Sam Sutliff (Philly version) @samsutliff Twitter profile

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 months

Gonna put this in the bottom corner of my mirror so it seems like the Phillies are hyping my makeup every morning

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Last Seen Profiles

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

5 years

@ItsDanSheehan Can we talk about how Nickelodeon kept playing Spongebob all day that day when literally every other channel just said to tune into the news? Whoever made that decision at Nick deserves a medal. Without that small relief, imagine where some of us would be.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

5 years

@JenAshleyWright It took Winona Ryder's career longer to recover than this and all she did was long term borrow some shirts.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

1 year

@RhettLarsen6 @gldivittorio I mean he's got a job, he's sensitive and *creative*, he's FRENCH and has a penthouse in the middle of Paris (the rafters of Notre Dame). Sounds like a keeper to me, tbh.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

5 months

Just saw this listing in Port Richmond and I am so deeply unwell. $270k. What the hell am I doing in NYC?!?!?!

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

9 months

@entmoots They named their kid "Rumble Honey" like this is not real life kids!

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

1 year

@offbeatorbit I have literally never heard a single positive anecdote about this man.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@riteaid No way. Corporate made the decision to lock everything up. I'm not telling you the store so that you can yell at the employees you've inconvenienced by making their job so much harder.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@AnnamLaughs Me using up my one slap on January 1 😔

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 years

@PadmaLakshmi What is the spice??? Is he saying "curry" is the spice? Oh my God, he thinks "curry" is the spice.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

6 months

@lyndonbajohnson I don't live in her district and we had subway station repairs being done for over a year, longer than posted estimates. On my way out one day I heard the construction workers saying "thank God we're not in AOC's district, she'd be on our ass every day it wasn't done"

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@sweeneysays My qualifications are that one time I baked a spelt loaf in the middle of a GBBO binge and tagged Paul Hollywood asking if it was underproved and he responded saying "I can't tell"

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@justwongisms @dodaistewart I work at a restaurant in the heart of the West Village and we get paid better than any restaurant job I've ever had. Nobody can live closer than a 20-30 minute train ride away (which turns into an hour+ overnight). You are absolutely right.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

5 months

@D3andB Really leaning into those liberal values, ain't ya old sport

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@ThisPaul We have a drink at work called "Who's your daddy". Scotch cocktail. The HOOPS cis straight men will jump through to avoid saying the name when ordering. I tell them they can't have it unless they order by name, usually to delight of their date. Never want it to come off the menu

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

7 months

@KhalidiFarha Lol these dudes have no idea what to do with you

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

10 months

@offbeatorbit There was a guy I worked with on cruise ships who was so picky it was shocking in an adult. We went as a team for Mexican one time and he got a BBQ chicken burrito with no rice, no beans, no salsa, and no BBQ sauce. It was literally a tortilla with plain chicken and cheese.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 years

@MoiraDonegan I remember dating my 32 year old boyfriend at 24 and worrying I was too old for him. He left me for a 19 year old.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

1 year

@evemmore What's wild is literally anybody at any time can audition for Julliard. You don't need help from your famous parents to "get you an audition". You just need to apply like any other college. He got her a meeting with the program director, is what I'm sure happened.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@_john92_ @cannedgod @kattenbarge Bodybuilding is literally the worst activity a person with a history of ED can do. It requires extreme restriction, paying attention to everything you eat, weighing food, and it's literally building a body. You are paying deep attention to the shape of your body at all times

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 months

@cadlymack They're also acting like it happened in real time. Like this scene absolutely took at least 3 hours, and happened non-sequentially. Every day I worry about the common sense of the youths

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 years

@anne_theriault Their courtship was so pure and sweet. Momma Mary had been so screwed over in the past by her exes, it is always so nice to read about these two mutually respectful nerds doing it.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 years

@deadeyebrakeman Honestly! I lived in Burbank in an extremely residential area and even I had a breakfast burrito place less than 50 ft from my apartment.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@punished_cait Planning a wedding makes you realize how ridiculous weddings are. I'm THIS close to booking wedding alpacas because they sound less crazy than getting a bouquet specifically for throwing in the air.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 years

@deadeyebrakeman This one #iykyk

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 years

@DanaSchwartzzz The only, and I repeat, THE ONLY proper application of this is Sherilyn Fenn's two characters on Gilmore Girls.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 years

@shawwillsuffice @amyis_trying Pretty sure Hemingway's solution was to adopt a fuck ton of six toed cats and like... It didn't work for him but I've got one and I think about 5 more will probably solve everything.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

5 years

@Liberty4Masses @BetoORourke You'll get arrested? That's what happens when you refuse to obey laws. You new?

