Kym Deyn 🔮 @shortestwitch Twitter profile

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Kym Deyn 🔮

6 months

New followers, hi! I'm a poet/Spec Fic writer/editor/tarotist based in Newcastle. My pamphlets are Primers Vol.6 ( @NineArchesPress ) Dionysia ( @VervePoetryPres ) and Unfurl. I run @TheBraag , a press and micro-journal. Website is 💚✒️

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

3 years

obsessed with this sea-weathered saint on the church near Hartlepool headland. there's something fantastically wild and eldritch about her.

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@shortestwitch

4 years

My gut feeling is that this makes WD-40 an essential ingredient in necromancy.

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@shortestwitch

6 months

unfortunately, i am neither femme nor butch. I'm a dandy. I'm performing masculinity terribly on purpose. velvet? with those breeches? i keep buying cravats off of etsy. i need a fainting couch.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

1 year

He’s so fucking yellow (Before you @ me, turmeric is rat safe and this was Deeply Unintentional)

Caoimhe Montgomery

@EmpressOfKashyr

1 year

Give the rats turmeric, she said. It'll reduce inflammation, she said. This mouse is fucking YELLOW now

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

3 years

my job has ruined me. I saw the phrase "Panini Press" and assumed it was a new poetry imprint.

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@shortestwitch

3 years

In Jesmond Old Cemetery there's a grave with a hole weathered through it. It's the only one like this in the entire cemetery. It is possibly a portal into another world.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

2 years

When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?

Possumeveryhour.io

@PossumEveryHour

2 years

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@shortestwitch

2 years

nothing beats the smug satisfaction of emailing the council to tell them that after months of them being useless about holy well, it got cleaned up by a witch, an anglican and a random catholic we picked up on the way.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

5 months

Fuck it, Chicago Rat Hole Poem 🐀

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@shortestwitch

3 years

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOURE DOING: I PUT A MONOPOLY HAT ON A RAT. I REPEAT I PUT A MONOPOLY HAT ON A RAT.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

2 years

researching this murderer (well his guilt is debatable, but he did hang for it) and his defence was basically "there are so many bones everywhere all the time it is unreasonable to suspect these bones are caused by me."

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@shortestwitch

3 years

I might have written a poem about her already, for Hartlepool Waterfront Festival! 💙☄️🐚

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@shortestwitch

2 years

im very professional

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

2 years

Don’t be parasocial, be paranormal. Don’t say weird things to people with lots of followers, instead curl up in the dark hollow of a well’s mouth and invite the villagers to join you, and as time passes, terrorise psychics and ghost hunters when they disturb your eternal rest.

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@shortestwitch

2 years

how's the poetry going, Kym? me: *frantically covering over my laptop screen* well, uh....

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@shortestwitch

3 years

I'm sorry i can't respond to you email right now, I'm on research leave. I'm not an academic, I've just gone to look at snails in the garden. I'll be back whenever.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

3 years

the alternate title for this tiny poem is "no talk me im sleepy" or "i am here to make a very important point about the benefits of hibernation".

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

3 years

I always think the dark this time of year won't get to me, and it always does. A tiny poem in protest of the 3:00PM sunsets.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

1 year

AHAHAH. this is my one (1) claim to fame

Jay Hulme

@JayHulmePoet

1 year

Kym once performed this poem in front of the Poet Laureate (famous for his translation of Gawain and the Green Knight), and to make it worse for him, they were both on stage so he had to keep a straight face for the whole thing. Even as they 'exchanged blow for blow'...

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@shortestwitch

3 years

The reason why science doesn't know where eels go to mate is simply because the eels like to keep their romantic lives fresh and sexy

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@shortestwitch

2 years

me: I think the vibe of this photo isn't heterosexual couple, but dashing academic who accidentally gets caught up in exciting murder mysteries and her hapless research assistant who follows her around writing down her case notes. Jay: you're so right

Jay Hulme

@JayHulmePoet

2 years

Whenever we go on adventures together @shortestwitch and I are like "I hope people don't think we're a straight couple." Unfortunately... These are the photos that her fiancée took of us today.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

1 year

Which fictional characters have mine and @JayHulmePoet ’s dynamic?

