seeing all of the “Healthcare workers are heroes!” banners and getting random “thanks” and “kudos” from people while working as a paramedic in 2020. The whole time I was thinking, “This is fake. This will go away and people will hate you for being exhausted again.”

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

4 years

@lonergan_grant @GRRMspeaking Stan Lee published his fan letter when he was 14 in Fantastic Four #20 .

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

2 years

@mcfw

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

11 months

The police force should replace their German Shepard with 15 attack chihuahuas.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

10 months

The day after Thanksgiving should be National Dietary Fiber Awareness Day.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

11 months

Me: “Lack of sleep doesn’t affect me.” Also me: walks into women’s room and is unfazed by the presence of women while on 2 hours of sleep.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

4 years

If you were to grade a movie on its ability to be humorous, dark, meaningful, and clever; JoJo Rabbit would take the cake. Best movie I've seen in a long time.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

4 years

Done! Definitely taut the line with the subject (probably going to be disqualified). But, I had a lot of fun writing this. Genre: Romance Subject: Practice makes perfect Character: Cafeteria worker #ShortStoryChallenge2021

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

11 months

Making sure I keep all of the American stereotypes alive by getting confused by the espresso machine and then using a pair of pliers to fix it.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

1 year

It doesn't happen very often, but I occasionally miss RadioShack.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

5 years

I was under this false impression that I am more intelligent in my dreams. Last night I dreamed I did CPR on a hard boiled egg.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

2 years

I think a good life goal would just be to have someone in your life who would love you enough to do this for you.

Dudes Posting Their W’s

@DudespostingWs

2 years

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

5 years

If you don't like classical music, you are a piece of dog poop in the lawnmower blades of society.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

1 year

Note to self: bring more books to recruitment events at work.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

1 year

I’m still sad Norm Macdonald passed away.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

11 months

I’m in the London Airport. It’s taking all of my energy to restrain the intrusive urge to say, “God save the Queen” instead of “thank you”.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

10 months

@MeekyBlinders I think “Were you ever banned from Club Penguin as a child?” should be a standard psychiatric evaluation question.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

6 years

Keep these in your glovebox in case someone wants to square-up Mario Kart IRL.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

5 years

Irony is me spending extra for cage-free eggs, while being unable to afford anything larger than a studio apartment.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

10 months

@MeekyBlinders My autistic chemistry classmates in college couldn’t tell. 😎

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

10 years

@IsaacDeitz @lecrae Context...

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

1 year

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

5 years

Went to a haunted house. Pig doctor ran at me with a vaginal speculum. Very progressive. Five stars.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

7 years

I think the most troubling thing about Christianity is that: no matter how hard I try, I cannot refute its beauty and plausibility.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

12 years

Nathan Mowery, Frank Abbamonte, and Isaac Deitz are great guys. #hint_ladies

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

1 year

How training someone at work feels

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

11 months

@MeekyBlinders Hell yeah

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

12 years

Whoever won, last night I was able to eat a hot meal, use my freedom of religion, and go to a school to participate in democracy. #thankful

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

3 years

I hate this…

Jody Houser ✒️🗯️🎲

@Jody_Houser

3 years

Google “pulp book cover” plus your name & share the best one

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

1 year

I always tell Siri thank you, so I am safe during the AI apocalypse.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

7 years

I think my super power is getting the vending machine at work to accidentally dispense twice.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

1 year

You ever felt like you've dipped your mind into a deep fryer?

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

7 years

I wouldn't recommend stabbing yourself in the hand. I'm fairly certain I partially lacerated a tendon.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

11 years

I'm trying to give up laughter for lent. I'm doing a terrible job.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

5 years

rise of skywalker c3p0 jar jar sex scene

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

11 months

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

1 year

I have not paid for Twitter Blue.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

10 years

ALS Ice Bucket Challenge was just a Christian scam to get everyone baptized! Haha, take that pagans!