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 years

@N9ZF @RyHenry @miketnyc @Strandjunker @realDonaldTrump I'm sorry where in the Bible did it say "thou shalt screw a porn star whilst thy wife is with child and, yes, that encounter shall cost $130,000" I know my Bible, and I know my Chronicles. My God says love your brother.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

6 months

@1followernodad ... I'm in Europe right now and I've been eating a lot of garlic and it's much better tasting.. AND I DON'T WANT TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE "I WENT TO EUROPE AND LOST 10 LBS" INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX BUT HERE WE ARE

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

1 year

@offbeatorbit Cilian Murphy moved his kids back to Ireland from England when he realized they were developing English accents. Hot.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 years

@DanEgan2018 @honeybadgerIDK @DanHopp Pretty sure a mostly white team calling a mostly Black team "convicts" has always been racist af, but go off I guess.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@RottenInDenmark Honestly I didn't know what to think about this when the story came out, I thought it was celeb nonsense. But when you started covering it, I realized how serious the implications could be. Thank you for helping me to not make the 90s hated woman mistake again.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@mfbenji Heartbreaking. My seven year old son has stopped calling us "dad and mom" and only refers to us as "zaddy" and "maaaamawwww. We must put a stop to this!

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

6 months

@lyndonbajohnson Like I'm not into capping for politicians, and I definitely have critiques and wish she would push for the left harder, but credit where credit is due, she gets stuff done in the Bronx.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 years

What are your big tells on when an actor attempts your local accent? Most folks who try Philly do a soft "r" like New York, when it's really an EXTRA hard r and NEVER dropped.

Mara Wilson

@MaraWilson

4 years

Or "herbs"

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

1 year

@clhubes One of my favorites Brown sludge is coming out of my taps so thick that the water can't run through the filter: no it isn't.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

8 months

@philly_planner Lol I always get my hair done in Philly because I LOVE my stylist (and it's WAY cheaper) and my friends look at me like I'm crazy. It takes me longer to get to some places in Brooklyn and Queens than it does to go to Philly 😅

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@leiomy The bar is on the floor when you hear them actually calling them "dips" for the first time in season 15 😭

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 months

@CaralhoPhilly Lol this woman is going around saying shes working class when she OWNS on the UPPER EAST SIDE which has been one of the most traditionally wealthy neighborhoods in NYC since the very beginning. Zero sympathy 😅😅😅

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@LaureenNarro @RottenInDenmark I worked at a place that added a 3.5% "Covid recovery surcharge". Basically a price hike to make up for "lost income" during the pandemic. At the same time they only had a full waitstaff for 4 months before laying them off, I suspect they just wanted ppp access.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@ZeroSuitCamus The headaches eventually went away on their own because they were caused, like everything in grad school, by my anxiety disorder.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

11 months

@jiggyjayy2 @offbeatorbit Do y'all remember that episode where Samantha wears a crop top and all the girls are like horrified that she doesn't have a six pack? So much so that Mario Cantone's character yells "GUT!" when he sees her

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 years

But also, Jennifer Lawrence saying "King oF Prussia" instead of "KingaPrussia" in Silver Linings Playbook always takes my top spot as BRADLEY COOPER was IN THE ROOM

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 years

@PadmaLakshmi I don't even... Curry powder is a spice BLEND, made of a bunch of different spices, and regardless, Indian curries almost never use curry powder I just

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 months

@wtflanksteak Also mayo is made in literal seconds with things most people already have in the house.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 years

@katmsinclair Working for a cruise liner, this was EVERY conversation. "The boat is the tiny thing you sit in while the ship leaves you behind" was a regular phrase

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 years

This first-week-with-no- #GBBO on Fridays hangover is always the worst, but feels especially cruel in 2020

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@DannyVegito As a person in the service industry, my options are bad insurance for $450/month or ok insurance for $500/month through my job. On minimum wage+tips. This country is so messed up.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 months

I've seen more hate for Biden's performance tonight than for Eddie Redmayne's in his little hat. And people HATED that little hat.