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

3 years

okay. i have to be honest. every single time a magazine has a themed issue and they're like "we want your best SAWDUST themed work. but not literal sawdust. we want work that's dry. that hamsters piss on. we want DUST." i have no fucking clue what y'all want.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

2 months

So glad Jay's got some closure but its disgusting this took so long to be sorted. this was also a great time for him to be accused of fucking witchcraft because he was friends with me, and the bishop can't handle some random internet occulist he's never met

Jay Hulme

@JayHulmePoet

2 months

I began being stalked in June 2021 and I first reported her to the police in January 2022 and the diocese in march 2022 and it's very gratifying, especially after a long period of not being believed, to have her plead guilty and for the news of her crimes to become public.

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@shortestwitch

4 months

I'll read this one, that's what its there for. Anyway, I began reading and realised the pages were still uncut. A hundred years and I was the first one to read it, constantly saved for best. I got a cup of tea and a knife and opened each page like a present.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

2 months

I'm sure this is something Jay would rather not bring up, but there's been a huge financial toll in dealing with this due to lost work & mental stress. Now would be an amazing time to support him, either through buying his books or supporting him on patreon 👇👇

Jay Hulme

@JayHulmePoet

2 months

I began being stalked in June 2021 and I first reported her to the police in January 2022 and the diocese in march 2022 and it's very gratifying, especially after a long period of not being believed, to have her plead guilty and for the news of her crimes to become public.

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@shortestwitch

5 years

You mean to tell me that Mary Shelley helped her lesbian friends escape to Paris and there isn't a BBC miniseries I can watch about it right this instant???

Whores of Yore

@WhoresofYore

5 years

'Anne Lister's diaries are just the beginning of a rich lesbian subculture being uncovered in 19th century Britain' - by me!

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

6 months

im not joking

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

3 years

all the ladies in the castle covering up the mirrors because if a knight sees his reflection he gets the urge to fight it like a particularly dim canary

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

2 years

Seeing tweets from politicians asking where the money is going to come from for pay rises for striking workers when the CEO of BT's pay rise for this year ALONE is more than my father has made in his ENTIRE 45 years working at BT.

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@shortestwitch

4 years

The problem with growing up in a haunted house is that no one believes your confessional poems. "Oh, the ghost is a metaphor." he was just there, brenda!!

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

4 months

I found the most beautiful early 20th century copy of A Christmas Carol in a charity shop (green kid leather cover, gold leaf, beautiful endpapers). I bought it and thought I should probably get a reading copy so as to not ruin it. A few years passed and I thought, nah (1/2)

Oliver Darkshire 🌈

@deathbybadger

4 months

ten years as an antiquarian, hearing nothing but "my relative kept these untouched in a box their whole life but they died, and I don't want this stuff" has radicalized me. annotate the books. use the china. wear the clothes until they wear out. your life should not be a museum

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@shortestwitch

3 years

Just witchy things: getting engaged the graveyard where you had your first date on Halloween

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

11 months

corporate wants you to find the difference between these two images

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@shortestwitch

2 years

help: i got adopted by a holy well and made fixing it up a community project, how do I let all the Christians who are going to join me gently know I'm a lesbian witch without raising hell?

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@shortestwitch

4 years

the worst time to find out your vintage halloween sweater glows in the dark is when you're alone at 1 am reaching for the light switch and you see a glowing pair of eyes from the pile of clothes on the chair next to you 💀💀💀

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

3 years

my girlfriend: am I your muse? me, writing poems about bog bodies, 18th century antiquary and druid enthusiast Rev. William Stukeley, and snakestones: o-of course!

