SG @sharonGOONer Twitter profile

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SG

@sharonGOONer

4 years

Dave my husband is a cleaning manager in Sainsbury’s, an essential worker. Every day he cleans the trolley handles, checkouts, everything people touch. He has no ppe, no magic sanitisers. Like most, it’s not near heroic, it’s to keep a small wage coming in and not getting sacked.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

I want to thank everyone who voted for Brexit. I’m really looking forward to being marooned on a racist island with nothing to eat but shit cheese. You stupid bastards.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

@JuliaHB1 Oh back off vinegar tits. She’s done more for the environment in her few years here than you’ve done in your whole 73.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

Clapping for nhs last week was amazing, needed, and warranted. Now we need to get all essential workers equipment and proper wages and working conditions. It’s all the low paid who are still out there, we can’t function without them, please let’s look after them.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

@JamesBlunt @NoelGallagher @Damonalbarn @paulwellerHQ It’s nice to be cool. But it’s cooler to be nice.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

It’s just been discovered that the BBC intended to broadcast a show not featuring Nigel Farage. Thankfully they were rumbled in time and it’s been removed from the schedule. #HIGNFY

Have I Got News For You

@haveigotnews

5 years

Sorry everyone. The BBC have pulled tonight’s edition of #HIGNFY - no, we didn’t book Danny Baker. We booked Heidi Allen, a member of a party no-one knows the name of (not even the people in it), because the Euro elections, which nobody wants, may or may not be happening. Sorry.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

We had love the NHS, now let’s glove the NHS. 💙 and everyone else out there keeping the cogs turning. They may not be heroes saving lives, but every life must matter, not just some.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

Gareth Southgate though, so forward looking, unassuming, fiercely protective of his men, like a silent fucking fortress for good. Absolutely loving his style and strategy. He’s our man.

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@sharonGOONer

11 years

I hope when the guy who invented Tuppeware dies they can’t find a lid to fit his coffin.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

He’s going to be so annoyed that he’s asleep whilst getting all this lovely gratitude. He gets up at 12.45, in the shop at 1.15 to start his long day. I’ll be sure to send him all your comments and ensure he shares with his hard working low paid team. Solidarity/equality/love x

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

Michael Parkinson interviewed Rod Hull and Emu and came out of it with more dignity and class than you.

Piers Morgan

@piersmorgan

6 years

My interview is making news around the world. That’s MY idea of journalism.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

@DailyMirror This is a gross, vomit-inducing headline. You should be ashamed, shameful insubordination of a murder victim.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

@Jeremy_Hunt You’ve not closed the quote, you’ve included an unnecessary comma and the last line is not aligned to the margin. And you want to be involved with end of life policy? God help us.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

@JimDOfficial @DavidLammy Why don’t you fuck off to another country Jim, you rancid old bastard.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

HIV/AIDS: you can get it from shaking the hand of a gay person and toilet seats COVID: I don’t need a mask and I’m not having an injection, it’s a conspiracy How the fuck did we get here 🤷‍♀️

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@sharonGOONer

7 years

Elton John is worried what effect retiring from touring will have on his waistline. It’ll be goodbye normal jeans for a start.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

Cunt is a strong word and quite rightly should be reserved for anyone eating rice cakes in public. Have you smelt/heard yourself? Shuffling your little wrappers like you’re gonna live longer than the rest of us. In your corduroys.

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@sharonGOONer

3 years

@MetPoliceEvents @KyleJGlen @MetCC Thank you. I hope you have enough manpower to deal with the violence, the racism and knock on some doors this week. People should loose careers over this. The treatment on twitter of our black players has lost control.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

@HackedOffHugh Don’t worry Hugh, we know who the real prime minister is and we love him very much.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

Clap your hands! Sleep Wave your hands Hitch a ride Sneeze Go for a walk Let's see you swim Now ski Spray Macho man! Sound your horn Ring the bell OK! Kiss Comb your hair Wave your hands! Come on, wave your hands!

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

5 years

BUILDING THE WALL!

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

Retweeted and immediately blocked by Jim Davidson and it still doesn’t beat his shortest marriage.

