Stacey @skittle624 Twitter profile

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Stacey

@skittle624

7 years

When someone tells me they aren't a dog person, all I hear is blah, blah, blah, I'm a psychopath.

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Stacey

@skittle624

7 months

My new man ❤️🐶

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 months

I’m so glad I pay for a million different streaming services and none of the movies I’m looking for are free.

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Stacey

@skittle624

5 months

I miss $20 concert tickets and $10 band tees.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

I think it’s only fair that if I clean something, it stays clean for all of eternity.

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Stacey

@skittle624

5 years

I really don’t understand why my neighbors have to be outside when I’m outside.

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Stacey

@skittle624

7 years

I’d like to go on an HGTV show and say that I don’t care if the house is great for entertaining because I don’t want anyone coming over.

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Stacey

@skittle624

7 months

My mom died 23 years ago and my pants don’t fit me right and today is stupid.

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Stacey

@skittle624

7 months

Marriage after 20 years is basically waking up and telling each other which body part got injured while sleeping.

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Stacey

@skittle624

1 year

MTV is shutting down, which really doesn’t affect me much now, but my teenage self is completely devastated.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

My dogs don’t understand why I have to leave the house everyday, and quite frankly, neither do I.

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Stacey

@skittle624

4 years

I’m going to start my diet today and finish my diet today because I like to get things done.

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Stacey

@skittle624

2 years

Saw a girl in the car next to me having a full conversation with her dog, and I know, I just know, we are somehow related.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

I would make such a good Powerball winner.

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Stacey

@skittle624

7 years

My favorite episode of House Hunters is the one where the couple wants an open floor plan, lots of natural light, and room to entertain.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

I miss getting excited about an MTV music video.

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Stacey

@skittle624

4 years

Wearing a mask makes it so much easier to talk to myself without looking like a weirdo.

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Stacey

@skittle624

8 months

I realize that choosing a pasta can be a confusing and difficult decision, but for the love of all that is holy, move your cart to the side.

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Stacey

@skittle624

5 years

My husband threw away my leftover tater tots and I just don’t know how we move on from this.

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Stacey

@skittle624

2 years

I hope Will Smith is on Twitter so he can be friends with the other people here who can’t take a joke.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

My husband wasn’t nice to me in my dream last night. So like any normal woman, I told him our conversations today will be kept to a minimum.

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Stacey

@skittle624

5 years

On behalf of dogs everywhere, I’d like to say, kindly take your fireworks and shove them up your ass.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

No one knows sadness like someone who loves a Netflix show and finds out it wasn’t renewed for a second season.

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Stacey

@skittle624

8 months

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

I have an awful lot of going out clothes for someone who never goes out.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

From now on, only talk to me using movie quotes please. I am serious...and don’t call me Shirley.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

The perfect solution to the gas problem is to never leave your house.

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Stacey

@skittle624

2 years

I left my house in a rush and didn’t say a proper goodbye to my dogs and now my life is ruined.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

I’m starting yoga today and If my body isn’t perfect by noon, I’m quitting.

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Stacey

@skittle624

2 years

I’ve had Netflix marathons that have lasted longer than Tom Brady’s retirement.

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Stacey

@skittle624

5 years

My EarPods died 5 minutes into my walk so I’m going home to watch TV. It was a sign. Exercise is stupid.

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Stacey

@skittle624

5 years

Why can’t everyone just be a dog?

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Stacey

@skittle624

10 years

Dear Cool People, they didn't name a candy after you, did they? Love, Nerds.

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Stacey

@skittle624

7 years

I don't mind vacuuming, but if the cord doesn't reach an area of the room, I'm not making a special trip over there.

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Stacey

@skittle624

4 years

I got my vaccine, but didn’t post a picture of it on Facebook, so I guess it’s not going to be effective.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

Anyone: Do you want to stay home or Me: Yes

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

I brought a salad for lunch and it was great. I really enjoyed it and only ate 30 pretzels, half a bag of hot Cheetos, and 3 Twizzlers when I got home. Eating healthy is really working for me.

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Stacey

@skittle624

2 years

I went to the Bon Jovi concert last night and danced while all of the old people sat in their seats. ~old people, meaning people my age

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Stacey

@skittle624

2 years

I think I have a problem

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Stacey

@skittle624

7 months

To the pants with the fake pockets…everybody hates you.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

I’m more than willing to test out that whole “money can’t buy happiness” thing.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

Just got a Hulu subscription because apparently, the 15,000 shows on Netflix and Amazon Prime aren’t enough for me.

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Stacey

@skittle624

2 years

My parents have been gone for half of my life and that is ridiculously sad.

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Stacey

@skittle624

4 years

WHY ARE PEOPLE STILL GOING ON CRUISES???

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

My husband had an affair in my dream, but I still love him. And if I ever talk to him again, I’ll tell him.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

Where is funny Twitter? I can’t find it.

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Stacey

@skittle624

7 years

Life is short. Buy the concert tickets.

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Stacey

@skittle624

7 years

Can’t talk now. Just bought two packs of raspberries and I only have about 3 minutes to eat them before they get moldy.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

People that can quote the movie Airplane are my kind of people.