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

2 months

incredible that I have beef with a bishop. just out here fulfiling my duty as a medieval witch.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

2 years

my local independent bakery is in a position, that after nine years of business, it may close in February due to the energy bills jumping from £250 to £1700 a month. The proprietor is using the money saved for her WEDDING to keep it open that long.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

3 years

I hate writing prose! It has to ""make sense"" and have a ""cohesive narrative"" and ""believable worldbuilding"" I'm a poet I want Vibes Only.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

2 years

talked to my dad today. He's worked for BT since he left school, he said he's striking because "the top boss' pay rise this year - just the pay rise - is more than I've made working at BT for 48 years." It's criminal.

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@shortestwitch

2 years

While at Durhan Uni I was more often asked if I was previously an international school student than asked if I was northern. (Because of my accent.) Even worse was having to tell them that I just had a faint american accent from watching too much Scooby Doo as a child.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

2 years

trying to chanel a piece of my mother's advice today. She always says to me, "Kym, if I looked at the whole of the allotment before I dug it, I'd never do it. You do the thing that's in front of you first, one row at a time."

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@shortestwitch

2 years

I was in the holy well on midsummer wearing white and green for witch reasons and some poor lady came down to see the well and I gave her an impromptu history lesson because she was blocking the steps and then she asked what I did for a living and I said "poet" which did not help

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

3 years

I was in a bookstore today and the elderly proprietor starts telling me about spirits. Apparently all sorts blows through due to the building's connection with a famous prophetess. I say I see them too, and he says "you must be careful, sometimes the bad ones look like people."

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@shortestwitch

3 years

practising self-care by assuming every absolutely batshit take on here is by someone whose brain has been taken over by one of those zombie mushroom parasites. Poor souls, the Mycelium God of Brainworm Discourse made them do it.

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@shortestwitch

2 years

“My Lord, almost every place conceals such remains. In fields, in hills, in highway sides, in commons lie frequent and unexpected bones.”

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

2 years

Poets and short fiction (especially spec fic) writers of the North of England, identify yourselves! I'm slowly putting together some sort of project and I'll be reaching out to some writers. If you're nearby Newcastle, great, but no worries if not! 💚💫

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

1 year

not to subtweet but I just saw a press saying "it makes me so miserable when poets ask to be paid, im out of pocket doing this, maybe I should pack the whole thing in" and loads of poets going "you're so right!" IT IS NEVER WRONG TO ASK TO BE PAID FOR YOUR WORK.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

1 year

Oh my god. My mother bought the worlds most cursed pot at an estate sale. Can anybody tell this what this is and how possessed my family are going to be?

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

2 years

My emails from my local community orchard continue to be a delight. This week's included the phrase :"Steve will be reprising his popular snail races on our Open Day".

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

1 year

Our rats are exceptionally old and one of them has a chest infection (not the yellow one) and isn’t responding well so as a last ditch attempt to reduce some of the inflammation in his lungs I sprinkled some turmeric powder in his food, and the other rat promptly rolled in it.

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@shortestwitch

2 months

It's not like I've got lots of friends in the C of E or anything. How awful to think people with different faiths could be friends and not participate in the other's religion - obviously I make everyone I meet do necromancy and get nasty with the devil.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

1 year

my rats are very, very elderly now and this is making me sad, so have this poem I wrote about them last year

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@shortestwitch

1 year

'Ask Not for Who the Garfield Phone Rings', is my ecopoetic meditation on our dark eldritch god (Garfield) and how each of us partakes the communion of microplastics. In Footprints, published by @brokensleep : Good news from the abyss: there are no more Mondays

jim rose circus

@jimrosecircus1

1 year

For more than 30 years, plastic Garfield phones have been washing up on French beaches. The mystery is now solved: a shipping container from a ship that sank in the 80s was found in a hidden cave.