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@sharonGOONer

3 years

@piersmorgan Ok so where is your evidence that Meghan lied about asking for help with her health? I’d be happy to see both sides of this as it’s an allegation I would hope never to be true in any establishment.

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@sharonGOONer

3 years

@prodnose When did you last jog? Run a football team? Get them to a final? Stop a team like Italy from beating them on the pitch? Instil manners, patience and talent into a team? Jog back when you have.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

I found out today I won my PIP appeal on paper without having to attend. Maximum award in both areas. It’s taken since March to get this. The stress, anger, sadness and embarrassment I have had to endure never made me give up. DO NOT GIVE UP. Fuck the tories.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

@EggAccount1648 @rustyrockets Yeah Russell, I know the health authorities think they know stuff but you really should have listened to the trusted analysis of the egg account guy on Twitter.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SHARE YOUR OPINION ON EVERYTHING ALL DAY EVERY DAY. YOU EITHER SUPPORT THE MEANING OF PROTESTS OR YOU DON’T. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONE FUCKING DAY.

Owen Jones

@OwenJones84

6 years

Oh: and neither am I saying we shouldn't march. I've gone on more protests than I've had hot dinners! Protest can and has delivered many of our rights and freedoms. But it's often a long hard slog, and being lectured on protest by those who ignored them when in power is galling.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

@JackieK69342532 @GeoffArsenal Respect to Reggie 🙏❤️

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

I’m not joking, this cheese is bringing out the true flavour of the gammon.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

@louistheroux That’s for me to know and yocto find out.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

@Andrew_Adonis @ManMadeMoon I am no fan of Brexit but having worked in Whitehall closely with perm secs and DG’s and been a civil servant for 20+ years, that is a disgusting tweet and you should retract. How dare you.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

Hey pals, sorry for the silence, but I’m deffo turning a corner! Fever broke, sweaty chills have gone, cough is waning and I feel far better than I was. Seems this is a short sharp illness, 2mrw is day 7 from onset for me. Still mainly sleeping but it’s more comfortable.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

@TheEllisScott @RossKemp this obvs can’t sit well with you Ellis.Perhaps if it was an investigative journalist from the medical field we may understand it and see it as useful to share the truth. Choosing instead to send in a celebrity is wrong esp when you can’t see your wife. Love to you E.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

Who the hell would object to some of their tax going on cooked food for kids in school? I’d rather a few unentitled slip through than have a single starving kid go without. So that’s where I am at.

The Guardian

@guardian

4 years

Should the taxpayer continue to fund free school meals?

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@sharonGOONer

8 years

"What did ye ave for ya tea?" "Spaghetti" "What, bolognese?" "No. Hoops" This made me laugh for days after. #CarolineAherne

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

Whataday. Got an amazing job offer that I’ve been working to for a couple of weeks now. I’ve negotiated my terms (massive pay rise), accepted it and resigned! I feel so damn growed up.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

A proper schedule: 6.00 Wave ur hands 7.00 Hitch a ride 8.00 Sneeze 9.00 Go for a walk 10.00 Lets see you swim 11.00 Ski 12.00 Spray 1.00 Macho man! 2.00 Sound ur horn 3.00 Ring the bell 4.00 Ok 5.00 Kiss 6.00 Comb ur hair 7.00 Wave ur hands come on wave ur hands 8.00 Superman!

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

@lewis_goodall What do we do Lewis. You could share my diary of CoVid if you wish, it’s brief/pragmatic and it might stop a few people panicking, unlike our government. Take care of yourself x

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

@StephenKing A boiled ham waiting to burst out its greasy juices.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

I told my husband not to buy any ice cream or sweet treats today and the fucking idiot hasn’t.

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@sharonGOONer

10 years

Just took the Lurpack Spreadable out the fridge incase I fancy a sandwich next week.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

@DavidZodda I’m so sorry you had to go through that. When they pull through it will be thanks to you putting yourself aside and putting them first. Big love to you and fingers crossed we are soon readying about your friends recovery x

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@sharonGOONer

3 years

What a scummy man, Given half the chance I bet he’d snog you if he can

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

White famous men are closing ranks to defend Danny Baker @prodnose . Every reply to their “he ain’t got a bad bone in him salt of the earth bla bla” tweets are streams of white people agreeing. LOOK AT YOURSELVES. This is how structural racism thrives.