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Stacey

@skittle624

5 years

Don’t forget to say something really stupid to someone today.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

Are people still keeping calm and doing things or is that over now?

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Stacey

@skittle624

5 years

Not enough people like to be quiet.

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Stacey

@skittle624

5 years

There is no way that it’s morning already. ~me, every single morning

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Stacey

@skittle624

7 years

If you invite me over and put your dog in the other room, it defeats the entire purpose of the visit.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

I slept for 9 hours last night and I’m ready to take on the world! I just need to rest a bit first.

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Stacey

@skittle624

2 years

Just saw that french fries, sugar, and coffee speed up the aging process, so my age right now is 172.

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Stacey

@skittle624

10 years

You know what I like about people? Their dogs.

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Stacey

@skittle624

5 months

You’re only as old as you feel. ~feels 103

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Stacey

@skittle624

9 months

My dog died and I hate everything.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

And once again I wake up to find I still don’t have a sexy English accent.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

My husband is back on Twitter, so I guess I should stop tweeting about my boyfriend.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

I accidentally stepped on my dog’s paw and she yelped, so I’ll just be here, questioning what kind of monster I am and crying all day.

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Stacey

@skittle624

7 years

I just bought orange juice and wine. No, not for mimosa’s. Orange juice for my husband, because he is sick. Wine for me, because my husband is sick.

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Stacey

@skittle624

5 years

My son told me he’s too old for trick or treating. It’s like he doesn’t understand that his MOM NEEDS FREE CANDY.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

My family plays this adorable game. The rule is everyone shoves as much crap as they can into the garbage bag without actually taking it out to the curb. It’s fun.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

Got a new stove today and then ordered a pizza because I don’t want to ruin it by getting it dirty or anything.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it. I have never in my life remembered it.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

I really despise every car on the road. Unless a dog sticks their head out of the window. Then I love that car.

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Stacey

@skittle624

2 years

There is a country music festival all weekend near me and I’m so excited. To not be going.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

Not enough people talk about how delicious Chili Cheese Fritos are.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

My New Year’s resolution is to eat more tater tots on my couch.

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Stacey

@skittle624

5 years

Drinking 8 glasses of water isn’t easy, but I get really thirsty when I eat Funyuns. So problem solved. It feels good to be healthy.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

Someone told me I was crazy to let my dogs on my new couch. I contemplated this for a moment and then made sure my dogs were comfortable on my new couch.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

My dogs never ask stupid questions.

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Stacey

@skittle624

4 years

I eat oatmeal in the morning to help my cholesterol. I eat cheese for the rest of the day because I ate oatmeal in the morning.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

To the people with extra loud cars... everyone hates you.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

You don’t smile at dogs who walk by you? Loser.

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Stacey

@skittle624

5 years

Bruce Springsteen told us we were born to run, but I really don’t think he meant me. I was born to relax.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

Having to decide what’s for dinner every single night is one of life’s small tortures.

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Stacey

@skittle624

4 years

You’ve got some nerve ~my dogs, to anyone who walks by our window

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

My son has decided he loves avocado toast and now I have to get a second job.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

My husband and I got home from work at the same time and he went into the bathroom first. I don’t know who he thinks he is.

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Stacey

@skittle624

4 years

Tell your dog I said happy new year.

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Stacey

@skittle624

11 months

I’m so glad I take vitamins to feel exactly the same as when I don’t take vitamins.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

The happiest place on earth isn’t Disney World. It’s my bed.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

I just want to stay home and not leave my house today. ~me, everyday

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Stacey

@skittle624

5 years

Nothing says sexy like that toilet in your selfie.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

Facebook is down. How will I know who is feeling blessed now?

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

I’m super busy today. I have to kiss my dogs, rub their bellies, sniff their paws, and make their tails wag ridiculously fast.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

My husband asked me to do something creative in the bedroom, so I positioned my three dogs in the shape of a heart and went to sleep.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

I’m going away for 3 days, so naturally I packed 10 outfits.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

Sometimes I deliberately forget to use dryer sheets so my husband can go to work with my panties stuck to his shirt.

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Stacey

@skittle624

4 years

I love when my dog...does anything.

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Stacey

@skittle624

7 years

My son just said there was too much cheese on his quesadilla. I don't understand where I went wrong.

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Stacey

@skittle624

4 years

I wonder why I keep buying clothes when I don’t go anywhere.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

Just go to bed. My solution to pretty much everything.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

If you just decide that you don’t want your pet anymore, you are the biggest piece of shit ever.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

You got a dog during quarantine and now giving him up because you’re too busy? Go fuck yourself.

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Stacey

@skittle624

3 years

Don’t worry about getting the loud, wobbly, broken cart at the store. I’ve got it.

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Stacey

@skittle624

6 years

“How about a nice romantic night together? We can lay in bed, watch a movie, and snuggle. How does that sound?” “Sounds great babe” my husband says from the other room. “Should we tell him I was talking to you?” I say to my dogs.

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