Ashley Reese

@offbeatorbit

2 months

I’m sorry ppl need to stop huffing the copium and get serious. This is the same attitude that ruined the Dems in 2016. The Dem leadership were not born yesterday. They KNOW optics matter + that they have to attract people who are not loyal Dem voters. He did a bad job. What now?

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 months

@GBBranstetter Let's all thank David Fincher for realizing that the Social Network should actually not be about how great Zuck is and how mean Rooney Mara was to him.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

5 years

@dangergirl101

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

5 years

@jondaly

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@nhannahjones My local rite aid has everything locked up. I went in yesterday and had to ask the same lady 4 separate times to unlock the case. The items? Tampons, deodorant, dental floss, mascara. Made what would have been a 5 min trip into a 20 min one

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

6 months

@Jimmiwanderer @crulge Yes so everyone should just allow themselves to be exploited as an act of solidarity. You are very smart and progressive.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@JasonKelce Did your brother literally just call the mayor of Cincinnati a jabroni??? Eagles by 1000 😅

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 years

@N9ZF @RyHenry @miketnyc @Strandjunker @realDonaldTrump I read the book?

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@sweeneysays What kind of bread was it. I bake. Let me solve you a mystery!

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

6 months

@PanasonicDX4500 💯💯💯 Saw this guy Michael Knowles on a video talking about how men can't degrade themselves by doing "feminine jobs" (nursing, teaching, etc). Looked him up: graduate of Stella Adler Acting School who never had a real job until he started podcasting.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

9 months

@entmoots Just a reminder. Celebrities have fake names for their kids all the time. When you hear about a crazy celeb name, it's almost always a name for the tabloids to keep the kids out of the press. These people are 10/10 in it to get their kids MORE attention though. Rumble is real.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 years

@aubreyhirsch I'm whatever sexuality is wanting to kiss boys in glasses and wanting to watch thick ladies be mean to men (ala Joan Holloway). Where did Kinsey place that one?

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

11 months

@CespedesBBQ The sanctity of locker room journalism

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 years

@hpatt0n @JClarkNBCS Or just take accountability for not playing well even. That buys you A LOT of leeway.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 years

@AndrewYang With all due respect, you're a multi millionaire. Your kids are going to be fine. Run for mayor for the kids who don't have trust funds.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 years

@chrissyteigen Someone I worked with years ago (white guy) was on a big show on Netflix where the plot dealt with racial justice. He has not said a word about BLM. I understand he's still new to fame, but you make money from anti-racism, you have a responsibility to speak up. Period.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@ZeroSuitCamus Was having pretty severe headaches a few years back and was willing to try anything. Went to a few sessions and it did very little, but then he brought out this weird uv lamp thing and started waving it over my back like a magic wand. And that was my last session.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 years

@notsolittleold1 @LuxAlptraum Asking someone to do something is also labor. If I ALWAYS have to ask someone to do the household chores, or give them a list of things to do, that means I am the only thinking about what needs to get done and when. That is a mental load that takes time and energy to uphold.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

1 month

@dieworkwear Women, finally, can wear whatever they want without critique because the Outfit Czar doesn't know enough about womenswear to speak with authority.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 months

@wtflanksteak Disqualified. This is a fact , not an opinion 👀

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@cjciaramella @jaketapper This story is about the cruel and unusual conditions of prisons in the US. No one deserves that, even convicted felons.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 years

@honeybadgerIDK @DanHopp I mean... But they also came up with Catholics vs. Convicts which is DRIPPING with self entitled racist privileged bs soooo...nooooo irish

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 years

@shawwillsuffice @amyis_trying Ok I got enough likes on here that I feel I can shamelessly cat mom and show you the six toed boy in question 😁

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@oatmilkmotel Two people at the restaurant I work at like this (possibly 3...). One is 22, is opening up his own restaurant in Mexico this summer, and jets off to visit his supermodel mother in Paris all the time. The other lives in her parents UWS mansion by herself (their 2nd home)

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 months

@mitchysuch I just rewatched Memoirs of a Geisha and honestly my number one takeaway was how beautifully lit that film is, especially the night scenes. It all feels so intentional, and that movie is NOT THAT OLD

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 months

@mariegouz @HannahPosted Elon is their king, they said. So it follows that the husband will probably follow in his footsteps. When the doctors tell her she can't safely have another kid, he will find someone who can...