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

11 years

It almost took me two months to realize I may use http://t.co/XwyqV3n5Zt again since I returned to the States.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

6 years

You're not a real EMT until you have an Instagram post involving a dog in your ambulance.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

1 year

I need to go over this with a fine-combed tooth.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

6 years

In hell, there will be a gluten-free pizzeria.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

8 years

@ProduceSteve @BarbaricBalloon @YouTube The only phrases I can really remember are the misogynist ones to use on women.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

10 months

@MeekyBlinders That sounds like the intro line to a feminist high fantasy novel.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

8 years

@Whats_her_face3 @MeekyBlinders I, for the life of me, cannot remember the password for this account.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

10 months

I like how Chick-fil-A will be closed on Sundays, but open on Thanksgiving.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

5 years

Sorry. I thought this was Google.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

12 years

When I'm feeling lonely, I search the divorce rates for people my age and I being to feel a deep, bitter satisfaction. #cats

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

6 years

Current life mood: Eat rice, get money, read books, get money

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

3 years

Everyone believes that class designations are dependent upon personal wealth, but they are actually dependent upon how long you allow your tea to steep for.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

4 years

I identify with Woody Allen's character in "Annie Hall" on a spiritual level.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

11 months

people. Look for the true altruists. Ideas kill, find the people that just want things to be better, then the ones simply fighting for a team. Good and evil exist. Educate yourself and use logic. It’s not as complicated as everyone wants you to believe it is. (3/3)

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

11 months

9 years of running around on an ambulance and I still get depressed from seeing some of the stuff people have to go through.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

13 years

If teens only understood the sensation on receives from taking a Halls and drinking cold water the nation's drug problem would be abated.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

11 years

Me: Why can't human waste be used as compost? Colton: We're omnivores. Only herbivore waste works. I'm watching an agricultural anime now.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

7 years

I've come to the conclusion that black metal is basically emo music with lots of distortion.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

1 year

Children shouldn't be given assigned pronouns at birth, they should earn them on the field of battle.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

4 years

@Al_Ewing @audkoch I’ll bid $750. I love that this is a donation.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

7 years

The issue with most "bullshit" calls I go on is that they were not bullshit. I was just too daft to elucidate the complexity of the issue.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

1 year

Me explaining why the first house I built on the Minecraft server is historical.

Gino Fanelli

@GinoFanelli

1 year

Mayor Malik Evans has announced the Lockwood-Alhart House, the last cobblestone house in the city of Rochester, will be acquired by the city land bank for preservation

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

12 years

Going to church doesn't make you anymore of a christian than growing a beard makes you more of a man.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

1 year

Positives of riding your bike to the airport: you don’t have to pay for parking. Negatives: you will be sweaty, the body scanning machine will detect this, some TSA agent will have to pat down your junk.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

9 years

As much as I've felt like this job has destroyed my ability to feel empathy, that call definitely touched some cords.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

3 years

Round 2, let’s go! #ShortStoryChallenge2021

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

4 years

1730 words in to this story. I feel like the word count will be doubled before I actually finish it. I'll have to prune it down a bit. Definitely procrastinated until the last minute. #ShortStoryChallenge2021

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

10 years

I would like to take a moment to thank God for inventing cows, for their milk is delicious.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

6 years

@MeekyBlinders

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

5 years

SPOILER: Leaked shot of GOT's finale.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

4 years

2018, 2019, 2020, 2020, 2020, 2023, 2024...

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

9 years

Remember, it's "New Year's EVE" not "New Year's STEVE".

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

12 years

To the guy who threw a penny in the bottom of the urinal: you should get in touch with the writers of Saw.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

6 years

How to tell if a fantasy novel will be good: Was there a power metal album dedicated to it? Yes? It'll be a good book.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

2 years

My best explanation of the current stock market conditions comes from Catan: it’s like being hit by a robber when you have 14 cards in your hand.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

1 year

Thanks for ruining the environment to get this video.

Massimo

@Rainmaker1973

1 year

Carbon dioxide is one of the major gases responsible for leavening in baking. In bread making, the yeast organisms expel CO₂ as they feed off of sugars. CO₂ expands and moves as the bread dough warms and bakes in the oven

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

2 years

I am more annoyed when my “thought of trains” is interrupted, rather than my “train of thought”.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

1 year

Me: fumbles a morphine vial in front of an elderly patient who used to be a surgeon. Patient: “Oh my god…”

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

9 years

I wonder how long it's going to take for the LGBTQ movement to become the ABCDEFGHIJKLMONPQRSTUVWXYZ movement.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

6 years

I'm joining the Space Force.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

1 year

Highly relatable content

Ryan D. Anderson

@ItsRyanAnderson

1 year

'Microwaving Pizza'

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

5 years

The UN should just play Catan whenever they are stumped.

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

4 years

Wine bottle: "This zinfandel is layered with notes of dark cherry and toasted oak. It pairs perfectly with any meat dish." Me: "Nice. It's chicken nuggets and wine night, baby!"

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Andrew Woodrun

@theandyw

5 years

I really want to try to develop film with this beer.