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@shortestwitch

3 years

before the pandemic "come alone. wearing a mask." would be such an ominous instruction.

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@shortestwitch

1 year

One of my poems in the most recent issue of Queerlings... 🌿 Sir Gawain is my babygirl and I'm so glad to have this poem out in the world! 💚💚

Queerlings 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

@queerlings

1 year

Issue 7 Cover Reveal 🤩🥳 we're busy behind the scenes making the final edits to this beautiful issue. Due to be released April 20th #WritingCommunity #writerscommunity #writersoftwitter #poetrycommunity #poetrytwitter #poetsofTwitter #poetry #fiction #nonfiction #LGBTQIA

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@shortestwitch

5 years

mum: your boy was on telly last night me: my boy?? I don't have a boy. mum: whatsit. You know. Boy!! me: Oh!! You meen eighteenth century antiquary and druid enthusiast william stukeley??

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@shortestwitch

3 years

I made the mistake of opening a pdf with google docs and I'm pretty sure it turned my 12th century lai into avante garde poetry.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

3 years

Things I am enjoying about reading La Morte d'Arthur (the keith barnes version) for the first time:

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

1 year

In uni I was once in a meeting at or a poetry/crossover event we were doing with the charity fashion show, and one of the fashion girlies looked at me and said, earnestly, "but paying artists sets a dangerous precedent!" I paused at the sheer DU audacity of it all and said: good.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

2 years

How your email finds me:

Today Years Old

@todayyearsoldig

2 years

Friendly reminder that owls are not waterproof. This is why you never see them in the rain

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@shortestwitch

2 years

On all levels except physical this is me and @JayHulmePoet

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

2 years

It does bring me impish delight that my mother's maiden name was adams, and she was called Morticia all the way through school. Meanwhile, when I was a child my dad used to make guitar cases that looked like coffins and my favourite game was lying in them pretending to be dead.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

3 years

naughty writers get put in the isolator until they finish their manuscript

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

5 months

A little while ago @NoreenMasud sent me a painted dala horse, and I wrote a little poem about it (and then left it in my google docs for fear it was too sentimental!)🧡 I think its important to hang on to these little kindnesses at the moment.

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@shortestwitch

1 year

I was on the phone to @JayHulmePoet today and I just kept repeating “I Cannot explain to you how yellow this mouse is.”

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

3 years

I wrote this small poem today inbetween, uh, Making Myself Miserable on The Internet. I figure we all occasionally need the reminder to go and do something–anything–else.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

3 years

i was looking back over some old stuff, and I realised that a prize I got during the pandemic (that took an entry fee and then didn't.... offer me anything when I won???) paid £700 to the winners the year before. so they just took our money during a panini and paid in "prestiege"

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

2 years

sometimes i go to tell a story and only realise how weird it is when I'm in the middle of it, like "oh, I once fought a juvenile peacock inside a greenhouse. The peacock won."

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

1 year

I need you all to know these two photos are of the same rat:

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

1 year

i am always thinking about this poem

Tara Skurtu

@TaraSkurtu

2 years

Louise Glück telling it like it is.

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@shortestwitch

3 years

main causes of dead ladies in Le Morte D'arthur 1) heartbreak (because of a knight) 2) beheading (because of a knight, occasionally a giant) 3) sorcery 4) childbirth what im generally seeing is that ladies should stay the fuck away from knights.

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@shortestwitch

3 years

Arthur really took one look at the round table and was like "a family can be a a bloodthirsty child (gawain), a commitmentphobe (Lancelot), an idiot (Kay), the greatest woman i've ever met (Guinevere), a fuckboy (tristam) and a bunch of people who tried to kill us"

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@shortestwitch

3 years

yet another unrealistic beauty standard for women

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@shortestwitch

9 months

every time one of those asshats is fired there's a brief ray of hope, quickly squashed by whoever they summon, tentacled and screaming, from the netherworld, to fill the position that opened.