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

7 years

@angela_rye talking about #Ossoff with the hoops and the leather looking as 🔥🔥🔥as her commentary!

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@NBCSPhilly I love JT as a player, but as a dude all I can say is wittle baybee scawed of a wittle bitty needle? Boo hoo call the wahhhmbulance

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

10 months

@offbeatorbit See Seinfeld actually takes place in an alternate New York that is much like our New York, but **more** New York. And everyone knows the time when New York is most New York is fall.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

1 year

@MediumSizeMeech So this is last weekend, is this supposed to be... Not hot?

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

11 months

@PanasonicDX4500 Honestly getting to the point where I might like Mets fans more, at least they *know* they're losers

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 years

@1followernodad In undergrad all the music students had to sing at a large gala around Christmas. O Holy Night was the finale. Imagine being surrounded by 100 choral singers doing that shit in 6 pt harmony, each one holding a lit candle in the dark room. Not a dry eye. Standing o. Every time

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

1 year

@offbeatorbit The whole thing is weird, especially considering this guy is like a Bushwick 9. Like Nice Lil Guys with mustaches and glasses who can rattle off baseball facts and love all girl bands CLEAN UP in those circles.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

5 months

I didn't even mention the BUILT INS

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

5 months

@ed_k_sf @UsefulAnarchy @D3andB Texas is gerrymandered to shit, dude

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

9 months

@judysquirrels I honestly don't really like Carey in this either. The accent work is crazy, I can see her trying to figure out how to make "I don't need, I don't need" work from the page to the screen. And the camera isn't doing her any favors. This whole scene is...woo

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 years

@jk_rowling J.K. you are such a disappointment to me. I kept following in the hope that perhaps one of the many people you've hurt or feel betrayed by your recent statements would get through to you. Feminism and trans activism can and do co-exist. And so I'm unfollowing.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 months

@dave_wakeman @dieworkwear Honestly throw some 70's style short shorts in there and it is literally the hottest outfit a dude can wear.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 months

My husband just told me "we work because I'm play by play and you're color commentary" and I've never felt so seen in my life.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

11 months

@mccrystal_alex Don't be doing this dude. I like following you.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 years

@BravoTV Just start at the beginning. The first season is maybe the best season of reality TV ever.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

2 years

@BeijingPalmer Futurama "why doesn't Ross, the largest friend, eat the others" meme

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

11 months

@swagmastarpaul @ilovechooch Giving my tuxedo half a smooch and half a treat

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

4 months

@jrking215 I truly think being the mayor of AC would be the easiest job in the world if you were a normal person that cares about a city and not a shameless grifter. Like how are we screwing up "Vegas with a Beach" this badly???

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

5 years

@ldrawbaughh @bangtan_sinners @HtownCrystal @reygar51 @poptart_ghost @Daniell60614191 @validjasun @JustJem24 Watch Shrill. Plan B also doesn't work for women over 175 lbs. Also. You think if they want to regulate abortion they don't want to regulate "the abortion pill" as they call it? Hell, they're calling an IUD an abortion now in that Georgia bill. Sis.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

5 years

@dangergirl101 Or

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

7 months

@ericjfink They never recovered from that bridge construction :(

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

1 year

@RottenInDenmark Girl on that thread was literally saying, "I don't want to greet servers, but I make up for it by tipping 18%". As someone who waited tables for years, I hope she isn't a regular anywhere because guaranteed the staff have a nickname for her.

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

3 years

@kyry5 I do a lot of "is it praying cat"? when he sits with his thumbs crossed

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Sam Sutliff (Philly version)

@samsutliff

5 years

@DietervonSchwi1 @ItsDanSheehan Ok clearly you were not in the country that day. Every other network, other children's included, were completely blacked out that day. Every channel had the same photo of a candle saying please go to newd. Nickelodeon was the only channel showing anything but 9/11 coverage

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