My neighbor is a dick about my dogs so lately at random times I go out in the hall and yell RIIIIIIIIICOOOOOOLA and it’s sets off all the dogs in the building for like 20 minutes lmao
My boyfriend got mad at me bc we were working out at home and in the middle I just stopped and took a dab. Like hello that’s why we work out at home ya dweebus
@shannynsharyse
Hello not to be invasive but I was just wondering where I could send you flowers and not to be creepy either but this just made me so sad and I know flowers probably won’t do anything but yeah I would just like to send you flowers
A week after my ex and I broke up he posted a selfie with the caption “when you finally lose 130 pounds of toxicity” and I’m just like first of all I’m only 115 pounds of toxicity
I literally called like ten people to ask if they wanted to go meet the dudes from Breaking Bad and no one answered so I went by myself and had a shot severed specially to me by The Jesse Pinkman so hate on it
My last boyfriend was so mad when we broke up he was like “I’m gonna make the whole world know what a whore you are” and then he sent a sex tape of me to my grandma. Lmao Tf?
I told this older man that I was thinking about practicing law and he says “they’re not gonna let you practice law covered in tattoos and with pink hair. ” Watch me fucker
My high school ex is out there now acting like he’s all innocent in a Christian band like he didn’t finger bang me at a Smashing Pumpkins concert when we were teenagers. smh
Every time I get a DM from a new person I get excited bc I think I’m about to make a new friend and then I open it and they’re just tryin to sell me reasonably priced Ray Bans :(
Guys when I get famous a video of me getting detained at the airport for having too many white claws before my flight is prolly gonna get leaked just a heads up lmao I’m coming to terms with it to be prepared
This chick came up to me and laid her head on my shoulder and was like “I’m rolling balls rn” and I was like do you have anymore and she’s said no so idk why she was even talking to me