Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul Twitter profile

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

3 years

Yeah I know HTML- how to meet ladies

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

It’s Friday the 13th (in October) which means you have to give all black cats an extra treat and a little smooch on their head

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

3 years

Your honor I was just being a silly little goose

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

“Idk why my back hurts??” Also me:

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

3 months

Well one of us is going to have to change

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

6 months

Deep sea creature

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

5 months

I lived bitch

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

6 months

Can I come over and stare at you like this

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

2 months

stupid stupid stupid

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Consider this a warning…

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

@coolmom42069 They should hang out with this person from my town

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

5 months

I pist gurl 💅

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

6 months

What’s in my bag !!!

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Step away from the box or lose your fingers

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Having a bit of a depresh today

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

2 years

Gonna fight mental illness by getting forklift certified

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

6 months

Hey do you have any quarters

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

3 years

I’m awake and ready to be a bitch

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

10 months

BIRTHDAY BOY BIRTHDAY BOY !!!!!!

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

5 months

You think this is funny

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

6 months

Hey I’m Cheddar

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Did anyone order a bowl of handsome?

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

2 years

I’m dating all of your moms happy Father’s Day to me

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

5 months

I just saw you put medication in my food

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

RAZZLE DAZZLE

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

6 months

So fresh so clean

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

5 months

Who up gabbin their pentin rn

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

5 months

Order up come get it

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

4 months

Give me your teeth

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

8 months

Anyone in North Carolina need a combo meal?

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

5 months

I have received mail

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

3 years

I got neutered in a Claire’s

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

2 years

Happy birthday gay people

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

5 months

You say it’s a coffee filter but I know it’s food

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

6 months

Oh god the voices

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Oh boy I hope we’re going to your mom’s house

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

11 months

I’m high on catnip and I just took a bite out of a ham sandwich and I think life will never get better than this baby !!!!

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

5 months

Gabapentin man !!!!

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

I’m like the male Hello Kitty except I love to hate

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

2 years

Getting ready to go pick up your mom

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

New cousin Atticus

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

9 months

Yes I have a nice cat tree but Chewy sent me a box so

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Been hangy out with your mom

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

2 months

Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage…

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

3 years

When he touches ur thigh

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

2 years

I’m so hot and cool

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Be sure to do your morning stretchies bestie

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

I’m in your house trying on your shoes

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

3 years

Give me all your money right now

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

3 years

Apparently shitting your pants is not allowed in this establishment

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

This is how little kids cough

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

I’m in the parking garage stealing catalytic converters and hacking into the smart cars

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

7 months

ITS FREAKY ASS WHITE BOY WEDNESDAY BABY !!!!!!!!!

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

11 months

Yeah sorry I missed the part where that was my problem

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

3 years

Mark Zuckerberg looks like he would die if he ate a lemon wedge

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

11 months

Special delivery: handsome boy!!

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

He hears voices

coffee

@eventualforever

1 year

who are the all time craziest white boys

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

3 years

One day I will blast off into space and then you’ll all be sorry

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

What the hell is up in those oceans we don’t know and it’s freaking me out !!!

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Don’t forget me when we move ok

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

I just like it better this way so what

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

2 years

I’m a magician here to steal your memories

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

2 months

Longlegs (2024)

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Everyday I wake up and I’m forced to think and it is bullshit !!!!

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

2 years

HAPPY MILF DAY EVERYONE GO MILFS GO !!!

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

BISCUITS FOR BECKFAST

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

PRISON ESCAPE IM GOING STRAIGHT TO WAFFLE HOUSE BABY

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

3 years

💅🏻 MATERIAL GWORL 💅🏻

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

11 months

When asked about his various crimes, Paul only had this to say:

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

For my mom birthday I woke her up by vomiting in the floor :) present :)

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

11 months

I wanna be a cowboy baby !!!!

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Shrimp is bugs

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

This is Lamby. He’s second in command at Blart headquarters.

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

It’s bed o’clock you best be sleepin

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

11 months

I’m playing Hello Kitty island adventure

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

I’m in your house putting fish in the michael wave

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

2 years

Before the crowbar was invented, crows simply drank at home

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

6 months

Ugh god another email no it doesn’t find me well the horrors are relentless

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

2 years

Contained for your safety

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

2 years

I am banned from all federal buildings, history museums and Trader Joe’s

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Solar powered charging in progress

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Two of them !!!!

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Helping

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

2 years

Got arrested for being too handsome and cool

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

2 years

Contained for your safety

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

I must obtain the cat armour

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

5 months

Welcome to the goody room !!!

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

3 months

Cracking open a cold one with da boy

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Yin n yang or whatever

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Hey guys it’s me Paul :)

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

2 years

One time I killed a guy for fun

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

On sale now at Target !

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

We should get fish tacos

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

We have the latest technology to keep your pizza warm (farts)

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

4 months

You’re saying I’m begging “for hot water” but I don’t believe you I know it’s something delicious

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Gonna ship myself to your mom

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

3 years

On the prowl for some hot milfs in my area

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

11 months

Got the zoomies now I’m running around this bitch like a bad ass kid in the walmart toy aisles baby !!!

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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul

1 year

Paul Blart: extended version

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