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@sharonGOONer

3 years

@DarcydawgFeeb @piersmorgan The Queen was not once, in any way, attacked or talked of in anything but a warm and loving way in the interview. Watch it again. She was NOT the target and that was clear as Crystal. To most people.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

CAN WE KEEP TO CORE HOURS PLEASE WE ARE ALL SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WE JUST WANT TO WATCH NETFLIX AT NIGHT FOR A BIT IS THAT TOO MUCH TO FUCKING ASK.

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@sharonGOONer

3 years

I love this actress in everything she’s in and I don’t know her name. Who is she? She’s so talented.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

Old fella turned up at Ongar Sainsbury’s at 7am. It opened at 8 for older ppl but the manager couldn’t leave him outside so he let him in and the cleaner got him a coffee and sat with him. He cried, he had no food in. He’d been to Brentwood store and got pushed over, so not >

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

I am going to have a grandchild twitter! I’ve been waiting since CHRISTMAS DAY to share this, isn’t it wonderful 🥰🥰🥰

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@sharonGOONer

7 years

This has been like getting hooked up to a drip of COME THE FUCK ON for three hours. Amazing. #OneLoveManchester

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

Katie Hopkins sympathisers - yes, she’s a salaried contrarian, but you CANNOT pretend to be racist, not for money, not for anything. You’re all missing the point completely. Think for a minute about the people she offends for once rather than social media point scoring. Pricks.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

We should have a minutes science #RIPStephenHawking

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

Well. This happened!

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@sharonGOONer

3 years

@MetPoliceEvents Expose the identity of every single one found guilty. They do not represent a country where people of colour have been playing foootball for years. My heart breaks for all of them.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

Just had my new entry for the Oxford English Dictionary 2020 first edition confirmed - Cornflake: (slang, derogatory) ~ someone who holds a strong facist position who has a seemingly sharp edge but turns to a weakened consistency (ie. slop) once milk is added.

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@sharonGOONer

10 years

How would Tommy Cooper tweet? Just like @

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

My son and girlfriend are about to have their baby. She’s only been in a bit & probably has a long night ahead. I’ve been quite cool about it all, but I just got that thrill of wonderment you get in your tummy sparked by those rare special life events. I’m having a granddaughter!

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

Baby Thea has made her entrance 😍😍😍

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

I’ve awoken to sunshine and an air of peace and I want to wish every single person I follow/follows me a peaceful Easter weekend. I’m sorry if you’re suffering, I extend my love and strength to those who are. Bless you all, be kind and lots of love 🌼

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

4 years of not sipping the booze today. I did have a cheeky Baileys ice cream recently though. But yes, life is ok. It certainly agrees with me.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

My husband was the cleaner. He came home and said it moved him to tears and he’s an old hardnut.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

@allisonpearson Is that really what you’ve chosen to take away from this? Really?! @BethRigby is at the top of her game and is currently owning political questioning. Crystal clear presentation.

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@sharonGOONer

7 years

To the original creator of this, merry Christmas

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

@TwoPaddocks I wish she ran the world, she’s in that super rare top few people we can trust to genuinely care about her people.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

Me *gives leaver a piece of cheddar and a piece of footskin pretending it’s a prototype of the only cheese we can produce following the EU exit due to import restrictions* Leaver *chews dead footskin “I honestly can’t taste the difference and I don’t know why people are worried.”

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

@DanSalmon @prformativcontr Therein lies the very difference between remainers and leavers. We have humour and warmth, nobody can take that away from us. They can test it, but they can’t take it. They’ll die angry, bitter bastards.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

@LouiseRead16 @jamajestical Yep and they work for outsourced faceless companies. Which doesn’t help. That’s the way the nhs will go and it doesn’t work. It’s not people or employer friendly, it’s budget and numbers.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

@bindelj @ben_bt It wasn’t enjoyable watching @suzanne_moore taking an absolute beating as she has done more than once because she’s your gifted, experienced challenging free thinker. You support Owen Jones over her, you should have held her up. In the same way she’s holding you up most weeks.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