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@shortestwitch

2 years

The funny thing about twitter is that it’s basically talking to someone in a crowded room, but the crowd gets to decide the volume you’re speaking at

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@shortestwitch

1 year

a poem I wrote before I was sure I was chronically ill lol. Just reminding myself that I sometimes write poems.

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@shortestwitch

2 years

how your email finds me:

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@shortestwitch

2 years

I'm not leaving twitter until it falls down like a cheap facade in a western movie tho

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@shortestwitch

2 years

not my GF spelling christmas as cristmass in her christmas cards like a medieval noble writing before standardised spelling

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@shortestwitch

4 years

I'm writing a poem with my ancestor from 1855 and one of us is being disagreeable about it.

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@shortestwitch

2 months

brb just drawing some helpful diagrams of the devil's genitals so that my new acquaintances can pass the initiation and we can hang out 🙄

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@shortestwitch

2 years

A SFF short story of mine has been accepted into @hexagonmagazine !! I’m over the moon 🌙 🖤 This is the first fantasy story I’ve sold so this is huge for me! ✨

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@shortestwitch

3 years

me, innocently scrolling through a theatre jobs group...: they mean anti-racism and homophobia, right??? right???

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@shortestwitch

2 years

my extremely english mother: what's that food you like? nokia? me: do you mean gnocchi? her: yeah, nokia

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@shortestwitch

3 years

@JayHulmePoet i love you, but priests are far too easily freaked out for people who regularly discuss the extent to which they drink the blood of christ.

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@shortestwitch

4 years

There's days where I feel this poem more than others, but more and more these days.

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@shortestwitch

4 years

me, at myself: just write a normal poem, Kym. just write a normal poem. The poem:

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@shortestwitch

3 years

I will never forget the time my mum was hounded over the phone by some people who wanted to us to buy solar and she got so sick of telling them no that she got me to tell them she'd moved to Australia and tragically died.

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@shortestwitch

2 years

My friends always gets my most unhinged updates:

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@shortestwitch

4 years

there's a set of people who are always weirdly offended that I stole text from the Voynich manuscript for one of my tattoos What if it ends up saying something horrible??! idk Chelsea they've been trying to translate it for 500 years and still don't have a fucking clue

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@shortestwitch

2 years

I am a professional writer and therefore my tweets are never "derranged" or "unhinged", only ever "charmingly eccentric" and "showing a high degree of employability on behalf of their writer". Thank you.

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

3 years

I was sharing a room (and a bed no less!) with a girl while in a show at Ed Fringe Show. Lots of flirting happened, but I was very nervous because we were sleeping in the same bed for a month and didn't want to make her uncomfortable. 🧵

The Ripped Bodice

@TheRippedBodice

3 years

I enjoyed reading about your IRL YA moments and would now like to hear about the time your life most resembled a 💘romance novel💘 please and thank you

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@shortestwitch

3 years

theory: Merlin let Nyneve bury him in that cave not because of Fate but because he was fucking sick of Arthur's bullshit.

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@shortestwitch

2 years

My favourite useless talent is being able to find four leaf clovers wherever I go: 🍀

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@shortestwitch

9 months

I graduated in 2019, and things have changed so rapidly for the worse that I would no longer be able to afford university if I was attending now.

Rebecca Tamás

@RebTamas

9 months

How do you learn at university if you need to practically work full time to survive? We now have a brutal two tier system, where the poorest students are utterly left behind & desperate, and no one is talking about it.

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@shortestwitch

2 months

My poetry and speculative fiction press, the Braag CIC will be open for submissions June 15th - 31st. I've worked with some fantastic authors this year & we've sold hundreds of books - work with us!

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

2 years

listen everything is terrible and i probably can't make myself happy through sheer strength of will but maybe im gonna try

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Kym Deyn 🔮

@shortestwitch

3 years

Nothing like an elderly bookseller to say the most ominous thing possible in any given situation

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