Covid took my friend Naureen. 49. The only underlying condition I know about is she radiated kindness & light to such an extent it’s now dark. I know she had twitter b4 but was more active on FB. I’ve chosen two pics of her to share, I think you’ll agree, look at that light.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

@KathyBurke Same. Going quickly from sadness to anger and back again. Any decent PM would fucking condemn this outright. I’m absolutely ashamed.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

We are all different but as people can’t get tested & are worried if they have symptoms this is my Coronavirus diary, it may help to share & if you feel similar, isolate. Please note I have pre-existing conditions so my experience may have been amplified. ESP the fever.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

@SholaMos1 I am putting my shift in today on this. It’s relentless and I’m sorry that people of colour have this every single day. It isn’t your job. We need to change the views of our circles and work outwards. I promise to never stop. Love and warmth to you, Dr. X

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

In ten mins I have a Skype call with some doctors about a drug that could REALLY improve my life. Keep everything crossed that I qualify, Twitter. All the good vibes cos I’m extra rough today and can’t remember anything and have the shakes and oh man it’s hard sometimes innit ❤️

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

I’m bloody out out!

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@sharonGOONer

3 years

Embracing the curves with an elegant full length number. I'm really happy with it! Please ignore hair/no make up.

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

Please allow this very very short period of being so fucking happy I could cry:

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

@realDonaldTrump His day, and yours, will come. You corrupt jaundiced walrus.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

This was the tweet he has since deleted

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

Who stayed up until midnight to see the new tier in?

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@sharonGOONer

10 years

Went to a Depeche Mode themed dinner party last night. We had our own, personal, cheeses.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

@Arron_banks @lewis_goodall just take one second Aaron and imagine how friends/relatives of those who stayed felt on hearing this abhorrent comment. All that pain raised to the surface again. Fuck all to do with education, everything to do with compassion. This is Hillsborough level behaviour

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

I really want to like and support Priti Patel for getting so far in government as a female minority but it’s impossible when she’s a nasty fucking bitch.

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@sharonGOONer

7 years

Hot dog, Lost his job @Scaramucci

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@sharonGOONer

4 years

If @suzanne_moore wrote this the responses would be carnage. Alex manages to cover A LOT in this one piece in a gentle but pragmatic style. It clearly describes my position and others too scared to put their hands up. Great piece of writing with no rebuttle. Curious.

alexmassie

@alexmassie

4 years

On JK Rowling & the Terf Wars.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

Literally drowning in Primula here.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

Being as they’ve fuck all to do all day other than sit in trees shouting at their mates, birds get up very early.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

Remember before the internet you had to go to the school library and look in that book for the picture of a snake that had eaten a whole person. And the women with the longest nails in the world. That was our Ladbible.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

@MattHancock Just go you creepy arselicker.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

Fresh hair. Short and sharp, love it.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

Don’t lower your own standards by commenting on Katie Hopkins looks. It’s superficial and irrelevant when someone is a cunt to the core.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

Have a lovely evening Carole, don’t spend it being all angry, it’s only cheese. I wouldn’t want people thinking you’re a snowflake. Take care xox

Carole Malone

@thecarolemalone

6 years

It must take a lot of work to be as stupid, hysterical and uninformed as you are #PoorCow

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@sharonGOONer

3 years

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

What time is The News stopping tonight? I would like a few hours sleep if we’ve got to do another day like this tomorrow.

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

@DPJHodges Along with it being factually obvious that print and online media have treated her differently to the white princess? What more are you after, that should be more than enough for anyone, Dan.

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@sharonGOONer

6 years

Anyone pining for Benidorm on the telly? Fear not! Follow Twinks, Northern mum of 17 children as she drags her brood, together with MIL and toyboy husband to Costa Whatthefuckishappening. Making Benidorm look like Hi De Hi. Do not switch channels.

Twinks

@tinytwink

6 years

I shall be using this thread for my holiday fuckery tweets. Please take a seat. 14 full days with me, Liam, the twins, Ellie and my mother in law. @The_Teenager99 and @savannah_feeley looking after 2 dogs, a 4 bed house and the Golf

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@sharonGOONer

5 years

@KTHopkins You shameless shit.

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